Wow...that sounds scary....

He's either hearing this stuff from someone or has some major jealousy issues. But I bet he heard this stuff somewhere...because kids may say things like they don't want a sibling or want them to go back where they came from when they get here but they don't want them to die and things like that. Sometimes little kids say stuff that they really don't mean for a reaction, too...like I hear that my 3 year old doesn't like me anymore many times a day somedays and it's just because I ask him to do something or correct him for something he knows he's not to do.

This kind of reminds me of this child about your son's age a few years ago out at the ball field where my fiance' plays softball. He was all excited and telling everyone how he was getting a new baby sister. So everyone looks at his mother and she explained it was his Dad and step mom, not her, but not after rolling her eyes and things. Everytime the kid made a comment about the baby and got all excited she told him to stop talking about it or rolled her eyes or something. I"m sure the little boy picked up on it and began to not like his sister. So I'm wondering if something is being said at home? Is the ex jealous because you're having his baby?

~Leslie~

Actually, as far as I know his birth mother doesn't have anything against me. She is pleased that Jacen and I are together and that he takes an active role in Logan's life. However, you never know how people really feel about you and how they act when you aren't around. However, I do feel that we have a fair relationship. Jacen and I support Logan's birth mother's decisions. When Logan told birth mom he hated her, both Jacen and I spoke with Logan and told him that it was not appropriate and he hurt her feelings. It never happened again.

I really can't see that this is run of the mill jealousy. I am concerned there may be an impulse control issue here. If Logan is unable to control what comes out of his mouth or what impulses he may have, this could be a danger in the future. I want to nip this in the bud before his face is on the news and people ask, "Where were the parents?"

Cindy

Sounds to me like you are overreacting to normal 5 year old behavior. Your boyfriend's son is acting the same way a lot of 5 year olds act when they find out they are getting a half sibling. He probably heard it from another child who recently had a brother or a sister. Little kids talk like this. He doesn't need counseling. You said yourself it didnt happen again after your boyfriend talked to him. Unless this is happening every single day and about more than a baby, then it is not a control thing. His parents seem to be aware that he is doing this so they are not ignoring this. Also he may kind of be upset about the fact that you have come into the picture. You are not his stepmother. You are dad's girlfriend and he probably is kind of jealous of that. He sees this baby coming in and taking more time away from his dad.

Also on a completely different note and this is just my opinion here. I hate the words birth mother. That implies that this woman gave birth and then gave him up to someone else to be his mother. She is his MOTHER.

Normal 5 year old behavior??????
HUH???

I'm sorry, but a 5 year old talking about penis in the butt and killing a baby IS NOT NORMAL 5 YEAR OLD BEHAVIOR!

5 year olds don't think of sadistic things like this all by themselves -- they have to be hearing it from someone else. If I were you, I'd be very, very concerned about where this boy is getting these ideas.

I'd say yes -- he does indeed need to talk to a counselor. If you can't get him to say where he's seen or heard these things and why he's saying them, then maybe a child psychologist can. But you desperately need to find out.

Normal, no way. Being jealous, being pouty, reverting to earlier behavior, acting out -- yes -- but penis in the butt -- I DON'T THINK SO!

I agree with Mom 2 4. Doesn't sound like normal behavior.

When I was sitting at the hospital with my neice (who has serious behavior problems) and speaking with her doctor, he stated that small children don't know these things on their own. Either someone is doing things to them or they are being exposed to it (somewhere) other than regular television viewing. And the comment about the baby going to die...this really bothers me. Why would a 5yr old say that unless someone had said it to him for some reason or another (perhaps so he wouldn't 'tell'). Check into it. Sounds like someone could possibly be doing something to him.

It wouldn't hurt to set up an appointment with a psychologist and explain your concerns. Sounds to me that there is more going on than meets the eye.

He didn't say that he was going to kill the baby ... he said the baby would die. It might be that he can't figure out logistically how that baby can survive in there and how its going to come out. Has anyone explained (in an age appropriate way) that the baby has everything she needs inside of of her Mommy's tummy and that this is how all babies are born? As for the penis issue ... the child may have seen you and your boyfriend or his Mom and her boyfriend doing something. When my daughter was in Kindergarten, there was a child on the bus that used similar speech. He asked girls to take their clothes off for him, etc. When parents of other children complained, he was taken into counseling and it was determined that his parents were going through a divorce and the unmarried Bio Mom had a stream of boyfriends in her home. The little boy had obviously witnessed much unbeknownst to Mom. What does BF think he should do with his son? A little one on one counseling wouldn't hurt to find out where all this emanates from.

I just want to make clear to everyone reading this and especially mom 2 4 that I call my step son's mom a birth mother because she gave birth to him and she is his mother. I cannot claim that right. He does not call me mom... he calls me Cindy. And you know what? That is okay with me. He's known me as Cindy since he was 2 years old. He probably doesn't remember a time when I was not in his life. You are right, Jacen and I are not "married" but we have lived together for quite a while and will get married in the future. Right now my concerns are my baby's health, my health, and my step son's well being.

Unlike most families that are like ours, I get along with my step son's mother. When she comes in the house to drop him off we chat about his school, his progress, and what happened for him since we last saw each other. Although our conversations are totally about Logan, they are polite and positive. When she tells us of a problem she has been having with him, we support her and speak with Logan about it.

In other words... even though our family is different, we have made it work.

Cindy

I think you are correct that Logan needs counseling. As for his comment about the baby dying, my niece (then age 5) once went up to a complete stranger (pregnant lady, smoking a cigarette) and said, "why do you want to kill your baby"? Of course, she had seen many commercials on television about how smoking harms an unborn child. There could be many reasons why Logan would make this kind of comment to you. As for his other comment to the little girl in school, it's possible that he's heard this sort of talk from the other children in school. Either way, you should talk to Logan and find out why he is saying these things. Good luck.

Cindy,
Good for you!!! I have someone in my life right now and I have invited his exwife over for dinner and to his birthday party. Others thing this is strange. They were married and divorced 15 years ago. Their kids are in their early 20's. We dont deal with her all that much but, it works with all of us. I refuse to dislike someone because a very very long time ago whey they were very young their were married because they had a child. Families are alot different these days and if every can just get along regardless of their title that is a blessing. god bless you and your family.