Isolation...Expanding on Cheerfu1's 'I can't get into the holida

18 years ago

I can't get into the holidays either, but that is mostly due to being isolated by my inabilities. My inability to climb steps, go out in icy weather, use standard commodes, get up from armless chairs, keeps me at home for much of the winter and often leaves me out of get togethers at other peoples homes. That includes my immmediate neighbors and my daughters homes, so it is really difficult to look forward to being left out of all the holiday celebrations going on around me. The only thing I can do is invite people here and serve coffee and cookies, which I do, but it is still tough to miss getting out to other peoples homes. I do just fine and really don't feel sorry for myself when I can get out on a daily basis, but the isolation over the holidays hits me hard.

What I want to convey to you all is, if you have a realtive or friend or neighbor, put an extra effort into stopping by a few times to visit with them. Maybe get together with mutual friends, etc and stop by as a group (call first, of course)bringing snacks for an evening long visit.

I can't tell you how much I long to hear the slamming of car doors in my driveway followed by the ringing of my doorbell and shouts of "Merry Christmas" as I open the door. I am sure that someone you know feels the same.

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Comments (7)

liz
18 years ago
WELL SAID GAZANIA!! The holidays can be a very stressful time...people alone...too many expections, memories of happier times,.etc., It's a time to reach out to others less fortunate, those alone or those who you think could use some special cheer or friendship in their lives! (and if you lived near me...you can bet your sweet bippy I'd be ringin your doorbell!)
talley_sue_nyc
18 years ago
and also a reminder to all of us that it would be good to make sure there are non-steps ways into our homes, if at all possible. And to de-ice our drives and sidewalks well.

And if we have a relative who would have difficulty using a regular commode, it's not that hard to get some sort of "arms" that would make it easier for them.
mikka_north
18 years ago
RINGGGGGGG..... MERRY CHRISTMAS GAZZNIA!!

Wonderful, honest post, and I hope everyone takes a few minutes to reach out to someone and spread some Christmas Cheer!

((((HUGS)))

Rosie
gazania_gw
Original Author
18 years ago
Thank you liz, tally_sue and Rosie. You would all be sooo welcome to drop by. If my post brought to anyone's mind someone in your life that has difficulty getting out, do stop by to visit. Most anyone that cannot get out easily wouldn't even care if you didn't call first.
lydia1959
18 years ago
What a super reminder for all of us Gazania!! We often get caught up in the hustle and bustle and forget that there are those that can't get out to visit others, but would love some company.

I hope you hear lots of doorbells ringing and "Merry Christmas" greetings this year!!
wildchild
18 years ago
My DMIL suffered from arthritis and osteo since her early forties. She had a really difficult time getting about in her later years due despite two hip replacements and a rebuilt knee. So I know how difficult it must be for you.

If I were near I wold not only visit but do some things in my own my home to allow you to visit.

Not only is your post a reminder not to forget those that are not as mobile as some of us but to think about making our homes more accessible to all. DH and I kept a portable raised toilet seat and bars for his mom. We moved a straight backed armchair in whatever room she would be in. Now whenever we remodel we try to incorporate accessibility into the design. A wider door, a higher commode, grab bars etc.

Merry Christmas Gazania.
gazania_gw
Original Author
18 years ago
I really don't expect people to "remodel" just for me. I have a set of toilet arm rails that I take with me if I am going to be visitng overnight. They involve some mechanics to install safely, so it isn't practical to do just for a few hours. I have 4 neighbors that I visit with a lot out in our yards and on my porch during fit weather but in the 9 years I have lived here, I have never been into their homes because of steps with no railings. Up till about 5 years ago, if the steps had a railing on each side I could with help get up them. No more.

It seems that a lot of people don't think about getting older when building a home. Wheelchairs need 36"inch doorways and the arthritic knees and hips of old age don't go with the standard height commodes. Steps without railings are just insane for even sound bodies. As wildchild noted, a firm straight chair with arms is a good thing to have. Don't seat an older or physically infirm person in "your most comfortable" chair, because it is very likey squishy soft and too low for them to get back out of.

Here is a tip that will help greatly for someone who has difficulty with a few steps. At the top, say on a porch post, or at the side of the door install a handle like a "C" shaped drawer pull (like used to be on all wood screen doors) Have the person who needs help present so it can be positioned where they need it. Being able to 'pull' oneself up the steps is a very big help. The handle along with one rail helped me up the two 4 inch steps into our last home for several years.