Garden Grass Snakes

Garden Grass Snakes also known as Garter Snakes

(Thamnophissirtalis) can be dangerous. Yes, grass snakes,

Not rattlesnakes.

Here's why.

A couple in Sweetwater , Texas , had a lot of potted plants.

During a recent cold spell, the wife was bringing a lot of

Them indoors to protect them from a possible freeze.

It turned out that a little green garden grass snake was

Hidden in one of the plants and when it had warmed up, it

Slithered out and the wife saw it go under the sofa.

She let out a very loud scream.

The husband (who was taking a shower) ran naked into the

Living room to see what the problem was. She told him

There was a snake under the sofa.

He got down on the floor on his hands and knees to look

For it. About that time the family dog came and cold-nosed

Him on the behind.

He thought the snake had bitten him, so he screamed and

Fell over on the floor.

His wife thought he had a heart attack, so she covered him

Up, told him to lie still and called an ambulance.

The attendants rushed in, wouldn't listen to his protests

And loaded him on the stretcher and started carrying him

Out.

About that time the snake came out from under the sofa and

The Emergency Medical Technician saw it and dropped his

End of the stretcher.

That's when the man broke his leg and why he is still in

The hospital.

The wife still had the problem of the snake in the house,

So she called on a neighbor man.

He volunteered to capture the snake. He armed himself

With a rolled-up newspaper and began poking under the couch.

Soon he decided it was gone and told the woman, who sat

Down on the sofa in relief.

But while relaxing, she dangled her hand in between the

Cushions, where she felt the snake wriggling around.

She screamed and fainted and the snake rushed back under

The sofa.

The neighbor man, seeing her lying there passed out, tried

To use CPR to revive her.

The neighbor's wife, who had just returned from shopping at the grocery store, Saw her husband's mouth on the woman's mouth and slammed her husband In the back of the head with a bag of canned goods, knocking him out And cutting his scalp so that he needed stitches.

The noise woke the woman from her dead faint and she

Saw her neighbor lying on the floor with his wife bending over

Him, so she assumed that he had been bitten by the snake.

She went to the kitchen and got a small bottle of whiskey,

And began pouring it down the man's throat.

By now the police had arrived.

They saw the unconscious man, smelled the whiskey, and

Assumed that a drunken fight had occurred. They were about

To arrest them all, when the women tried to explain how it

All happened over a little green snake.

The police called an ambulance, which took away the

Neighbor and his sobbing wife.

The little snake again crawled out from under the sofa.

One of the policemen drew his gun and fired at it.

He missed the snake and hit the leg of the end table. The

Table fell over and the lamp on it shattered and as the

Bulb broke it started a fire in the drapes.

The other policeman tried to beat out the flames, and fell

Through the window into the yard on top of the startled

Family dog who, jumped out and raced into the street where

An oncoming car swerved to avoid the dog and smashed into

The parked police car.

Meanwhile, the burning drapes were seen by the neighbors

Who called the fire department.

The firemen had started raising the fire truck ladder when

They were halfway down the street.

The rising ladder tore out the overhead wires and put out

The electricity and disconnected the telephones in a

Ten-square city block area. (But they did get the house

Fire out).

Time passed and both men were discharged from the hospital,

The house was repaired, the dog came home, the police were

Issued a new car, and all was right with their world.

Several days later they were watching TV and the weatherman

Announced a cold snap for that night. The wife asked her

Husband if he thought they should bring in their plants

For the night.

That's when he shot her.