Mary, I'm so sorry for your loss. My husband died suddenly in his sleep in May 2011 at age 53. He wasn't sick, but he wasn't too healthy, either. He had terrible sleep apnea that he didn't treat and his heart stopped at some point during the night. I found him on the couch the next morning, looking very peaceful. For several months I really didn't believe it - it was like he was just away somewhere. The tragedy of it all slowly started to sink in. I went back to work in the weeks following and that took my mind off it a little, and I had to make a living too - I couldn't stay in bed if I wanted to - my employer was understanding and said to take all the time I needed, but if I don't produce I don't get paid so I had to move forward at least at work. I think, at least for me, that getting my mind into work kept me from going off the deep end of despair. I don't remember a whole lot about last summer, though. Widow Brain, they call it. I had and still have great support from my two children (he was their much loved stepfather), and friends and family that call me and take me out often. But I miss him terribly! He & I also had plans for the future - the kids were just out of college and on their own, and we thought we were starting our next chapter. Now it's just me. I get out and around other people, but I also spent (still do) a lot of time at home by myself so I can cry all I want. It's a very physical release not just emotional. My heart actually aches. But for me it is very cleansing to wail and howl and let it out when it comes. In the month or two after the funeral it was so hard for me to write the thank you notes -- I cried so uncontrollably that I'm surprised the neighbors didn't call the cops. I never did find a support group except forums online, so I don't know how it is for everyone. I'm getting through. The holidays were difficult of course, but as the new year progressed I was getting a little bit better, maybe not crying so much. And then, Valentine's Day. It's not like G ever made a big deal of it, but he was my Honey and when someone at work said "Happy Valentine's Day" to me I lost it and I did not expect that to happen. I was a sad mess all day long. You just never know what will set you off. I'm comparatively young in the widow world, and I know that I'm lucky that I always was an independent person and that I can afford my house if I'm careful, so I don't have to move right now. I'm a naturally positive thinker and not prone to depression and I think that helps a lot too. From what anyone who has been through this tells me each person handles it their own way and no way is right or wrong. Some people might "get over it" soon and some maybe never. I don't know if I'm any help to you but I want you to know that you are not alone. Jean

I found this one today. OVERNIGHT APPLE BUTTER mixture of apple varieties, rather than just one type, will produce apple butter with rich, complex flavor in this slow cooker recipe. Good choices include Esopus Spitzenburg, Granny Smith, Jonathan, Northern Spy, Rome, Stayman, Winesap, and York. Enjoy the apple butter over toast or English muffins, or serve it with pork chops or chicken. Yield 4 cups (serving size: 1/4 cup) Ingredients 1 cup packed brown sugar 1/2 cup honey 1/4 cup apple cider 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves 1/8 teaspoon ground mace 10 medium apples, peeled, cored, and cut into large chunks (about 2 1/2 pounds) Preparation Combine all ingredients in a 5-quart electric slow cooker. Cover and cook on low 10 hours or until apples are very tender. Place a large fine-mesh sieve over a bowl; spoon one-third of apple mixture into sieve. Press mixture through sieve using the back of a spoon or ladle. Discard pulp. Repeat procedure with remaining apple mixture. Return apple mixture to slow cooker. Cook, uncovered, on high 1 1/2 hours or until mixture is thick, stirring occasionally. Spoon into a bowl; cover and chill up to a week. Stovetop variation: Combine all ingredients in a Dutch oven. Cover and cook over medium-low heat 1 hour or until apples are very tender, stirring occasionally. Strain through a sieve as recipe instructs in Step 2. Return mixture to pan. Cook, uncovered, over medium-low heat 15 minutes or until thick, stirring frequently.

Am in Gettysburg, PA. Camp internet is not good. have added two more. 1 .Hgl_Gayle Marie 2. Phyllis_mn 3. Monica_Pa 4. Cheryl_ok 5. Kathsgrdn 6. Stoneybaloney 7. Janie_ga 8. Millburn_jn_po_mom 9. Liira Lynn_d Terilyn Jasdip Minnie in TX Marilyn Sue Jackie Ok Wanda_va Gabby girl Pattico Maryanntx Marilyn_c 21.Joann_fla Vickey MN Toni NE Kat WA 25.Mama Toad Daisy_3gardner Murray mom marie nd Leann2800 Ont_gal I have not forgotten myself, yet! I did almost forget to add me last year tho! Mrsmarv, PLEASE email me if you want in. You posted here, but didn't email me with your address & info. I don't want to count on last year's info transfering improperly, so don't want to just use what I might have, especially with my computer problems. Cheryl, thanks for double checking me. I am saving all of this on a flash drive while on the road. Whole computer is backed up at home on an external drive. So far the screen is working, as long as I have it in the correct possition, but don't dare let it go to sleep or move the screen! Tami

Hey Patti, This is the site that Joann_Fla put together for us Here is a link that might be useful: KT Gathering Place