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sylviatexas1

What Do You Have Too Much Of, & Why Do You Have It?

sylviatexas1
8 years ago

The thread about china tickled a neuron somewhere in my brain.

Poster said her mother always had wanted nice china but had pieced together an assortment of nice bits from goodwill etc.

so she wants a large set of brand spanking new drop-dead gorgeous exquisite china!

China is a 'reasonable' thing to accumulate;
it's nice to have, & it's entirely useable.

What I'm wondering about is whether many of us don't have some minor obsession about accumulating something, & if, once the craving is satisfied we get over it & go to something else or if there are some things that are with us forever. or both.

(talking here about things you can save up or accumulate-I have a gardening obsession, but you can't collect gardens & put them in display cases or kitchen cabinets!)

When I was growing up, I didn't have dolls.

My mother was a narcissist/sociopath;
women like her are the worst mothers imagineable, but they're particularly bad for girls.

They're jealous of their female offspring & punish, discredit, & mistreat their daughters at every opportunity.

My mother's nuttiness extended somewhat to my brothers;
we talked once or twice about the fact that, while most parents wanted their children to have more than they had had, our mother seemed to want us to *not* have anything that she hadn't had growing up.

& she hadn't had *anything*.

When she was forced to give any of us something in the way of a gift, it was always backhanded, something we couldn't use (like the time she bought me a pink party dress when I was 6-we lived far away from town & parties, & I was the worst in the world for getting mud on stuff-still am) or something noticeably crummy.
Christmas was terrible;
the year my brothers got bicycles, I got the pink dress.
the year they got fishing rods & reels, I got a blouse.
when they got hunting rifles...I can't even remember what I got.

She never wanted me to have anything of my own or anybody or anything that loved me.

She got rid of my pets, I don't know *what* she did to my father, but he went from being happy with me to never ever speaking to me when I was very young, & she never wanted me to have dolls, so I never had dolls.

Once we visited someone, can't remember the relationship, but while the grown-ups were talking & drinking coffee, the daughter of the house played with me.

She had outgrown dolls, & she gave me 2 fashion dolls-a Roberta & a Revlon.

When we were getting ready to leave, my mother ordered me to hand those dolls back to the girl.

Although the girl kept reassuring my mother that she *wanted* me to have the dolls, my mother refused to budge.

I finally burst into tears, which really made my mother mad.

The girl's mother intervened & suggested that the daughter keep one of the dolls "so you'll have it for your own little girl some day" & give me the other one.

My mother had been out-flanked.

so when I was about 45 years old, I tried to corner the market on Revlon dolls!

I also have more old vases than *anyone* could ever use, & I don't even cut flowers for the house!

I'm sure there must be some connection in my mind between nice old vases & something good, maybe visiting my aunts, something like that.

& of course women who sew or quilt are famous for having too much fabric, & guys accumulate too many specialized tools, & Imelda Marcos had zillions of shoes.

One funny thing is that I'm "over" the dolls;
some craving got satisfied, or something.

but I still look for vases at every estate sale!

so...
what do you have too much of & why?
& are there obsessions that you got over & obsessions that have been with you forever & from which you don't expect or want to "recover"?

Comments (89)

  • nanny98
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    This is a great post and I am reminded of the other of Steve about the abusive way some people treat (ed) his nurses. We are currently learning so much about 'our brains' and how our brains evolved.... all bringing a greater understanding of how people behave. Some things just can't be helped... and I do wish I had known much of this when my own Mother was aging and how impatient and embarrassed I was about her actions/behaviors. I'm old and have no regrets about my life... but darn....I would love to be around when we make all these new discoveries and understanding of how we developed and where we go with our new-found information.

  • alisande
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    As soon as I read Jasdip's post I realized I was her sister in notepads and pens. LOL

    I love paper, and have too much of it, I suppose. Same goes for pens. When I cleaned out a desk drawer a couple of years ago, I told myself not to buy any more pens ever. But that resolve lasted only until I spotted some Pilot G-2 click gel pens in purple!

    I think like so many other things in this thread, my addiction to paper and pens stems from something in my childhood. My dad was an executive at an oil company in Manhattan, and he was also in charge of ordering office supplies for his department. Printing companies were always giving him free samples, and he'd bring them home.

    As a child, I was always drawing, and I had an endless supply of paper. These days I don't draw much, but I like to jot things down all the time. And even though I'm a fast typist, I love handwriting.

    I've always known I was lucky to have two unconditionally-loving parents. It was terrible that my mom died so young, but my affectionate dad, always ready to play a game of ball or cards, or go fishing, was just what a motherless daughter needed.

    If my childhood left me needing an excess of anything, it might be family members. I always wanted to be part of a big family. As a pre-teen, I wanted to marry an Irishman because I envisioned big Irish families always with their arms across each other's shoulders, and always singing. :-)

    But I married a WASP, and we moved away from the city where most of my extended family members lived. Here in the country, everyone seemed to be related to each other--except us. I had trouble getting pregnant for years, but eventually had three children. I tried for a fourth, but had a miscarriage at age 41.

    One reason why I love the Internet, and Facebook in particular, is that it has connected me with lots of cousins, not to mention many friends. Living alone, I find this to be a real blessing.

  • chisue
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    There is a theory that each of us has an Internal Family (of Parts) that we develop as children, as a protection against perceived dangers. I heard the author of a book on this subject speak. He's Richard Schwartz, and he had a believer in me as soon as he discussed our "Parts".

    He asked if anyone had ever responded to an invitation by thinking, "Part of me thinks this would be fun." (And another Part cautions why it might not be!) All well and good, as long as this is rational thought, but sometimes it's crippling and limiting.

    The Parts are entrenched in directing and believe they protecting the Self. Even when the Self no longer needs them, they do not want to 'retire' and give the Self the reins. (It may help to think of people who repeat destructive behaviors because they are 'familiar': The woman who marries a succession of beaters, for instance.)

    There's much more to this, of course, but I think it's useful to think about the soundness of our 'reasoning' process.

  • marilyn_c
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I think if there is any reason I collect "vintage" things, It is because it is what I grew up with. My family wasn't Beaver Cleaver's, but I have good memories of being underfoot while my mother cooked. When I was five years old, she let me start cooking....and I started by baking cakes. She would tell me what to put in and I'd do it...all by hand. We didn't have an electric mixer until years later. The cakes had the consistency of stale cornbread but my father ate them and bragged on them. For that reason, I suppose, I have always loved to cook, and I cook a lot like my mother did. I like plain, basic food....nothing fancy, but I think being able to cook a good pot roast or make good chicken and dumplings and to cook anything you want from scratch is a lot of satisfaction. My friend says why go to so much trouble to make a cake...use a mix. I want to be able to know that I can cook anything I want to cook from scratch.

    As for cookbooks, I have so many of them, and I like to read them, but almost never use them, unless baking a cake or something that requires detailed instructions. I was thrilled to find a cookbook that I had growing up....and it was sort of a miracle to find it because it was one of those cookbooks put out by a church. I recently found a cookbook that I used to have years ago, called the Gold Cookbook. The recipes in it are written in paragraph form.

    Jasdip, very sweet of your husband to support your hobbies. My husband is the same way. He is one of the most unselfish people I have ever known.

  • rhizo_1 (North AL) zone 7
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    My largest collection is of sun faces. Most of them are for outdoor use, I think, but I use them inside. Terra cotta, wrought iron, cast stone, cast iron, painted ironstone, and even wood. Most are intended to be hung on a wall.

    I knew that I had a real attraction when I first started watching "Sunday Morning", which features those gorgeous sun faces throughout the program. None of mine are particularly elaborate but are really beautiful to me.

    Scattered here and there throughout the house, many are arranged in a large grouping behind the sofa in the family room.

    I would love to collect clocks but have refrained.

    I do have way too many books and am planning on getting rid of about half or more. I've tried in the past, but it didn't work out real well, lol. They're too treasured.

  • nicole__
    8 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I have too many chairs. :0) I upholster them. I'm self taught and this is how I learned. But....the only ones I don't have room for are the 2 extra breakfast bar stools, which were like new. When we did the last remodel I used them to stage the room....and to sit in when we took a break....ate our lunch sitting in them....now I have them stored in the attic...till the next remodel. :0) I paid $20ea. A thrift store find.

    I also have extra framed artwork, stored in the attic. A home builder had a warehouse FULL of artwork used to stage their model homes. They had a sale & what was left they gave away! DH & I took home 24 framed pieces. :0)

    {{gwi:1762177}}

    Here is a link that might be useful: Powell Cherry breakfast bar stools.....

    This post was edited by nicole__ on Sun, Aug 31, 14 at 20:44

  • momcat2000
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    My wedding china, my Mom's Norataki, my MIL's Fiesta, my Christmas Spode, my Grandma's china, books, Bath and Body Works stuff, bangle bracelets, needlepoint pillows and because I'm on the fire department, way too many FD tshirts, pants, hats, caps, sweatshirts, sweatpants, and other assorted FD stuff.

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Wow!

    What a nice blast from the past!

    I'm "between" obsessions right now;
    it surprised me when I realized that I don't feel the impulse to buy more vases, but life goes on.

    wonder what I'll think of to obsess over next?!

    about that fire department stuff:

    My elderly friend worked for the telephone company for, if I remember correctly, about 40 years.

    She had "telephone" *everything*!

    not only things from the actual telephone company, but telephone-themed planters & doo-dads that she either bought or made in ceramics class.

    Maybe we like the member-of-a-team feeling & keep it in our private lives as a positive part of our personalities.

  • chisue
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    momcat2000 -- Do you collect FD stuff from places you visit? The stations here on Maui sell logo shirts and caps. We brought a shirt for our DS years ago, and this year he bought more for himself and our DGS when they were here over Christmas. (He also bought more gear from Maui Tropix.)

  • Cherryfizz
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    My heart breaks for the little girl without a doll. I loved my dolls and still have most of them. I collected Pyrex for years and was given lots of it as gifts. I don't really collect it anymore but if I did find the few pieces I need to finish a set or two I will pick them up if the price is right. I do use some of it and display the odd piece or two but I am done collecting. I think my passion for Pyrex came because we never grew up with the pretty coloured bowls or casserole dishes. My Grandmother had the bowl set and I loved it and she also had a pale green casserole dish she used when she made the lime jello with cream cheese and pineapple and celery salad she made for every holiday dinner. I think my sister got the casserole dish after my Grandma passed away and after my sister passed away I don't know where the dish is now but my family often talks about Grandma's green dish.

    I grew up with 9 people in a 2 bedroom house and if we left anything laying around and not put it away it would be gone. Didn't matter what it was, it would disappear. My Dad would toss it into the stoker. After getting a Barbie house one Christmas it vanished after I had it less than a week. Even though my Dad did that he said some collections were worth having and he collected coins and stamps and often sold his collections to get a new car.

    I did the china thing, still pick up cookbooks. LoveI Christmas decorations and bulbs the older the better and I have tons but I use most of them. My Aunts started me a spoon collection and I got tired of dusting and polishing them I took them off the wall and they are in a bowl in the attic. I have kept all the cards and letters ever sent to me, stored in a box in the attic. I laugh and tell my nieces that it proves that I was loved and had a big family. They didn't know all the Aunts and Uncles and cousins and friends that were numerous in my life growing up. They only see me, not knowing the life I lived before they came along.

    I forgot board games, since most of ours were gone my brother and I replaced all the games we once had and they are sitting on shelves in the attic. Also puzzles, I like the Sprinkbok puzzles and do them more than once and lend them out. My sister used to give me one every Christmas. Embroidery floss too, I carry a paper in my purse of the colours I still need to add to my store for when I do my cross stitching.

    I stopped going to garage sales and thrift stores a few years ago. I decided I didn't want to bring anyone else's stuff in my house and I need to start getting rid of stuff. I watch an episode of Hoarders now and then on Youtube and that gets me in the mood to get rid of stuff. I live in my family home so in the attic is stuff that belonged to everyone else and every once in a while I pack up stuff and give it my brothers to keep or toss. I give things to my brothers that once belonged to my Dad.

    I am very sentimental and keep things I don't really need.

    Loved reading this thread.

    Anne

  • Deeby
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I just moved. Whatever it is, I don't want it. I'm so stressed out from stuff, stuff, stuff I don't even want to watch a shopping channel. I gave away tons before I moved and now that I'm here unpacking, even what I wanted to keep has become The Enemy. You should see the stuff, some new, all nice, that are history and never coming back. Anyone have a spare Valium???

  • linda_6
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I bought a fenton chicken back in the 70's at a flea market for a quarter. When my 2nd husband seen it he got me started collecting more and more. Then one day we had to go to his ex's house for his grandson's birthday party and I seen that she collects chickens also. When I got home I hid everyone of them until I can sell them at a yard sale. No way do I want a collection like hers. I do have a large stash of crochet thread that I love along with a large collections of crochet and macrame books.

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Ah, Cherryfizz/Anne, I wish I could smack your father!

    It sounds like you're the curator for the family history, though, & that's nice;
    your nieces & nephews will know their history & the family stories because of you!

    Deeby, don't throw everything out right now!

    Every time I've gone on a tear getting rid of stuff, I've regretted it later.

    Years ago I gave away the metal flour can my grandmother had used;
    I was moving, & it was dented & banged up & homely & nobody else wanted it, so I thought, "Why the heck should I keep it if it isn't good enough for anybody else?"

    Foolish me, I didn't realize that the reason nobody else wanted it was because they didn't know any better.

  • murraysmom Zone 6a OH
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I think the thing that surprises me the most in reading all these posts is the cruelty of some parents. I can't understand that. It's sad, but at least everyone has come out the other side wiser.

    I like furniture. That is a dangerous thing to collect. It takes up a lot of room and is hard to part with. :) I also like ceramics and glass and natural things like plants and rocks.

    I have too much stuff like leashes and collars for my dogs and tack for my horse. The only thing I buy for my self more than I can really use is rings. I really like them and I'm always on the lookout for the next great one. LOL

    I have a lot of teapots, but I only bought a few of them myself. Most were gifts from family. It becomes an easy thing to give someone you don't know what get.

  • kathleen44
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Interesting, tried and tried to find out about narcissism/mental illness as my mother was going crazier and crazier as the years went by and she hated me and the stuff she did and said to me unreal it was.
    She had to have clothes and what I could't believe is she got rid of her really nice clothes and would go thrift shopping and come home with tons of clothes but never saw her bring into the house, mind you I was downstairs but still never saw bags with her and she had three closets and filled them up and had dresser and chest of drawers and filled up all up to the tilt.

    She would get into things and then suddenly out they would go and she would get into something else.

    She had to have expensive items and never used them, complained to dad and I that they weren't what she wanted but wouldn't go and look and buy. She would rush into things.

    She took my things, I scrimped and saved and sacrificed big time to slowly get what I like in my place downstairs in the house and she just helped herself to them and I would find kitchen stuff upstairs in their kitchen.

    As for clothes, she when she did gift, gave what she liked and I hated and she would come chargining into bedroom and say you going to wear it, no and she said I will take it, go ahead and she would wear it too but again never for long as out it would go and she would keep buying and buying and buying.

    I love books and she would throw those out too and I love ornaments, she made dad come in with her one time and she said put into bags and out it all goes and it was terrible living with a mentally ill mother.

    I feel I saved things because that was the only thing in my life besides our pets that I had.

    She would take clothes too and she always threw out good stuff.

    She hated holidays but especially christmas and each time I tried to buy and have things for then, she would come in and out it would all go. I love christmas but each year its depressing and what is so hard too is she threw out wonderful ornaments I had bought and lovely tucked away and gone, all gone and it breaks me.

    I love jigsaw puzzles but lost use of table due to computer,etc. and so tucked them away and they were safe until three years ago and gone, can't buy them anymore springbok holiday ones I had.

    kathy

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Golly, Kathy, that's horrible.

    It does sound like your mother was a narcissist;
    narcissistic mothers are jealous of their daughters & compete with them...
    only of course the daughter isn't able to "compete" because of the mother's tremendous power (I used to tell people my mother had the power of G*d in my life, but nobody realized what I meant & they were scandalized..thought I was talking bad about G*d!).

    Your mother's frenzied cycle of throwing things out & buying all new could be bi-polar disorder, too.

    I'm glad you have, as murraysmom said, come out the other side.

  • monica_pa Grieves
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I have a lot of leftover yarn....I used to knit and crochet a lot, and I never throw the leftover yarn away....just in case.

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    People's used to use up their leftover yarn on projects like hot pads & bedroom slippers;
    they would just pick up a strand at random & then another & another...

    something like the tradition of scrap quilts & "end of day" glassware!

  • marilyn_c
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I was going to reply to this....and then I saw it is an old thread and I have already replied....but, what the hey....I'll reply again anyway.

    What do I have too much of and why?

    I have too many horses, because all but one are old and if I sold them, they would go to the slaughter house, because they would be useless to anyone else. (4 horses)

    I have too many cats because the humane society asked me if I would take a "couple" of non adoptable cats that had been neutered but could be barn cats. I ended up with about 40. Food and vet bills are donated, thankfully.

    I have too many kitchen things....because I love to cook and I love having just the right implement for whatever. 99.99% is vintage because I don't care to have the greatest or latest and I love the quality of older things.

    I have too many plants...especially waterlilies and epiphyllums because I love them...same reason I have too many goldfish and koi....have raised them for over 45 years.

    I have too many cookbooks, because I love to read cookbooks...sometimes I actually cook something from one of the books.

    I have a lot (I mean really a lot!!!) of garden things, cookie jars, old pottery, dishes, bowls, vintage Christmas ornaments, etc....just because I love them.

    I guess my only other excess is cabinets and cupboards. I think there were 23 at last count. I have them in every room and some are built into the house, as we remodeled it,

    Oh, and marbles. I don't actively collect them any more...or really much of anything else except for buying vintage stuff we can use in the house...light fixtures, etc. I have "at least" 25 or more bottles and jars and containers of marbles. Thousands of them. When I go to the flea market I will usually buy one more marble...just for the heck of it.

  • joyfulguy
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    As for what I have too much of ... how about milk cartons? I cut them down one side, slide two together and staple them to make a tray for letters ... Christmas cards ... mail necessary for preparing the income tax, etc. ... but for how many dozen can one find a legitimate use?

    Sue used to cut used goods, esp. woolen clothing, into strips, then put pantyhose or some similar nylon thing along the middle, lift the edges of the strips and turn them in, then sewing the visible part of the edges to make a tube with the pantyhose inside and sew them to other similar tubes to make a rug. We had a fairly large oval one for some time. It took some skill and experience to get the tubes making the rounding at the end of the ovals to lie flat.

    Mom became ill when I was nearing six, a few months after youngest brother's birth, was in psych hosp. for some years, died when I was 13. Her family was often getting together, and we were part of those gatherings from time to time.

    Dad was an only child and was really busy on his fairly large farm - World War II started in '39 when I was 10, the hired man/men went off to war, so what Dad and this 10 year old and a couple of younger brothers got done ... got done, for the next few years, and what didn't - didn't.

    I've rather thought that Dad put some of what emotional interrelationships he had with family into cold storage after mom got sick, but in a discussion with him late in his life, he thought not ... but ....

    One of my sadnesses in life is that I didn't do a better? more effective? job of letting Sue knew how important she was to me, how much I loved her ... and she felt that living her life on her own was preferable.

    I said a few months ago to an investment group that I've shared in monthly for about a dozen years that I felt that my ex- had got a raw deal ... (one guy said that, apart from getting me - what else?), that she was nine years younger than I ...

    ... and, in good health, died ten years ago, at age 66 ... while I'm still running around ... and enjoying quite good health. Fortunately ... she'd taken early retirement, so had about ten years to have a ball.

    We haven't had family squabbles in my family, though, and I feel rather sad for folk who find Christmas or other get togethers unattractive due to old jealousies, squabbles, etc. being revisited.

    ole joyfuelled ... mostly

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I'm very moved by the many heartfelt messages in this thread;
    some of them make my eyes leak.

    Maybe our "stuff" brings the past back to us, like some scents & aromas do (we've all heard of or seen grown women-& men!-tearing up at the fragrance of Jergens Original Cherry Almond lotion, because that's what their mothers or grandmothers wore).

    & maybe women are more attuned to the nostalgic properties of "things" than guys are;
    Ed wrote a poignant & lovely piece, but what are his "things"?
    milk cartons that he dismantles & re-purposes!

    Marilyn, I'm pleased to know that, after I get finished going through a cabinet full of old cookbooks, I have somewhere I can send the rest.

    These cookbooks are oldish to old, vintage to antique, but so many of them are like your old horses:
    if I donated them to a charity, they'd go straight into the re-cycle bin, which means the shredder.

    I inherited these, & right now I'm reading them, just browsing a couple at a time.

    I got a bit excited the other day when I saw the title "Casseroles".

    I am the un-cook of the universe, but I can do casseroles!

    except...
    every casserole included gross amounts of meat (even the zucchini casserole called for more meat than zucchini), most of them included gross amounts of shortening &/or milk, & nearly every one was made by cooking some rice or noodles & opening up a bunch of cans!

    The mushroom casserole (how hard can it be to wash & slice mushrooms?) called for 2 cans of mushrooms!

    but rather than the shredder, I think it's a fun book to read, & eventually it should be in a cookbook library or museum or archive!

  • phoggie
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    This post brought back thoughts to my childhood....or lack thereof. I did get a doll but that is all of the gifts I can ever remember....except for a bicycle that I won at our drug store from votes of shoppers. My mother tried best she could with what she had...which was not much, but my dad certainly used the iron fist!

    I never had but one collection...and that was in my later life...and that was Donald Zolan's paintings of children. When I moved, I shut my eyes and sold them at my living estate sale for a fraction of what I paid for them but I did not have a place for them in this house....so now have vowed NO more stuff...it is clutter to me now...I find I enjoy my pared down life now.

    As for what I have too much of..........weight! I would be glad to share!

  • des_arc_ya_ya
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I'm sorry to see that there are so many posts indicating KTers had sad/tragic/abusive childhoods. My brother and I were encouraged to participate in things in school, etc. We also had hobbies. My mom arranged with the state library to have me a huge box of books shipped to me every month. I love to read, as she did. I also had several cats. My dad said once that he had to "kick eleven damn times" to get out the backdoor! LOL

    Now? I probably have too much of a lot of things - I love vintage things, red kitchen things, old photos, etc. Luckily, my husband has a high degree of tolerance for "messes"!

  • sheilajoyce_gw
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    My DH and I are in our 70s and retired. We live in the house we bought 37 years ago and where we raised our 3 kids. Though it looks neat, all the cupboards and closets are filled. I need to go through all of them and throw stuff out. I hate the thought of leaving it all to whichever kid will someday help close up the house. I have gone through the younger son's things he left here and still have some drawers to go through. He said to throw it all out, but I want to check before throwing stuff away. And then I take the books to the Friends of the Library to sell. Next I want to get my older son to go through his things he has left here. DD left very little here, but she needs to throw out what she doesn't want too. Then the BIG chore is my stuff--especially clothes I loved in my thinner days. I will never be that size again!

  • susanjf_gw
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    my joy is lenox and mostly clocks...but since they've gone to china, I quit...so only have 5-6...I have other things of my parents but really don't know what to do with it all...none of the kids want anything....

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Please be careful when you go through things;
    check carefully before you pitch stuff in the trash.

    When my mother went to assisted living, her sister called me to say that I could come look through what was left, as my brothers had already been through everything.

    Although there was a lot of junk, there were also a set of children's Bible stories & a lot of Tupperware & such that I suggested my aunt take to her & my mother's church.

    Also, there were a lot of really old textbooks with notations in the margins.

    turned out they were my grandmother's schoolbooks, & those were her notes in the margins.

    My aunt was thrilled to have them, but she would have thrown them out without looking!

    There were photos (remember the little booklets of black & white photos that had red plastic "spiral" type binders?) of my cousin Pat when she went on a trip to New England with my parents in the late 1940's.

    She was a teen at the time, tall & beautiful, & she wore sweaters & plaid skirts & (seems like) saddle shoes.
    There were pictures of her in front of my parents' old car & in front of famous landmarks.

    Pat was happy to get the pictures-
    & her children & grandchildren were gobsmacked!

  • yayagal
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Joyful, that post of yours was beautiful and insightful.
    Sylvia, I can't imagine your childhood and I'm so sorry you had to endure that along with a few other posters.
    I, too, believe this board is more about our upbringing than collections.
    It's been a wonderful read. Thanks everyone

  • momcat2000
    7 years ago

    Chisue, I usually take fdt shirts on vacation to swap with local firefighters. An Indianapolis ff t shirt is a desirable swap because of the 500 race

  • grandmamary_ga
    7 years ago

    Paperback books, Beanie babies and Christmas ornaments. I've started giving the beanie babies to my great nieces and nephews, the paperback books some have gone to goodwill, I will never reread them, but I still have my Christmas ornaments. I do collect the hallmark miniature ornaments. This year I have refused to visit the store to see what is new. I realize I have enough. I will give them to family members in a few years.

    Mary

  • socks
    7 years ago

    Nice description of your life, Old Joyful. Glad you are doing well in spite of your sadness about your DW, Sue. (My name as well). She must have been a nice person.

    I have too many bath towels. They just don't seem to wear out and come in handy for other things. I hate to get rid of them. There are two of us, and I have 17 bath towels, maybe more. Also, too many blankets, quilts, throws, afghans, etc.

    I have a lot of mugs, but it's working out well. Because of the drought we are running the dishwasher less, so having the extra mugs keeps us going a day or two longer.

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago

    nice to see this old thread again!

    One of the posts about bed linens, comforters, quilts, etc rang a bell in my Way-Back machine;

    when I was a young married woman, I went through a phase in which I got sort of obsessed with these things.

    I had a tone-on-tone pale green set (sheets, pillowcases, dust ruffle, comforter, shams) in a willow pattern for my own bedroom, & somehow or other I accumulated 2 complete sets for the guest room, identical eyelet sets including Priscilla curtains, except one was white & one was an ecru/unbleached/"natural" color.

    Maybe it was establishing an orderly & comforting environment, or maybe it had something to do with wanting to be able to welcome family or friends to come & stay a while...

    These days, I love to go to quilt shows, & sometimes I "window shop" on ebay, but I have only a very few.


  • lovemrmewey
    7 years ago

    I was so glad to read about another person whose mother was certainly not perfect and was even harmful. My mother was manipulative, self-centered and jealous. I could never see it as she tried to seem so loving. She was disinterested as soon as my brother was born when I was eight years old. He was the world for her from that time, eventually taking control and leaving her bankrupt and ill. However, it was only when I was 65 years old, that I learned the true extent of her depravity and I don't imagine anyone could guess what that knowledge turned out to be. She died three months after I learned of the horror. I have sometimes wondered if anything might have changed had she lived longer. Certainly not in what she had done, but perhaps the feelings I am left with. I have discussed this with two longtime friends but have reconciled myself to knowing that no one could truly understand.

  • violetwest
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    books. I'm being suffocated. Hard to get rid of.

    ETA: oops, I posted without reading the entire original post which I think doesn't really relate to my collection of books. I just like to read.

  • susanjf_gw
    7 years ago

    paperback books...and I need to get rid of a least 100 more...

  • jemdandy
    7 years ago

    I am a pack rat. I collect information. I hate to throw anything out that I might refer to in the future. Aas a result, I have piles of paper and notes stacked around my computer room and house. I even have a couple of piles that came from my office at work when I closed my job and retired. I took a buy out offer and left a couple of years early; I wasn't ready to go just yet, but the situation was forced upon me and my best choice was to accept the buy-out. The company was closing its operations at my location. There were many important and maybe important pieces of information that I might need in the near future, so I kept the stuff. Most of it could have been tossed, and was discarded, but it took 10 years to do it.

    I have some text books from my college years. I have some of my Dad's school books dating to ca 1908. I have a law book from 1832 on Usury that belonged to my G-G-Granddad. The family association replaced his tombstone last year with a government bronze plaque. I have his old tombstone in my storage shed. It was going ot be tossed out. I have no need of it and it was badly weathered. It could have been tossed. But no, I have it for sentimental reasons.

    Just now, I looked up on my bookshelf and spied books that I have not opened in the last 7 years, books such as "Building your Own 80386" and a hard drive handbook from the 1980s. On the bottom shelf is a box that contains a U.S. Robotics modem with setup disk to connect to the phone line for dial-up service. Its in working order so I did not throw it away. In addition to information, I pack-rat away obsolete equipment. I might have use for it some day, you know.

    In my basement, I have a set of shoe lasts that dates back to at least the 1930s. Those were handy on the farm when shoe soles were nailed on. There is a Yankee Screw Driver and an Auger with a set of wood bits. Next to it is a pair of corn shucker's picks. (Used to harvest corn by hand.) Those are old tools soon to become antiques. I;m keeping those. I just added a hand drill that must date back to the 1930s. Its frame is cast iron. A good cleaning of the bearings put it back to good working order. Hand drills can no longer be found in hardware stores. The clutter continues to grow. It has a life of its own. At least, in the past year, I did clear out several items to the recycling center.

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago

    Books are good!

    A friend, buying a book about nothing in particular at a garage sale, said,

    "It's old.

    I feel sorry for old books; they aren't pretty, & nobody wants them.

    I have a million of them."

    Jemdandy, hang on to those tools!

    They're better than anything we can buy today!


  • cheryl_down_under
    7 years ago

    As a crafter, I have a huge stash of quilting fabric that I have accumulated over quite a few years. I managed to put a halt to buying fabric a while ago but my current thing now is card making and I can't seem to make it through a week without buying something or other. A friend and I get together each Thursday and spend the day making cards, drinking lots of tea and eating (we call it our "therapy") and I enjoy this so much. But between us we have so much stuff (cardstock, embellishments, ribbons etc. - you name it, one or both of us have got it) - and we often joke that we will need to live to at least a 110 in order to use all this stuff up.

  • Lindsey_CA
    7 years ago

    I have WAY too much yarn, and I keep buying more. In fact, I just got a package from Jimmy Beans Wool today... Hubs has WAY too much in the way of golf stuff -- at least 5 full sets of clubs (and of course, he has to have a golf bag for each set). Many, many, many golf shirts, golf pants, golf hats, and golf shorts. How many ball markers does one man need? Apparently, quite a few....

    And we have WAY to much wine! I think we're under 1,000 bottles now, but I can't swear to it. (I need to start drinking more!)

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    I have been surprised to find, in real life as well as here, how many crazy, malignant people there are, how good they are at concealing it, & how many lives they damage.

    Kathleen's post isn't the first I've heard of abusers stealing things, not because they need them or deserve them, not even sometimes to punish their victims, but to gloat over.

    Y'all have my sympathy & my admiration, for having survived & gone on to better lives.

    One thing I've found comforting is replacing the "stuff" I've lost (mother gave away or threw away my things when I was at school, aunt & brothers sold my things at a garage sale, didn't tell me about the sale until it was over, etc) by buying my own!

    & the things I've bought or made or earned myself don't have the taint of having been involved in my parent's envy or hatred or personality disorder.

    Eureka!

    I just realized that my love for vases may come from the lovely old vases my mother got for wedding presents in the forties & for a housewarming in the fifties.

    They were ceramic, they were interesting shapes (one pair was shaped like calla lily leaves, one was a "V" shape, etc), & they were the lovely old colors, dusty pinks, jadeite greens, delphite blues, & then the pink & black of the fifties, & one interesting teal with burgundy splashes, that we don't see today.

    Although I have several shelves full of other kinds, I still haven't found the shiny jadeite green Camax calla lily leaf vases that I always loved (don't know what happened to the originals)...but I do have a yellow one & a pink one, & those are mine-all-mine!

  • gazania_gw
    7 years ago

    I have too many pins. (as in jewelry) I have them because many years ago I found a couple bird pins that went well with some jackets I had. I wore them every time I wore the jackets. Well that opened the door for gift givers to add to my pins...I guess they got tired of seeing the same ones over and over. I do love my collection, each and every one of them. The collection has grown by a dozen or so since this pic was taken 3 years ago.

  • ruthieg__tx
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    My hobby for many years revolved around sewing...clothes and doll clothes, quilts, curtains, bed coverlets etc etc but basically I spent the last number of years sewing for dolls. Barbie mostly but many others as well so I have a ton of fabric and every kind of sewing notion you can imagine. I needed an outlet so I started selling on eBay and over the years did quite well and rather made a name for myself ... I have one room chuck full and the closets in the guest room..I spent every penny I made buying more fabric and notions...I haven't done any sewing in awhile because of the cancer but just recently I decided to help out the Breast cancer awareness people and the chemo group here so I am making chemo caps and arm pillows for BC patients. I sus[ect I am going to die from this lung cancer but since I don't have a clue when, and I am going to fight to the bitter end....I JUST BOUGHT A NEW JANOME SEWING MACHINE....YEA!

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago

    beautiful pins, gazania!

    ruthie, I'm so sorry you're going through the struggle, wish I could help.

    Your chemo caps & arm pillows make a big difference to others.

    Keep on a'fightin', & put 100,000 miles on that new sewing machine!


  • LucyStar1
    7 years ago

    I have way too many decorative pillows. I must have over fifty. I change them for the seasons---Christmas pillows, Fall pillows, Spring, etc. One of my rooms is Country French, so I have rooster pillows, toile pillows, tapestry pillows, etc. I should get rid of some of them, but I like them too much. There is no way that I can ever use all of them, so I would say that it's a problem.

  • Lindsey_CA
    7 years ago

    So this is now a " vent your anger, hatred, and frustration at a parent" thread and no longer has anything to do with " what you have too much of"?

  • sylviatexas1
    Original Author
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    It's on-topic as long as it relates to the kind of things we accumulate, but kathleen, you might want to edit your last post or delete it & make a new one.

    I re-discovered my vase infatuation the other day;

    found an old ceramic vase at an estate sale, looks like it's from the 30's, shaped like a giant rosebud.

    $1.

    Could I just leave it there?

    nope.


  • vicsgirl
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    So many people with issues with parents...sad. I was loved, I had toys and gifts,dresses, dolls, books, sport stuff, games,I lacked for nothing . But as I got older, I think I tried to "recapture" my childhood. As an adult, I loved antique shows, flea markets, garage sales. Any time I saw something we had in our house growing up, I had to buy it. I even bought too many rose bushes and planted them in my garden, trying to re-create my Grandma's rose garden. I now have a linen closet stacked with doilies and tablecloths I'll never use, sets of fancy glasses too fragile to use, things like that. Oh, and on the funny side, my daughter cleaned out my bathroom just yesterday. She found eleven bottles of Listerine. I don't know, I hate the stuff, it burns... I remember buying one bottle because it did everything, whitens teeth, freshens breath, makes gums healthy, strengthens the enamel. I'm just always looking for something to make me happy.

  • arkansas girl
    7 years ago

    I'm kind of doing the same thing as Vicsgirl minus the Listerine and roses....HEEHEE! I wonder what other uses you could find for that Listerine...I'm pretty sure there's a whole list of non-mouthwash uses for that if you want to google search it. I know there are garden uses and I'm pretty sure it's used as a foot soak but I can't remember what condition it treats. :)


    I've bought several things on ebay(and garage sales/flea markets) that we had at home when I was a kid that I miss having now. I too had an awesome childhood, I'd go back and relive in a second if I could and appreciate it MORE today than I did when I was a kid.

  • vicsgirl
    7 years ago
    last modified: 7 years ago

    Ark girl, I'm with you! I wish I could re-live my childhood. Have you ever seen or read the play Our Town? It's about going back and re-living one day from your childhood. Powerful. As for the Listerine, I will donate the unopened bottles to a local charity for battered women. They are always asking for stuff like toiletries. I donated dozens of sample lipsticks I had from back in the day when I tried selling Avon.Now that's another story-I am NOT a good salesperson.

  • kathleen44
    7 years ago

    I couldn't delete one posting, sorry about that.

  • pekemom
    7 years ago

    I like to buy "backups", usually with coupons...but I tend to get more than one backup..now I have so much shampoo, body wash, candles, even food...my husband said to get more Malt O Meal and Cream of Wheat...not checking first, now I have 4 Malt O Meals and 3 Cream of Wheats, all unopened...I need to pay more attention to what I stockpile, there's just the 2 of us anyway....

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