You are not alone! I found the decision making process overwhelming and second guessed so many things throughout the process (which could be why it took so long to get the ball rolling LOL). But now that things are *nearly* done and I can see what the finished product will look like, I am thrilled. Although, I am not making a decision on a backsplash any time soon! Take a look at what you GC has to show you re: the molding, then go with what you like. It does get better!

Good luck to you!

I feel your exhaustion. I can't imagine being in the middle of a major reconstruction. Our kithen was a quick, simple remodel of existing footprint, but yes, I lost major sleep over every little decision. The people on GW call it TKO= Totally Kitchen Obsessed.
It must come from our inexperience of doing things like this. We see all the lovely kitchens, and not sure ours will make us go "wow". I'm sure your will, if only because you care so much. Good luck and try to get some sleep. :)

I understand what you're describing; I fretted over every minor detail -- definitely to the TKO point -- because I had no experience in such matters, and thus had little confidence in my choices. However, once we started the actual construction I got remarkably centered -- just seeing how great the cabinets, hardware, etc. look, I began to get confidence. I am with KayceeFL though --- I am waiting until it's all done before I make BS decisions. Actually, I am also sadly behind on lighting fixture decisions, but I could conceivably live with hanging bulbs for a while, if I had too. It's all good!!

babushka - I feel like I could have written your post. I think it's very, very common. This too shall pass. I, personally, am feeling 100% better than I was 3 or 4 weeks ago. The prize at the end makes it all worth it!!! SQ

Yes, I feel your pain. We remodeled our kitchen 6 years ago and may be moving and doing it all again!! aaaahhh!!

Anyway, yes I remembered feeling totally overwhelmed and questioned everything I had chosen. Had many meltdowns, much to my husband's dismay! It is hard to spend all the money you are spending without getting to see how everything will work together until it is complete.... I think that is why we continually second guessing ourselves. But trust me, just hang in there... it will be OKAY! ;-)

mercy makes a great point -- you're making huge (in terms of $$$) decisions without being able to truly see how it will work together, so a decent amount of anxiety is totally normal. In fact, we had never really seen what our cabinets would look like until they were delivered -- we looked at some basic ones at the cabinetmaker, and sort of mixed/matched/added features (sort of "this door plus a bead around the edge, this drawer front but not as much curve", etc.) When they delivered the cabinets, I was SO happy to see how it turned out. Before that truck was unloaded, though -- I probably should have been sedated! So, what we're all saying is -- it's perfectly normal and exactly why you can come to this forum for support.

yup, :-)

I can relate, too. When I signed off on my sample door, I spent the entire weekend freaking out. It's too red!!! OMG, what have I done??? I've made a huge mistake!! Should I stop everything?? I thought DH was going to kill me. I've calmed down now. LOVE my door.

I changed my hardware decision due to quality issues which changed my light decision. I've really tried to have all my ducks in a row and this threw me. I haven't seriously considered paint or backsplash because there's only so many decisions I can make at one time!

Oh, I can relate!

The scope of my remodel has expanded and contracted and expanded again as my life has morphed over the past year. And then, as if the gods are chuckling at my plans, I am told that I can't do some of what I want. And those are the times when I want to ball up my fists, stamp my foot and act like a totally unreasonable 2 year old. LOL! And if I put another sample paint patch on the wall, I may cover all over my old paint job.

Suzanne

"OMG, what have I done??? I've made a huge mistake!! Should I stop everything?? I thought DH was going to kill me."

LOL srahndennis, this could describe many moments in my marriage thus far!

babushka, I completely relate, and I'm only doing a minor update of kitchen surfaces. It helps to realize that some things are easily changeable (hardware), and others you might notice less than you think later (molding, I'd guess). Do you have some inspiration photos you can turn to when you get overwhelmed? That's helped me stay on track when I start second guessing myself.

Oh yea.

Our reno started out as a job to replace our 40 year old carpeting and we wound up doing a down-to-the-studs-and -plywood-moving-walls whole house reno. Two years of planning, 6 months of construction, countless sleepless nights, one marvelous KD, one very calm and understanding GC and we were done. It was worth every penny and anxious moment.

The hardest part I found was carrying the storyboard around with it's little 4"x4", and if lucky 6"x6", samples of everything and brochures of the stuff I couldn't get samples of (appliances, taps, lighting), and trying to envision what is all going to look like in the end. That's where the KD came in - she kept me on "our" path. But I have to admit I did get her to pick all the paint colours and moldings.

Unfortunately when I thought we were done we weren't because then there is the new accent colours to choose, the accessories, window coverings, area rugs etc. Ten months later we're still working with that because I was so tired of making decisions and spending money. But I kind of miss the whole process which is why I'm still here.

My cabinet maker told me that that there isn't just one "right decision." There are always several options that will be great choices.

Thank goodness I'm not alone...

I've been going through all of this for the past 6 months, questioning every decision, second guessing myself at everything. DH has been super sweet during the whole process but I know he bites his lip at my meltdowns, which are very often now.

We are completely DIY and the reno to the kitchen morphed into a whole house reno. So I'm exhausted not only from making decisions and spending money but physically exhausted as well.

My six year old DS said to me the other day "Mommy how come you have more gray in your hair with the new kitchen" Yes that was the start of another meltdown.

We still have quite a bit do do, crown, trim, paint, and hardware has been a nightmare.....

You know what.... I made several mistakes, despite being totally TKO and poring over every single detail and choice. The bottom line is I still love my almost done kitchen and find it 100% more enjoyable to cook in (despite not having counters full in or a stove hooked up).
You just have to hope that any mistakes are not huge, and/or can be fixed.We have to live with ours, and we still love the kitchen overall.

Decison fatigue - that is what I have.
When my builder asked me about light fixtures, I just couldn't speak. I hadn't thought about light fixtures for my house. Never done this before, can you tell? Picking out light fixtures for a whole house seemed completely impossible, I just wanted to curl up into a fetal position and start sobbing. You know what I did? I said I didn't care and he could decide. Who knows what I'll be getting!

momo - I did the same thing with a couple of options on my cabinets. I really didn't care and let my cabinet guy make the choice based on his experience.

thanks all, i feel so much better! i survived the templating and made all of those decisions and bought some time on the crown molding decision - they have to find some samples. i am learning to ask "when do you absolutely need a decision from me on this?" - that seems to help.

thanks again!

Definitely, in fact was thinking of starting a thread on this -- the second guessing. Nerve wracking, and I think the more you research and the more you learn, the harder it is to make choices confidently. Truth is, there are often many good choices, not just one or "the one." Even though I am really happy with the kitchen there are still things I am wondering about whether I should have chosen differently.

You have found my problem and articulated it well. Decision fatigue plus buyer's remorse.
Every thing decided removes all others from the table. My dark cabinets with light countertops means I won't ever get to stroke those beautiful soapstone counters that I have dreamed about as I make my morning tea.
But I want dark cabinets and marble or other light counters. But then I don't get soapstone.....mental paralysis.....

=) I have gotten to the point where I "take" the first thing I like, that fits with the "vision"!!! Both my contractor and I now know that I CANNOT have too many choices or I deliberate forever, over analyzing and researching...He ends up confused and I end up exhausted!

We are nearing the end of our house construction. And, last night I had a nightmare about being stuck in a lighting shop and not being able to decide what I wanted. Lighting has me on lock-up! There are so many choices. And, I just can't seem to find anything that I LOVE for a lot of the fixtures I need.

I've had a few things that I just couldn't seem to make a decision on. Things like where on the sink the faucet should be mounted and such. For those, I've posted them on facebook and had my friends weigh in on them. That's been helpful.

YES!! I keep reminding myself no one is going to die here it's just a kitchen!! I have decision fatigue for sure! DH makes a decision & NEVER looks back - how does he do that??

Nice to know that I am not alone on this...

Me too!
I'm glad there are so many options for a kitchen, but some days I HATE that there are so many options!

no worries aliris19, no offense taken. i appreciate all of the replies - brief and succient or more wordy :)

Exactly! (Hence the user name) And I picked that name b/4 the demo....ugh!

anxiety returned. actually put my marble countertop install on hold this AM, woke up in the middle of the night - not sure the slab i selected is right color.... oh good god!

need to take a break from all of it today and tomorrow will re-consider my options including possibly selecting a new slab. had to make frenzied calls to GC and fabricator to stop the pickup before it was too late.

Oh, no, babushka!! Your slab is gorgeous!!! You're right to take some time away. Sending good thoughts your way.

DF=Decision Fatigue! We broke ground on our house in late April and I already have it. It is really hard to visualize what something will look like. I have to choose what I like and then PRAY that I will like it in/on the house. It is the ultimate challenge. That is how I am trying to think about it...to stay focused. Today is a great day because the roof is going on and that is the one decision I didn't have to make...because all the houses in our neighborhood have to have the same color/style of roof! LOL!

It hits me at least once a day.

Especially bad since I planned most of it out & signed contracts before discovering GW. Ah, if only I had found you six months ago......

Sometimes I wonder if I seriously screwed up something & will have to live with "it" forever after. (It took us so long to get around to this renovation, don't know if there will be a second time.....)

But, I've usually regrouped. So far, so good. Doubly good because it's all been in my head -- how it will all go together. I looked & looked, but never found a photo or sample kitchen that fit my "vision" -- I made it up myself (with a little help from DH). Plus, we also replaced all the floors downstairs and repainted almost everthing, with some drastic changes (dark stained trim everywhere changed to white semigloss, all wallpaper removed, way different colors, etc.).

Granite goes in tomorrow!!!!!! Fear and trepidation have set in tonight, in anticipation. The entire kitchen vision is keyed to the granite.....((((((help)))))))!

(BTW, the granite is Sienna Bordeaux, which the granite yard here tells me is the same as Typhoon Bordeaux.)

I can totally relate as well... my current challenge is picking paint colors for kitchen/dr...just picked up three more sample sizes at the paint store, we now have seven to consider! I already sent my choices to GC, he was pressuring us for colors, but now I know he doesn't need them until Friday so I'm deliberating further...

Late to the party, but I am so exhausted by the decisions that I had to respond. Was up until 1am last night picking out (then looking up specs for, and then deciding placement of) an air switch, soap dispenser and a side sprayer. Turned out my faucet already had a side sprayer. Duh.

The stakes seem so large (you'll has to live with it, it's so expensive) and it's *yours*. Plus, like many other folks on this board, I'm one of those obsessive, detail oriented types. And wouldn't have a designer make all the decisions for me even if I could afford one. All the attention I gave to the rest of the house's remodel paid off, so at least I know it will be worth it.

Thanks for posting this. I can't really say to friends who haven't remodeled "I'm so tired of picking out stuff". And yes, I feel incredibly lucky to be able to do this at all.

Oh yeah babu - I, and many others are right there with you. Trust in your vision! It will be great.

Remember--it's only a kitchen. It'll be fine.

thanks all for the kind words of support! today is a good day. i signed off on the replacement cab door order, saw a sample cut out from my marble slab (beautiful!) and figured out how to spend 4 days in paris at the end of a business trip i need to go on! i soooo need to stay in a hotel for a bit to get out of this construction zone! :)

Yes,I understand and share your feelings. I am about to be in week 8. I am excited beyond words AND sick of it. Sick of the decision making that seems never ending, sick of the dust,the noise, the crew, the clutter. Sick even of the cabinets that I waited with baited breath to arrive and now are occupying my entire living room.

I did not think I would feel this way--I have waited so long for this reno. But I definitely am feeling reno/decision making fatigue. However, I cannot falter; my contractor is top notch re: contruction but has nothing to offer re: aesthetics, so I have to stay alert at all times. Good luck to all my renovation campadres!

Enjoy it!! Eat lots of Berthillon ice cream and it will all go away. :)

Also a little late to this thread, but I will throw out there as the owner of a 95% finished kitchen (oh that last 5% is taking so long!!)---most of those decisions we wrestled with? They really don't matter one way or the other. Once you start using the space, it all settles in and you'll forget about half of the things you stressed over. (Faucet handles?? I know I was upset when I couldn't get the handles I wanted on the lead-free faucet our code requires and had elaborate plans to replace them later...but now I can't remember why or with what?!?)

There are really only a handful of decisions we would actually change in our remodel, and of those only one was something I actually debated/wrestled with---and that one turned out to be fixable, so our cabinetmaker is off fixing it now (and not even charging us although it was our decision!) Plus there are a bunch of things that I thought were compromises at the time that I love now, which pretty much balances the iffy choices out.

So, basically---don't worry! It all works out in the end, however long it takes to get there.