Our son is gone.

jackie643

15 years ago

Our son Ron, 47 years old passed away peacefully last night at 8:30 pm. after a 5 month battle with cancer.

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (95)

pam_25f
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.
Charlee_MO
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Jackie.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Charlotte
Related Discussions
Where have All of our Bruggers Gone!
Q
Comments (77)
We are heading south this Friday. We are wandering our way down and will take 3 or 4 days to get to TX. TX people, if you send me contact info I will give you a call or e-mail when I am in the area. Plans are still fluid while in TX but would let you know ahead of time before coming to your area. Anyone in the Dallas area? Will be going through there early next week. I do get e-mail regularly through GW.
...See More
Son of Pumpkin Guy LOL, and our album
Q
Comments (12)
Luvs, yes summer is going fast. Thank Heavens in my case. I am probably the only one on here who dislikes summer and can't wait for it to end. But when temps hit 100 by May and don't stop till late Oct, maybe y'all can understand. We get VERY little rain here, and over 300 days of sunshine. Phoenix has TWO seasons, hot and nice. I am longing for the nice, LOL. I never wear a coat, tho have a couple of light-weight jackets just in case. And my favorite days are GREY ones, which we get darn few of. I love clouds! I just added another 7 photos to the Fall album. Forgive me but put my own stacked plates from last year. Then there are 3 tablesettings along with 3 other new ideas. hugs, Karen
...See More
step son doesnt like our house
Q
Comments (12)
Yep sounds like a plan :-) We've had similar experiences with my (now) SD12 and SD14. It's exactly what Mattie says: SS knows it pleases BM if he has a bad time at your place. BM has done the same thing to my skids. By saying: "Are you ok babie?" in a worried voice and hugging the kids excessively they pick BM's anxiety up. "Something must be wrong, my mummy is so upset to leave me here". It doesn't take long to work out what the desired response is. And then there's the reward afterwards which seals the deal. SS's loyalty will be with BM simply because he lives with her and she's his main caretaker. It might make you feel better knowing that it's a normal and healthy response for SS. When I realised how it works I felt a lot better, knowing it's not personal. Because it's not. All you have to do is be supportive of SS when he's with you. I would stick to the court ordered time, as suggested by the other poster. And when he needs to call BM, or when she rings him and he feels bad after, have a chat to him. You can say "I understand you love your mum very much and it's ok to miss her. I'm sure your mom knows how much you love her, but we are happy to have you here too. I know how hard it can be, most of us do. Our BM does very similar things. She'll drop the kids off and keep them in the car in our driveway for a minimum of half an hour. Just to bring the 'goodbyes' and 'love you's' and 'miss you already!' to a hysterical level. Once that's achieved they can come into our house. Pfff. And (on a bad day) she'll call them 2 mins later while she's driving back, just to check if they're ok.. Again, pfff. You did say SS gets over the crying pretty quickly after he gets off the phone, so all is not lost! If you can comfort him and distract him a bit after then my guess is you'll be fine. Another thing I've learned is not to try and 'save' the skids anymore. My skids can do as they please at BM's, eat what they want, go to bed when they want, stay home from school, watch movies all day etc etc. At our place there are different rules, we eat meals together, they can't just grab what they want, when they want. We have a set bedtime and we don't rent 10 movies a week. But, it's unreasonable to expect the kids to totally change when they're with us. They are used to hanging in front of the tv, they don't play outside much. If this is what BM lets them do, we can't change that. Of course it's not great, but I can't save them from it either in the short time they're with us, you know what I mean? So we have to compromise. You could have a talk to SS, include him in the decision making. He'll feel more in control and less victimised. Also, he's more likely to accept the rules if he feels included in the process. For example tell him that you realise it must be hard for him to come to your place where there's different ways of doing things. And that you understand he sometimes wants to go back to moms because of it. Then tell him that you want to help him with this because you want everybody to be happy. Yyou could ask him to think about what he finds most difficult ("Do you miss your X-box, your friends, your favorite food/mums cooking etc"). Encourage SS to share what goes on inside him (hopefully he will). Then it's time to comprimise. For example you can tell him that the set bedtime is not negotiable, but maybe you can rent him some dvd's and he can watch one a day in the holidays. Or an extra hour of tv to what you'd normally do. Ask him for his favorite meal and if that is McDonalds maybe have it one day in the holidays, for lunch or dinner. Take a little and give a little. Good luck to you!
...See More
grieving for our son
Q
Comments (4)
Oh honey, I sense your pain. You sound just like Hamsteve, the wonderful stepdad who raised his SD w/ his wife, the girl's mother. The biodad there, also poisoned the DD against her mom and stepdad despite not being there for the girl for the most part in any way, provided her w/ a country club partying life and she moved from VA to FL - not looking back. She is the only child there, too. Like most of our advice to Steve, I think and hope and pray this will run its course. Steve's DD has outright been very negative towards him and her mother, not calling, even flying back to their town to visit friends w/o notifying them, etc. Keep the lines of communication open as best you can. The SM's behavior is despicable and so far out of line, it isn't remotely humorous. I can't understand their motive. But, I wonder if all will be fine and dandy in another few months, or more. It's only been a week and a half. As a mom, I know that sounds like a lifetime, but it isn't that long - they're all still in the honeymoon phase. Even my SD's first few weeks here were great. But, then little things began to bug me - I did more cleaning up than ever before and began to resent her. Of course, she never treated me very well in the beginning of our marriage, so we have a history w/ old wounds, etc. Anyway, even under the best of circumstances, it's tough to share a roof w/ someone who really hasn't been there all along. What do you think their motivation was to get him w/ them? It can't be financial, esp. given the miniscule amount they contributed to his well-being. Just plain old jilted feelings from nearly 20 years ago? Maybe try to ride this out, be glad he's not living in some apt. somewhere w/ a nutty roommate, and be supportive. If they continue their negativity towards you, make frequent visits and then see if DS will consider living in the dorm or an apt. Try to talk that aspect up. If he gets a gf, he may desire more privacy, less rules, etc. My SS disappeared from us over 2 years ago. I think his issues are that he is gay, and not comfortable w/ that, and that he messed up. Everyone had high hopes for this boy - he was very, very smart. He either dropped or failed out of college after moving to a partying atmosphere sr. year. He also stuck me on his $25K student loans I cosigned for him. Nonetheless, I tell his sisters that while I'm disappointed, it isn't worth losing the family over and he is welcome back any time. Even they don't hear much from him. I fear there were drugs he got involved w/ for the turn around. DH buries his head in the sand on most unpleasant issues and they never talked about the gay issue. So, after all of this, I'm just saying to keep in touch w/ your son. He should have more and more of a sense of who was there for him through the years as time goes on. Meanwhile, keep communicating, try not to be always defending yourself if issues arise, though that's hard. It's better to give your side of any stories face to face - and I'd plan to be there as much as I could. All the best, Dana
...See More
mawheel
15 years ago
Please know that you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
williamsburgjane
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. Sending warm hugs to you and your family.
fran1523
15 years ago
I am s sorry for your family. May he rest in peace.
sylviatexas1
15 years ago
I'm so sorry.
mamatoad
15 years ago
I'm so very sorry! Losing a child leaves a hole in one's heart forever. I lost my lovely, talented daughter to cancer shortly before her 40th birthday. You will be in my prayers.
Jodi_SoCal
15 years ago
Oh, I'm so very sorry for your loss.
ladonna
15 years ago
Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. (((hugs)))
tami_ohio
15 years ago
I'm so sorry. You have my sympathy and prayers.
jackie643
Original Author
15 years ago
Thank you all. I would love to put a picture of him, but I don't know how to do it..It was taken in South Dakota (a place he loved to visit.) a month after he found out he had cancer. his Dad and I sent him and his wife Kat there while he still felt pretty good.
renee_b
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. 47 is still so young...
taigen_gw
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss, I can't imagine what you must be going through. If you would like to email me the photo I would be happy to post it for you. You can get my email by clicking on my name and sending me a message. I don't like to just post it publicly.
vannie
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine what you're going through. You are on my heart and in my prayers. May God bless your entire family.
wildchild
15 years ago
I am sorry for your loss.
msmagoo
15 years ago
So sorry for your loss. God Bless.
jackie643
Original Author
15 years ago
Taigen. I sent you a e-mail. Jackie.
renee_fl
15 years ago
((((Jackie and Family)))
deborah_ps
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for the loss of your son Jackie.
angela_nor_calif
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss.
houstonmom_gw
15 years ago
I'm so sorry for your loss. We are lifting you and your family up in prayers.
joyfulguy
15 years ago
((((((Jackie and family))))))

I offer my heartfelt condolences at this time of your great loss.

My daughter, that same age, called last night and we talked for an hour ... I can't imagine the pain that it would cause me to lose her ... and in such a difficult way.

I'm offering some prayers for grace and peace for all of you who loved your precious son, Ron.

ole joyful
Jamie_LA
15 years ago
I'm SOOOOO sorry.Thoughts and prayers for all of your family.
Georgysmom
15 years ago
Oh, Jackie. There just doesn't seem to be any words at a time like this. My heartfelt condolences to you and your family.
maggie200
15 years ago
Please stay in touch. It is a great that you posted on here
where there are extraordinary sympathetic people. You don't know it yet but you will find the strength to share and comfort others. Stay on board here.
Hugs to you and your family.
ntt_hou
15 years ago
I too am sorry for your loss. When my dad passed away from cancer, I remembered feeling sad yet very relieved that he was no longer suffering. I hung on to that "relief" feeling to comfort myself of the loss.

I can't imagine how much worse it is to lose your own child. My deepest sympathy for you and your family.
cheekybones
15 years ago
With deepest sympathy and heartfelt prayers.
nanatricia
15 years ago
I am so very sorry.
mcjelia
15 years ago
I am so very sorry.

Jean
dianamo_1
15 years ago
I'm so sorry. (((Hugs)))
eileen101
15 years ago
My thoughts for you and your family.
sable_ca
15 years ago
My thoughts and prayers for you and your family. I am so very sorry.
kathy_
15 years ago
Having just lost my mom to cancer 2 short months ago - I can say this.

After she was gone, I was devastated. Then I started to think..no more doctors, no more needles, no more chemo and being sick. No more tests and scary trips to the hospital.
We had a chance to say a lot of I love yous and what a wonderful blessing that was.

Your son (and my mom!!!) are whole again and awaiting your arrival and a joyous reunion.

You are left home to handle the grief. Horrible, horrible grief. Trust me - it gets easier with time and that horrible black cloud will lift. Sometime it returns and that is OK. It will lift again though so ride those sad waves until it does. It's so hard...

What a handsome young man he was on earth - he still is!!

Sending big soft hugs....Kathy
Granlan_TX
15 years ago
Jackie, my heart goes out to you and your family.
pattico_gw
15 years ago
My thoughts and prayers to you and your family
User
15 years ago
(((((((((Jackie & Family)))))))))))) So sorry for you loss.
des_arc_ya_ya
15 years ago
I am so very sorry, Jackie. Prayers going out for you and all of your family. ((Jackie))
cheryl_ok
15 years ago
Jackie, I'm so sorry for your loss.
You are in my thoughts
janniel
15 years ago
My heartfelt condolences. May the good Lord wrap his arms around you and your family and give you peace.
ann_in_florida
15 years ago
I am so very sorry for your loss.
Mickey15
15 years ago
Jackie, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I will keep you in my prayers.
liz
15 years ago
Jackie...I'm so sorry for your loss...your family is in my thoughts and prayers...
donna37
15 years ago
So sorry for your loss. Special thoughts and prayers for you and the family.
pudgeder
15 years ago
You have my deepest sympathies.
sjerin
15 years ago
I'm so sorry this happened to you. The only silver lining is to know your son isn't hurting anymore, and is very happy.
Cherryfizz
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss. You have my deepest sympathies. My sister recently passed away and it is hard, I couldn't imagine losing a son or daughter. You are in my thoughts.

Anne
jel48
15 years ago
I am so sorry, Jackie.
mrsmarv
15 years ago
I am so sorry for your loss.

(((Nora)))
dedtired
15 years ago
I don't often post here, but saw this post. I want to add my words of sympathy to the others. I have two sons, one is 45. I cannot imagine what you must be feeling. Thinking of you.
hayjud_mn
15 years ago
I'm so sorry about your son passing. The heartache has to be terrible.
My condolences to you and your family.

Our son is gone.

Comments (95)

Related Discussions

jackie643Original Author

jackie643Original Author

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

jackie643
Original Author

jackie643
Original Author