I think you've got the makings for another book. (Already love the one I've read of yours as well as your blog(s)

That is tooo funny. He sounds like he's still spunky! I think I love your dad. I can just see him going down the road on that thing.

LOL That's great. The story that is. I'm sure it's quite frustrating to you. But say what you want, being 91 and having the "drive" he does suggests we all should grab a smoke, deep fry something, get a bowl of ice cream and chase it with a screwdriver while making a date for the night. And just maybe that pedestrian *did* have it coming! Maybe it'll teach that virtual pedestrian a virtual lesson! :)

I'm just wondering if he had it planned out for the battery to die before they got to the store.... couldn't use ran out of gas for the excuse after all.

Curious they let him leave the assisted living. The ones my aunts are in are adamant about keeping everyone in-house. I imagine they're scared of liability to the residents and to what they might do outside.

I vaguely remember the Caddy incident if it was yours, was this where he was hiding keys or something and you had to disable the car and he got around that too? I have to go look up the past issues here. I've missed a lot apparently!

Good luck to you all, and I hope he's safe, healthy and happy for a long long time.

Yeah, it took an incredible amount of effort to get him of the road. He refused to stop for stop signs, saying they were an egregious violation of his constitutional rights and "That's not why I fought in the war..."

Despite the revoked license, he refused to stop driving.

In the end, I went to his house in the dark of night and removed the license plates from his three cars and buried them behind the azalea bushes in his front yard.

My lawyer-husband said that was the wisest course, because I could not get arrested for theft (for stealing plates) if the stolen item remained on the premises.

Even with the license plates gone, he continued to drive. So then I took a big black marker and wrote, "Unlicensed driver. Call 911" in the rectangle where the plates once rested.

And even then, it took two weeks for him to get caught.

You don't know the meaning of adventure until you're surreptitiously removing license plates in the dark and then burying them under an azalea bush, hoping and praying that when the cops arrive, they'll not fasten those handcuffs too tight around your 51-year-old wrists.

When I left my house that night - to do the license plate removal - my step-daughter pressed a business card into my hand. It was a card for a 24-hour bail bondsman. She whispered, "You might need this."

Oh, I'm laughing here, all by myself!

Rosemary, you have such a picturesque way with words!
I can visualize all of this.

Was you dad always so fiesty and outspoken before his stroke, or is this completely unlike him?

His days are never boring.....for him or for you.

I'm sorry for making light of this, it's gotta be hard on you. Good for you for knowing to buy the plates on his property. I would *never* have thought of that.

Good luck to you and him. I fear you're going to have more busy days coming.

We obviously live in different states! Glad you got away with it though. Here it's often the intent will make the crime. For instance, you used to have to exit a store before you could be accused of shoplifting, but not anymore and actually to hide something might not get you a theft charge, it'd still probably be a vandalism, malicious mischief or similar charge, possibly a theft or some other charge possible, but with the extenuating circumstances, I know I'd never convict you if *I* were on your jury! :D

I didn't have quite as lively experiences as you but I sure appreciate the situation you're in. Years ago now, my dad had car trouble one time and was only able to get his car to about 30 mph on the freeway. (Had a plugged catalytic converter.) Instead of getting off the freeway and coming to my house, or calling someone he stayed on the freeway determined to just drive home and with the camera system they watched him and sent a squad. The highway patrol was a hotdog and put in for an examination order and *he* recommended no night driving and some other limitations to his license and from there, things just snowballed. I tried to handle some of the things and had a PI buddy check it out but technically the HP did everything legally, though they agreed that ethically/morally it was questionable. So my dad had to go in for a driver's interview and during the interview my dad is carrying on about how he drove ambulance in the War and drove the CO's Jeep, etc and the examiner goes, But that was 50 years ago! And the day he went in was a snowstorm, he was late getting there because he got lost (didn't know where he was going) and was so flustered that he couldn't remember where he parked his car when he was going to leave! After that, they wouldn't let him drive home so they called my sister to pick him up. I went with so we could take his car home. As soon as we walked in he yells at the top of his lungs CAN YOU IMAGINE THAT???? TELLING ME I CAN'T DRIVE MY OWN CAR!!!! I tried to tell him to shut up or he could well lose his license. What do you suppose happened? Well he then got an order to come in for a road test, which he failed, not just once but 3 (or was it 4?) times, then decided the world is out to get him so he's not taking the test any more. The silly part is that he was failing the parallel parking and since he was handicapped, he never parallel parked anyway and I tried to tell him to just not do it. Start the attempt and just stop. At worst, he's lose 5 points (3 for procedure and 2 for proficiency) and if he was careful they might even give him the procedure points but once he knocked over the poles it was considered an accident and an automatic failure. Stubborn? Just a little... He was at the point he could have asked to have parallel parking waived, but his temper took over. Then got caught driving without the license! Sheesh. With that is a mandatory court appearance and he basically went in with a chip on his shoulder figuring "put me in jail" or something. He wouldn't hire a lawyer, was so hard of hearing anyway and didn't shave for a week or change clothes. Looked like a bum off the street. They started the hearing and the judge stopped it and said "you need a lawyer", he said he wasn't going to get one, so they appointed a (totally incompetent) public defender who essentially plea bargained for jail time and a fine for him. The judge went wait a minute and said let's clear this up now. Asked my dad if he had his license with him, he did, asked if he'd give it to him, he did, then the judge said, Will you let me keep this if I dismiss everything against you? Surprisingly he agreed to it. Now he never said he wouldn't drive again.... Oh well, after that is another even longer story but it is an interesting life at times, isn't it?

I think you should get your dad a t-shirt "I'm a little rascal on my Little Rascal"

I agree with cynic - I was going to suggest that it looked as though there was a Big Rascal on a Little Rascal.

Sorry that you're having such a hard time, Rosemary ...

... but you sure do tell a good story!

ole joyful

But put an X on the little and then write Walmart above the Rascal.

Sending good thoughts your way! We had a time with my Granddaddy D. and now with Granddaddy T. Both grandmothers gave driving up pretty easily but they are also from that generation where women were usually driven by husbands.

You and cynic should BOTH write your stories. If for no other reason as a therapeutic release for ya'll and a reminder to everyone one else that they are not alone.

Oh my gosh, I hate to say this is funny because it's real life, but you certainly have a humorous way of telling us about your Dad. I'm impressed that he's still kicking after the way he's lived (the smoking, drinking, bad diet, etc). He sounds like a character.

LOL, oh my gosh! What a character indeed! I get this mental picture of Frank Barone (the dad from "Everybody Loves Raymond") played by Peter Boyle and the crazy escapades he involved himself in. : D Prayers for you, Rosemary!!!

Blessings,
Haley

Oh goodness, I don't think I have ever laughed so hard. I know that it really is not funny and that you are certainly having a time of it, but the manner in which you relate the story is just priceless. And Cynic with the battery dying, that just did me in. I can just see it as he throws his arm around the ladies shoulder with a leer on his face... Oh my!

Bless your heart, you are really dealing with a daring man. Makes me wonder what you might be like at his age! They say the apple does not fall far from the tree!

Trish

Gee Whiz--you have observing some of the senior citizens in the midwest!!! Especially in the smaller towns. Saw one today, driving slow (very slow), quite "old" with dark sun glasses like you get after you have your eyes examined and with big white handerchief held with one hand over her mount (face). Oh yes, very white bushy hair. LOL