I think it is good that SD expressed her feelings. She should let her mother know how she feels.

And good for you for playing it cool in a situation that I'm sure you wanted to scream/cry about! It must be terrible to see your SKs hurt by their mother's actions, or lack, thereof. I think you handled the whole thing really well.

Thanks LH. It was really hard to not show how I was feeling on the inside.

On one hand I was glad bm was finally making the effort to contact the kids. On the other hand I have this too little/too late feeling. For years now she has been mostly absent with little spurts of contact like this one. This is such a hard situation for them to deal with.

And middle sd has the hardest time with it. I think its because ss was too little to know bm and older sd was old enough to know exactly what bm had done and see her for who she truly is.

Middle sd saw bm as wonderful and then all of a sudden gone. She didn't understand why and has stuggled with this for years. The little attention from bm was like a million dollars to the poor girl and she often put bm on a pedestal. Its only this past year she is starting to really see through what has been going on and realize that bm is not living up to being a mom. And I know it is hard for her.

Wow! Glad to know you and DH are helping SD with her school and school work. She did accomplish alot and should be really proud of herself. BM was probably very surprised to receive that reaction. BUT SD needed to get that off of her chest and out of her heart. Hopefully BM will get over the initial shock soon and become an integral part of her daughter's life again really soon.

So last night after the kids had gone to bed I went by their rooms to check on them, as I always do. I heard middle sd sobbing so I walked in and asked her if she was ok. She told me that since bm never responded to her text from the weekend or the other one she sent yesterday. So she called private and bm answered her cell. So SD said she hung up and resent her text. And bm never responded. SD was asking me why bm does not care about them and why she ignores them. My heart just broke for her and for a few minutes I really contemplated calling bm and giving her a piece of my mind. But then I realized that it would not help. BM would maybe be guilted into calling or texting sd back and then the same thing would happen again next time. And should me and dh really have to police bm into talking to her kids?

awww...poor kiddo. It sounds to me like she is really starting to "get" bm's bad behavior, for her to have the foresight to call BM's number private to see if she picks up, tells me that she knew in her gut BM was avoiding her, all you can do is hug her and tell her you will never leave, this is one she will struggle with for a long time.........

poor baby. My heart is breaking for her. Fine said it best just "hug her and tell her you will never leave" so sad

This is the time that really sucks - the in between 'mom is my hero' and 'mom really isn't a mom' realization time. It's SO hard on the kids AND on the adults that love them. And I know how much you want to call and lay it out for BM, make her realize her mistakes and change her actions - I'm at that same place almost daily. But you know as well as I that it won't matter. People who are as selfish and self centered as they won't ever admit to their errors, and they certainly won't change them because we 'told 'em how it is."

All we can do is show our skids through our actions and words every day that they ARE important and they ARE loved. If they hear it enough from you it will *hopefully* matter less and less that they don't hear it from their own mother.

Hugs to you both, and huge congrats on SD's grades. That is wonderful and amazing and you should all be so proud!