"the child may very well not ask to speak to his mom because he knows there is a rule that he can only speak to her once a day around bedtime" Nope, not the case. Unlike BM, my DH is the caring and rational parent who has his son's best interest at heart. He would never, EVER tell SS "you are only allowed to talk to your mom once a day."" SS just gets busy living with US and doesn't seem to think of talking to mom. Much like when he is with BM, he doesn't call DH except in the evening, close to bedtime I think Marie you are attributing qualities your 11 year old DD has, and comparing them to a 7 year old boy. Sorry, but boys don't seem to like to "chat" on the phone as much as girls do. I can already see that diff. between my DD and SS. Also, a 7 yr old is really not "into" talking on the phone much yet. Maybe when SS gets older, he will want to talk to BM or his dad more often---but for now, it is simply not an issue. I think you are giving the BM in my situation way too much credit here. She is not the caring, "involved" parent you are describing. I could go on and on about the times she has continually NOT put her child first. She with-held visitation for THREE WEEKS last summer because she was pissy w/my DH for taking her to court. DH talked to SS on the phone throughout the weeks sporadically, and SS sobbed one of the times, crying that he wasn't "allowed" to see dad. AWFUL. Many times now when his mom calls now he asks his dad if BM is fighting. Slowly but surely, he is begining to see his mom is WACKY. It's to the point that SS tries to listen in on DH's phone convos b/c he thinks BM is causing problems. Last week, BM called him, and at the end, she asked SS to put his dad on the phone, and SS said "no because I'm afraid you're going to get mad at him." He knows. This woman is irrational and insane. She sent her current DH to the hospital last winter b/c she got drunk, and ripped the phone off the wall, and chucked it at his head---he had to get stitches. The year before last, she was fighting w/her DH, and I guess he stormed out of the house, and IN FRONT OF HER SON AND HER STEPDAUGHTER, she took a KNIFE to the blow-up Frosty the Snowman in their front yard. SS "laughs" about it occasionally, but DH and I both know it's a defense mechanism. Talk about terrifying for a child---to see a parent that out of control. Last Christmas Eve--it was DH's night, but BM begged him to let her have SS until Christmas morning. DH consented. Well, guess what SS did that night? He spent the evening w/his stepdad at his stepdad's parents' house while BM stayed home gettgin plastered. She called my DH and me a gazillion times, sobbing about how she wanted a divorce, hated her life, etc. Nice, huh? You can sit there all you want and say that she is a caring, involved mother. Yeah, she loves her son, I will give you that--but she is an alcoholic with serious mental issues. We will do what we have to do to protect OUR FAMILY from her behavior and her antics. A direct line of communication to SS is not needed and actually, is very detrimental to our family. And, truth be told, to SS. DH wishes BM had LESS influence over him than she already does. Unfortunately, until she really screws up, joint custody will continue---but that does not mean BM needs to be in constant communication w/their son on his father's time. The woman has some serious issues, and everyone knows it---the former GAL, the current GAL, the judge, our attorney, and heck, even BM's own family knows it. We have a letter ON FILE in our court case from BM's cousin stating that she has a serious drinking problem. If we ever go to trial, this cousin will testify on our behalf.

We were in the olive garden one night and the folks at the table next to us never got off their phones.It was a couple and the girl was talking to someone about her dad,and by the time we were served i could have told you where her dad worked,what he did for fun,what kind of car he had and who he was ticked off with at the moment.Couldn't hear much of the guys side as the girl talked too loud. ON dr phil one day this was his subject,and he had parents complaining about their kids,and it showed these 2 GF'S sitting on the couch and they were texting each other instead of talking.WTH MY GD came to live with us in june,she's almost 25 and that damn phone is like another appendage of her body.Told her right out,that when we sit down to dinner it goes off,and if she is out with us it's to be on vibrate and she's only to answer it if it's an emergency.So far,so good.She knows we are the "My house,my rules kind of folks",and don't plan to change that anytime soon!!! Kathi

I really was taken aback by the "holier than thou" take on my post. I sure don't feel that way, nor did I intend to come off that way. Hands free is legal in my state, however, the law now prohibits any contact with your cell, even when stopped in traffic. I've never used my cell in the car, I never look at texts and certainly wouldn't text myself. If hands free were illegal, I wouldn't do it. I never used my phone in the car before I had hands free and it is really a rare occasion when I do now - maybe to let someone know I'm stuck in traffic or running late. I have one route I take on a 2 lane country highway to my cabin, with long stretches of open road and sometimes I will talk to a friend for an extended period, but that, too, is rare. I am careful about when and where I talk, not on unfamiliar roads or when traffic seems to be erratic. I do feel like I am a super aware driver, I drive defensively. The same with my GPS...I always put in the address before I start moving and it talks me through maneuvers. I do glance at the dash display to see what the next move is going to be and how far away it is, but like I said above, it's no more of a glance than at my speedometer. I guess you can be livid if you want. I hope you don't ever turn on your car radio, or change the station or listen to the news. For some people that could be a big distraction and time with your eyes off the road. Same with smokers who light up while driving. Or people who drink their lattes, or even sip from water bottles. Only one hand available to control your car. I think it's a spectrum of distractions and abilities.

I'm with @colleenoz. maps and camera are the two most important aspects, so it is with me on vacation. my newest phone's camera has far surpassed the Canon I used to carry around. My husband and I turn our work email and slack off during vacation, and we're not big on social media or video games. Probably the only time it's a pain to have the phone is when we want to swim and there's nobody there to watch our belongings, but that's rare. Usually there's at least one friend who wants to stay back. I put it in a "dry bag", and take hilariously blurry pictures. I've also heard of portable lockers you can put your stuff in and tether it to something, but I don't trust that.