Whew...what a day!

16 years ago

It is 1:48 a.m. and I just fed Tayler and got her back to sleep and so hear I sit wide awake!

Doctors apts went really well today. The only real concern right now is their weight. So the two oldest are now on a really good childrens multi vitamin and I bought some ensure to help also.

We discussed Tanna's food issues and he said to include her in helping with food but not to baby her over it. She did however eat lunch and didn't ask what was for dinner but at dinner she made sure they would get breakfast.

It was kind of funny today Tanna came running into the kitchen and yells "hey mom" and it took me a second and I thought Oh heck that's me! It is taking a little getting used to.

I bought a baby monitor today and put it in the girls room and tonight after we did baths, pj's and bedtime stories we went into our room and we heard Tanna ask Trace "Do you ever think we will see our mom again?" My DH and I just sat on our bed and cried. This is the first she has mentioned her mom at all.

We have started all the adoption paper work and are also in the process of getting their last names changed to ours. This should take anywhere from 6-8 weeks.

Thanks again for all the kind words and helpful advice....you guys are the best!

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Comments (29)

mimi_boo
16 years ago
Your messages just put smiles on my face! Have a great weekend with the girls, Mom!

Barbara
maire_cate
16 years ago
"Mom!" - one simple word that means so much!

Maire
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bigack
16 years ago
Oh wow, you guys are the best!
Marilyn Sue
16 years ago
This is so exciting and love hearing about your day to day adventures. Bless you all.

Sue
kayjones
16 years ago
Yes, I remember calling my foster mom 'mom' within 24 hours - it means security to a little child. Isn't it interesting how being a mom comes to naturally to some and to others, it's a foreign concept they can't embrace? What a wonderful life these little ones will create for you, and you for them.
alisande
16 years ago
"Mom" -- there's nothing like it. You're the best.
dotmom
16 years ago
Oh, thank you for the up date. Your new adventure is so heartwarming. I tried to tell hubs about it yesterday, and ended up blubbering and crying. I am so touched by your story. God bless you all.
sandy_in_ia
16 years ago
I so enjoy hearing all the "new" things you all are going through. Not sure who is luckier...the girls or you and your DH! I am just so thankful that you all have each other.
hayjud_mn
16 years ago
I woke up this morning just wondering how your family is doing. Isn't that a wonderful tingle you feel when yoou hear yourself being called "Mom."
gemini40
16 years ago
Wow what an incredible journey you are on.I was so happy to see you have started the name change and adoption process making it all come to a happy ,wonderful, exciting conclussion.
Wish you much success and look forward to hearing from you..you have a captive audience here.. bend our ears anytime. we are waiting to help!!

june
hgl_gaylemarie
16 years ago
LOL! Being a Mom...you may need to "nap" when the girls do. LOL!
patti43
16 years ago
Seems we just can't get enough hearing about your new family, so I hope you'll have time to give us a fix" often.

Dot, I was telling Harry about this yesterday and HE got a little choked up.
suzieque
16 years ago
This is so wonderful and I find myself looking forward to updates. It breaks my heart that Tanna asked her sister if she thought they'd see their (biological) mom again. I just know that you will make her journey through that emotional minefield more smooth. That she called you Mom is just marvelous and indicative of her new sense of security.

Blessings to your wonderful family.

Suzieque
sheesh
16 years ago
Thank you for taking the time to update us. We really appreciate it, "MOM!"

I'm very happy for all of you.

Sherry
petaloid
16 years ago
Those children are so fortunate to have a home with you and your husband. Thank you.
Terri_PacNW
16 years ago
Kids are so resilient....they just absorb their new surroundings like it's always been.
chisue
16 years ago
I'm glad you heard the question Tanna asked about seeing their mom again. You didn't really think they'd *forgotten* their mother. YOU know their mom is a mess, and THEY know things were bad, but...she has been Mom to them all of their short lives. They may feel disloyal about calling you Mom.

This is hard because they are so young. They won't be capable of reasoning this out for some years. They are still in the throes of 'magical thinking'. They may even think THEY are responsible for the family breakup -- welcome in some ways, but disrupting life as they knew it.

We know you are eager to be Mom, and you will be, but not overnight. We, and you, know that you have 'rescued' these kids, but that's probably not quite how they see it. As crazy as their home was, it was home. Living with you is so new; it may be temporary (in their minds). It won't feel like 'home' for a while. They ARE young, but they DO remember 'yesterday' like, well...yesterday!

Do you have access to professional guidance about how to handle their concerns -- and your own feelings? It would prove helpful to have a bit of a 'roadmap' for the days ahead. Then, when things like hearing Tanna's question come up, you won't be so rocked by them.

Also, heed the advice earlier about taking care of YOU, getting REST. This is a physically and emotionally exhausting time. Your family comes to help today, right?

Slowly, slowly, bit by bit...it will all come together.
linda_in_iowa
16 years ago
I told your story to 3 girlfriends at lunch yesterday. They were so touched by it. I look forward to your daily updates.
heather_on
16 years ago
May I make a quick suggestion? Start a little diary of your feelings and experiences with the girls. Even just do a copy and paste from your writings at the KT. Years down the road your girls will read about your love for them and their early adoptive life in your home. Also, now is the time to start the medical records on your girls, as if you don't have enough to do. ;-)

As an adoptee, I love hearing about your girls. I am excited for you and also for them to now have a stable loving home.
chisue
16 years ago
You may want to tell the girls your mom and sis are comming to visit YOU, and how long they'll stay. The fewer 'surprises' and least 'fuss' the better.

Do the girls know they are getting new names? Names are a big deal with kids.
User
16 years ago
Had you known these girls before? I think you said these were your cousin's kids. Will she be showing up at family events and will you be running into them? Do they live near? Legally make sure all the i's are dotted and the t's crossed. Of course the two oldest will remember their bio mom..that's to be expected, but you sound like the best mom any kid could ever have. Won't Xmas and Mothers day be special at your house?
hale_bopp
16 years ago
What a joy it is to read these posts!!! Love it! You should save them onto your computer so that you have them someday.

Blessings,
Haley
jannie
16 years ago
Good news! Thanks so much for sharing! Reminded me of two things
1. A childless neighbor and husband travelled to Europe to adopt two Romanian rothers. They'd been put in an orphanage because their parents couldn't afford to feed them. I think they were about 4 and 6 at the time. Both were thin and short for their age. Doctors said they were 2 years behind normal growth charts but they would eventually catch up, given good nutrition. By high school both were normal-sized.
2. Another neighbor worked for the county placing children in foster homes. One day she resigned and brought home 2 of the girls they had just adopted. I remember that day like it was yeserday. When I heard one of the girls call my neighbor "Mom" I almost cried! I knew they would be fine. You and your girls will be too! Good luck, congratulations, best wishes, etc.
marygailv
16 years ago
It is so heartwarming to read your threads and know how thrilled you are. I have the same questions as Lily326 as to their mother eventually showing up at family affairs or is she someone you never saw.
trishaw
16 years ago
I need to make sure I am not snacking when I read your posts. I just got the biggest lump in my throat and could not swallow! I swear, tears of joy just reading your happiness! You all are in my thoughts and prayers as you create this new wonderful family together!

Trish
country_bumpkin_al
16 years ago
As a Mother that adopted viz a private adoption (we knew and were friends with the natural parents). My daughter was almost 3 when we got her in 1975 (didn't adopt until 1979)..I can tell you now, the 2 oldest girls probably have questions they don't know or understand how to ask. Let them know it's ok to ask questions..and be gently honest with them. You can do this by explaining their Mom wasn't able to take care of them. I never fed my daughter the "your Mom loved you so much she made this choice" line..it was a lie and I wasn't going to lie to her...no matter how fairy tale'ish it sounded. From the time we filed to adopt until the adoption process was over...my daughter knew everything that was taking place and could hardly wait for her last name to be changed! lol

My daughters birth Mom eventually turned her life around and she and OUR daughter have a relationship..but my daughter will also tell you that she loves her birth Mom..but I am her MOTHER!*S*
deemarie5500
16 years ago
This would make a wonderful story for TV.

So happy for all of you!
Dee
williamsburgjane
16 years ago
Thank you for the update. Its so great that there are other good moms and dads out there. My mom and dad adopted my brother when he was 6 weeks old. We have always been close and the older we get, the closer we are.
sheilajoyce_gw
16 years ago
Love your updates!

Whew...what a day!

Comments (29)

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