That was funny! I enjoyed it. I AM A GOOD MOM; JUST ASK MY SON I AM THE WORST MOM EVER; JUST ASK MY DAUGHTER

I completely understand your jealousy with bm now being involved and the kids acting like bm was never gone. My skids bm has been in and out of their lives for years and each time she called or saw them they acted like she was so wonderful and was mom of the year. Nevermind that it would be months till the next call....or that her boyfriend would be drunk the whole time the kids were there...or that bm would just sit them in front of the tv all day and the kids heard "noises" coming from bm's room during the day when the door was closed (afternoon quickie perhaps??). Anyways it would upset me so much down deep to hear them say anything good about her because all I could think about was the bad!! And how much time and energy I was putting forth to do the motherly things she did not do. It just about killed me for her to get any credit! There is no easy was to deal with those feelings. You just have to let them go somehow. Realize that the kids love you both. And she gets it easier because she is the bm....she has their unconditional love. And they will put the absent parent on a pedestal and hang on every good thing that parent does. But when they are grown they will have so many more memories with you and remember all the things you did for them. When they have their own kids they will remember talks you had with them and things you did. As for her babying them, well you can't change it. Just keep on with your normal routines at home and they will soon see that they can do XYZ at their moms house and they have to do XYZ when they are at home. But look at the bright side. They are getting to see their sober mom and have a relationship with her, which is better for them in the long run that having her absent and them blaming themselves for it. And if she spends the whole day playing with them be greatful....she could be spending the whole day sleeping and letting them do god knows what! OR she could be having boyfriends over all day.

Everything I do and don't do makes me feel like a bad mom. For instance, if I work with DS on his spelling words, I feel like a bad mom because I'm not giving him any relaxation (down) time. If I don't work with him on his spelling words, I feel like a bad mom because he fails his spelling test or doesn't get a good grade. If I have him do chores, I'm a bad mom because I'm making him put off creative things that he wants to do. On the other hand, if I don't make him do chores, he's not learning responsibility. If I stay home with him, we don't have any money. If I go to work, we don't have any time together. If I let him stay up past bedtime to spend time with me, I'm a bad mom because he's not getting enough rest. If I make him go to bed on time, I'm a bad mom because I'm not spending quality time with him. I divorced his dad because he was violent and cheated. So I'm a bad mom because I took his dad away. If I would've stayed, I would've been a bad mom for letting my kid be in that abusive situation. As far as FSD goes, I'm a bad FSM if I don't buy her what she wants. If I do buy her what she wants, I'm a bad FSM because I'm indulging and already over-indulged kid and teaching her to be materialistic.

Annie, I've always really liked "Deep Purple", but my association is with the up-tempo 70(s)? version. I'm trying to make myself get out for a walk so I'm not going to look it up now. Sadly, I don't believe I ever asked my mom what her favorite song was. I know she liked music, especially the music of her time and that of Barbra Streisand, but I don't remember her humming around the house.