First of all, regardless of who uses it, I can't help but recommend that you max out the ram in your desktop if it hasn't been done already. It's great "bang for the buck". You can probably get a $500 laptop that will do the trick, but I might suggest a trip to best buy or one of the other dealers and talk to them about it. I noticed that hggregg has some great prices, but their sales folks don't seem to know their stuff so "caveat emptor". Buy one with a dual core processor and at least 3 or 4 meg RAM and you should be fine. (I'd worry less about the hard drive capacity.) Also, based on my latest experience with HP laptops, I would avoid them. I bought one for my niece a bit over a year ago and the mousepad buttons have come off in addition to it failing to go into sleep mode when the clamshell is shut. They look great but don't hold up worth a darned under normal teen use.

OK - I read it and they are 7 to 14. Definitely old enough to clean up after themselves and to share cleaning the common areas. READ THIS: http://strikingmom.blogspot.com/ The problem there is they bounce back and forth between my house and the ex's house so if they have chores they may not be home that evening to do them, if the ex has them he keeps them until bedtime so they come home and go straight to bed, no chores done so its left to me. So I've been having them help when they are here but trying to come up with a routine I can do when they aren't. Talk to their father ... they should not be able to use "went to dad's / mom's" as a way of leaving their responsibilities to either of you. This is about raising them to take care of themselves, and be good partners and roommates for other people more than it is about keeping you from dropping dead of exhaustion. Distinguish between things that only affect one person with those that affect everyone, like cleaning common areas and doing dishes. Perhaps a "chores done over there before you come over here" policy? And a "If you left chores undone, you will go home in time to do them before bedtime" policy? Something like this: "Susie is running late because she forgot it was her turn to clean the kid's bathroom. Which is more convenient - picking the kids up after she's finished or bringing them back early so she can get it done before bedtime?" NOTE: This will affect the other children, but don't worry about it. The one responsible for the problems will get a LOT of hassling from the siblings to not ruin it again. Or, if the chores aren't done, the other kids go and the one who didn't plan it right can have another chance at it "next time". Do this once or twice, consistently, and they will become much better at remembering and time management. =========== Set a zero clutter policy for common areas : all personal possessions must be in their rooms before they leave for dad's or go to bed. In other words - out of your sight and not your problem. As for the clutter they inevitably leave when they zip off to dad's ... either toss it onto their bed so they have to deal with it when they really want to go to sleep, or if you feel less charitable, pick it up and toss it in a large box and put it in the trunk of your car. When they ask "Mom, where's my ___ whatever?" you smile and say, "It must be in your room. Did you put it in your room before you left yesterday?" You can let the confiscated clutter sit for a while and then appear on their bed, or make them ransom it back by doing something for you. =========== Adding - they should be doing their own laundry. Show them how and stand back. If they forget a load in the washer, take ot out and put it in a basket on their bed. ======== If you keep picking up after them, and "doing for them", they will never learn to be self reliant. Mom as backstop is a bad thing when it comes to daily life. This post was edited by lazygardens on Wed, Jun 11, 14 at 11:18

I don't have an IPod, so no help there. As for making sure you don't buy duplicate CD's, my solution is not so much maintaining & carrying around an inventory of what I already have...but carrying a wishlist of what I want, or "need" if you work on building collections. If it made my wishlist, I know I don't already own it. If it made my wishlist, I know I've thought about it and want it more than any impulse buy and it serves a purpose for my music tastes and collection. If I see a CD in a store that's not on my wishlist & could be an impulse buy...I DON'T buy it!!!! I write it down on my wishlist for the next planned trip...or to verify, or to think about it or research it in the event I discover I really don't need or want it in the next few days. I've had to discipline myself to do this, but it absolutely works for me in stopping wasted money on impulse buys. If the CD is released, remember that IT WILL BE THERE THE NEXT TIME, and if it's not, there are so many other ways to buy the CD online or in other stores. You're not missing any opportunities if you walk away from impulse CD purchases.

it sounds like she's trying to punish him for not being there, whether it was by his choice or the mom keeping him away, she's got resentment against him for it. That's going to take a lot of time and patience on his part to work through those feelings. I agree with mom of 4, getting her involved in helping others in worse situations may help. I used to volunteer when CASA in our town held a "kids day". and talking to her in a sensitive way could help too. Tell her that you care about her and want her to be happy, safe and healthy and that is why there are rules. The rules are the rules and if they are violated, there are consequences. Consistency is the key and the rules or consequences can't change to fit your schedules or current mood, otherwise she won't take it seriously. It's easy to let them go when you feel guilty but kids need to know what to expect. Your DH may also tell her that trust and respect are a two way street. He could apologize for the past (and mean it) and tell her that what's happened in the past can't be changed. Tell her that they can only go forward and start now. He's here now and wants a relationship with her. He could tell her that he knows she's had disappointment and would like for him to feel how she felt, but doing that is only going to prevent them from moving forward. He has to be very careful of what he tells her he's going to do because she will remember even the slightest white lie and use it against him if she can. If she says she's going to do something, she needs to be told that she's expected to follow through but that only works if he follows through on what he says he's going to do. and it's okay for him to admit his past mistakes to her and let her know he wants to change. but if he says that and doesn't do it, it's meaningless. I wasn't suggesting that you go to a 50/50 arrangement. I guess what I meant was my SD was doing 50/50 until her mom moved away. She was devastated. Her mom gets her on weekends only now and since mom's relationship is new, we had a concern that if it didn't work out, mom would move back to the area and upset the stability that we are working hard to give SD. The counselor said that if she did move back and we refuse to go back to 50/50, then SD would resent us for it. I know she's right and SD will be angry but DH feels it's best for her to stay stable. I agree with your counselor on that and especially at your SD's age. My SD is 8 and I'm already worried about the boys issue. Her mom changes BF's like socks and SD gets infatuated by any boy that looks at her (and some that don't). We've been contacted by the bus driver that she acts inappropriately by trying to sit on a 7th grade boys lap and he complained to the school. The counselor believes she is modeling her mom's behavior and that is something we may never be able to change. Her mom is all about being "Hott, sexy and cool" and that is what SD thinks life is about. When she first came here, she wrote down her goals in life and her jobs were: Model or strip. She comes back from her mom covered in temporary tattoos because she wants to be like her mom (and her mom knows her dad doesn't like it, could be part of the reason). I have a daughter that is now 17 and not nearly as interested in boys the way the 8 year old is, so I do believe a lot of it is modeling from the mom. (I've even thought she may have been molested but the counselor has explored that and hasn't found anything to indicate she was, besides an incident when mom's ex BF stayed over and likely had sex with mom in front of SD when SD was under 5, which is a form of molest but something the court dismissed because it wasn't discovered until she was 8. Mom shared a room with her daughters and SD says she was awake and mom denies it ever happened.)