Start at another level besides the top. What I'd do is start with the nursing supervisor and express your concerns. And make a list to cover all that's on your mind. The Celebrex would be low down on my concerns, actually, but the change in her behavior on Sunday is IMHO a bigger deal. Lines of communication go both ways, up and down, and you are the one to keep the lines open from your side. But don't even worry about talking to the doctor right now. You need to talk to all the hands-on people and express your concerns. And yes, ask if Celebrex is the appropriate medication, and if they think that there is a greater risk for this particular patient. Remember that not all patients have the same reactions to drugs, and also that in ALL medications there is a risk-assessment process. Anything, from Aspirin to Zinc, has side effects or potential interactions, but we look at each patient and whether this drug makes a difference that helps and at what cost of side effects. When I was taking care of Mother, a number of times, I'd just ask the nurse who did medications questions and when I pointed out my Mother's reactions to something, the staff took action to make changes. But don't worry about the Dr. at this point. You need to start your comnmunications lines at a lot lower level. If you just go to the top, you might make the staff, who are indeed skilled, feel like you are complaining about them, and also ignoring their potential to take care of the problem on another level. My Mother was in the NH for 6 weeks, and I guess we only saw the doctor twice, and the rest of the time, we dealt with changes in meds or concerns about reactions with the immediate staff.

(where DO they all go??) Often they go home with the staff members, other times they go to other residents. At one of the homes my brother was in I went in to get his laundry one day.........noticed some of his really good shirts were missing. I went on a hunt for them, couldn't find them anywhere, including the laundry. I went to file a complaint with the proper person at the home, she tried to "poo-poo" it, then in a tone I did not care for said "well, in order to get paid you have to prove how much the shirts cost" I looked her in the eye, smiled and said "well, they were purchased at a high end store and this store keeps records of every thing their customers purchase......forever!" She went a tad pale, but still tried to blow it off as nothing. I finally stood up and as I was leaving turned around and said "well darlin' you have one week to find his clothes before I file a police report for theft" Within 2 days all his clothes returned and were never touched again! Some times ya gotta get tough! LOL! The nursing home he and mom are in now is so different, they have not stolen his clothes. However the problem comes because "laundry" is usually under staffed and over worked. If one is not going to do laundry it is advisable to make sure the resident has as many clothes as their closet will hold because it can take a while to get the clean ones back. In which case the resident is reduced to wearing one of those lovely gowns. And even if doing the laundry what if something happens and you can't get in..the more clothes the better. Plus, one more thought, what right do we have to take away our loved ones right to have enough clothes to be able to chose their outfits each day. BTW, in my experience the staff puts the residents in those gowns every night to sleep in.....they do not put them in nightgowns from home. I had several of mom's in there but ended up bringing them home as they were never used.

Another good article. I always cringe when I hear someone say they've promised their parent that they will never place them in a nursing home. None of us knows the future. We have no idea how our loved one's health or mental abilities will deteriorate. It's unfair to the loved one and unfair to yourself to make a promise you simply may not be able to keep. My mother lived in two assisted living situations, but eventually she needed to move into a memory care unit. What the article says about staff numbers and incontinence care is true. As my mother's dementia progressed, she withdrew more and more from the planned activities. So she ended up spending most of her day napping or sitting in her apartment alone. However, once she moved to memory care, she enjoyed a day full of various activities. That was because the staff to resident ratio was better. The staff got everyone up & dressed and herded off to breakfast. Then they were ushered into the great room for activities. They never spent hours alone. All that to say that promising to keep a loved one out of nursing homes or dementia wards may not actually be in their best interests.

Thanks for the ideas. I've decided on a wall hung picture frame with 5 sections that I'll fill with family photos, an alarm clock/CD player/radio and Big Band CD collection. It's small enough that he can bring it down to Mom's for her to listen to occasionally. And he'll bringing one of our VCRs for Dad to use in his room with his TV. The activites dept has lots of VHS tapes residents can borrow.