Naptha? Isn't that kerosene? Yuck! Oh, right. Aldehydes. I guess that goes. Some O-Chem hydrocarbon petroleum thing. (shudder) I use 7th Generation Free & Clear. It doesn't smell like much of anything. And glycerine handsoaps with flower scents (rose or cucumber). (Method green tea + aloe pump is foul (much too much tea) but the color looks good with my powder room sink top and the guests don't seem to mind.) MaryS, thanks for bringing up the cumin thing! It's fine in a complex curry, but it tastes like dirt to me on it's own, and I can't eat samosas, and things like that, that are heavy on cumin. Or taco meat without the rest of the taco (tomatoes help). On the other hand, I love turmeric. It's been decades since I did this, if I had a soup that just wouldn't come together, I'd dump some turmeric into it. I called it my yummifing agent. Which probably makes up for the cumin in the curry. :) Hey! Speaking of tea, I wonder if this all that we're talking about is also why some people think green tea ice cream is a good idea? I don't even like the smell on my hands from the soap, and think green tea ice cream is an insult to Flossie. Though back when I did caffeine, I didn't mind drinking green tea as tea.

Personally, I love veggies and have served them to my kids all of their lives. When my son was 6, he informed me seriously, "Mom, I'm a carnivore!". Still, he would eat his broccoli, so I didn't complain. He's never been a 'dipper'. My daughter loves ranch and Caesar dressing and will dip cauliflower or carrots as a snack. They've grown up with veggies unsneaked and served straight up--or with minimal dressing up. They through and out of picky stages, and now as teens they're fairly adventurous eaters. They love my roasted vegetable samosas, and will almost always try just about anything served to them. Meat on the side, of course--the hubs likes his meat so I've reached a balance. I have never nagged them much about sugar or sweets, and I took a lot of heat for that from certain family members who are a lot more strict than I was. While both went through stages where they'd overdo it, as teenagers they are more conservative and do self-limit. Both are label readers and have become conscious of serving sizes, calories, fat and carbs. They are both of healthy weights, though my son was chubby in his early years and I worried a little. I now breathe a huge sigh of relief. :-) I have a sister in law that was very strict about what her children must eat during each meal, and extremely limiting of sugary items and anything 'fattening'. While her children are all thin as rails and healthy in their teens, when mom isn't around they do not self limit sugar or fat consumption at all. I've seen two of them demolish an entire bag of Oreos in less than 15 minutes. (the big pack!) Still, every child responds to parental controls in their own way--what works for one may not work for another. I try not to criticize, but I do feel that not making a huge deal out of food is more conducive to developing a healthy attitude towards it. Just my $.02 and sorry for the ramble... Cj

beginner's eye, "...your assuming the person apologizes and accepts your apology. what if they don't. is that the fault of the parent as well..." I'm going to take....fault of the parent out of this equation and provide another example here. Perhaps a non-apology was given. I have an older sister, who I'm estranged from. She was given to periodic calls out of the blue. Usually, she would rage at me, criticize, judge, etc. Sadly, she just could never connect to my feelings. The point is that it was all about her and her feelings. I got used to her negative judgments and criticisms. She was very aggressive, although I'm convinced that she never saw herself as an aggressive person. She always framed me as the problem. Once, at the urging of some therapy group she decided to make another call. By this time I equated all phone calls and every interaction with her as emotionally painful. As charastic of her, she demanded to know why I avoided her. My sister could never, never see how hurtful her behavior was. EVER! Then she said to me, "...If I apologize, will it make things better?" This took me by surprise and there was a long history of her emotional outbursts, anger and denial. I responded saying I guess so. Then she got mad. Then immediately after she made another very telling comment, she said,"I DON'T GET ANY OF THIS." I was in therapy at the time and discussed her non-apology with my therapist and why I felt it was insincere--it was a very telling comment to me. She was apologizing for behavior that she didn't UNDERSTAND, because as she said, "She didn't get any of this." Neither could the rest of my family and the rage, anger and blame continued from them. My response was to distance myself even further. The concept here is that if someone truly doesn't understand how hurtful and destructive their behavior is (and will not own it and don't understand it), then I'm certain that the behavior will continue and there will be repetition. This may not be the best example, but think of a wife-beater who abuses his wife, then profusely apologizes with flowers, gifts and she reconciles. Then he beats her again, even more cruely than the first time. Then her well-meaning friends or relatives say, "she allowed herself to be manipulated, abused," or they may encourage her to "forgive and forget". Plenty of people MINIMIZE emotional abuse and the damage it creates, because unlike physical abuse you can't see it, therefore if you can't see it, it must not exist. I can assure you my estrangement from my sister is NOT TO PUNISH her. It is 100% about PROTECTING MYSELF and PROTECTING my emotions. It is not because I do not want "...resolution/reconciliation/closure/healing". Of course, I want that. I also want change and I want her destructive behaviors to STOP. I want her to demonstrate AWARENESS and I want to be convinced that she UNDERSTANDS why she is apologizing. I'm not interested in prolonging the conflict. I'M NOT INTERESTED IN PROLONGING EMOTIONAL ABUSE with someone who DOESN'T UNDERSTAND my feelings. I am also not looking for perfection of character. Responsibility and awareness, YES. That is what I am looking for. My intest is in preserving some sense of myself and protecting myself. I posted on another thread about the Art of Apologizing.

I wonder if the "kitchens no one cooks in" trend is tied to the "kitchens no cook would design" trend. Imagine young marrieds, scrimping to get a toehold in the housing market. No funds, nor time, to change the kitchen around. It has nice enough cabinets, all the requisite appliances, pretty counters. Even though it would cost less, be healthier and more satisfying, to cook at home, they never really get into it, and buy a lot of prepared foods plus eat out a lot. Then a baby or two come and they have even less perceived time, but mom wants to be a good mom and, having received that fancy orange and green babyfood making set-up as a shower present, really tries to make nutritious food for the baby, but it's just too danged hard. By the time she has all the equipment she needs out, and the food assembled, the baby wakes up and demands her attention. There's nowhere safe for baby in the kitchen at all. Compare that to someone who has lucked into a well laid out, functional kitchen, who isn't much into cooking when they first get married, but soon finds out that making a chicken and a salad, or some chops and steamed vegetables, takes a lot less time than going out, and is easier, because it doesn't involve all the negotiations, driving, parking, etc., when they're both tired and hungry. So she learns to make her mother's potroast and he learns to bake a cake and pretty soon they're making most of their food. They're paying attention to nutrition and spending what they save by not going out on beautiful produce. They start looking forward to the farmers' market. It's their weekly "date". They're used to preparing good food at home, and just mince it up fine for baby. What do you think? I hated my old kitchen so much that I avoided a lot of complicated cooking except for company. In my new kitchen I cook all kinds of things just for fun. I wonder how many people buy nice new houses with pretty but poorly designed kitchens, who never realize that their kitchens are preventing them from wanting to cook???