Nicki - I'm so glad you are on the list to go back to rehab. I wish the best for you and will say a prayer for you. I know it's a scary time for you but you can do it. You have a lot of people pulling for you. Good luck.

I'm glad to hear you are back on the list for rehab. you CAN do this Nicki and always remember we are here for support. I don't know what is going on with you and your sister, but I pray you come together at some point and resolve the issues. She is very worried about you.

ok this message is very long, and may sound all convoluted so bare with me ok. first off ive been where you are..i did it for 2 years..yes 2 years and 5 years probation for a dwi. trust me i woke up real darned fast. i didnt have a choice because it was court ordered. so within 2 days i made a choice..youre going to have to make it too. they arent always what we want and it aint always great. im not sure of youre circumstances but i get the gist of it i think. after 2 days i figured i could either make it hard on myself or easy. im so stubborn like you wouldnt believe, but for once i said heck id make it easy..see how it goes. i wont say it was a picnic, it was hard at times and i was in one of the worst facilities here where i live. i was never exposed to anything like i saw people go through that i did. i will tell you because i made the choice to try to get along it was 50 times easier than i expected. i made some terrific friends there that i still have to this day, and yes its definately scary, just be careful who you make friends with. its not easy but you will meet people and counselors who are truly there for you but you have to participate too. too be honest...i found out i had strengths i NEVER knew i had. i, too be honest here wouldnt want to go through it again and i dont plan on it. but if you take that first step you may be pleasantly surprised, someone may reach out to you, and you will click and end up helping each other trust me on that. major hard core young lady had a MAJOR bad life and her life was total opposite of mine, somehow we clicked..she didnt with anyone else...weve now had about 10-15 years of friendship. trust me do this for yourself...you just may be surprised about what you learn about yourself..i hate to say it but the 2 years i lived with the same women and their families and kids coming to visit was 2 of some of the best years of my life. yes its scary but if i can do it anyone can. i have faith in you! most important do not give up on yourself..YOU can do it. nobody but you. i wish you the best of luck. if ya need to chat im here.

(((Nicki))) Sending hugs and STRENGHTH!!! You CAN beat it!! Don't worry about others, ONLY about yourself!! Others will have to live with thier thoughts and deeds. I pray you will have the strength to get the help you need.

Nicki, sure it's scary. Life is scary. But I'm glad your on the list to go back. Your not the first one to chicken out. It's a big step. One of the biggest steps of your life. You must do it for yourself. Don't worry about any other problems until you get sober. Try not to put the guilt trip on your sister. I'm sure her life isn't perfect. She has a sister with a big problem. You'd be suprised how your life will improve as you work through things, and become honest. With yourself and others. And, they should go to some Ala-non meetings too, to learn how to deal with this. Good luck, and take it one day at a time.
Leslie

Oh nicki, I'm so glad that you posted. I sent you an email through you page so I don't kow if you will get it or not.

You know we care and we want you to succeed. Maybe it will be a few steps ahead and a few back, but you will get there. You'll be so happy when you do, and so will your girls.

love
ivamae

Glad to see you are seeking help Nicki. Putting you in my prayers. You can do this, hang in there!!

Nicki -- I read what your sister said, and what I got from it is that she loves you, is very worried about you and misses being your best friend.

I know you have the courage to face and overcome whatever problems come your way.

I am so sorry Nicki...I guess I shouldn't have asked about you and just waited until you were ready to post. I am really sorry. I am always thinking of you and I know you are having a rough time...and I certainly do pray for you. You can do this, I know you can. Think of what the future will be like for you and your little girls. They need you desperately and they love you so very much. You have friends here that are concerned about you, along with your sister. I know you are hurt by what she has said, but I am sure she is trying to help you through all of it...even though you don't see or talk to each other on a daily basis, it is obvious she cares about you and loves you and wants to see you well. Hang in there Nicki...and I have always told you I have a shoulder for you. (((Nicki)))

And again...I am sorry if I opened a can of worms by asking about you.

Nicki...you are going through a real tough time. From someone who has also battled this demon, I pray you have the strength to accept the help offered to you. Dottie

Nicki please go to the doctor and ask to be referred to someone for a good mental health evaluation. Yes you may need rehab to help you stop your alcohol addiction but you may also need medical intervention to address the reason why you have such an addictive personality. You could possibly be self-medicating with alcohol and proper treatment with talk therapy and proper medication could give you a brand new life.

This is what I posted at the other site.

There are 3 sides to every story, one persons side the other persons side and the truth.

I wish the best for the whole family.

Now I will get on my soapbox. rolleyes.gif

I see an all to common thread on all these forums.

I wish ______ would go to rehab and stop drinking,stop using drugs,stop being mean...blah blah blah. If only _____blank would stop _______ he/she would be nicer or more stable or a better DH/DW/DD/DS, parent etc.

You want to know the truth? Rehab only works for a minority. Know why? Because the root of what led to the addiction or socially unacceptable behavior is not addressed. Research is showing more and more that these are not choices but compulsions driven by mental illness. It's self-medication folks and until the reason is addressed the urge to "self-medicate with alcohol,drugs etc. will continue along with the anti-social behaviors.

Rehab is a great system to get one off the juice. Mental health counseling and often medication is what is needed to keep them off and change their behaviors.

I agree with Wildchild. Go to a rehab to detox, then go to a doctor, or use one at the rehab facility and get a referral for treatment for your addictive personality. It is a mental disorder needing treatment, for many, if not most.

All of this KT cheerleading and blowing sunshine up your skirt really isn't helping you - you've had that treatment several times before on this forum. It didn't help then, and it won't help now.

Everyone here is supportive, but no one can do it for you.

Nick I just want to tell you I too have had many failures.Noone should never be judged.I wish you the very best and I pray things work out for you.I was hooked on pain meds and decided I had enough.So I feel for you.Just know I am praying for you.Hugs Judy

Thinking of you, Nicki and praying all good things for you.

Mammie

Nicki, my DH went through rehab for alcohol, 20 years ago next month. He didn't want to do it, but did "for me." If you're not value-ing (is that a word?) yourself enough, then do it for your children, who DO value you.

I'm proud of you for signing up to go back. It will take time before you're feeling like you're in charge again ... you didn't get to this stage in a day or two, so I hope you'll stick with it and get yourself back.

Nicki, We're here for you & so is Heather. She loves you & wants the old Nicki back!

Keeping you in my prayers & hoping the road back will be easier for you than you think.

God Bless you, Donna (^_^)

Nicki,

Stop talking about it and just do it. Get yourself into rehab now.
This talk about not liking one place, and waiting to get into another??...BS.
Any reputable detox/rehab center takes alcoholics 24/7/365. If they don't have a bed...they will find a place for you.

Talking about is just looking for sympathy.

Go now, tonight....

((((Nicki)))) I'm in your court! I'll send good thoughts your way!

Nicki, I'm not an authority on this subject, but I believe you took the first step when you chose your Screen Name:

NIX-THE-ALCOHOLIC

If that is the person you WANT to be, then give up now.

If it isn't, then NOW get back in rehab or to a Mental Health Doctor, and NIX that name.

It is up to you.

Sue

It is your decision, but I am sending hugs to give you strength to overcome the addiction you have. Only you can do it and I know you will. Yes it is tough, but hang in there. One day, one hour, one minute at a time.
You are in my prayers.