If your car is one month old....that is a good thing. It is under warranty and the dealership will have to fix it.

I'm sorry for your anxiety. I have anxiety too, and some of the things I have anxiety over are some of the most common things for other people. For example, I have no fear of any animal or snake or spider or creature. I live with poisonous snakes all around me. However, I have anxiety about dealing with other people. I would rather go sit beside a poisonous snake than make a phone call. How silly is that? The way I cope with that is just to talk sternly to myself and tell me that I just need to do it and get it out of the way. So, I do it, and then I feel like an idiot for dreading something so small.

I'd just say, talk to yourself sensibly about it. Give yourself some time...don't jump to take a pill. You will probably feel better tomorrow. That is what I always tell myself...."tomorrow, I will feel better." And usually, I do.

Also, count your blessings. You could have an old car with a problem and have to pay for this out of your pocket. Counting my blessings is another way I deal with things I am
anxious about.

Good luck to you. Hope you feel better tomorrow.

Your first step to come to the forum is a good one.

Take deep breath, anylize situations and keep in mind, (it would also help to play it over and over again in your head), that problems are only here temporary.

Think about it, the worst thing can happen to someone is when death is involved. You have lost your husband 7 yrs. ago and by now, the pain has subsided some, right? It may not be totally gone but your life is at a more manageable level, right? Well... of course, up until now.

Take a deep breath and analyze the situation: Your new car should still be under warranty, so if you brought your car to the dealer, it should be fixed with no extra cost. You may be out of transportation but it's only temporary.

Contact with the shop that your car is at now and ask if they would pay car rental while your car is in the shop. If not, contact with your auto insurance and see if they'd do the same. Many of these do to keep their customers.

Once you have transportation, you will feel more at ease.

As for your car having trouble only after 1 month, do not think that perhaps you made a bad choice when purchasing the car. In any assembly line, there's bound to have an error and an item would have a hiccup now and then. A car is made from so many parts and came from so many different manufacturers that it is not easy for an auto manufacturer to avoid hiccups.

Since your car is still under warranty, you should be fine financially. Soon, you will be back to your daily routine.

Take another deep breath and watch a funny movie or TV program. Let your mind take a break from your troubles while you're waiting for the car to be fixed.

Surround yourself with friends, family and/or things that pleases you. Basically, spoil yourself! Taking a good bubble bath sometimes help too.

Soon, this problem will passes by...

Smile!!! We can see you!!! =)

I get anxiety also and have learned to deal with it without medications. Breathing techniques have helped the most. I tend to get it alot when I'm in a car, especially on the freeway, so I just clothes my eyes and concentrate on breathing. It usually only takes a few minutes to feel better. The sooner I notice the anxiety coming on the better the outcome. I also tend to make sure I can "escape" certain situations (crowded places like movies or concerts, I sit near the end of the row). Just knowing that I can remove myself easily and go outside for fresh air makes me feel better.

Meditation helps also. You can find info about the breathing and meditation online. Might sound corny, but it really works well for me.

EEEEKKK! Jennmonkey, please don't close your eyes while driving on the freeway! Perrrrdy-PLLLLEEEAAASE!

ROFL!!!

Satine - I can't say I've ever had much trouble with anxiety, but have had times in my life where I've dealt with very high stress-situations (mother of a mentally-ill child, for one), and two things I say to myself when things seem out-of-control, or overwhelming, or stressful, are:
1) What's the worst thing that can happen from this situation, and what can I do about it?
2) In 24 hours, this will seem much less important, or stressful, or unmanageable. Seems to work for me - hugs to you!!

I am an anxiety prone person myself. Sounds like you are still adjusting to the loss of your husband. Don't worry about the car, a year from now it won't be important. The dealer should be able to fix routine things. My state has a "lemon law" regarding the purchase of a new car. If it has recurring problems, I think something like 4 repairs within the first six months, the buyer has the right to return the casr and get a full refund. Call your local mechanic and ask them what to do.

If you are a panic-attacker, "squared breathing" might help. Breathe in to the count of two. Hold it in for the count of two. Breathe out to the count of two, then hold it out for the count of two. Continue, doing this slowly but comfortably until the panicky feeling goes away. It works by forcing your heartbeat to regulate and slow down. This is supposed to have a ripple effect and avert the rest of the symptoms (sweating, feeling sick, etc.). It did work for me.

I have "generalized anxiety" which means I start my day with a higher level of anxiety than most people. Small things that wouldn't be a blip on somebody else's screen are enough to raise my level, so it doesn't take much before it is at an uncomfortable level and causing symptoms. Even with regular behaviour modification therapy, I have found that I need mood-levelling medication to help me. That way my anxiety level starts at the bottom where it SHOULD be and doesn't overflow as easily ;).

I hope you find something that works for you.

I have had some severe anxiety issues since 1990. It began when my hero, my dad died. I just felt like I was under the worlds microscope being watched alot of the time. I didn't trust my decisions, and more so didn't want or trust anybody helping me. I was also divorced and living by myself at the time. The only way I could cope was to take Xanax. Nothing else worked for me once I was in an anxiety situation. I still have really bad attacks, but they are far and fewer in between. I hate them just the same. Worst cases for me were having to leave the store, after being rung up for a load of groceries, but I was unable to write the check. I was shaking too hard. I also have had to turn around on my way to work and go home where I felt safe. It is horrible sometimes.
I have tried the breathing, and mind over matter, but they make me panic more. I am not sure why.
My thinking....if medication works, take it only when you need it, and be grateful that there is something that works.
Feel free to email me if you want to talk!

Trin

I'm going through a pretty stressful time right now myself. I understand the "tape recorder" thing completely. It seems like I haven't sleep for days even though I know I have.

For me writing lists and journalizing helps. The list helps me to prioritize and put things in perspective. It also feels good to see things crossed out as they're done. A sense of accomplishment helps a lot even when it is just something small. Feeling empowered helps one feel less anxious about the things they can't control. The journal lets me think things through and sometimes find a different approach to finding solutions. Remember for every negative, there is a positive.

Take time out for yourself each day to do something you enjoy. Treat yourself well and life will too.

Lastly if you read here you will see that no matter what life hits you with there is always someone dealing with worse. Like Marilyn said, "count your blessings."

Good luck to you and keep coming here.

since Jen lives in the Seattle Area..she's not driving much on the freeway..lol..she's parked on it! tee hee

Okay..I have a little anxiety/fear thing myself..and no matter how many times I tell myself how stupid it is..it takes ALOT to get through it when I have to.

I agree about the car. It's under warranty, and if it's a realitively new "model" of car, they often don't have all the bugs worked out by the time they put them down the line and to the dealerships. But often they don't realize the bug exisits until they've been driving and used.
Most of the time it's just a quick recall, and visit to the dealership.. Lemons aren't really that common.

Ditto Jennmonkey (except for the freeway part . . . I'm in rural Pennsylvania). I also recommend progressive relaxation using CDs or tapes. At first your mind flies all over the place, but with practice it will calm down.

If certain thoughts make you anxious, here's a technique I used a long time ago when I was in a difficult situation that gave me an irregular heartbeat whenever I thought about it. Prepare in advance by selecting a scenario to think about . . . something completely benign that triggers no emotional response whatsoever. One of the ones I chose was dusting the stairs. When the anxiety-producing thoughts popped into my head, I would think immediately about those dusty stairs. I would get into the corners with my cloth, starting at the top and working my way down. It did wonders for me. Really. I hope it helps you.

satine-- your situation sounds very much like a relative of mine. She has social anxiety (in certain situations,) and a mild form of ocd. For her, the biggest help came in the form of behavioral therapy which is covered by her insurance. She saw the therapist for awhile, then was comfortable enough to join a group of similar people set up by the therapist. The "tape recorder" thing is typical of mild ocd and it can be put to rest! The therapy basically involves forcing your mind into a difficult situation and working through it, with the therapist's help. It's tough at first, but she has learned why her mind does what it does and how to work through it, rather than avoid it. This has lessened the intensity and occurrence of the incidents greatly. Without the therapist's help, I don't think she would be doing as well as she is, and apart from smaller difficulties when she's facing change or a stressful period, she's doing tons better! It's a learning process and DOES work. I hope you can get some help with this if you are unable to do it on your own because it will improve your quality of life. And I hope you also know how very common these problems are; you would probably be shocked to know the numbers. (I don't have them off the top of my head.) I'm sure you must still be missing your dh terribly, so perhaps some grief counseling may help? Our church has a very helpful group but I'm sure there are many others that are non-church related if you're not comfortable with that. Please let us know how you're doing--I'm so glad you wrote because that is the first step to feeling better.

I've dealt with anxiety all my life, but it got worse after my DH had a heart attack 3 years ago (age 42). Right now I'm on a very low dose of Celexa and it's worked wonders, but I understand why you want to stay med free. I think the others have given you some great advice. I just wanted to give you some extra (((hugs))).

Sheryl

Don't feel alone. So many of us have anxiety. I have had it on and off my whole life. I just worry what if...all the time. .What if the pond gets a leak(like it once did), what if a cat gets sick? ,what if the new puppy chokes on something.?..It's built in some people's personalities and they can no more control it than an alcoholic can control his drinking. With me it's genetic. I have people on both sides of my family with anxiety and depression..some with OCD in a big way. Some things clear up with time. The OCD I had was accumulating a lot of antiques, and in the garden 100 container plants. I've stopped the collecting thing and am cutting down on the gardening. Relaxation tapes should help you without drugs.

It appears,anxiety runs in the majority of us,so you are not alone.
That alone,"might" make you feel a little better.

One thing,when you are dealing with a garage of any sort,dealership or otherwise,DO NOT let them think that you are a "stupid woman"...some tend to be that way...come across as a female in control of the situation..not having mechanical knowledge does not make you stupid,but "allowing' others to think you are,is.
Once you get this car issue tackled,and feel confidant in what you have accomplished,you will feel a lot better.

In this day and age,anything can go wrong with the lack of good common work ethics in a factory;think of it that way.
Your car is not a lemon..you made a good choice.

Something that is working for me..I have pens all over the place.
When someting is getting to me,or "replaying" in my mind,I write it down
I tend to "forget" quite easily,and can find a doc appt the next day will run thru and thru my mind,keeping me awake a lot of nites.
So,I write down whatever happens to be running thru my brain at that time,even if its' 2 a.m.
Keep us posted on your car issues...and anything else for that matter.

I believe I've inherited my anxious and impatient character and it has been a real burden. Anxiety, mental breakdowns, and heart conditions run in the family, on both sides, for generations. I haven't had these things yet but I do have to watch myself and try to keep balanced. As a perfectionist, I can fret over the tiniest detail -- something not done and crossed off my list, for example. I know it is ridiculous to do so, but knowing this doesn't stop it. On the one hand it makes me excellent at my work; on the other hand it can be crippling and doesn't make for happiness or contentment. What helps? Exercise helps tremendously to burn off steam and relieve mental pressure. Relaxing with a glass of wine in the evening--doing nothing but sitting for an hour, perhaps with a good book--also helps. Balance is the key--and I'm still practicing it.

I want to thank each and everyone of the wonderful folks here who responsed to my post. First, I picked up my car last night and hopefully the problem is solved. Won't know until I do some night driving since it is a headlight problem. Most importantly though is the feeling I got this am when I logged on and saw and read all the wonderful responses I got to my post. Of course, today things seem a better-as many of you said, things are always looking better the next day. So much wonderful advice-grief counseling (done it several times), therapist, relaxation techniques (I love the dusting the stairs one) etc. You are all such wonderful supportive people. I do feel better and I hope I can be of some help to someone here when they might need a hand. Of course I was concerned about the car but have some underlying stress. Good stress but none the less stress. DD's wedding which will be wonderful but difficult because we'll all be missing our husband/dad. Again, thank you all and of course you were right that I do feel better. Satine

I'm sooooo glad you're feeling better today, satine. And I'm glad to hear that you are open to help, if you ever feel you need it. Congratulations to your dd! Though you all will be missing your dh, I think you will be overwhelmed by the happiness of the occasion. And imo, he'll dh will be watching too!

Not while I'm driving, sillies! hahhahaha. I tend to get more anxiety when other people are driving and I'm a passenger. I am not very trusting of most others to drive as carefully as I do.

Yeah!! Glad to know that you're feeling better Satine.

Wow, I agree, great responds from everyone. I, even, feel better =)

Jenn, you can go to sleep when someone else's driving. LOL... That should relaxes you, wouldn't it? No more anxiety!

I never realized that I dealt with anxiety all my life...until I got on Lexapro. It was like I had been holding my breath since I was born, LOL! Suddenly I could exhale! Lexapro has helped my DH too with anxiety. Get thee to the doctor! :) It's not worth living with it.

Blessings,
Haley

Haley,what dosage do you and your DH take and how many a
day?

Hi Clubm,

We both take one 10 mg pill every night. :)

Blessings,
Haley