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You Know You're a Redneck Gardener When....

11 years ago

I just had to save this LOL thread from the Southern Gardening goes with our Compost Wackos thread. Enjoy...

* Posted by Eddie_GA_7A (My Page) on Sun, Mar 14, 04 at 14:02

You Know You're A Redneck Gardener When...... edge your flower bed with beer bottles.

* Posted by: Feather_Inc z8 AR (My Page) on Sun, Mar 14, 04 at 21:19

hahahaha, there was a big discussion about edging a flower bed with empty wine bottles on junk gardening the other day.

* Posted by: WannaBGardener 8b & 4a (My Page) on Mon, Mar 15, 04 at 9:52 sit your old comode (toilet) on the front lawn and plant petunias in the tank. Then chain your old coon dog to it and let him use the bowl for his water dish. Very up scale. :-)

* Posted by: CheriG22 FL Z9 (My Page) on Tue, Mar 16, 04 at 7:31 cut v-shaped chunks out of tire rims, turn them inside out, fill it with dirt and grow tomatoes in them.....they look like crowns, and some folks even paint them white to make them purty!

* Posted by: ccoombs1 7B SC (My Page) on Tue, Mar 16, 04 at 12:12

Another fine use for those old tires...cut them in half, paint them white, and edge your drive way with them! Lovely!

* Posted by: nature_lover_ga Thomaston Ga.z7 (My Page) on Tue, Mar 16, 04 at 14:38 convert your junked conversion van into a greenhouse.

* Posted by: BDnBAMA 7/Alabama (My Page) on Tue, Mar 16, 04 at 15:16 move your refrigerator and the grass underneath it is yellow

* Posted by: heather_arch 8NC (My Page) on Wed, Mar 17, 04 at 12:34 cut those tires in half and line a couple up in a row - looks something like the Loch Ness Monster. (white paint is optional)

* Posted by: Rosie NE Georgia 7A/B (My Page) on Wed, Mar 17, 04 at 23:10 use your clippers to turn the old water heater into the perfect planter.

* Posted by: TSmith2579 Z7B/8A-Alabama ) on Wed, Mar 17, 04 at 23:26

You know you're a redneck gardener when... plant the driveway and sidewalk beds with collards and poke (sallet) weeds. run out of drinking glasses during canning season.

* Posted by: Dieter2NC z7b NC (My Page) on Sat, Mar 20, 04 at 22:10 think a spatunia is for used 'backy juice think fertilizer is an awful fancy word for what you clean out of the barn. dont get around to canning because you value your 'shine in those jars more than any amount of canned okra.

* Posted by: DaisyMae43 Alabama (My Page) on Tue, Mar 23, 04 at 18:55

...your favorite dish is okry 'n maters

* Posted by: TSmith2579 Z7B/8A-Alabama ) on Wed, Mar 24, 04 at 16:12

...your garden "to-do" list starts "fill a cooler with ice and beer". always attempt to identify people who come into your garden before shooting at them. know it is time to change the bed sheets when they are the color of you compost pile.
...the centerpiece of your dining table is that armadillo you shot last summer.
...your choice of a wedding gift is enough veggies to make a pot of soup. send your wife for gasoline for the rototiller and tell her to not forget the can of Skoal and a case of beer.

(Wanted: Attractive woman for marriage, 30-60 y/o who can cook, clean, wash, iron, fish ,hunt, skin critters, tan hides, plow, plant, hoe, can and freeze veggies, owns her own fishing boat and rototiller. Please send picture of boat and rototiller.)

* Posted by: Josephine_SC 7a -SC (My Page) on Sat, Mar 27, 04 at 7:14

...all your mulch is full of dog wallows and your yard looks like it's been shelled

* Posted by: FoxesEarth z8b (My Page) on Sun, Mar 28, 04 at 9:22

You know you're a Redneck Gardener when your suntan is face, neck, just below the elbows down, and to just above the knees.

* Posted by: Eddie_GA_7A (My Page) on Sun, Mar 28, 04 at 13:39

You know you're a redneck gardener...
when you sell whirlygigs out of your front yard.

* Posted by: girlgroupgirl 8 (My Page) on Sun, Mar 28, 04 at 14:02

Or when your yard decoration is a pink wooden pig that says "OINK IF YOU LIKE BBQ"!

* Posted by: Robin_northtexas z7 dfw tx (My Page) on Sun, Mar 28, 04 at 17:38

You know you are a redneck gardener if... you have whirley gigs in your yard (I do) and an airplane made out of beer cans and you show it off when company comes.

* Posted by: Eddie_GA_7A (My Page) on Wed, Mar 31, 04 at 20:56

You might be a redneck gardener if...
you're still finding Easter eggs from last year.

* Posted by: reesebug Zone 8, S. AL (My Page) on Thu, Jun 17, 04 at 16:21

...your goats are eating this year's crop.

* Posted by: merriss TN (My Page) on Fri, Jun 18, 04 at 11:50

...your hubby thinks the best "mulch" in the world is the "stuff" he just cleaned out the barn...fresh!!!!
True Story!!!! Cheap, also!

* Posted by: savannarose z9 GA (My Page) on Sun, Jun 20, 04 at 16:52

...your neighbors use their wrecked demolition-derby car as an improvised greenhouse(true story.)

* Posted by: CaseysMom 8b (My Page) on Tue, Jun 22, 04 at 22:54 drive by the neighbors house just to check out how tall their okra is... know that teepees mean greenbeans, not Indians.

* Posted by: Twinkle 7 GA (My Page) on Wed, Jun 23, 04 at 11:29 wear pantyhose to keep the chiggers off.

* Posted by: savannarose z9 GA (My Page) on Thu, Jun 24, 04 at 18:40 use roadkill for fertiliser.

* Posted by: vicki7 z7 N.Ga. (My Page) on Mon, Jun 28, 04 at 8:45

I don't know if it is redneck or not, but the first thing I thought of was... people who prune azalea bushes into perfect, round balls.

* Posted by: aisgecko 7 (My Page) on Mon, Jun 28, 04 at 19:31

(No, the round azaleas aren't redneck... just plain wrong! Let the poor things be.) know you're a redneck gardener when you design your flower beds around the old cars in the front yard.

* Posted by: MellieH z7 GA (My Page) on Mon, Jun 28, 04 at 23:03

...when a huge tree uproots during a storm and instead of cutting it into logs and getting rid of it you plant flowers in its roots. I actually have a neighbor who has done this. I nearly ran my car off the road when I saw the flowers growing out of the giant root ball.

* Posted by: TheCaretaker z7b S. Cobb,GA (My Page) on Wed, Jun 30, 04 at 5:51 put white plastic garden edging like a little fence 'round the edge of your truck's flat bed, then pull it up next to your trailer: voila! Party deck! I also nearly ran off the road when I saw this. :)'re also a redneck gardener if you're regularly tossing aside car parts, home repair detritus, and cans as you cultivate. After examining each item for possible utility, of course!

* Posted by: ladybug24 z8 AL (My Page) on Wed, Jun 30, 04 at 13:46

You might be a redneck gardener have "hundreds" of artificial flowers in your flower beds instead of live ones. And when the flower beds are full...they start sticking them in the links of their chain link fence!!!!

* Posted by: nanahanna a8 AR (My Page) on Wed, Jun 30, 04 at 17:03

You might be a redneck when you find a new(er) bedroom suit and put granny's old iron bedstead out front and plant flowers in the center of it! Yee Haw! (told my husband I would kill him if he did this after we actually saw it on a trip a few years ago)

* Posted by: live_oak_lady Zone 9 (My Page) on Thu, Jul 1, 04 at 20:23

nanahanna, that is called a true "flower bed". I have seen that in central Mississippi.

* Posted by: Renee_Z8a 8a (My Page) on Sun, Jul 4, 04 at 15:59

Great thread! There's such a flower bed in a trailer park in our town. The bedframe is spray painted the loveliest shade of bright yellow! :0)

* Posted by: savannarose z9 GA (My Page) on Mon, Jul 5, 04 at 8:58 paint a sunflower on your giant-sized satellite dish in the front yard of your trailer.

* Posted by: jessay3 SE Georgia (My Page) on Tue, Jul 6, 04 at 11:53

Please tell me you havent really seen that savannarose.

* Posted by: savannarose z9 GA (My Page) on Tue, Jul 6, 04 at 18:36

Yes, indeed. The satellite dish(big, huge variety) was known as the West Virginia state flower. (Duct tape was otherwise known as West VA chrome-used to hold bumpers on cars, etc.)
These names were only used in EAST Virginia of course!

* Posted by: jessay3 SE Georgia (My Page) on Wed, Jul 7, 04 at 20:00

Thank goodness it was in West Va! I didn't want that to pass around the internet, poor Georgia has a bad enough name now for being redneck capital!

I got one for you!
You know your a redneck when you have to weedeat the front yard because your dear husbands two riding lawn mowers AND his push mower are broke! True story, I did this yesterday!

* Posted by: savannarose z9 GA (My Page) on Wed, Jul 7, 04 at 21:26

Sounds familiar. We had 2 tractors, a bush hog, a garden tractor with a rotary cutter (walk-behind Gravely) and a Stihl weedeater and my yard was still full of tall grass and weeds. Now I do it myself with a $99.00 Walmart pushmower. Works great!

* Posted by: live_oak_lady Zone 9 (My Page) on Wed, Jul 7, 04 at 23:28 have flamingos, turquoise dolphins,and the Virgin Mary statue all on the small front porch from which Christmas lights are still hanging, topped off with a patriotic sign and a college football banner. I have to look across the street at that everyday. Hope she doesn't read this forum.

* Posted by: botanicalwonders 8a MS ) on Fri, Jul 9, 04 at 2:25 might be a redneck gardner if you plant poison sumac in your flower bed... I actually have seen this and talk about it to all my horticuture friends.. I saw it in Greenville, Mississippi... I still laugh about it. It was not the staghorn variety.

* Posted by: Pappa z8 WaxahachieTX (My Page) on Fri, Jul 9, 04 at 23:47

You might be a Redneck Gardner...
...if every vehicle you own, including your riding lawn mower,is equipped with its own CB radio.
...if you've ever struck a match to kill the smell in the bathroom.
(Then there was the lawyer who stepped in manure, and thought he was melting...)

* Posted by: jaceysgranny 7aAR (My Page) on Sat, Aug 14, 04 at 18:51

...if there's a bathtub smack dab in the middle of your yard planted with flowers.

* Posted by: dancingdachshunds 8/9 SC (My Page) on Fri, Aug 20, 04 at 16:36

...when you turn a (big) satellite dish into a fountain for your garden. I saw it!


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