nobody celebrates anniversaries in our family. Both set of grandparents were happily married for over 60 years. parents are married for over 40 years. Brother is married close to 20 years. Everybody has a good marriage and half of the time nobody remembers when and who got married. If you want it to be like a celbration then do it, but don't feel like you have to. Bunch of people don't. It means nothing to many. Focus on your marriage instead! Just my opinion...:)

in the day to day business of doing chores, running errands, working, raising kids, etc., it's easy to drift apart a little here and there. If you feel this way, you should make time to talk to him and let him know how you feel. Couples need to get together every once in a while and reconnect.

Guys generally don't think like we do in terms of special occasions. If you have a guy that does, you're very lucky. and some women don't care. But if you let things go that bother you, and you don't tell him, he won't have the opportunity to do something about it before you have resentment. Then, if he disregards your feelings, the following resentment may be deserved.

For some, celebrations and gifts are not necessary, but for others it is. You are not wrong for wanting/needing this, but you are responsible for letting your husband know your wants and needs. I believe most husbands want to please their wives and are simply clueless  so itÂs up to us to show them the way.

I have a great ideaÂ

Amazon.com has *anything* you could ever want. I recommend that you create a "wish list" on Amazon which is a feature they offer. Tell your husband that you have created a wish list so that if he is ever in the mood to surprise you or doesnÂt know what to get for an anniversary or bd, etc., then he has a whole list to choose from. I really should use this myself. My DH is not a romantic and never gets me a gift. But, I would be willing to bet big bucks that if he had a list to choose from, IÂd be getting gifts on a regular basis.

IÂm on my second (and last) marriage. When I got back into the dating game, I made a list of things I had to have in a husband. After realizing my DH doesnÂt have a romantic bone in his body, I revisited that list. I did not have "romantic" on my list. My first husband was *very* romantic and I do miss it sometimes, but my guy has everything on my list and I feel truly blessed to have found him. I really should give him a break and make a "wish list" for him. :-)

Dont feel bad wantingafamily,imamommy was right that guys dont think about special occasions the way we do.

My husband has never done much in the way of my birthdays,Christmas,or our annivarsaries. He's just not a romantic guy like that.(a mechanic,so that should tell you something right there)
Me,on the other hand,have thrown him huge parties,arranged for him and I to be alone at swanky hotels together,am always the one to find the babysitter,got him tickets to this wrestling (dont get me started) match he really wanted to go to.This year he wants NASCAR tickets...

I finally gave up he is just never going to do those kinds of things for me.
But just like Jeri said,My Dh also has so many other wonderful qualities it doesnt bug me.

Maybe you should just tell DH that after all the stress it would be nice to be alone for a bit on the annivarsary.Hopefully he will take the hint.

For our anniversary, we don't buy each other gifts -- we buy something together that we both want.

I think we started that custom because our birthdays, anniversary, Mothers Day and Fathers Day all come in May, June, and July -- it was just too much all at once. But we like it because it seems to fit with the idea of an anniversary, too.

So maybe that would be an option for you two as well; it sounds like possibly this would have more appeal to your husband than feeling like he has to come up with a romantic surprise.

I hope you had a good anniversary... any update?

Thanks for all the advice everyone.
Our anniversary turned out okay.
He got me roses and a bear. It almost feels like he got the gifts because he felt obligated. They didn't seem to have much thought.
The traditional gift for anniversary 5 is something made of wood.I got him a pine tree to plant in our front yard. A symbol of our love that will hopefully grow through out the years.

I think roses and a bear are a great gift. If you look for a reason to be unhappy you will find one.

Roses,sure.Bear...not unless she's a ten year old or a person who likes to collect stuffed animals.

Still,it's the thought that counts.But maybe she was hoping for something a bit more personal.
As long as they enjoyed each other that is all that matters though.
I like the tree idea :)

I guess the tree idea also depends on who is going to have to plant it etc. And the tree may represent what she wants, not what she thinks he wants. So I wouldnt critize bear (at least low maintencance).

Truthfully? He probably DIDN'T spend that much time buying your gifts, but at least he did!! It may not be much but he exhibited effort on his part and attempted to make you happy. And besides, perhaps he saw the bear in the store and it reminded him of you. LOL!! That may sound crazy but guys sometimes think crazy! Perhaps the button eyes are the color of your eyes? Perhaps on one of your first dates he won a teddy bear at a fair for you and he wanted to revisit that moment in time. Or perhaps he's completely clueless and he has no idea what would make you happy. But regardless, he did try and that shows he cares about you. At this very moment he could be telling his buddy's about some tree she got me as a "gift" and she now wants me to plant it in the yard!! LOL!!!

I paid an extra $120.00 to have the tree delivered and planted so he wouldn't have to do it...it's a gift after all.
I don't mean to sound petty about the gifts. That really wasn't my complaint. It was his causal attitude toward our anniversary. I liked my gifts; especially the bear. But gifts don't mean much if you have to tell the other person to do it.

I'm sorry his casual attitude has hurt you. And I'm also sorry that I didn't realize THAT was the issue from the start. I truly feel for you. I've often been irritated with my husband and his less than sensitive nature!! I believe I may have told him a time or two that I really don't appreciate the fact that he lacks compassion and understanding in any regard! LOL!! He earnestly reminds me that he fully disclosed in our courtship that he's not a "feelings" kinda guy!!!! He also bluntly told me that if that's what I'm looking for then I need to become a lesbian... That's right - back off ladies, my hubby is ALL MINE!!! LOL!!

Guys are just wired differently than girls. It's probably why there is more problems between mom & step mom, than dad & step dad. Guys don't always care about the things we do. Some guys are sensitive enough to care, but they can have it hard if they are sensitive, they might be considered "wimpy" but if they are tough or macho, they are considered insensitive. It's the lucky ones that get a strong & sensitive guy.

and I know we don't like to have to tell them to do it, but I was told that if you want something from a guy, you have to ask. They aren't mind readers. and it's not only when it comes to gifts.