This is my first time posting or publicly asking for any advice, I have talked to others, and they do have opinions but they are not in the same situation as I am so hard for me to take their advice. I am a step father of a 13 year old boy and my wife and I also have an 8 year old son together. We have been happily married for over 9 years. The problem is I have had to bite my tongue so many times in the past 9 years, but have done so because I knew it was best for my SS and our relationship. I don't want to paint a dark picture of my SS's father but he is often out of work, way behind on support and is more of a video gaming friend to my SS than he is a father figure. My wife and I are both in our late 30's, successful and are able to provide for both of the boys to the point they never have needed anything. The problem is my SS, who is a very good boy A/B student and good manners seems to get twice of everything and doesn't seem to appreciate what he has. He basically has the best of both worlds. On Christmas he gets two, he has one with us and then gets to go get showered with gifts again at his father house. Even though his father struggles financially, which we have overlooked 100%, he often finds the means to attend NASCAR races, and professional sporting events. What brought this to a head is, it is his father's weekend coming up and he called last night to tell my SS he had just been "given" tickets to a NFL game this Sunday, of course he was elated and happy, I was happy for him but the fact that his younger brother (who is 3 times a football fan) won't be attending bothers me. Of course his younger brother states he wanted to go and not that my SS rubbed it in but he didn't try and soften the blow by telling him he couldn't go because it was just him and his father going and they only had two tickets. So I told my wife I need to do something neat with our 8 year old son since the SS is going to the game. She stated that it is not a competition, and I understand that but we have ALWAYS planned every major thing we do, vacations, trips, even the not so major things like going out for dinner or to see the new movie we all want to see around my SS's schedule. It just does not seem fair to our younger son, I understand the situation and don't want to be spiteful, but I know it bothers the younger boy, he sees it as he gets to have two of everything(vacation, B-Days, Christmas etc..). Any suggestions on how as a SF I can deal with this? We have talked to the SS and ask him to be a bit more mindful of what he says but we are a very talkative family and always discussing how our days and weekends go. They are both good boys I just do not want it to become a contest of how much cool stuff my SS and his father can do compared to what my son and me can do. What do others in the sem situation do to try and keep the balance?
Sorry I rambled a bit but this is really hard for me to get through...
naughtykitty
imamommy
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