Wedding Invitations Question

17 years ago

I work with a soon-to-be bride who has a question regarding the wording of wedding invitations. Her father passed away years ago yet she wants his name on the invitation. Any advice/suggestions?

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Comments (5)

stephmc72
17 years ago
She could just do something as simple as:

Mrs. Jane Smith
and the
late Mr. John Smith
request the honour......

I've seen that on wedding invitation/etiquette websites and think it would be appropriate.
monica_pa Grieves
17 years ago
Tough one. Have you explained to her that deceased people can't invite?

What first comes to mind is

Mrs John Jones requests the honor of your presence at the wedding of her daughter, Jane Doe, daughter of the late John Doe
to
James Smith, Jr, son of Mr and Mrs james Smith, Sr

This would be very appropriate if the MOB has remarried.

If the Bride and groom are hosting:

Jane Doe, daughter of Mrs Jane Doe and the late John Doe, and John Smith, son of Mr and Mrs John Smith, Sr. request the honor.....
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Liltingbelle has it exactly right. The fact that they are both women is irrelevant for your purpose, so you do the same as if they were one man and one woman not officially married but living together as a permanent couple. "And guest" and even two separate invitations would seem like you are refusing to acknowledge them as a social unit or, worse, making a judgment. Follow your first instinct and send them one invitation, addressed to Ms. Jane Doe and Ms. Mary Smith.
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One of my daughter's friends had done exactly something similar to what you are planning. Her wedding ceremony was on a dinner boat cruise on a river and included only the wedding party and immediate family (and spouses/significant others of the bridal party) during late morning through mid afternoon. Maybe 40 people max total. She wore a formal wedding gown and veil, but she and her sister (bridesmaid) wore jeweled flip flops for shoes! The groom and father of the bride were also attired in formal tuxedoes. But after that, everyone cut loose! Her reception was an outdoor, beach themed reception which included inviting a lot of other friends and extened family. I think there were about 100 people at that reception. Everyone changed into casual clothes - shorts, Hawaiian shirts, etc. and they had leis as favors. They had a casual BBQ dinner. I personally was invited to both events, and I recall that her inviation was in two parts. The main invitation stated something to the effect that "You are cordially invited to a reception following a private ceremony of the marriage between....blah, blah. Then, for the people who were invited to the private ceremony, there was a separate small card enclosed with the details of the ceremony on the boat. It was a a unique and fun wedding and reception!
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linda_in_iowa
17 years ago
I agree with Monica's wording. A deceased parent cannot issue an invitation.
A deceased parent can be honored on the wedding program and also in a toast or speech by a parent.
bigfoot_liz
17 years ago
i used the wording monica mentioned last for the bride & groom hosting. my mom had passed away 1.5 yrs before our wedding and dh's father had passed away 1 yr before but my father insisted she be mentioned on my invites and his, he did his own reception :-/ i don't remember my dad's wording but it was something like the first monica mentioned. i really had a problem w/ this but did it to satisfy my dad...i felt mine was more appropriate than his but whatever lol ~ liz
talley_sue_nyc
17 years ago
No, no, NOT "Mrs. Jane Smith"--this indicates that her mother is divorced, not widowed. (though, maybe she is)

If she follows etiquette strictly, and her mother is a widow and never divorced her dad, the invitation would say:

Mrs. John Smith
request the honour of your presence

And THAT includes him on the invite, right there.

Or,

The honour of your presence is requested
at the marriage of
Catherine Anne Doe
daughter of Mary Doe and her late husband, John
to
Mr. Walter Fritz Mondale

(why him? I have NO idea; his name just popped into my head)

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Wedding Invitations Question

Comments (5)

stephmc72

monica_pa Grieves

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linda_in_iowa

bigfoot_liz

talley_sue_nyc

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