Hi Patti! Kathy will give us each a partner. And you and your partner send seeds and swap to each other only. It is not like the tomato swap where you need to send your seeds to a host. Actually, this is how we usually do swaps here at IE, with partners. The tomato swap was an exception. It is really fun swapping with a partner! Hope this helps! Happy you joined! Christy

It sounds hostile, but it is not, personally it is my sincere wish as a child of divorce. I have wathed my BM struggle through the pain, and anger of the divorce, but it is not about hating the new partner of her ex, or even punishing him, it is about the effect on the life she was building as well as the effects on her children. She fought to protect us from the effects of the divorce, and us having to deal with the fact that our father actually believed that this woman loves us. She accepts us, and we accept her. We recieve nice gifts on christmas and birthdays, but her marriage to dad is for her satisfaction and her life, my sibling and I agree that we do not appreciate the decisions that shape our lives influenced by a woman who has not sacrificed for us. I mean 'the divorce'! Our sense of security is protected by our mother. She knows us, and gives for us. And i admire her even more now that we are finally settled again from this mess, for her being brave enough to love again. My step dad has filled a real gap for us in the home, he has embraced what another has compromised. My personal hope and faith has been renewed. But unfortunately my dad does not seem to get it! He's now jealous. WHAT!

Exactly what JMT said. I was going down a very unhealthy hill. I started gaining weight uncontrollably when all of my ex drama started. I wasn't sleeping but I was still working full time, being a single mom, researching constantly on the law's and what routes we could take, visiting forums, talking to friends.. I was a mess. I went to the doctor and he said if I didn't get some sleep, with all the stress and the fast weight gain, my heart would give out and then where would my daughter be? Right with deadbeat jerk Bd and sm. So I had to get it in check. I started therapy and found ways to manage the stress. I felt like no one understood my pain. Everyone kept telling me to calm Down and take it one day at a time. I got mad at these people for 'not understanding' WHY I was so stressed. It wasn't that they didn't understand but they saw that it was eating at me and that was becoming a maniac and that it was effecting me in a negative way. I thought of literally nothing else but this situation. I had to learn to compartmentalize Bd and the situation. I only allow myself a specific time during the day to deal with Bd things like research and getting on the forums and documenting. I don't allow myself to talk to my friends or family about things until something huge happens and I wait about 30 minutes to calm myself. When I get an email from Bd that pisses me off, I move it to the Bd folder and I wait until I get home that evening to read it again and then respond. I always talk it over with my Dh before I respond as he is my anchor. This is your Dh's child and you need to be his anchor. This should not be effecting you like it would a bioparent. I know you love your SS and he is as much your son as your 'real' son is but the BM thing needs to be DH's problem. I know that it isn't that easy because you are the one working and providing but maybe your Dh needs to shoulder some more of the burden. If it doesn't bother him enough to do something (I'm not saying you have implied he doesn't care) then he needs to get a part time job or something to pick up BMs slack for not paying CS. If he doesn't do something then he is saying he is excusing her. By excusing her, then he needs to pick up the slack for her. I hope you have a good weekend momof3. And that you can step back from this and not be so angered. Don't let what any of us say upset you. It's just opinion. Some of us have been there some of us have been on the other side. Some of us have also been on the sidelines watching what you are going through. We are here for you and just want you to take care of yourself and not let BM get to you this way. She wins when you are this upset. (((((hugs to you)))))

KKNY, it seems you have alot of unresolved anger and bitterness regarding your X and his GF. Let it go. Please. Do it for yourself and your kids. It seems to me that you are always defensive when it comes to Bio-moms and step-moms. I know you love your DD and all, but unless her dad is a total screw-up, trust that she will be taken care of. You cannot control every aspect of her life. Nobody is trying to replace you, but with the situation as it is, its only natural that the stepmom be involved in some way. To believe otherwise is folly. And please stop talking down about the SMs and GFs. I understand that GFs can come and go, but once their relationship is legal, her role becomes very important in the child's life. Once you understand and accept that, the happier you will be. Best of luck.