They may be too close to the truth, but they're still funny, especially the ones about hearing loss. (Written by someone whose DH drives her CRAZY b/c he has a hearing problem but won't use a hearing aid. You'd be amazed at some of the things he thinks he hears me say! :>)

The real meaning of plant catalog terminology: "A favorite of birds" means to avoid planting near cars, sidewalks, or clotheslines. "Grows more beautiful each year" means "Looks like roadkill for the foreseeable future." "Zone 5 with protection" is a variation on the phrase "Russian roulette." "May require support" means your daughter's engineering degree will finally pay off. "Moisture-loving" plants are ideal for landscaping all your bogs and swamps. "Carefree" refers more to the plant's attitude than to your workload. "Vigorous" is code for "has a Napoleonic compulsion to take over the world." "Grandma's Favorite" -- until she discovered free-flowering, disease-resistant hybrids.

I have taken to running all scraps through an old food processor, freezing, thawing, and then feeding. I have an old ice cream bucket with a lid I keep in the kitchen where I put the store leftovers and scraps. When I get ready to feed the worms I grind everything up in an old Black & Decker food processor (it's pretty big). I'll add cut up napkins, papertowels, coffee grinds, etc. to the goo. I dump it back into the bucket, freeze it over night, put the bucket outside to thaw, and feed the worms when I get home from work. I dig out a corner and dump a large scoop, cover with castings/bedding in the bin and move to the next corner and repeat until all four corners are "fed". I cut a piece of thin cardboard to cover the bin and let the worms go to town. Within a few days the food is 100% gone. Each time I find huge globs of worms in each corner still working over the area. Lately I've been feeding cucumbers out of my garden that have turned a bit before I could use them otherwise. Since I started freezing, the fruit fly population has really dropped, not totally gone, but noticeably dropped.

Hi Lpink. This recipe was posted by riverrat and I've made it - it's fabulous. I was wondering if you could use the frosting from it? It has kind of the same flavors you're talking about. Stacy LEMON BUTTERMILK CAKE WITH STRAWBERRIES Âriverrat Serve this dense, moist cake with a big bowl of lightly sweetened strawberries. CAKE 1 3/4 cups sugar 3/4 cup (1 1/2 sticks) unsalted butter, room temperature 2 tablespoons grated lemon peel 3 extra-large eggs 1/4 cup fresh lemon juice 3 cups cake flour 1 teaspoon baking soda 1/4 teaspoon salt 1 1/2 cups buttermilk 1 16-ounce package frozen sliced sweetened strawberries, thawed FROSTING 12 ounces cream cheese, room temperature 1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, room temperature 2 cups powdered sugar 5 tablespoons frozen lemonade concentrate, thawed 1/2 teaspoon finely grated lemon peel 2 1-pint baskets strawberries, hulled. FOR CAKE: Position rack in center of oven and preheat to 350°F. Butter and flour three 9-inch-diameter cake pans with 1 1/2-inch-high sides. Beat sugar, butter and lemon peel in large bowl until light and fluffy. Add eggs 1 at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in lemon juice. Sift flour, baking soda and salt into medium bowl. Stir dry ingredients into butter mixture alternately with buttermilk, beginning and ending with dry ingredients. Divide batter among prepared pans. Bake until tester inserted into center of cakes comes out clean, about 30 minutes. Transfer pans to racks and cool 15 minutes. Turn out cakes onto racks and cool completely. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Wrap tightly in plastic and store at room temperature.) Boil sliced sweetened strawberries with juices in heavy small saucepan over medium-high heat until mixture is reduced to 2/3 cup and begins to thicken, stirring frequently, about 20 minutes. Cool to room temperature. FOR FROSTING: Beat cream cheese and butter in large bowl until light and fluffy. Gradually add powdered sugar and beat until smooth. Beat in lemonade concentrate and lemon peel. Divide strawberry mixture between 2 cake layers and spread over tops, leaving 1/2-inch border around edges. Let stand until slightly set, about 5 minutes. Place 1 strawberry-topped layer on platter. Drop 3/4 cup frosting atop cake by spoonfuls; gently spread over top. Top with remaining strawberry-topped layer. Drop 3/4 cup frosting by spoonfuls atop cake; gently spread over top. Top with remaining cake layer. Using spatula, spread remaining frosting in decorative swirls over sides and top of cake. (Can be prepared 1 day ahead. Cover with cake dome and chill. Let cake stand at room temperature 1 hour before continuing.) Decoratively arrange strawberries, pointed side up, atop cake. Cut into wedges and serve. Serves 12. Bon Appétit June 1995 Jeanne Thiel Kelley: Los Angeles, California