We have an inborn natural reaction to snakes, but like some of the posters said above it is a good idea to let the non poisonous snakes live. I know the big chicken/rat snakes look especially scary, but they will repay you for letting them live by keeping the mice and rats under control. Rats are everywhere -- even in the 'nicest' neighborhoods and we could use a little help from the 'real experts' at catching them. From what I've read on the internet copperheads are non aggressive. I knew a family with kids that lived with them out in the woods (lots of them) and were never bothered. However, I'm not saying I wouldn't kill one if it was in my yard if for no other reason then to keep my dog from being bit. We had a dog bitten on the nose. He was uncomfortable, but he recovered in a few days. The coral snakes are especially non agressive and couldn't bite you if they tried. Their little tiny fangs are way back in their mouth and the only bite I could find ever recorded was of a lab technician that stuck his little finger down ones throat. Why he did that I don't know, but even then so little venon was released his finger became swollen and that was it. I stepped on a coral snake barefoot in my back yard and he didn't even try to bite. That's when I did the research. They are so docile children have been known to carry them around and play with them with no harm. I see them occasionally, but just let them live. Too bad that little 'red and yellow kill a fellow' rhyme got started, because they don't. It's good to be aware -- of both the hazards AND THE HELPS that snakes present. Happy gardening everyone!

Thanks for all your hard work Karen! Can't wait to read it in its entirety. Jodi-

Two years ago I had four cats, now 2. Two died in past 2 years from cancer both between 10-11. One last year and the recent one. The last one was hard as well. She died of vaccine associated fibrosarcoma. A very bad cancer that some cats appear to develop from injections. I tried getting her treatment, but the oncologist really indicated not much hope and treatments would severely impact quality of life. So I waited until tumors were bad and she looked sad and I put her down. Go figure, my cat died in that case from the vaccines I thought were to keep her healthy. I kind of expected people to say my recent cat's death was my fault as well. He lived with smoker for just under a year as I quit about 8-10 months after I got him and when I started again I never smoked inside. He did go on porch, but not so much when I smoked. He liked to lay out there and I just assumed 10 windows in 12 x12room was well ventilated. He was the only one of my cats who went out there cause he loved porch and back yard. I do not know where he lived first year either as I adopted him. So, if what I did to him didn't cause it, it definitely did not help. What I wonder is lung cancer in cats in urban areas is much higher too. I was kind of curious if anyone had thoughts on that one. It puzzled me. Maybe cause cats usually are just indoor? He was indoor only cat except when he went out on harness in spring and summer. My friend also said I should test my house for radon as cigarettes is horrible and radon is bad, but together the chances of lung cancer go through the roof at least for people. Now I am a little freaked about that one. Like you said though. Live and learn. I need to quit smoking for myself. None of my other pets have been around smoke in 8+ years, so I hope they are all ok. With 4 senior pets still in my house, I just hope I do not kill anymore. Cause 2 in 2 years is enough.

I personally have to say that when I lost my cat, i got a new cat too soon. I ended up feeling disloyal to my old cat, and resenting the new kitten because she was playful and in the way unlike the old, grownup cat. It DIDN'T help me with the loss--it emphasized it, because the new kitten so clearly showed she could never replace the old cat. Give your boy an extra-long hug from me. I'm sure you're letting him know that it's OK to be sad, even really really sad. in a way it's a tribute to Bobcat, that he is mourned so deeply. I hope the memorial service helped--rituals serve a valuable function. One thing I think about stuff like this is that you should wallow in it when the feelings rise, instead of pushing them away or trying to deny them. It's right to feel sad when you miss Bobcat when you come home. And I'd vote for talking about it right then--"remember when...." Those conversations are so incredibly healing. My sympathies and a big hug to you, too, my friend! (FYI, to all, Momma Bird's name isn't Tia--the "TIA" at the end of her post stood for "thanks in advance.")