Touching your hands ......having lost a parent and a child many years ago the loss is hard to grasp...but I will share with you what was said to me " take the very best of what he was about, make it your own and pass it on "..it is the gift of that person and is what all of us are about charlotte

Hello Everyone, this update is long overdue. After my last post, we got a Custody Evaluator involved. After five months of psych tests, evaluations, mandatory counselling etc, etc, the Custody Evaluator saw through the ex-wife's crap. It was such a relief to have someone take the time to really look into what was going on. The girls have been through hell and back. They are in counselling now. The Custody Evaluator gave 50/50 access and will determine legal custody very shortly. It was confirmed that the ex-wife was doing drugs, was drugging the girls, was leaving them alone and in fact and generally being an absolute horrible parent. The Evaluator actually said in the meeting, "you abandoned your children for years" But, the system still favours mothers, particularly ones that cry the blues and say they have changed, and very generously gave her 50/50. Not that we don't want the girls to see their mother, but the damage she continues to do with her extreme alienation tactics is horrible. The girls therapist is going to report back to the custody evaluator in a few months and will no doubt confirm the girls' issues are being caused by the mother's alienation tactics. Hopefully they can force her to stop emotionally abusing them. It is painful to watch. I can't imagine what they are going through when they go to her house. While she cried that she is a changed woman, she is continuing to do the same things before the evaluation. By the way, my and my husband's psych tests came back very positive. While we have not had the opportunity to review the ex-wife's, we already know that it came back that she is seriously emotionally screwed up. We know that she has Borderline Personality Disorder. She has been court ordered into regular therapy. She has been court ordered not to use drugs or alcohol when the girls are with her. There are many more restrictions. The good news is that there is hope and the girls have not been taken away from their father simply because he is a man. The bad news is that she is continuing to get away with her behaviour simiply because she is the woman/mother. I want to thank all of you who recommended certain books and sites etc. They were all very helpful and helped us cope with this stressful situation. Please keep your fingers crossed that in a few months, the father is granted sole legal custody. The mother is completely incapable of putting the girls first and of acting reasonably. He is a great father and has always put them first and I have no doubt always will. It was so nice to finally have an "official" state in front of everyone that the girls were living in a very stable andloving home until the mother decided to get back into their lives and cause havoc. We pray that this ordeal is over soon so that we can all get back to living.

Tibbrix- I loved Frappe but it was way too light , especially on the stairwell. Hollykay is correct about Straw Hat having green undertones. Because of living in the woods I already have a greenish light coming in that area so I am finding anything yellow or yellow green goes greenish. While I don't like reddish undertones, I am finding that I need a color to counter the greenish light. I'm also looking at Mushroom by Ellen Kennon that was suggested by Funcolors. I sure don't want to do any worse than the orangey beige I have currently.

Oh, I hope they're able to figure out why she's got a fever and that they're able to whip it and that she's back home and healthy really soon, Sandra. I'm glad they kept her, though, because enforced rest is a good thing when you're that ill. (((((Sandra and Lady)))))