I have to agree with Janine on this one. There really isn't a way to stop the scammers from joining or rejoining under new names, for that matter, if they really want to do so. Having been hear on GW and the seed exchange for over 8 years now, I've seen a lot of various types of scammers join and rejoin, over and over again. Fortunately, there are far more "good, honest members" that really are here to be part of GW than there are scammers. I do think there are some things that all members can do though, that would help to limit people from joining to scam for seeds/plants and all of us that are honest can follow these suggestions and help to keep them away. Since the special instructions for the forum link at the top of the page has not worked in quite a few years, it is important to keep the thread that has been done on the first page for new members to see and hopefully read. Don't be afraid to bump it up to keep it on the first page. Newbies as well as oldies need to be reminded of the forum rules and by all members following the rules of the forum, it shows that members, good, honest members do follow the rules and are not afraid or above the fray to point out the rules to others and help to keep those forum rules followed. By doing this and having this attitude, it does help to show those that are thinking about or joining to scam others that they are being watched and members will speak up about their antics New members that post with what can be called "beggar posts", asking for seeds and offering to pay postage for them and have nothing to trade for those seeds need to be referred to the "special instructions for the seed exchange forum" thread and advised to read through the info on the thread, look for offers that are made by members that include such words as "free seeds, seeds for postage, BEAP seeds, SASBE, THERE SHOULD BE NO POSTINGS TO THESE POSTS TO SEND SEEDS, PLANTS OR ANYTHING ELSE WHEN THEY HAVE NOTHING TO TRADE. Remember that no one on the forum is required to trade with another member just because and offer or request for a trade has been posted, asked for etc. If one feels uncomfortable with the trade or something doesn't feel right about it, one can refuse to trade, ask another "oldie member" for some advise on the trade, or just say no to do the trade, or have the other member send their end of the trade first. Always check the rate and review forum before setting up the trade or even responding to the member for the trade. Always post to the rate and review forum after a trade, do so as soon as possible and post something good, bad, indifferent about the experience with that member. If that member has NO review thread started then go ahead and start one for that member, regardless of how the experience is. Also, if you were offering seeds for postage, etc and a member responded and all went well with that offer, then post a review about that member as well, even if it is a new member. The fact that the member responded to your offer for the seeds, followed through with the required things to get the seeds, says a lot about the member that is good and should be known about the person. Besides, being an oldie member that does a lot of free seeds for postage offers, you'd be surprised at how many members never follow through and send the necessary stuff for the seeds. It's also important to remember that sometimes, things just do happen and there are some really legitimate reasons why there are problems with trades that appear to have "gone bad" and they really haven't. Life does "get in the way" sometimes and it just can't be helped. The problems are when the "real scammers" are here and causing the problems and that does and will always happen no matter how hard we try to prevent it. That is why it is important to be aware of what goes on, read the rate and review forums, ask questions when needed, follow gut feelings when they occur and most of all remember, they are, in the end, just seeds, plants and postage and total hysteria over the scammers, which has happened with at least one member is not worth the headaches and grief that it causes one self. Yes, I've been scammed a couple of times over the years here, but at the same time, I have also learned that there are far more important things in life to be concerned with than a total melt down over being scammed. That's not to say it isn't upsetting and it doesn't get me angry, or angry to see the same members returning time and time again to rip off members, steal seeds and plants and just create total havoc on the forum. We need to watch out for each other on this forum and any other forum that we are part of, warn others when we suspect that a member that has a history of scamming has returned under a new name or we are sure that a member is scamming on the forum. But, setting up various "probation" type membership rules or something of that nature is just not something that is going to work and I doubt that GW would allow it anyways. It took us a long time to get the rate and review forum added to the site. It needs to be used far more frequently than it is though, by all members. Fran

I don't know where you live. Each state is different, but I practice in California. I am an attorney, this is my area. I agree that too many people have trusts but often they get them through their "financial advisers" or because they went to some seminar that really just wants to sell them annuities. There is no general rule about when to get a trust; if you both were married before or have big estates its certainly a good idea. Then you would also have a pour over will which can give non-trust assets to the trust if their total is less than $100,000. That doesn't go through probate. Insurance with a beneficiary doesn't go through probate. Joint tenancy doesn't go through probate. Pay on death bank accounts don't go through probate. If you aren't married there is a lot to be said for doing at least a will. If you are living with somebody and not married I recommend you make sure they do a will. Often somebody comes into my office because the person they have been living with for 25 years has died without a will; the house was in his name but they have both been making payments. Its always a sad surprise for these people to hear there is no common law marriage in California. Sushipup evidently did a good job as trustee of the trust. she did what she was supposed to do--pay bills and distribute the money. Do you have any idea how many trustees have to be dragged into court years later because they have not distributed the money or the property? I have seen people who prepared their own trusts, appoint as a trustee, their son who was just out of rehab. One of the problems with trusts is that there is no supervision--nobody to answer to, and there is embezzlement. In probate court the judge can order an accounting, can order that money for a child be put into a special account etc. So I don't recommend a trust if you have nobody who is honest and trustworthy enough to distribute the money fairly.

Well it's been a while, but I thought I'd give an update if anyone's interested... This afternoon my brother and I go to the lawyer to sign the petition for judgement of possession, the descriptive list, and the waiver of the final accounting. I went over to my brother's last night and showed him exactly everything I've paid for over the last few weeks (final funeral expenses, my grandma's last household and credit card bills, etc.) I gave him a detailed spreadsheet that listed every penny, and showed the balances in all accounts after expenses are paid and what his share should be based on the percentages stipulated in the will. He was OK with everything, but I wanted to be sure he knew that everything has been above board and on the level. I also wanted him to see exactly what his share would be so he wouldn't be surprised at the lawyer's office by anything. So.....after we sign everything today, the lawyer should immediately file all documents with the court and all we have to wait for is the judge to sign off. Everything has been done by the book and there are only a few accounts and my grandmother had all of her records very organized. Everything should be pretty straightforward and easy for the judge to follow, so there shouldn't be any problems. The lawyer told me the judge usually signs off in about a week, so hopefully by the end of next week at the latest, this will all be finished. I am just very glad there have been relatively few problems and arguments. Although my brother was angry at first since my grandmother left a larger share to me, he's calmed downed and I guess he's realized she left him and his daughter sizable gifts. He isn't going to want to delay the process so that he can get ownership of his share. And he can't blame me, since it was my grandmother's decision of what she wanted to leave to whom--not mine. This has been a lot of work! None of it was really difficult, but I found that keeping separate folders (1 for info on all the assets, such as bank statements, car title, investment account statement, deed to house; and 1 for all bills paid after death) have really helped me to keep things in order. I have a little tote bag that I keep all of the documents in, including death certs, official administration letters, copy of the will, etc., that I bring with me to work every day. That has been a huge help as if I've had to talk with someone on the phone or go meet with someone, I've had all the info right at my fingertips. This has mostly been about keeping good records and getting tons of things signed and mailed to various people. I can't imagine how much work it is for big complex estates or when the deceased didn't keep good records! Keeping fingers crossed everything is smooth sailing!

He's 36. So not too old for the positions he's looking for - if anything he's too young. He was at Disney two years, and in September he will have been at this current position for a year. He knows that it seems flighty - it is really - but at the time he took the job, he took it because it was a job and that was something he didn't have. We didn't plan on it being long-term unless they came through with pay, which they haven't. Prior to Disney, he was at his previous employer 6 years and prior to that place, 8 years. So I think that speaks volumes. He is being open about the situation with Disney and his former boss. He knows better than not to be. Overall the bad fit situation explains it. I mean, the things she would get upset about are almost amusing - the (company-provided) blackberry chirping, him going to lunch with a vendor to close a deal rather than have the meeting in the conference room, STUPID things like that, and nothing he did offically "wrong" moreso than he just got on her nerves. And she also reprimanded him for taking time off for my fibroid surgery in March, and THEN he asked for 1 additional day to be at my side during my breast surgery in July. (He did have both the vacation time and the sick time, fwiw, and plenty of it). As IF I planned these two surgeries as a way to get him to take time off work? Then she didn't want him to take sick time to be at my side, saying he couldn't - but in CA, you can take up to half you sick days for a family member. So he went over her head to Disney about it (he was right, she was wrong) and she was peeved about that. And then the whole vague dissention of staff thing. She said she felt they were losing respect for him. No wonder when she kept going to them to ask them what they thought of him, no wonder when she'd override the tasks he'd give them - no wonder they felt dissent. He had a month left of his probation when he left - he basically went to her and said it's over now, this isn't going to work, after she tried to give him a "VP of Project Management" position for the remainder of his probation. The writing was on the wall. He felt it was a hostile work environment and just couldn't stand it another day. He knew then that he would be terminated no matter what he did, and chose to take the money and walk out the door. They gave him a nice severance in exchange for his silence and agreement not to sue. He questions every day whether or not he should have turned down the offer and sued. Anyway, I'm rambling... So he is being totally open about all that. Of course they want to know. Some of them even know this woman and know what she's like. (Like was said above, it's a small industry) They also want to know why he wants to leave his current position, and he's saying A) the pay B) the commute C) he wants to get back into direct IT. In the past couple of weeks he was interviewing for 3 positions. Was told he didn't get two and the third he hasn't heard but thinks he didn't get it (because he hasn't heard).