Leaf piles from space - that's a first :) What I would do with 17816 tons of leaves is give half to charity, a quarter to my extended family, and keep a quarter for myself, although I've been debating that last part with myself - sometimes it seems selfish, other times it seems too little and makes me feel resentful. But then some people say a windfall (!) of leaves brings bad luck to the winner, so giving them all away to needy composters - say north of the treeline - might be the best option after all.

"Nice camera work, vern!"' ---Thanks, now I know what to use the macro setting on my camera for. "Let me put it this way-- I've got a touch of OCD, and it would bother me all to hell, too, to install it like that. But from an industry standpoint, no, there's nothing wrong with it" My tile installer spent a good part of one day and the next morning trying to lay out the pattern to get it just right. He played with it and played with it until the company foreman showed up and basically said that it was taking him to long. After that I could see and sense the installer was angrier then hell and BAM all of a sudden the tile started getting hung really fast. Yesterday when then company foreman looked at the chips he implied that because they had to play with the pattern so much to get it right that these things happen. It wasn't what I wanted to hear. A little sympathy woud have gone a long way. There is also a chip in the middle of one of the accent strips that I hadn't posted before. Anyway after sleeping on it all nite I'm still undecided on what to do

From a completely unbiased eye I read sherilynn's post as genuinely trying to help you (or anyone reading this, for that matter) get all your ducks in a row. The more information you have the better. Think of it when one of your children is sick and you take them to the doctor: the more information you can give the RN / MD about your child's state, the better-informed and the better able they are to give you useful, helpful feedback. And the better you are to come back with "no, that won't work because of X" or "we've already tried that" or "okay, let's give that a try." No one knows your children better than you. It came across that sherilynn, as well as others, are trying to give you a firmer place from which to start. As you yourself wrote, there were (gross) misunderstandings on both your and the designer's part(s). Let's say you had a complete list, written, not drawn out via AutoCAD (and to be fair, no one was suggesting you master a new program, they were only writing that that was what they had done), of all you wanted accomplished in each room. Yes, you did walk the designer through your house, room by room, but even if it were all typed out so that you two could have checked them off together, you'd be part of the way there. No one is suggesting you don't intimately know your house -- you live there, after all! But the designer doesn't know it, and he (or even a GC) having your list would make it that much easier for them to come back to you with an estimate. I know you're talking about drawings / plans, but I'm following sherilynn's point. And she really does make many, excellent and highly useful points, maybe not to you right now but for the general point of remodeling / building. As I've written to you before, we are thick in our whole-house remodel and I can see the validity (and sanity- and money-saving utility) of her points. Back to the analogy of you with your children, no one cares about their welfare more than you, so it behooves you to go in to any meeting pertaining their well-being (choosing a babysitter, nursery school ...) having done as much of your due-diligence as possible. You and your family will be the ones living through the remodel and then living with the after-effects of said remodel, so naturally you'll want it to be the house / design you really want and which really works for you. It's true that you've asked many questions of this forum and received exponentially more replies filled with wonderful advice as well as real kindness. Everyone who has taken the time to respond to you is only trying to help you and your project, and many of us are bringing our own experiences and cases of 20/20 hindsight to try and help. I believe that is why you're here, asking for help? What you are undertaking is incredibly stressful. You have two small children and it appears you also work outside the home. ??? Plus, it is so clear given your posts that you are working really hard on planning this...

After thinking about my initial question, I believe the question what would you do if it was your yard has a lot to do with my demeanor during the on site discussion, and my tendency to listen way more than I talk. I listen for cues when the client is talking, but if they stop talking and I don't chime in, that is when they feel the need to pick my brain. Sometimes I will say, yeah, your property "needs a lot of work" aka its a mess and we need to bulldoze everything and start from scratch (which is what I would do if I owned the property but may be too aggressive a suggestion.) I tend not to start out with the 20 questions approach as I can come across a bit too analytical or should I say clinical. I would have a tendency to follow up with the "why" question if someone said they wanted a quiet secluded sitting retreat. Asking too many questions can come across as too probing into their personal lives. They need to be the ones to share rather than me being the questioner. We all have different personalities as do our clients. @GardenGal - yes, they may be probing to see if we prefer a particular style which would be conveyed if we did tell them what we would do in our own yard - good point. @RevGardens - getting them to do all the talking is exactly what our job should be. When a client is clueless about providing their own thoughts about what they may want or need, that is an indicator of when we do need to grill them with the 20 questions routine. I agree with you it is tempting to respond to the what if it was your yard... question with a sacastic or humor, but we have to deflect the question and understand what they are really asking or us not saying. @Yardvaark - "to see if we have really bad ideas" is at the heart of wanting to reply with something sarcastic or over the top. Sometimes people will ask me so what kind of "water feature" are you suggesting? To which I think to myself but never speak is "you know, one of those cute flying cherubs with birds lining the basin".