Whoa boy. Been there. Done that. My hormones were post-partum though. Not much better. ;). Wait, I can't blame this year's indecision on post-partum though....

Short answer is that usually your first instincts are the ones to follow. It's hard to know if your tastes have truly changed or whether you're just getting decision jitters.

I'll give you my opinion. Soapstone would work better with 100 year old anything. I'd do that. Good luck!

I'd use the plywood until I was certain. I would not purchase a counter until you are more sure in whichever direction.
I have to disagree with breezy in that many items got changed in our plan from what we thought we wanted. The more you research and see, the better the chance to have your vision evolve. Our kitchen is almost entirely different from what we started out to do. The only things we have that we knew from the beginning is the vintage stove, chrome elements and black tile edging for our bs. Our layout changed (a lot). Our cabs went from wood to white. Our counters from granite to soapstone to marble to quartzite to stainless to laminate with chrome edges, until we ended up with Corian, just beating out the Caesarstone that was in contention too. Our floors went from no idea, through many changes and need to be redone after all, due to the materials failing.
We got some ss elements in our kitchen, which we had not wanted at all at first, and added a wall oven to the plan late in the game. The micro shelf, venthood and wall oven are ss, so those would have surprised me a few years ago. I even changed the size of the sink cab and base cab next to it at the time I placed the order on the spur of the moment.

If your gut is telling you to reconsider, I'd stop and sleep on it all a bit. Either look would be lovely, but you have to figure out which one is "the" one for you. You hear GWers say all the time that we wished we were doing more than one kitchen because we'd love to do several choices of each element. Having so much to choose from can make it difficult sometimes.

I would only slightly modify dianalo's advice to read "but you have to figure out which is 'the' one for your room."

Once your cabinets are installed, try both looks by cutting cardboard "countertops" and painting one side light and the other dark. See how each looks with your natural light during the day and with your installed lighting at night. If you live with the soapstone-ish look for a day or two and the paler look for a day or too, you may be lucky enough to get to 60/40 or something even more decisive.

Best wishes.

Ouhhh. Just thought of something someone posted to me in Bathrooms when I was having difficulty deciding on faucets. It worked for me.

Imagine I told you that one of your choices was unavailable now. What if there was a worldwide shortage on soapstone tomorrow? There was no way to get it at all. You HAD to use granite. What's your first reaction? Are you sad? Would you shrug and run out to find a cool slab of BA?

Did that help? :-)

Good advice above! I'd add that decisions can and do get made "wrong", so going slow does seem wise. As well as accepting that not all your choices will be optimal. So for something as prominent and expensive as counters, treading slowly and carefully seems prudent. Living with the setup a while is indispensable. Thought experiments can only go so far, but you actually have the opportunity to do this experiment: live with it, get samples, sit and feel one possibility and then the other.

I kind of like honor's suggestion, but I agree that you should move slowly. It's a hugh costly decision.

There are plenty of pictures here at GW with both combinations. Look at those, print them out, post them around your room. When you look at the pics, which combo gives you that fuzzy warm aaaahhhhh feeling? Then go with it and don't look back!

Oh and, when did you become so indecisive? When you entered the TKO ZONE!!! LOL!!

Maybe you could do both in different areas of the kitchen space?

Wish I had the secret answer to help you decide, but I don't! I have ALWAYS been torn (for years) which countertop material I liked and if I was to do a new kitchen, what I would use. Well, I'm in the same spot as you, my white cabinets were easy, I knew I wanted the inset shaker doors, with exposed hinges. I too, love both soapstone and marble, but because I live so nearby FL Joshua, I decided on soapstone. My cabinets arrive in a couple weeks too, and I often still think of "should I", but I'm just determined to stick with my choice, I know I love kitchens with soapstone, and I think once it it is, I'll love it 100% and will finally put the marble to rest! Good luck!

The more choices you have, the more difficult it becomes to choose. That's why Henry Ford only made black cars. There was no question of choice holding up the sales process.

The modern thing would be to choose "all of the above". You can have soapstone on the sink run, granite on the range run, and even a third material, like butcher block for a third counter run. It CAN all work together if you have the same cabinet style unifying the choices.

Clooney, I feel for you.
Like you I always knew I wanted white painted inset cabinets
and some form of white subway style backsplash. That was easy.

Picking the counters, however, was so hard.
You can track my indecision 2011
on the pages of Gardenweb starting last winter --
I think I considered every conceivable counter from soapstone and marble
to Caesarstone and white granites.

In the end I made a nearly split second decision to buy honed black pearl granite.
I think my DH, who played little role in the rest of the kitchen design, played a big role in that decision.
He was afraid that the lighter granites or marble would make the kitchen "too pretty".
We were both afraid that all the oiled soapstone we'd seen was too black.

I do think that if you have a darker island top (waterloxed walnut) like I have
a lighter perimeter counters look nicer than my dark counters.
Take a peak at Jillandmatt's kitchen for a great example of what I'm talking about.
The play of light and dark helps you eye move around the room.

Every counter choice seems to have its own pros and cons.
I don't think my counters are perfect aesthetically.
But they are super functional.
If I don't love them, I'm at least content with them.

I'm not sure there is any lesson learned, or comfort, in this story!

Thank you to all for you replies! Definitely some great suggestions. It is also comforting to know that I am not the only one who has this problem!

mercymygft - I think you are right, being TKO has done this to me!

I know that I shouldn't rush this decision because it's a big deal, but at the same time I would like to have everything all done by Christmas since we host the holiday and my 1st child's birthday is the day after so we have a lot of entertaining to do coming up. And the fact that I've lived in a makeshift kitchen for 4 years is making me anxious. At least I've been able to use by Bluestar during this time! (the only thing staying in the "new" kitchen)

Francoise - I do *Love* Jillandmatt's kitchen, and also Nini's recently redone kitchen with the light perimeter and walnut island. That is what is making it so hard!

I think both styles would look nice in my house - Four square colonial built in 1920, but perhaps as Breezy points out, the soapstone would fit the era of the house a little better. And yes, I think I would be bummed if Soapstone wasn't even an option so perhaps that is my answer.

My husband thinks I am over thinking it -which I probably am :)- and he thinks we should stick to our original design, which we might.

Maybe going out to the stone yard in a few weeks will help make the decision!

Until then....I hope I don't drive myself crazy!

clooney, my husband says I over think everything to, and I do. We have build before, and it never becomes easier for me, I always struggle, but I can tell you, it always seems to fall into place perfectly, and everything I struggled with - seems like it didn't matter in the end. I have an old house we are restoring, and soapstone just seems to fit the period, we are using marble in the bathrooms, so I'll have both! The other draw for soapstone is that it is non- porous. I worried about the darkness, but you don't need to oil it at all. After visiting FL Joshua's showroom, and viewing an old, very old - science lab counter-top, I knew soapstone would work and can take a beating!