Oh geesh Patti. I went to the Kellogg's Christmas party last night, and I think they called his name for a gift, or something. It does sound like she is just tired of fighting. Prayers for John and the family.
Leslie

Oh..Leslie...I forgot you knew them...I should have emailed you.

Denny just came in here...asking...What should I do?

We haven't visited them much in awhile. So what do you do...

Would it seem a bit strange to suddenly show up now that she has hospice. I feel like she would think all her old friends who haven't seen a lot of her are coming out of the woodwork because she is going to die...

I'm not good with things like this.

I'm sure their kids will be over there a lot and maybe they will have company. So I wondered about baking a cake or two that they could stick in the freezer in case of company.

Denny wondered if he should call John and maybe go out for lunch. They do that a lot. I think John might need to get away some times..but if I were in his shoes...knowing me, I'd never leave the house..I'd want to spend all my time there.

Suggestions please...

How do you say good bye to someone that probably knows she is going to die but doesn't want to...what do you do?

patti

Patti, that is so sad.

Thinking good thoughts for your friend and her DH.

Anne

I'm so sorry for your friend! Go see her and spend a few minutes with her, hold her hand, hug her if she can take it physically...you'll never be sorry you did that.

Prayers for your friends.

Its a good idea for your DH to ask him to go to lunch, as sometimes you need a break, and maybe you could offer to stay with her when they go!

Hugs to you, Donna (^_^)

Oh, how sad!

Please DO go and see her. Two years ago (at this very time of the year), DH and I learned a friend of ours had been diagnosed with cancer. Hospice had come in, and he was given about a month to live. DH and I hadn't seen this guy and his wife in several years, but we always dropped in to see them just before Christmas, so they weren't surprised when we showed up at their door. The four of us hugged and cried and visited, and he died a few weeks later.

Please go. As eva said, you'll never be sorry you did.

Patty, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending good thoughts for her. Yes, please go see her. Check with her husband to see how long of a visit it should be. She may be tired to talk for a long time. Perhaps you can visit for a bit, and then watch a DVD. When my sister was sick, we would watch funny DVD's and have a great time.
Sure hope that she does bounce back. This is a horrible time for both of them, glad that they have friends like you.

I also believe you should go see her. Five years ago, when my 29 year old niece was dying, she called in all of her family and friends one-by-one to say goodbye. It was so hard for us but it gave her strength and closure. She was such a rock of strength for all of us - we had to keep our minds together to be there for her and to match her incredible strength. My 2 youngest got some great advice - finish high school, keep on being the good clean kids you always have been, go on and have a good life. They keenly remember her words to this day and will always remember. She reminded me of many things, especially the days when she was little and we used to play Atari games. She told me whenever I walk past a blank monitor or TV screen, she'll be playing Atari with me from heaven. I'll never forget that. Okay, I'm crying again just remembering my darling baby niece. My oldest was going to wait to visit until her funeral, but I told her to forget the funeral, her cousin needed to see her while still alive so DD#1 drove for a whole day to come back to visit. Her eyes were so red from crying the whole drive back. DN told DD that she was full of sh## for bawling and to knock it off!

I was 15 when my niece was born and she was my "heart" child, more like my own child even though I have 4 of my own. Maybe your friend Donna needs to say goodbye too.

Prayers and best thoughts to Donna, her family, and all of you who love her.

We went thru the same thing with my MIL. Noone wanted to talk about it at all. Period. It was like it wasn't going to happen.
I think you should go see her, and just say something like "it's just been way too long", this might start a conversation about what she is feeling, if not, let it go.
I tried to do things like that a few times. I guess, trying to open a door. My MIL never came thru that door, but maybe your friend will.
Best of luck, I know it is very hard.
Rita

Go see her, visit and reminisce.
When DH was home with hospice, some former co-workers, friends he had lost touch with..called and asked to stop by. He loved those visits, enjoyed talking about funny incidents, and appreciated the unspoken good-byes.

In a terminal illness, acceptance is not giving up. One still fights for every last moment here with us, but accepts the fact that every day may be the last.

I hope her DH is not in denial of the true situation, because then he's not helping her to say good bye.

Oh Patti! I am so sorry. Sending my very best good thoughts for your friend!
I know its hard and believe me you should go see them! My DD and Steve said they drew on strength from visits of family and friends. Just go, talk about whatever they want to. Take a cake or some goodies if you want. You will bring them up by just stopping and visiting. If the DH wants to meet Denny for lunch or coffee do it too.
Like I said its hard,but don't let it stop you.

I'm so sorry for your friend! Yes, do spend some time with her. It's such a terrible time for Donna and her DH, and the company of good friends like you would definitely be appreciated. Hope she bounces back. Prayers and good thoughts going out to Donna, her family and friends.

Hugs,
Pranjal

I know how your feeling Patti. I'm not good with things like this either. I think I'd call and see how things are at this time, and if she's up to visitors. Take John to lunch if he'll go. I know he'll need a break, and will probably welcome it, if there's family there with her while he's gone. I'd take some dish he or family, can pop in the microwave, and not have to cook.
(((Denny & Patti)))
Leslie