Start at another level besides the top. What I'd do is start with the nursing supervisor and express your concerns. And make a list to cover all that's on your mind. The Celebrex would be low down on my concerns, actually, but the change in her behavior on Sunday is IMHO a bigger deal. Lines of communication go both ways, up and down, and you are the one to keep the lines open from your side. But don't even worry about talking to the doctor right now. You need to talk to all the hands-on people and express your concerns. And yes, ask if Celebrex is the appropriate medication, and if they think that there is a greater risk for this particular patient. Remember that not all patients have the same reactions to drugs, and also that in ALL medications there is a risk-assessment process. Anything, from Aspirin to Zinc, has side effects or potential interactions, but we look at each patient and whether this drug makes a difference that helps and at what cost of side effects. When I was taking care of Mother, a number of times, I'd just ask the nurse who did medications questions and when I pointed out my Mother's reactions to something, the staff took action to make changes. But don't worry about the Dr. at this point. You need to start your comnmunications lines at a lot lower level. If you just go to the top, you might make the staff, who are indeed skilled, feel like you are complaining about them, and also ignoring their potential to take care of the problem on another level. My Mother was in the NH for 6 weeks, and I guess we only saw the doctor twice, and the rest of the time, we dealt with changes in meds or concerns about reactions with the immediate staff.

(where DO they all go??) Often they go home with the staff members, other times they go to other residents. At one of the homes my brother was in I went in to get his laundry one day.........noticed some of his really good shirts were missing. I went on a hunt for them, couldn't find them anywhere, including the laundry. I went to file a complaint with the proper person at the home, she tried to "poo-poo" it, then in a tone I did not care for said "well, in order to get paid you have to prove how much the shirts cost" I looked her in the eye, smiled and said "well, they were purchased at a high end store and this store keeps records of every thing their customers purchase......forever!" She went a tad pale, but still tried to blow it off as nothing. I finally stood up and as I was leaving turned around and said "well darlin' you have one week to find his clothes before I file a police report for theft" Within 2 days all his clothes returned and were never touched again! Some times ya gotta get tough! LOL! The nursing home he and mom are in now is so different, they have not stolen his clothes. However the problem comes because "laundry" is usually under staffed and over worked. If one is not going to do laundry it is advisable to make sure the resident has as many clothes as their closet will hold because it can take a while to get the clean ones back. In which case the resident is reduced to wearing one of those lovely gowns. And even if doing the laundry what if something happens and you can't get in..the more clothes the better. Plus, one more thought, what right do we have to take away our loved ones right to have enough clothes to be able to chose their outfits each day. BTW, in my experience the staff puts the residents in those gowns every night to sleep in.....they do not put them in nightgowns from home. I had several of mom's in there but ended up bringing them home as they were never used.

Not a frequent poster but I've certainly enjoyed following your home posts Bodica. You are in an intense phase of grief. "Did I inconvenience.." that is blaming the victim; don't do it. Remember that even though it was not installed, your mother knew that you were advocating for her right up to the end. Institutions can cause so much pain. I don't have experience with nursing homes yet, but the pain the hospital caused me and my daughter at her birth and in the following days took years for me to recover from. I wish I had spoken to a counselor or therapist bc it was very hard on my husband and I. What eventually healed me was the natural process of how dendrons/memories change in the brain (softens the memory; it's been documented), and also looking at how happy/free from hurt my daughter is now. Your mother is free from the pain now, I hope that is a comfort to you. Unfortunately many of us have gone through these nightmare experiences of intense pain; loss of loved ones, injustice. Some say call a lawyer, in certain cases I might, but also I just try to be more loving to the ones I've got left. That is what heals me and honors those who are gone. Best of luck, and fwiw, I'm sure this thread will help countless others. I'd never given a washlet a second thought before, but now it's high on my list for older loved ones and someday me.

My Grandmother had a massive stroke 11 years ago. She was far, far too well off to qualify for medicare. So the house was sold, the assets were liquified and my Aunt has had to use Grammys money to pay for the nursing home...for the last 11 years. The first place she was in was nice, a private home converted to a small place, she had a private room. It was very expensive, but no one really expected her to survive too long. About 3 years ago she was moved to another place, shared room in another facility that is not nearly as nice. I hate that she's there, but no one is equipped to keep her at their home (she needs 24 hour medical attention). The place is your sterotypical nursing home, and she's just gone downhill so much, yet she still lives. She told my cousin last year that she just wanted to die, but she's got those damned genes...longevity is in her system. Sorry to be such a bummer, but this is a situation that really bugs me. I hope your coworker can find some respite care...is there an Alzheimers support group? They might have some options or suggestions. My next door neighbor's mother has alzheimers, and she's finally gotten to the point where she's basically bed ridden now, so he can finally get out of the house on occasion. But it's really, really tough on the caretakers in the meantime.