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What Do You Have Too Much Of, & Why Do You Have It?

9 years ago

The thread about china tickled a neuron somewhere in my brain.

Poster said her mother always had wanted nice china but had pieced together an assortment of nice bits from goodwill etc.

so she wants a large set of brand spanking new drop-dead gorgeous exquisite china!

China is a 'reasonable' thing to accumulate;
it's nice to have, & it's entirely useable.

What I'm wondering about is whether many of us don't have some minor obsession about accumulating something, & if, once the craving is satisfied we get over it & go to something else or if there are some things that are with us forever. or both.

(talking here about things you can save up or accumulate-I have a gardening obsession, but you can't collect gardens & put them in display cases or kitchen cabinets!)

When I was growing up, I didn't have dolls.

My mother was a narcissist/sociopath;
women like her are the worst mothers imagineable, but they're particularly bad for girls.

They're jealous of their female offspring & punish, discredit, & mistreat their daughters at every opportunity.

My mother's nuttiness extended somewhat to my brothers;
we talked once or twice about the fact that, while most parents wanted their children to have more than they had had, our mother seemed to want us to *not* have anything that she hadn't had growing up.

& she hadn't had *anything*.

When she was forced to give any of us something in the way of a gift, it was always backhanded, something we couldn't use (like the time she bought me a pink party dress when I was 6-we lived far away from town & parties, & I was the worst in the world for getting mud on stuff-still am) or something noticeably crummy.
Christmas was terrible;
the year my brothers got bicycles, I got the pink dress.
the year they got fishing rods & reels, I got a blouse.
when they got hunting rifles...I can't even remember what I got.

She never wanted me to have anything of my own or anybody or anything that loved me.

She got rid of my pets, I don't know *what* she did to my father, but he went from being happy with me to never ever speaking to me when I was very young, & she never wanted me to have dolls, so I never had dolls.

Once we visited someone, can't remember the relationship, but while the grown-ups were talking & drinking coffee, the daughter of the house played with me.

She had outgrown dolls, & she gave me 2 fashion dolls-a Roberta & a Revlon.

When we were getting ready to leave, my mother ordered me to hand those dolls back to the girl.

Although the girl kept reassuring my mother that she *wanted* me to have the dolls, my mother refused to budge.

I finally burst into tears, which really made my mother mad.

The girl's mother intervened & suggested that the daughter keep one of the dolls "so you'll have it for your own little girl some day" & give me the other one.

My mother had been out-flanked.

so when I was about 45 years old, I tried to corner the market on Revlon dolls!

I also have more old vases than *anyone* could ever use, & I don't even cut flowers for the house!

I'm sure there must be some connection in my mind between nice old vases & something good, maybe visiting my aunts, something like that.

& of course women who sew or quilt are famous for having too much fabric, & guys accumulate too many specialized tools, & Imelda Marcos had zillions of shoes.

One funny thing is that I'm "over" the dolls;
some craving got satisfied, or something.

but I still look for vases at every estate sale!

what do you have too much of & why?
& are there obsessions that you got over & obsessions that have been with you forever & from which you don't expect or want to "recover"?

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