Oh, yes! My DH's best friend's wife is a hoarder. Her DH hates it, her now adult kids hate it, her grandkids hate it, all their friends hate it (these friends are not to come into the house). When her kids were young, they didn't like having their friends over...nor did the friends like going there...but kids being kids, they would.

The adult kids have tried to clean up the house, garage and storage buildings, but she can't take it...can't throw anything away...someone might want it or need it...even says the kids might need it someday...they say "No, absolutely not!" but she thinks she knows better. She's diagnosed Adult Attention Deficit Disorder, but to tell the truth, I think she also knowingly uses that as an excuse to not work on getting better. She herself is as clean and as fresh as can be and a warm, caring person.

I've Googled on hoarding and found some intersting articles, observations and first-hand accounts that will make your stomach churn! It's a hard obsession to overcome but even harder for families to live with. It's been a cause for divorce as well as estrangement from the kids.

Leslie/KS

You're not counting someone with 100 rolls of TP are you??

I guess I am a bit of a hoarder, but do try to get things gone that I will never use, and give them to someone who will, or donate them. I made a Goodwill run today.
I have a lot of 'stuff'...pieces/parts/wood/metal...never know when I might want to build a bird house, repair a doghouse, put up a shelf, or fix something. I've started to save various things to use for molds once I get around to trying my hand at hypertufa.

I collect landscape timbers, bricks, creek rock, geodes...about anything that can be used for edging. I also collect fence...aka tomato cages/veggie supports.

My basement is a disaster. Only my very closest friends have ever been allowed to see it. It is shameful. Years ago a cousin was visiting for a few days. When he jokingly (I think) offered to clean my basement, I about went into orbit. I'd never be able to find anything, and as it is, I can pretty well put my finger on anything that is needed. It amazes me sometimes.

How could he ever clean my basement? He wouldn't have known what I needed to keep and/or why? He wouldn't have known what I wanted to keep and/or why and quite frankly I felt it was none of his business. To this day he jokes me about 'getting that basement cleaned up'. Well, it is a real sore spot with me.

When he 'acted' like he was going to go down there I about freaked out. Now whenever there is anyone here (like him)that I can't trust to respect my wishes of staying out of the basement, I lock it. I changed the doorknob and now I lock it when I need to.

I've recently gotten 5 rooms pretty well decluttered and have been trying really hard to keep them that way. Maintenance is the hard part. I totally declutter them each AM b4 going on to doing anything else.

I hope to someday have a place for everything and everything in its place. It seems it has been a life long goal for as long as I can remember.

With any luck, after Christmas, the only new thing I will have to find/make a place for will be a come along...the one and only thing I want or need...along with edible goodies of course.

You're not counting someone with 100 rolls of TP are you??
That's not hoarding, that is being well stocked

Sue...a packrat with 5 bottles of Dawn stocked up

My sweet 83 year old neighbor is one. Step in her front door and you've got a stack of encyclopedias 4 1/2 feet high to your right, and so much clothing/coats/dresses/ sticking out of the closet on the left that you can only stand there with your arms at your sides. Living room heaped 4-5 feet high with stuff, dolls, cookware, blankets, rugs, wind chimes, baskets, books, etc, not categorized, just piled. A path goes around it, about 18 inches or 2 feet, and more stuff stacked up high against the walls. A ditch cuts through the middle pile, so that she can watch her tv from her chair at the front window. She can't cook in her kitchen, the counters are stuffed full to the bottom of her upper cabinets, right out to the edge. Stove surface is storage, kitchen table is storage. Back rooms too. By my judgement (and it's pretty good) some are antiques or sentimental things she could hand down to her family, but that's just 5%. The rest she does not need.

Her kids tried to get her to move into a home last year, they and grandkids came over and started hauling stuff out. She cried and cried, then started to become physically ill. So they left her, you can tell she's lonely for attention, needs to be somewhere with her peers. This past summer she held garage sales each weekend to try to get rid of furniture, she's in a 1000 sq foot home, has equivalent of 10 living room sets (10 couches, 10 loveseats, more than 10 single lazy boy style chairs). Cribs. She keeps buying cribs for her great great grandbabies. She sold some stuff, week later the local charity cube van stops by, I think yeah, she's gonna donate some of this junk (some of it has been sitting out in the rain and wind all summer), but no, she's seen some chairs that she and her now deceased hubby had when they first married, or seen some comfy chairs she knows her great granddaughter could use...and she refills her home.

Her kids shouldn't have waffled when she cried and guilted them. They should have removed their mother and put her into the home they'd picked out for her, then culled through her stuff. Now they leave her alone, some grandkids will stop in periodically to check on her, but she shouldn't be living alone, she can't take care of the place, never mind all the junk, when she manages to 'jump' me as I'm getting out of my car she holds me hostage and tells me all her worries about all her junk, how can she clean it up, she doesn't want to leave such a mess for her family to take care of when she passes, and I think, she shouldn't be spending her last few years living like this. She's unhappy but can't beat this by herself, one of her family members needs to steel themselves up, take care of this no matter how badly she cries, and do what it is she needs, not what she wants.

My mother was a hoarder.Her house looked like that one that someone posted the link to.The last 10 years before she and my dad passed away it really bothered Daddy.He was embarrassed for anyone to come to see them.We decided to clean out her "stuff" while they were on a trip,with Daddy's blessing.When she came home she about had a nervous breakdown.She was physically ill for a long time after that.It was like she had lost everything.Hoarding is a mental illness.If I had known how much it hurt her for someone to take away her things,I would never have done it.She didn't throw anything away so hers was actually the worse kind of hoarding.Just an example she kept food containers,take out cups,used saran wrap,used foil,straws,the insides from cereal boxes and the cereal boxes,all kinds of stuff that she thought someone might need or that she could recycle or make something out of.She was a very crafty and talented person and could come up with a lot of cute ideas for reusing things but took it to the extreme.I guess I got some of her hoarding genes because I am somewhat of a hoarder.Not near like she was but I do tend to hang onto things that I shouldn't keep.I am trying to overcome it.My DH is somewhat of a pack rat but we are working on that too.LOL
Frazoo-Don't be too quick to judge or look down on your DH's best friend's wife.Most likely she can't help it and being AADD just makes it worse.Her kids and grandkids need to get over it and understand what is going on.The last thing people with this illness need is to be ignored or feel like everyone they love has abandoned them! Maybe you could be her friend??
Mother always made excuses for the way her house looked but I know she was as embarrassed as Daddy was.She just didn't know how to deal with it.It was overwhelming to her.I can understand that now because I sometimes feel overwhelmed.

My dad is a hoarder and has been for as long as I can remember. He won't throw anything out and it absolutely drives my mother insane. The attic is full of stuff, so is the roof cavity, and underneath the house, as well as the yard. My dad is 86 and I think that even though he knows there is stuff everywhere, he can't face cleaning it up and it worries my mum greatly that when they have gone, it will be left to my sister and I to clean it all up. I'm not looking forward to that, but dad will never change and won't budge, so we will just have to cross that bridge when we come to it. I do realise that this is a disease and dad can't help it, but I dislike so much the fact that it has made my mum's life such a misery.

My brother and wife are but it is not typical. It is filth.
They had a small house and filled it up and then moved into a pet store they own. We thought the pet store would be different when they opened it but the counters are stacked so tall you could not sit something there if you wanted too.
The animals get good care but the place is full of stuff and stinks to high heaven. Mice run across the floor while you are there. They are wonderful people but it is just insane how they live in a little corner room. I would not be suprised if someday the whole place burns down with them in it. The place stinks but they still have enough business (mostly selling birds) to keep it going. I quit going in there because the odor clings to your clothes. It's sad..
Kathy

All of these are very sad stories - it is especially sad that the the HEALTH of the people mentioned here is at such a risk by simply living in those conditions. That recent Oprah show was an eye-opener for me. Very, very sad...

My husband's cousin, and my own sister are hoarders. My sister is worse. She lives in filth. My brother went there to stay for a few days, but he got sick from it and had to leave early. He said there is so much stuff in the living room, that there is no place to sit down, and all the rooms are like that. He said the dogs do their business in the house. It's disgusting. They came to stay with me for 10 days a few years ago (they live in Calgary, and I live in southern Ontario), and the room they were in was a disaster the whole time they were here.

My best friend is. You can't find her counter tops and you have to move things to set down. It's not only hoarding things but it's like compulsive buying. She can't stop buying kitchen gadgets. She has piles of things that have never been open. Says she might need it some day. Her computer room has more then 300 vhs tapes stacked against the walls. She just kept buying more and more now who uses them anymore. She's the same way with food. She has cases and cases of food stacked in her basement and keeps adding to it. She will never buy one or two cans of corn, it's one of two cases. She's had most of it so long the cans are rusting and we all know that's not healthy. They have three freezers completely full, just for the two of them. In 2000 they bought 20 kerosene heaters in case they couldn't get to town. Her DH is same way. Love them dearly but just not there reasoning.

I have a very good friend who is - never been in her house - she won't let anyone even close to the front door. The sad thing is, she is just the sweetest, most generous person I've ever known. She says there are rooms in her house (3,000sf home) that she hasn't been in for years - keeeps the doors closed. This summer something went wrong with their a/c and plumbing, and she and her DH moved into a motel for a few weeks to stay cool, and she takes showers at a rec center - ??? I asked a mutual friend who told me this - - how do they flush the toilet? She had no answer to that - said she didn't want to know. I'd think if the health dept. knew, the house could be declared unfit for human habitation, until it was fixed. I know they can afford to do this, but as the mutual friend said - problem is, they don't want anyone coming inside the home. I know it is a mental illness, but just so sad that this beautiful person lives like this, and she KNOWS it isn't a good way to exist! I think events in one's life lead to this method of adapting - some loss in their life and they turn to compensating in this way. I'm the opposite - getting rid of things that I don't need lately with a vengence - even family keepsakes - DD has taken alot of them. Clean, uncluttered empty space is so serene and peaceful.

My mother is a MEGA hoarder. Due to a fire, she lost everything a couple of years ago, but every chair in her place is once again not movable, due to boxes under them. Under the bed is stuffed full, and the closet doors don't shut.

My siblings and I shudder at the thought of having to clean her place out one day.

Moni

My MIL...it's very sad for her and the entire family.

We've discussed hoarding and hoarders a lot on the Organizing forum. Take your pick from any of these threads. It's an interesting and disturbing phenomenon.

Who me?? Actually, I consider myself a collector. I don't have any problem throwing stuff away. I have never saved old Cool Whip containers...heck, I don't even own any Tupperware. I would never re-use aluminum foil or wash baggies...in other words, I am clean.

I don't even save left over food for more than a day. I don't save newspapers or magazines, and I go through my mail...and throw most of it away before I leave the post office. I don't keep clothes that I can't wear...recently lost a little weight and immediately got rid of all my "fat" clothes...so there is no going back, unless I get some more.

I have a lot of cats...like, about 20, but I live in the country with no neighbors, and they are rescues, all fixed, and not house cats. Sometimes a couple will come in for awhile, and Cloud, the latest rescue is in all the time. (Plus all of my cat food is free from the rehabbers and a lot of my vet supplies). They have a cat house, among other places, to get in out of the weather. I also have the two dogs in at night, and when I have baby possums, they are inside so they will stay warm.

But, I collect stuff...and I know my daughter dreads the day that she has to go through all of it. I have 4 store rooms. Some is packed in boxes, and some of it is stacked neatly.
I don't actively collect much any more, except I always look for garden related things at yard sales, and, of course, on the curb.

I know that I am obcessive/compulsive. I either like something to the point that I am totally crazy about it or I have absolutely no interest at all. That lead me to have 200 varieties of waterlilies, and I have 7 old iron tables and chairs, and at least 30 plant stands, and about 5 bakers
racks. I love old stuff and if it is rusty or peeling paint, I love it more. I will always drag it home, if I find it and I can. But the animals, the plants and the junk make me a very happy person...so though I have almost no control when it comes to that sort of thing...I don't worry about it. I'd probably be better off if I did have 100 rolls of toilet paper, but what the heck.

I call this storage building "The Rust Palace." It is just the tip of the ice berg.

When I started dating my DH in 1992 he flat out told me his mother was one. We took her out to dinner for Mother's Day, and he'd go into her place alone every other week or so. He said he didn't want me to see it. So, I never pushed the idea. I didn't care to see it anyway. Twice, he and his sister cleaned (kinda) her place. His sister came from Phoenix to help. So she could at least walk in there. Cleaned up the dishes, threw away empty cat food cans, and I don't know what all. Then her sugars got out of control, because she wasn't caring for herself properly, and she went into a nursing home. Best thing to ever happen. They cleaned it up again (2nd time) took personal mementos, and stuff worth saving, and sold the place. We took her cat Smokey. That was her main worry.
Leslie

Thanks for all your stories. I've always felt that it's a syndrome that is a lot more common than most people realize. Would love to visit your Rusty Palace, Marilyn! LOL You know how they quote Thomas Edison on the Trash to Treasure forum: "To invent you need a good imagination and a pile of junk." LOL I fully subscribe to that theory but I don't want to live with piles of stuff. (For that reason I keep it in my old falling down shed! LOL)

Nope, I don't think it's merely storing 100 rolls of toilet paper, etc. I think it's keeping every scrap of paper that comes through your house, etc. It's paths or trails through your house, etc. It's having just room for you to sit in your car and drive because the rest of it is piled to the roof, etc.

I know that I love STUFF and I periodically try to clear out for that very reason. I'm one of these that takes it by spells. One day I will look around and then go, "Okay, today's the day!!" LOL

My mom was the most organized and efficient person but she had this thing about cardboard boxes!

Wow, I'm feeling much better realizing I just have a sight overage of 'stuff' and just need to finish with the decluttering and then keep it that way.

You folks have described one of my best friends. She is elderly, and had paths through her house. Like others, you had to unload a place, if you wanted to sit down. She was constantly saying she wanted to get rid of 'this stuff' and asked if I would help her.
I was skeptical and found out when it got right down to it, that she did not want to let go of much of anything. She always did however let me take off her many recycles, if I was sure to leave her plenty of glass jars, and butter bowls for food storage. I never tried much to get her to part with anything else. It was useless. One of her few closets was filled with boxes and boxes of Early American Home magazines. When I suggested maybe donating them to the Friends of the Library for fundraising, her reply was that she wanted to look at them first. I knew then that those boxes would still be taking up storage space in that closet when she was long gone.

Recently this friend (friend early stage Alz) was moved into an assisted living studio apartment. Her DS and his wife set it up, decorating it tastefully and minimally. I notice each time I visit, that it is looking a bit more and more like the house she left behind. Maybe someday it will finally be so cluttered up she will truly feel at home there.

This has been a wonderful thread.

Sue

Whoa, just reading this thread made me want to go sort through a cupboard or a drawer. I would have more of a tendency to be compulsive about getting rid of things.
It is amazing how common hoarding seems to be. I had associated some of this behavior with folks who had lived through the Great Depression, but it certainly seems more common than that.

Spicey, I was reading an article online about it last night and one statement was surprising to me. Studies show that there is a difference in the way that insulin is used by the bodies of people who have a tendency toward hoarding. It is definitely a type of chemical imbalance like depression, OCD, etc.

I have enough of that to make me interested in reading about hoarding! LOL

des arc ya ya - My friend's car is like that! (She of the no a/c or working plumbing). Big old Lincoln Continental, and there was one instance where she couldn't even give one of us a lift to our car when we were out somewhere. She's mentioned they own a second home - it was her mother's that she'd inherited, and she won't even let any of us know where it is, here in town - I think it's piled to the ceiling with stuff as well.
I'd be interested in reading about the insulin effect - for some reason I too am kinda interested in this phenomenon. I know it's got to be an imbalance of some kind.

i have "clutter" but NOTHING like the brit bbc america show, how clean is your house? often the purging and cleaning makes an awesome change in the people...especially when the one lady shows the existing germs they have...

had an aunt, while you could walk around her home, when my uncle passed and she had to leave the house they were in, mother and other aunts found clean alum tin containers, newspaper, etc, all stacked in the basement...they tossd it all...when she passed few years ago, her ds's found again tons of things...and they are still clearing out boxes from a storage bin THEY rented! what goes around...

I have been avoiding reading this thread because I kept saying to myself: "What the heck is a Hoarder?!?"

I've been lazy to look up the word. You all got me reaching for the dictionary finally! LOL... This is also an "English as a 2nd language" forum!

Just wanna share this =) Instead of... admiting I'm one too, well... sort of ;o)

The first time I met a true hoarder, I don't know how I kept a straight face, and didn't allow my jaw to drop. I'd never before experienced floor to ceiling 'stuff/stacks' with only small pathways to get through the house. It was that way in every room but the one daughters.....she was a neatness nut. The parents had bought a small travel trailer and slept in it. No room for them inside the house. Everyone in the house referred to the 'stuff' as 'our collections'.

Shirley

I agree with Ya Ya.I also think there's a lot of difference in OCD/hoarding and being just plain lazy.Most of the time people who live in filth are just too lazy to clean it up which sounds like what is going on with some of the people described here.My x-DIL was/is that way.She let the dogs and cats poop and pee in the house and never cleaned it up,and dishes,laundry and anything else was piled everywhere and the only reason was laziness.There's a big difference! My mother saved used margarine and cool whip containers,
foil,etc. but it was all washed and clean.She saved things because she thought she might use them again or that someone else might need it.She just couldn't bear to throw something away that might be usable.Big difference in that and someone who is just too lazy to pick something up and throw it in the trash.
Marilyn-I would like to visit your rusty room too! At least it is neat and organized.
This has been an interesting thread.

My mom!! She is bad about saving stuff, but at least it's useful stuff and not used Kleenex, trash or cat food cans etc. Her house looks fine, no paths, but the closets are stuffed, and we joke that a small family could live in her basement if they had a can opener!!

I've always heard that just cleaning a Hoarders house for them won't do any good, they'll just go back to their old ways, unless they do the work themselves! But when I go to her house I do try and take stuff out a little at a time to help us (I worry about getting the mess when she passes) esp expired things that are unsafe.

Last year I tried to help her by getting some shelves for the basement and grouped all the paper products (TP, Kleenex etc) canned/boxed food and cleaning supplies. Before it was scattered all over. I thought maybe if she saw how much there was it might help-Nope-not really!

Recently, I took a few rolls of scrap gift wrap that she had saved from old packages. Some of the pieces were decent, some were so tiny and not worth saving! My favorite was the roll that had a design in orange, brown and purple-what decade is that from???

I'm not sure if my mom's problem is hoarding or frugalness or laziness? I point stuff out to her, like a TV cable for a tv we don't even own anymore and she says she'll throw it out, but next time it's still there in the same place. She does go through stuff once in a while and throw it out or donate to a charity, but she buys twice as much to replace! I really worry about her eating a food or taking a medicine that is a few YEARS out of date!!

That being said, I see a little of myself in her-I can't resist after Christmas sales of cards, wrapping paper and toys being 75% or 90% off, but I try my darndest to use it all up the next year-and it feels good to use it all up and throw out the packaging! My DH just hates storing it all year round, so I hide some!! That should probably signal a problem?? lol

I completely agree it's a fascinating problem!

I just thought of something that I really do hoard. Towels. I counted my towels awhile back, and I had 80. I gave big stacks to my daughter and my best friend. However, in my whole life, I have never bought a new towel. I got a bunch when I got married over 40 years ago. Then got some as other gifts. I used to buy those bath sheets...the humongus towels...when I used to go to Goodwill. Back then you could get them for 1.98.

When my daughter went away to college, I picked out the best towels I had, and sent them with her.

When I started rehabbing wildlife, I would go to the shelter to pick up animals and food and they would say..."Do you need some towels?" People donate them and they don't need
them all, so they would send them home with me. Usually they were nicer than the ones I was using for myself...and they really aren't good for possums to bed on, so I would keep them.

I never throw towels away unless they are total rags. And I just sent another stack of nice towels, plus some for cleaning rags, to my daughter last week. And, I bet I still have close to 80.