I remember as a student nurse 40 years ago I was looking after a little boy with Muscular Dystrophy. I took him to physio and that little boy walked across the room with those parallel bars to help hold him up. It was a long hard struggle for him to make it but he did and he was so pleased with himself. We got back upstairs and I told his mother what he had done. She said to me in front of him "You are lying". I was upset that she told me I was lying but it broke my heart that she said this in front of her son. I have never forgotten this incident in all those years.

Heather, what a sad story!

Softball, I'm an extremely honest person too, but have also told little white lies to keep from unnecessarily hurting someone's feelings. I would be brutally honest with them if there was a moral or legal reason to be so though.

In 1978 there was a co-worker who had been off from work on sick leave. I didn't know her well personally, but knew her fairly well as a co-worker. The day she came back to work she walked over to me and someone I was talking to. She and the man I was talking to had dated each other at one time for several months, but had been broke up for a long time. He and I were not in a relationship other than friendship; never had been, never will be. Anyway, she walked over to where we were talking and said someone told her that one of us had spread rumors about her while she was off. That shocked me because 1. I had not heard any rumors about her, 2. I have never spread rumors about anyone and 3. The person I was talking to didn't seem like the kind of person to spread rumors.
That man immediately said " You know I didn't do anything like that. " She said, yeah, she knew. I then said she needed to go back to her source. She had known me for 8 years and had never heard me talk about anyone's business other than my own. She said she didn't think I did it either, but it hurt my feelings to even be accused of that.

Two years ago, they took it to a lawyer...can't talk until resolved.

I agree, it's a terrible feeling. It's no wonder we still remember these incidents from years back.

My story dates back to when I was a newlywed, and had gotten together with my girlfriends at one of their houses. I told them about something I'd been dealing with. A former boyfriend had become my stalker. He was acting deranged, watching the house where I used to live and sending the new occupants cards and letters. It was creepy. Two of the girls didn't react as I'd expected, and I was told later that they didn't believe me. I couldn't imagine why. There was nothing in our past to lead them to believe I'd make up a story. It was so frustrating to hear that! I guess they had some emotional allegiance to the former boyfriend.

But years later he sent one of them a letter, asking her to deliver it to me. I'm sure she then realized I'd been telling the truth.

I don't remember ever being called a liar..

But I know my husband and his best friend (since 3rd grade) were playing backgammon and got into it over that game....DH's best friend called him a liar....It made Denny so mad he got up and walked out...

I'm sure more was said but he has never told me.

They have never made up....

I have talked to the friend a couple of time and my kids have called him , trying to get one of them to step up and do something about it. The friend will get tears in his eyes and say that he really feels bad about it...but neither will do anything.

DH just says...no I won't be treated that way...just let it go...

Whatever it was just can't be worth throwing a lifetime of friendship away. these two are 67 years old.

patti

About 15 minutes ago. A client with addiction problems falsified information to have his chq increased. I discovered the truth, and made phone calls that proved he was not telling the truth. When I told him I had made those calls he said "YEAH, SURE YOU DID...SURE YOU DID..." and continued to yell at me, until I hung up.

I remember using Ouija board in college with a girl who lived in another room on the same floor of my dormitory. There was at least one other girl with us. The first girl asked if she would marry her current boyfriend and the Ouija board said 'No'. She accused me of pushing the pointer to no LOL! While I don't think anything paranormal was happening, I didn't have any reason to thwart the girl's romantic dreams - I hardly knew her and didn't know her boyfriend at all. I was just dumbfounded to be accused of something so ridiculous. And why accuse me and not the other girl?

We weren't that close so it didn't affect our relationship much although it certainly didn't make us any closer.

I also remember a time when I was out drinking with a friend and another guy we knew who worked at a bar joined us and at some point he accused us of taking his money that was laying on the bar. The friend I was with was my best friend for over 20 years and I know without a doubt that she didn't steal people's money off of bars and I knew I didn't take it. Unattended money on a bar could have ended up anywhere (and who knows if there ever was any money on the bar) but he got really nasty about it. I was never sure if he really thought we took it or if he was trying to start something as a cover when his jealous girlfriend got wind that he was out with other girls (even though it was completely innocent). It really made me mad, I remember that. I don't remember what became of that. I think things got squared between us.

I am the fund raiser chair person of a small private group of freinds and family. We collect $s all year and use the monies to help several charitable organizations locally during the holiday season, or in a depirate situation or crisis of anykind.
I plan fun games and raffles and other things at our monthly picnics. With my own monies I purhase or make prizes and a few others also donate a prize or 2 when they can.
One of the boyfriends of a member of the group was coming with her regularly to the monthly picnics and often to the weekly night out. It seems he thought I was running a rigged raffle because he never won anything???? He would spend $1.00 on a ticket each time when there were many of the gang spending $20.00+ each month on tickets. I would tell everyone to keep the part that says "KEEP THIS CUPON" and put the other in the drawing can. One of the younger children would draw the tickets from the can. One of the older children would read the # aloud. The matching ticket was brought up to the prize table where another of the older kids would verify the tickets were indeed a match and hand the winner the prize it had been drawn for. How the heck can that be rigged?
He proceeded to tell his girlfrien and several others in the group his opinion. Each of whom told hiom he was out of line with such an accussation about me. When that bit of news got back to me and I faced him about it. He only reaction was he was quite upset that I knew what he had been saying as he asked everyone he told not to tell me. What a moron!
He posted to the group forum he QUIT the group and would not be back to any of the meetings or picnics and made extemely nasty comments about many of the folks in the group. Since then he has come to the weekly several times and sat down at the group table with his girlfriend. No one talks to him at all. He sits and glares at us. His girlfriend has told us he has asked her on a few occasions why we are mad at and not talking to him. She can't seem to tell him the truth. We have all made our opinion of him known to her and told her he will be welcomed with the same open and friendly treatment he received before his rude actions AFTER we hear verbally and publicly sincere apologies to each member he offended and to the group as a whole.
Personally I would like to rig a raffle to allow him to win a matching set of dried corncobs to plug his holes with.
CT

My Assistant Manager accused me of something that was untrue. She went over my head to my Superior. I called in a third Party to get to the truth. My Assistant Manager was fired for the falsehood.

I got pretty badly punished in public school, one time, for something I didn't do. I felt pretty badly, as the teacher had no reason to doubt that I was telling the truth. That was about 70 years ago and it still bothers me!!!!!

I worked for a short time for a man who routinely accused employees of lying to him; we hadn't put a file where we said we did or we hadn't made a phone call he asked us to make. It was usually something petty and strange. I think he lied so easily that he assumed everyone else did too. I've never had any employer, other than him, mistrust me and it was unnerving. Even after I realized he did it to others, I still couldn't stand it. At my 6 month review I tried to talk to him about the trust issue but the conversation did not go well! I knew we would never have a good relationship and found a new job shortly after that.

I remember when I was a young woman, I had bought a dress at a nice ladies dress shop and left it there to have it hemmed. When I picked it up, I continued to do some shopping as it was Christmas time. After visiting a few stores, I realized that I was missing the dress. So I backtracked to see where I might have left it. I finally got back to the original store and asked one of the clerks if I had left it there. She said no and I left.

A few days later, an employee from the shop called me and said that the clerk was insulted because she said I had accused her of stealing the dress! Really ridiculous! She suggested that I call insulted clerk and explain, which I did. I forget how the conversation went, but if I had to do it over again, I would have just ignored the whole thing, it wasn't worth worrying about it. It would have died a natural death.

i worked at a local small town full service gas station, i would either work 11 am - 11pm or 7 am -12 am yes you read that right, i got the keys to open and close since i lived less than a mile away, we were allowed to take money out of register as long as we left an iou or to fill our tanks as long as tallys added up. it worked great like i said small town i even babysat these peoples kids also, one night i took tank readings did cc and register all that. closed up set alarm. alls well 7 am alarm was going off bosses couldnt get in, so up i go pjs and all, well guess what 7000.00 was missing ahh hello my drop for the night was only like 3000.00, yes i was working alone, so finally they told me where they hid the money instead of taking it to the bank (jeeze can you say robbery waiting to happen) they stuffed it behond the furnace in the office only they stuffed it so far back they couldnt reach it, which is the same place i stuck my drops lol my 3000.00 was there and as soon as i could squeeze my skinny butt in the cubby hole to the furnace and found the other 7000.00 i got MAJOR apologizes and a raise babysitting and working at the garage! oh yeah and i got to drive the wrecker to make the bank deposits everyday!!! lol

This truthfulness and trust issue is a really big issue with me and I have come to wonder if is genetic or something. Probably not, but my daughter married(and still is) a young guy at college age. She and I found out that he often lied to his mother....and I so very often told her "if you want to know how you will be treated..look at how he treats his mother". Long story short (sort of) they eloped while I was paying for her apt. and college and he talked her into the "game" of seeing how long it would be before we found out. Needless to say, I was not happy and have tried for 20+ years to "UN-remember"this and other incidents. Fast Forward: Sept 2007 16 year old grandson is having problems...just not applying himself to school getting total F's for one full year...Nanny to the rescue. Sixteen year old comes here and within weeks of his arrival, he has a family member 150 miles away talked into running away from home to come here and she can live with her aunt & my son, and they can have all these "plans" of being together. Outrageous plans. He lied to us saying there had been no plans and there were weeks and weeks of being upset...me defending him to DIL and Son only to find out that they had begun this "internet romance" over the summer and he was using us. Both of these kids young for their age, not dating and she homeschooled. Once we did get that resolved and I told him how important truthfullness was to me, and how I never forgot his Dad's game; I thought he had the message. He stayed 8 months, made all A's in school, was a perfect house guest, we never had an argument, he did not like some rules...too bad. We have no idea what he told his Mom and suddenly one Sunday 11pm here we got a 1am phone call from her sending us a plane ticket for him to be on his way home in less than 24 hours. And we were NOT to have ANY discussion about it. No contact since. Bewildering. I still just shake my head and can't imagine what happened. We had this boy and his brother every summer since 2000...all summer most of the time. Bewildered. Nanny

I can't tolerate lying. The people in my life that matter to me know me well enough to know not to doubt my word, and the other people don't matter.

One move we made when I was young, we moved into a hotel while the movers were still packing up. The phone was still hooked up so that my mom could use it when she was home and when they got the next bill there was a long distance phone call made on it. They informed the moving company and of course they denied it. So, my parents then phoned the number and found out who had made the call and told the moving company, they got reinbursed.

Our fire departments consolidated a year and a half ago and my new Captain has a real issue with trust like everyone's trying to rip him off. Sometimes it get real insulting. He's also a ordained minister so sometimes I say "don't make me put my hand on the bible" or "you don't believe me, give me your bible..." You would think after working with people for awhile, one would know who to trust and who not to trust.

I am known for telling people how it is...bluntly. I have no reason to lie, nothing to hide.

This was at my former workplace, and it was about something that didn't really matter. Apparently, a coworker of mine had apparently told my former manager something that led him to believe that I was lying. He cornered me in an office and said "I need you to be completely honest with me." Luckily, the guy that had been over that department had been in the room and heard that and answered for me. "Cindy will tell you the truth with an f*** you behind it."

I had never gotten along with the manager that had questioned my integrity. Shortly before I put in my notice, he had me written up for insubordination which was absolute bull. I haven't worked there since April, and I still get angry when I think of it!

~Cindy

When I was 16, I was with a family member at a discount store, and she shoplifted. The store detective caught her and held her in the office while they called her parents. He said to me, "We know you were in on it, too, we just can't prove it."

I was *so* upset - and still get upset today, decades later, when I think of it.

Oh, I just remembered another one. When I was 12/13 my best friend and I babysat for a little boy who had some issues (autism or something along that lines). We worked for this family for around a year and we took a lot of abuse - parents were chronically late coming and going (promising to be home at a decent hour on school nights only to be hours late time and time again), at least twice not coming home until daylight, only paying us about $1/hr (in the early 80s!), dropping us off with the boy and making us walk back (up a very, very steep road), etc. We were dumb and took the abuse because how many ways does a 12 year old have to make money? They didn't pay much but it was a steady gig (they owned a restaurant and needed a sitter 2 or more times a week usually).

Well one morning after we babysat she called us mad about writing or some sort of stain on a couch. This was over 25 years ago and I still have no idea what the heck she was talking about. My friend and I spent the entire night in the family room so it couldn't have been that couch. It was white and we wouldn't have missed seeing something. They had a dark sectional in the main living room but that wasn't a part of the house that we used. The boy was only around 5 and not like other 5 years old so we didn't leave him to his own devices so I know he didn't write on the furniture while we were watching him.

Boy did it upset me because she wouldn't even explain, never paid us for that night (since as she often did, she said she'd pay us the next time). This is a woman who literally picked me up off the side of the road to babysit. She was looking for another babysitter who moved and didn't leave any forwarding info (which should have told me something) and she saw me walking and had recognized me since once or twice I had tagged along with one of her other babysitters. She hired me for that night knowing nothing about me. She cared more about her furniture than her child I think.

I had a supervisor who was promoted over me due to cronyism and it really left a bad taste in my mouth to have to report to somebody who was really an idiot. She lied about something I said to the bigger boss and I was dragged in and interrogated about it continually. I had worked with the bigger boss for seventeen years and now she was taking the side of this new supervisor. I transferred out and left the company not long after. I had fantasies about Soprano-like 'hits' for quite awhile! I would write a letter to this lady even after 8 years have gone by, but my wife still works for this lady and I wouldn't want to jeopardize her job.

Duane

Paula's post reminded me of a memory I had not thought of in decades...
Wow.
I grew up and played with a girl in our neighborhood almost daily. Her older sister had downs syndrom. I honestly loved her sister, and thought she had a wonderful imagination and she loved to play with her imaginary friends.
At one time my mom asked me if I had made fun of Roxanne, and that her mother had called and said that I did.
I never once did anything to Roxy, as I thought she was the big sister I never had.
I don't think my mom ever believed me, and this accusation came so out of the blue.
I would have never ever done anything to hurt this girl, but never felt comfortable in their house after that.

So sad.

Trin

This is kind of funny. I read this thread last night, and when I went to bed, I dreamed that my friend said I owed her lots of money and then called me a liar when I didn't know what she was talking about. In my dream, I thought "Oh, this is just like at the KT."

Thanks a lot for giving me a nightmare. :)

Glad to help out! :^)

I must have been in about the 3rd or 4th grade- I was walking home from school and someone must have asked my for my phone number or something. I pulled a piece of paper and a pencil from my bag and proceeded to write on it up against a cinder block type wall. The lady that owned the house called my mom and told her I was writing on the wall itself! I was in so much trouble and no body ever believed that I did not write on the wall but was using it as a desk- Sigh- I have not thought about that in years!!

Trish

Having just moved from one County across the line to another, I had to change schools. This was the beginning of my Junior year in High School. A couple weeks after school started, I wore my brown plaid jacket to school. A girl said and was telling other students that I was wearing her jacket that I had stolen from her. I was called to the office and asked about it. I told them it was definitely my jacket and that I had a picture of me wearing it if they would like to see it. I took the picture in and they saw that it was the same jacket and dismissed the whole thing. I don't know if the girl was ever reprimanded about that or not.

The reason I was so hurt about it was that the other students had heard about it and I didn't know if word would get around that I was telling the truth. It is hard enough to make new friends at that age and I felt it made it harder for me if some of them never knew I had been vindicated.

Sure glad I had that picture!

Sue

I was about 12 years old, and was taking a test in school, when the principle came to the door and said there was an incident I was involved in, and needed to come to the office.
I had no idea what he was talking about. The teacher said as soon as I finished the test, he would send me.

My mind went blank and I couldn't concentrate. I am sure I failed the test.

I went to the office and when I got there, a little neighbor
girl of ours, age about 6, was there and her older brother.
(Small school...all grades in one building). The story was that when I was walking to gym class the day before, and walked through the recess yard where younger children were playing, I picked up this little girl's dress and looked at her panties and called her a "debbil". I didn't even know what a debbil was...I thought it was a bad word that I didn't know the meaning of. Later, I figured out she meant that I had called her a "devil".

I don't know why that little girl said that. The idea that I would lift up her skirt to see her panties was mind boggling. But, she had said that...and told her parents, who called the school and, hence, I was in the princple's office being questioned about it.

I was crying and I couldn't remember even seeing her the day before. Supposedly other kids saw it, so they were called in, and no one saw it. (Of course, because it didn't happen.)

After about an hour, the principle told her it wasn't nice to lie and she had to appologize to me. She said, "I'm sorry Marilyn. I told a lie."

I was so distraught and sick, I went to the bathroom and cried my eyes out.

But, worse than that incidence...in '95, my husband fired a deckhand. To make a long story short, to get back at him, the deckhand got his girlfriend to say that her children had been out to our place, here on the bayou....we didn't live here at the time, and my husband had molested them.

They filed charges...filled out a report several pages long that said they were out here every weekend for 6 weeks, swimming nude in the bayou and riding horses. No one rides my horses...not even me. They aren't broken. Even tho our place is remote...there is a lot of boat traffic on the bayou in the summer. This is MY place...at the time, my husband hardly ever came out here because he was working, but I was here every day.

We didn't even know the woman or the kids. Later they tried to recant, but the charges couldn't be dropped. It took 15 months and cost us $60,000.

Now, if that won't give you a sorry outlook on the human race, nothing will.

That gives me a real sorry outlook on the human race. Before DH retired, there had been some stuff about sexual abuse in the schools. His teachers had to be really careful b/c they changed diapers on those kids--some were 21 years old. It was so wicked to have to be aware of that, have a witness, all that stuff. I taught pre-school and we were very careful where we put our hands on kids which made me so mad.

Wow, Marilyn, that must have been a nightmare. People should have to pay for messing around with lives like that.

I've always been good at art and drawing. One time when I was about in fifth grade, we were to draw a picture that was in one of our textbooks. It was a diagram of a foot and we were to do it freehand. I LOVED doing things like that, and this was a special assignment as far as I was concerned. After we all handed them in, the teacher handed them all back to us and said we had to do it again. "Someone" had traced theirs and that wasn't allowed. She said she wasn't going to mention any names, but she looked at me. Isn't it funny how things like this stick in your mind? Anyway, I was astonished. I took the book and paper home to do it again....I put my picture over the picture in the book and it was exact..just like it had been traced. But...you see...I could do that and I still can. So..I was accused of cheating and hadn't cheated. I did try to explain that to the teacher, but she wouldn't listen. I drew it over and made it just as good only about two sizes bigger. That teacher was WRONG....and that still bothers me to this day. We had had art classes, she surely knew what I was capable of doing. The only good thing is...I don't "think" the other kids caught on to the fact that she was talking about me. I wasn't even sure until I laid my picture over the one in the book and it matched...

One evening I signed out of work-you signed your name and the time. After I left , someone changed the time to make it look like I left early, then signed her name below. The next day the boss asked why I left early, I insisted I had not left early, she didn't believe me. Wish I had confronted the person who signed after me, but she was best friends with the boss, so I let it go.

I worked in an optical office with several other girls. The boss was a $hithead. One of the girls was his favorite...I think because her father owned a business in the same town...who knows. One day there was a mistake made on a prescription for lenses, and the boss wanted to know who had filled that prescription. Carol, piped right up and said that I had done it. I looked at it and said I hadn't, but the boss wouldn't believe me....the number 3 had a little curl at the end and I never made threes like that. I looked at the ones the other girls had done and Carol had been the one to make the mistake...I did try once again, but he said he didn't have time for that sort of thing, etc. So...from that time on, I put a little tiny x at the very top of every prescription I filled, but I never had to use it. I would confront her today if she walked into my life again :o(

Susan, there was nothing we could do to her. We couldn't sue her...she didn't have anything. It never went to court. After 15 mo., the charges was dropped, but one thing that really upset us was altho, they came out and arrested my husband, no one ever questioned him. They set his bail at $200,000. We got it dropped (lawyer did that) and he was out in a day, but no one ever asked him one question.

I was so sick, I went to bed one time for 3 weeks. We had no money because every dime was going to lawyers. The lawyer we hired, ended up in jail the day we were to go for a hearing...on cocaine charges. Had to get another lawyer...lost every dime we gave him.

All I could think of was revenge. One day it dawned on me that I have a good life and I always would have a good life.
These people have nothing...never would. They weren't worth revenge.

Within a couple of years, the woman was dead from a drug over dose and every one...including the three children and the deckhand ended up in prison for various things. It was an awful set back financially for us, but we went on to send our daughter to a good college, made sacrifices in our personal lives, and just now are able to come out of the hole on all of that.

That's a good way of looking at it, Marilyn. It's so true, that people can only take so much from us, but cannot ever take away what is really important. That you recognized that, only proves that you are of a much, much higher caliber than her.

I see a LOT of dysfunctional and destructive people in my job. And they always do seem to self destruct in the end.

I seem to recall having felt quite frustrated, long ago (I think) when I'd been straightforward about something, but someone didn't accept my word on the issue.

But I can't recall what the issue was about.

I guess that it didn't cause too much of a lasting injury to my sense of my own integrity ... or my mind ... or psyche ...or something, or I'd have remembered it.

Or - am I having a senior's moment?

Lacking third party or some kind of visible proof, how does one go about convincing someone of the truth of one's claim ... when the other person doesn't believe one?

I am sorry that so many of you have carried that hurt of not being believed, for many years, for some of you. And that it was so costly to your family, Marilyn ... not only in terms of dollars, but in terms of emotional stress, anger and several other detrimental effects, no doubt.

While we often think of the reputation of Christians as kindly, generous, forgiving people, I remember the viewpoint of a book that I read years ago, written by (Episcopal) Bishop Gerald Kennedy, (of California?) called, "The Lion and the Lamb", dealing with various contrasts/apparent contradictions in Jesus' life.

He said that while we think of Jesus as being kindly and helpful to the public, there were occasions when the leaders of the religious system argued with him and tried to trip him up with regard to religious rules, to get him to say something that contradicted the rules. Had he done so, he could have been condemned.

For example, it was clear in the Law that a (person? woman?) caught in an adulterous situation was to be stoned ... to death, and they brought a woman so apprehended to him, asking whether he approved of the rule. To which he replied that he felt that it would be appropriate that the persons there who had never done any wrong should feel free to throw the first stone.

Those who needed his love, concern and forgiveness got it -but the ones who wanted to hang his hide on the fence ... found that he was too smart for them.

We are called to be mentally alert, wise and shrewd. When we are hard-minded like that - we can manage to have a soft heart.

But often Christians are sort of soft-minded, I think ... in which situation they sometimes get rather hard-hearted, for reasons of self-preservation, which we all consider important.

Good wishes for a relaxed post-holiday weekend ... and my earnest hope that the New Year may bring the fulfillment of some of your long-held hopes ... and the visioning of some worthwhile new ones!

ole joyful

Xmas day playing cards. My grandson's girlfriend said i cheated to win. Never cheated in my life, and she was serious lol