Well it looks like this it the finally list: TODAY'S UPDATE and FINAL LIST OF MEMBERS: 01. ncgardengirl-Fran***** 02. medontdo-Michele 03. markcase1964-Mark***** 04. lgslgs-Lynda 05. misskimmie-Kim 06. conniesc-Connie***** 07. heatherbon-Heather 08. dirtdiggin-Toni***** 09. gardeningbingo 10. grolikecrazy-Chris***** 11. douglasls-Lisa 12. beverlysc-Bev 13. aphroditelaughs-Ellie 14. sissifriss-Myriah***** 15. chellflower-Chell***** 16. mary_grether-Mary 17. poisondartfrog-Alana***** 18. grovespirit-Iris 19. lindaruzicka-Linda***** 20. angelady-Angela***** 21. dimples31312-Dorothy 22. strmywthr3-Barbi 23. smokymist-Cheryl***** 24. jas_il-Jasmine 25. kristlindgren-Kris 26. ishareflowers-Lisa***** 27. purpleacres-Tracy***** 28. countrygirl_sc-Gail 29. fleethart-Fleety 30. hmacdona-Heather***** 31. echinaceamaniac-Clint 32. lakedallasmary-Mary 33. diana_lynn-Diana Lynn 34. smitties 35. ashle999 36. yotetrapper***** 37. mcbdz-Pattie 38. graanieb-Bea 39. sassybutterfly_2008-Wendy***** 40. threeshyacres-Jodi***** 41. blue_ivy-Tola 42. ibartoo-Linda 43. jaleeisa-Kathy***** 44. molanic-Molanic 45. rane_grow-Iris 46.gardenmom2-Nichol 47. southerncharm1-Kathy SC1 48. kilngod-Tina***** 49. luvgardening2-Nancy***** 50. rbrady-Rhonda***** 51. dessieb-Dessie I will be emailing out my address shortly IF you do not have an email from me PLEASE make sure you email me for my address. Thanks so much I am sure we all are going to enjoy this swap. :) Fran

The situation has deteriorated now to the point that she cannot manage herself. A month ago she called her cousin, complaining of urinary burning. Granny got upset with the cousin when she called my mother. Mom took her to a new doctor (the regular was out of the office), who immediately saw the situation. Mom kept her at their home for two weeks, got the infection cleared and granny in better condition with proper meals. It was an ordeal. She has lost all concept of time, after one night she insisted she had been there for days. Now we have a "sitter" coming Mon-Fri morning to make sure morning meds are taken properly, breakfast, lunch, and prepare an afternoon snack and a supper plate. I stop by at 1:30 PM to confer and check what business I may need to handle, the sitter leaves and I stay for an hour or two. I call to check that she ate the snack, then again on the supper plate. I go there 2 hrs after supper to check her glucose level and get a bedtime snack. Occasionally it works. More typically it does not. I'll call, she'll tell me she ate the snack, or had the supper. When I get there, I find the supper plate untouched. One evening she hid it in the crisper drawer, I didn't see it, reasonably thought she had supper. The sitter found it the next day. Today the sitter couldn't come, was down with a virus. So I went at 8:30 AM (which is tricky when I go to bed at 4 AM after working a night job). The morning went reasonably well. I left her alone for a couple hrs to make lunch at my house (I live about just up the road). Called to remind her I'm bringing lunch in a few mins, she had already gotten into something else, but couldn't tell me what on the phone. I told her not to eat it, leave it out so I can see what it was. I got there, nothing to be found, she claimed it was a snack cup of gelatin/peaches. We got through that OK, she ate the lunch. I prepared an afternoon snack, and a supper plate (same thing as was the lunch, small salad, one chicken tender, about 1/2 cup green beans). I called at 3:40 to check on the snack, no answer. I figured she was doing a bit of yard work. Called again 30 mins later, she claims she had been napping (which she *should* have heard the phone) and had eaten the snack. I reminded her again to eat supper at the proper time so I can check her blood at 8 PM. I called at 6:40 to check. She said she ate the supper (Did you spray on salad dressing? Yes. How was the chicken? It was good.) When I get there to do the nightly blood check and bedtime snack, I found the supper plate, again untouched. She insisted she had eaten a chicken plate, that there were two in the refrigerator. Not possible. Only thing I can figure is she was remembering the LUNCH plate and confused it as having eaten supper. Unfortunately, she got upset, I got upset, and it was a bad scene. I should have GONE there to check on supper, not just called. Her glucose level was low, 89. She refused to have an evening snack, stating that she'd rather die. Crying and absolutely unreasonable. Jump the lake (her term for suicide), throw all the pills away. I left. The sitter is not coming again today, doesn't want to take a chance with the virus. I told granny she'll have to come to my house for the afternoon so I can "make sure she follows the schedule." She said nobody is taking her out of her house. I asked her if I should come or not. She answered that she isn't forcing me to come there. I tried leaving her be last weekend, after a blow-up on Friday evening. The sitter had meals prepared for lunch & supper on Sat & Sun. She called me Sun morn, sobbing that I'm mad at her since I hadn't been there. She had eaten three of the plates, who knows what else and on what schedule. Her glucose was wonky, she was confused on numerous points and details. I'm ashamed to say that I'm at the point that I feel it'd be better if she'd die. Nobody is getting any benefit from the efforts we're putting out. She's resisting with all her might, we're fighting back, and everybody is exhausted. It has been suggested to let her do and eat what she wants. Sounds easy, but the "end" isn't guaranteed so graceful and grand as she believes it'll be. What happens when she has another stroke that results in paralysis or blindness or a complete vegetative state? Who'll take care of her then?

Al, I think your heart is in the right place but believe me, people just like what they like, especially in their 80s. DH loves junk food and quickly loses his appetite when I fix "healthy" food I like. His closest friend always ate HEALTHY and used to tell DH that he would like healthy foods if he just would try them more. Well, a couple of years ago we buried him, he was the healthiest eater in his family and the youngest one to die. He always thought he would live the longest and surprisingly, he was the youngest to die in the family. For those in our family celebrating a birthday, we let them choose what kind of food they want or restaurant they want to go to and that's OK with us as it's their choice. DH hs increased the number of healthy foods he will eat but they still don't take first place. I've stopped trying to influence food choices for others, like DH, especially elders, because I think eating should be a stress-free experience. Good luck, I love lentil soup but its something I always eat alone and fix something else for DH for those meals. Hot biscuits are a favorite of his but it's something I prefer to bypass, unless they're Red Lobster cheese biscuits, LOL! Well, we never go there as fish is on his never-feed- me-this list.

I just copied and sent this to everyone I could think of...This has to be one of the funniest things I've read in a long time. (as I sit here by the window watching the snow)...But you won't find me out there with a shovel, my hands just don't seem to "fit the handle"...... Thanks for sharing a good laugh, Dorothy