My kids have never seen their father for the holidays or any other time for that matter. We don't have family in the area, so we just spend a quiet holiday at home. I always look forward to a nice relaxing day.

My stepdaughter lives in another state so we trade Christmas every year. She was here for Christmas last year, so this year she will come the week after. This has always worked for all concerned.

Well, our little family does holidays pretty well. Last year boyfriend and I got his son for Christmas Day, this year we will get him for Christmas eve. This means we can go to church!!!! We get to play Santa! I am looking forward to Christmas this year!

Cindy

Ours is pretty easy, she gets them for Thanksgiving, and we get them for the first 1/2 of Christmas break (she wants them to be home for Christmas, that way she doesn't have to get them much), and she will get them for the other 1/2. It all works out.

Definitely looking forward to it! We have SS until 9pm Dec 24th. This is our first christmas morning without SS since BM finally decided she'll take him for a holiday or two. We plan to make the morning of the 24th into 'x-mas morning' at our house though so that SS has (a little) time to enjoy his gifts and the family can all be together with him that day. (we're talking about how santa may stop by our house early since he knows that SS will be visiting his mom on christmas day this year) THen next year when we have him for the real x-mas morning, it is no different than the last year (not too much, anyhow) Also, we get to play santa every year too regardless of the visit to BM's :) I anticipate the real christmas day to be somewhat 'empty' feeling without SS around though:(

Holidays for me make me very, very sad...I have to try to be very strong for my bd sake and let her know that's it's okay...It's very difficult for me to enjoy any holiday w/out her. Her father gets her for every other 4 day Thanksgiving holiday. I think it's the only time all year that he gets her for four days straight. Then for x-mas both of our families celebrate on the eve, so we split the eve up. I pick her up by 6:30-7:00. During this year, my SD's BM decided to just give her up completly, so this year SD is w/us all the time - no splitting up holidays w/anyone.
Which is also a little hard to explain to both children invovled.

Its amazing how so many have been able to work out the logistics so well. I congratulate you on your flexibility!!!

When my sister and I were younger, we would go to my dad's on Christmas Eve morning and go home around 6 pm that day. Now that we are no longer in contact with my dad, the holidays are spent divided between different members of my mom's side and my in-laws, but this year the in-laws are going to Ohio so it is only my family. Thank God. They have a bunch of kids that run wild and being pregnant is not the time I want to deal with them.

As a child of divorced parents I would like to add how much stress holidays put on the children. I remember as a child having to choose where I would be and when. Please make these decisions for your children for the most part. Do not discuss them with your ex in front of the children. And most of all, do not let your children know how sad you will be not to have them for the holiday. They will feel so guilty for something they have no control over.

I think Santa stopping by early is a great idea. He used to do that for me too. My parents told me I was so special he wanted to come see me twice! Best of luck!

RosieL - yes it's nice that things work out well in alot of cases. The one thing I don't like is the number of "Christmases" my stepdaughter has. Between my family, my husband's family, and her mom's family, there's about 5! She isn't spoiled at all, but that's an awful lot of Christmases.

That's one thing I'm sad for her about - my parents didn't divorce until I was 12, so I remember all the early whole-family Christmases. Mom, dad & the kids all together. She never got that.

Good point ABM...I have to admit that I have a hard time not showing my feelings about how sad I am when my daughter leaves. It's just really hard to see how torn apart she is.
But, I guess I do have to learn to just "suck it up" and deal w/it.

Thank goodness my ex evil-MIL wont be around this year. Every holiday celebration she would make nasty comments and scream at the kids for every little thing, including picking one leaf off of a plant. One year she purposely slammed a bowl of stuffing down to the point where the bowl break.

I had almost forgotten the worst part of the holidays. My fiance travels to the town where his 17 and 19 year old kids live and celebrates Thanksgiving and Christmas with his mother and stepfather. It's only an hour away. But that leaves us separated on the holidays since I have my kids and other family to celebrated with. There have been no compromises since this is the only time of the year that he gets to spend an entire day with his kids. My son and I went with him one year and frankly I found it a terribly boring horrible way to spend a holiday. We were not made to feel comfortable or welcome. Everyone ate, watched tv and slept. What a waste of a family gathering. I really hate being apart from him on the holidays, but there isn't an alternative.

We have decided also to have an early Christmas this year, during the only days when ALL of our kids will be here. We decided to do this because we all deserve a memorable "Christmas morning" with all of us together. It's just NOT the same when someone's missing.

HAPPY HOLIDAYS TO ALL! And remember - "don't sweat the small stuff" ... it's just not worth it!

Mom 2 4: You are so right about sweating the small stuff. Last year my DH had an accident and was hospitalized day before Thanksgiving. Day after Thanksgiving, kids and I cut down our Christmas tree. We had the house and tree decorated before DH got home. For the next few weeks I slept at 2 hour intervals because I had to get up to give him his medicine and in that sluggish mood didn't get my usual house cleaning done (top to bottom drawers, closets, etc.). Had to shop in 2 hour spurts. Looking back - I don't know how I did it. I was upset that the house wasn't at its finest,I wrapped gifts with store bought bows instead of my homemade ones and I hadn't baked as much as I usually do, but the day of the dinner - with everyone laughing and eating and being joyful just being together - all the other concerns truly were of no consequance. This year should be a piece of cake with DH up and around and even in my old age - I learned a valuable lesson.

My ex and I trade off each year as to who has the boys on Christmas morning. This year they are with their Dad. I have them Christmas Eve to celebrate with my family and then I will return them Christmas Eve night to their Dad. On the off years, I get them for Christmas Eve family celebrations and also Christmas morning. About noon, I take them to their Dad's for his Christmas and celebration with his family. It is a bummer when the boys are not with me for Christmas morning, but it works for everyone. We are going to open gifts on Christmas Eve morning, so Christmas will come early at my house.
Happy Holidays to everyone!!!!

My ex husband and his g/f live less than 5 minutes away. We alternate years, and the kids have no problems with it.
This year he will get them sometime Christmas Eve (evening) and will bring them home around noon Christmas Day.
The only "real" problem we run into is that since we all live so close together, we have the same options as far as shopping. We end up hearing a few comments such as "I already got this today" or "Daddy got me this but it was blue".
Usually his g/f and I try to compare shopping lists so we don't end up with doubles. We started that after both kids recieved 2 scooters each the same year. Sometimes it works out easier if they get doubles on some things, it's easier than lugging bikes back and forth for visits :)

We see our daughter (My SD) long enough to give her presents on x-mas eve then her gram takes her to mass, and they do their own thing. She is always with her mom on x-mas, unless her STEP DAD (who lives in Ohio) wants her. Mind you her mom and step dad haven't been together for 2 yrs now, but he can take her, and we can't?? This bothers me. But I don't let it ruin my day.