I need advice - please
Any advice anyone can give me would be helpful. I'm very frustrated. I have been living with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I have a 19 year old son who works offshore and has moved out - very independent. He has a 21 year old daughter and a 17 year old son. His son lives with the mom but plans on moving in with us after graduation. (this has not been discussed yet but I'm sure my BF isn't going to tell him no). His daughter however lives with us full time. And that means really me since my BF works offshore and is gone for 28 days at a time. Don't get me wrong - she is not a bad kid - we get along well but this girl has absolutely no ambition. She finally just got a part time job and I made her sign up to get her GED. But she has not drive to do anything. Every time I mention to my BF that her room is a disaster or anything he gets very defensive. I love him so much but I feel that something needs to be done. He pays her cell phone bill - he will even give her money for cigarettes when she wasn't working. I just think that we need to help her become an adult and I don't know how to do it when he gets so defensive. I'm not saying that he needs to necessarily kick her out but she needs to learn to be an adult.