I actually have a 12 step program that I came up with a few years ago, and it's proven to be very effective for me. Try this: Step One: Buy more hostas Step Two: Buy more hostas Step Three: Buy more hostas Step Four: Buy more hostas Step Five: Buy more hostas Step Six: Buy more hostas Step Seven: Buy more hostas Step Eight: Buy more hostas Step Nine: Buy more hostas Step Ten: Buy more hostas Step Eleven: Buy more hostas Step Twelve: Return to Step One I've been through the entire program several times, and so far it's been very successful and much easier than I anticipated. I do find it best not to go through the entire 12 steps every year. Now if you want a slightly more serious 12 step program, try this: Step One: Buy your first hosta at a big box store, become instantly addicted. Step Two: Dig up a small area in the shady part of the property where nothing else will grow anyway, and put in an entire bed of hostas--5 or 6 different ones, all from the box store. Be sure you do NOT label anything, make a map, or write down the names of the varieties you bought, even if the box store had them tagged. Step Three: Discover that the local nursery has MUCH nicer hostas than the box store, and that the entire genus does not consist of only 6 varieties--there are at least 20 different hostas out there! And you have to have ALL of them, even though the local nursery is a whole lot more expensive than the box store! Step Four: Enlarge your new hosta bed, because there is no way it's going to hold the 12 new varieties you bought at the local nursery. Besides, you are going back to the nursery for the other 8 varieties as soon as you get your next paycheck, or the birthday money your parents said they are sending. Plant the new varieties about a foot apart--a hosta can't possibly get bigger than that, can it? Step Five: Mention to everyone you know that you are now a hosta gardener. Eventually you will come across someone who will tell you that they have had hostas for years, and would be happy to share some with you. Drive to their house and be shocked at how large a hosta can get. Gleefully accept all the plants they give you, forget the names immediately, drive home and somehow stuff them in the new bed. Plan to enlarge the bed the next day. Step Six: The hostas from the nursery all had labels in the pots, and you have realized that you don't know anything about any of the plants you bought, and don't know the names of the ones you got from the neighbor. Go online to do some research, and discover the Hosta Library. Your head will now explode. Step Seven: You MUST HAVE every hosta listed in the Hosta Library!!! Immediately!!! You discover a hosta specialist nursery that does mail order, and place a $300 initial order. While you wait for it to arrive, you amuse yourself by digging out the rest of the grass that was in the shade areas to convert it all to hosta beds. The order arrives, and you discover that you have ordered 5 varieties that have a green center and a white edge, 5 varieties that have a green edge and a white center, 5 varieties that are green with a gold edge, and 5 varieties that are green with a gold center. You love them all. Step Eight: You plant the 20 new hostas, but something is wrong. It occurs to you that maybe a few solid colored hostas would not be amiss. You get back on the web, find a new nursery, and are quite taken with Blue Angel, Sum & Substance, Blue Mammoth, Blue Umbrellas, Golden Sculpture, Montana Macrophylla, Elatior, Niagara Falls, and Nigrescens. While you wait for them to arrive, you amuse yourself by researching the mature size of all your new plants, and realize that you are in trouble. A sizable hunk of partly shady lawn becomes a hosta bed. Step Nine: You have become aware that some sort of order must be brought to this addiction. Not only is your bank account dwindling alarmingly, and your spouse becoming a trifle surly, but the lawn is quietly disappearing as well. You have hostas everywhere, with no order, too crowded, and not well marked. Stop and take a deep breath, and don't buy another hosta until you have gotten ALL of your hostas marked, moved to better locations, and harmoniously arranged in the beds, taking into consideration mature size, color, plant habit, and leaf shape. (don't worry, nobody ever actually does step nine) Step Ten: Okay, now that you have skipped Step Nine, you decide maybe it's time to become much more selective about which hostas you buy. You now discover the hosta forum, a weird place where absolutely everyone is completely obsessed with hostas, and perfectly willing to talk about them all day and most of the night. You lurk for a while, then start to post asking advice on whether or not you should buy variety A, or variety B. The entire forum leaps in to tell you to buy both, and that you must get variety C, D, E, F, and G as well. Step Eleven: You realize that restraint is what you need, because there isn't a square foot of empty space left in which to plant another hosta, and you are still seeing pictures of must-have plants posted on the forum on a daily basis. Suddenly the solution occurs to you--minis! You set out to stuff a mini in every spot that has even so much as 6 square inches of available space. You also dig out and give away all the original common 'boring' hostas you bought from the box store, and start a wish list of the seriously expensive, new hostas that you will someday buy. Step Twelve: Give up on your current house, and move to the country. Be sure to buy at least 3 acres--anything smaller fills up too quickly. You are now a regular contributor to the forum (read enabler), sell hostas on the side to support your habit, are beginning to dabble in hybridizing, you go sport fishing at every nursery within 100 miles where the entire staff knows you by your first name, attend the national convention every year, and when you aren't digging in the dirt, you are busy converting other poor innocent souls into hosta addicts. The entire county refers to you as "that strange person with all those funny looking plants under the trees", you know off the top of your head that Montana Praeflorens is now called Montana Macrophylla, you can tell El Nino from First Frost at 20 paces and know who hybridized both, and you've never been happier in your life. Or at least you will be, just the minute you get your hands on a nice start of Ribbon Dancer! Congratulations--you've finished the twelve step program. I highly recommend it to everyone.

Angelfalls, I'm so very sorry for your loss. I too, remember being 16 and so in love. I know that the feelings are real. Having lost my 19 year old daughter and watching her boyfriend deal with her loss, I can speak only from that experience. I have not ever lost a boyfriend. They loved each other very much and he grieved greatly, as you do. After almost 8 years, he recently found another girl whom he loves and who makes him happy. He will always have Christin in his heart along with all of the very happy memories and so many special times that they shared. Just because he has moved with his life doesn't mean that he has forgotten her or ever will. I know that Christin would want him to have a happy life because she loved him that much. I know that you don't feel like living or thinking about the future and Christin's boyfriend didn't either. All he could think about was Christin and being with her again no matter what it took. As time passed, that pain eased and happy memories took the place of the horrible sadness and grief and lonliness. The same thing will happen with you. I know it doesn't seem possible now, but it will happen. Just take each day at a time with your grief, just like we all have to do. I promise you, he will remain in your heart, but your heart wom't feel broken anymore. It will heal. I'm glad you came here. We all care. If you would like to see Christin and a picture of her and her boyfriend, you can enter this site. Lu Here is a link that might be useful: Christin Cosby Memorial Web Site

tuscanlover - Thanks for the kind words. I wish your daughter the best with her 6 year old. They are learning so much today about Autism and how to work with it in the schools. It is so much better now then it was when my son was a student and they didn't know what the heck was wrong with him. And the general public is more aware and less likely to stare or make rude comments like they use to (though some people will never learn). I am sorry to hear about your move and the loss of your and DH's job, house and all. That is really tough to face at 55. My dad went through a similar thing when he was in his late 40's. In 1961 he was transferred by his company from Mass. to Illinois. He moved the whole family, bought a new house and less then a year later they closed that division. It was a very tough time for everyone. My mom missed her family terribly and we almost moved back to Mass. But then my dad changed careers completely and became a stock broker and made more money then he ever would have at his old job. He left my mother very well off when he died in 1987. And she still is very well taken care of by what he left behind. So when I see the grey clouds, I try to find the silver lining. As to whether I am still sane or not, my DH might debate you on that fact. ;>) Clare

I didn't know you celebrated St Catherine's Day, but I knew about her. I loved reading the Lives of the Saints when I was in Catholic grade school! We have All Saints Day, Nov 1st. Dgdau's school has a Saints Parade. She is 6 and trying to figure who she will be. All the boys want to be Joseph so they can bring their tools to school, HA Thanks for the info. Love learning about the customs.