There was one yesterday near Jones that was a 4.0. I felt it in Broken Arrow which is SE of Tulsa. I felt it sitting at my desk and the little light on my desk shook like crazy for about 10 seconds. I wasn't sure what it was but thought it must have been an earthquake. About 30-40 minutes had past when I googled "Broken Arrow earthquake" and discovered that there had been one in Jones 37 minutes earlier. Jones is about 3/4 the way down the Turner Turnpike toward OKC from Tulsa. I could hardly believe I felt it from 70-80 miles away but I sure did.

It's a sad situation and when you've been with someone for that long, starting over seems close to impossible. I was in a similar situation a few years ago. When my best friend died of cancer at age 49, something clicked in me and I knew my marriage would soon end. I finally realized that this was the only life I was going to get, and it was up to me to make it what I wanted it to be. And I wanted to experience joy, fulfillment, and independence for the first time. I couldn't do that as long as I was in the unhealthy relationship, blaming him, feeling sorry for myself, and building resentment. I didn't like the person I had become. Leaving the security of marriage was scary, lonely, and difficult, but now, five years later, I'm much happier, more useful to the ones I love, and I've found a real, honest, respectful and loving relationship with a man that I never dreamed was possible. My ex-husband is happier, too. I'm not telling you to leave, but I do urge you to do some self-exploration and find out who it is that you want to be for the rest of your life. The years go by fast and we never know how many we have left. Good luck.

I have walked in your shoes, and here is what I did. First, I joined a mommy and me (child) class and met other moms with a child the same age. Even though the class only met one morning a week, a few of the moms and I would get together with the kids and do things together. It felt so good to talk to other women who were going through the same things I was and we talked about all sorts of things. We would go to the park and talk, or meet at each others houses. We would go for walks together just to get out of the house, or get together at a McDonalds to let them play in the balls. We met each others husbands and would get together and barbecue. Some of those friendships have now lasted years as we have each gone on to have more children who attended preschool together (get on waiting lists now) and now the kids are in gradeschools, and several of us are still friends. Even those that went on to other schools and built new friendships...we still keep in touch and are there for each other if needed. As for alone time, we all need some! What we were advised was to get someone to watch the child one evening a week for a short time...like 1 1/2- 2 hours while my husband and I went out and got a bite to eat...just the two of us. Wednesday is great for this since it is mid week. Then perhaps on Saturday mornings, your husband could spend time with his daughter, while you go out to breakfast with your friends, or go get a haircut or work out at a gym. Also, if you have family who can watch your daughter on a Saturday night, it will do you both good to maintain "date night" with your husband. Even a quick movie or dinner can refresh us and give us energy to be better parents. Also, many churches have something called "mothers morning out" and they will watch your child for free. In exchange for the free childcare, like once every 6 weeks, you have to volunteer at the church to help watch the little ones on one of the mornings. The moms who take advantage of this program all take turns. Some towns also have Gymboree made expecially for moms of toddlers...it is an indoor place that has many climbing things for toddlers....it may be set up in a church somewhere in your town, or it may be a permanent business in a shopping plaza, but they also can be a great place to be with a toddler to "get out of the house" and meet other moms with toddlers looking for friends with children the same age, just like you. You will find how important these new friendships are because you are going through many of the same things at the same time with children the same age. They become very important for sharing all sorts of information. Through these friendships, you will build a life that is much more enjoyable. You need these friendships, especially if you do not have family in the area. Also, have a toddler seat put on the back of your bike and take your little one our for bike rides. you both will enjoy the change in scenery and the fresh air. You could also consider a jogging stroller and roller blades for more excercise. Watch the papers (classified) and garage sales as these often show up for sale when someones child outgrows them...we sold ours this way. And last, with a toddler who is having a tantrum...sometimes, by just putting the child in a stroller and going for a walk can help enormously. The fresh air and change of scenery can do wonders. Another thing that helps a cranky little one is letting them splash in cool water. It captures their attention and is very entertaining for them. Just watch them very closely. you can give them some measuring cups, plastic cups etc. Water can be an enormous help to distract them. Another huge help can be to play music and dance with them, or march and give her something to play like the musical triangle, or clickers or something, and march and dance around the house to gether to the music. And last...remember that naps are really important for her. They get tired and cranky, and it helps mom too. The days can be long but the years are sooo short. I wish you the best!

Wow, that is really cool -- I *love* these. But why are they so expensive?? I love them ... isn't this reclaimed material? Shouldn't it cost less not more? I know, I am totally out-of-it in terms of cost. I was in a store where designers sell mistakes and there were some very neat stools for approx ~200 ea. When I expressed dismay the lady got quite indignant: I should see how much they were at the fancy design store - up around 1K. For a stool? Really??? We made stools in 5th grade woodworking. Not so nice I know but really??? So I don't know what my price point is, but I need 3 maybe 4 of them so less is more for sure. I was haunting CL for a brief while but that was kinda depressing... positive, gotta stay positive. Thanks, Zoe -- this will definitely be an inspiration so I really appreciate getting headed in a right direction. I do wonder if they're comfy....