need to vent about dh

17 years ago

Geez....don't know what my dh's problem is lately but he is so babying ss and its about to drive me nuts!

Long story short the tv and video game system in our home was unplugged this morning. SS got up and wanted to play at like 6:30. Nobody was up and it would not work so he started telling my sister (who spent the night last night) that someone needed to go fix it. She told him that when me and dh got up we would take care of it (we had to get up in like 30 min.) She told him not to wake us up. He did not listen and came barreling into our room and yelling that the tv and video game needed to be fixed!! I woke up and told him to let us get up.

When I was fully awake I understood what had happened and I told him that unless there is a real emergency he is not to come into our room yelling in the morning. And because he was told by another adult not to wake us up for something that stupid that he was now grounded for the day from video games. He began the tears and I told him to get over it and that when his dad woke up I did not want to hear him whining to him about it.

So when dh got up guess what the first thing he said to dh was?? Yup....with tears in his eyes he told daddy he was grounded from video games. I heard him and came walking into the room and told my dh what I had already said to ss and dh began yelling that my son tells me when dh grounds him. I told him that we were not discussing something my son did right now...the topic was ss. And I told him that I am tired of ss crying about everything to dh. DH yelled and said that if his son wants to tell him something that he can and that I should not be telling him not to tell daddy things.

All I said was that I told ss not to start whining to dh about being grounded and that was the first thing ss did.

Dh does not see my point. Now I am mad.

Honestly I am so sick of darn video games!! SS and bioson both wake up and want to play. They are not hungry for breakfast or anything....till I tell them video game time is done. Somedays I just declare video game free days in our house and then I get the whining about there being nothing to do....till I start telling them about cleaning they could do. Then they find something else real quick to do outside!

Sort by:Oldest

Comments (4)

ceph
17 years ago
Gaaaaa! How frustrating!

Did DH do all his squawking in front of SS? It's OK for his to disagree with how you dealt with it, but undermining you in front of SS is a problem.

By the sounds of it, you doled out a consequence to SS for not listening to an adult and told him to accept the consequences without a fuss. But DH interprets this as you mistreating SS and telling him not to tell.
IMO, at the moment, this is just a communication breakdown, but if SS is clever, he may be able to exploit it into MUCH more. So deal with it ASAP!!

Anyhow, we have a rule that there are no video games until 10am, and that you have to be dressed, breakfast eaten, bed made, teeth brushed and ready to get on with the day.
There was a good deal of resistance to this rule at first, but he seems to like it now...

We brought it in when my SS was 9 because he was dragging himself out of bed at 5am, bleary eyed at exhausted to play video games. Then when we got up, he'd been plugged in to the game for a few hours already and was a huge grouch. He'd throw a tantrum when asked to eat breakfast or get dressed. It was a mess.
But now he sleeps until around 8, watches cartoons in his jammies for awhile, eats breakfast, brushes his teeth and washes his face, makes his bed, gets dressed and then plays some games until lunchtime. No fuss, no tantrums. It's fabulous.

Maybe that would work for you?
finedreams
17 years ago
next time your DH acts like this, take your own son (you have one right?) tell him to dress up and then two of you go elsewhere for a day, let your DH stay home and deal with all this. You are not a maid, if he expects you to take care of his children DAILY, not on occassion, then he should be OK with you doing the disciplining your way (provided that it is appropriate, which it was).

As about videogames, I think ceph has a good idea, no videogames until a specified time, and certainly no games at 6:30AM and maybe limit it to few hours not more. Let them whine and complain.
Related Discussions
vent about a vent hood
Q
Comments (2)
Some instruction sets are generic, applying to different versions of the same item. And women wonder why men don't read instruction manuals... ;)
...See More
What to do?DH and I need to decide on our style in about 15 mins.
Q
Comments (22)
lynnski, you've given me a great idea. Our kitchen, dining area, and LR are essentially one big room except for the pantry wall that separates the kitchen from the LR. If you look at the third pic from the top you'll see a little bookcase built into my cabs where I keep cookbooks. This end of the cabs faces, and is only a few feet from, the dining area. I've thought those cookbooks don't look right; DH says they look "junky." Anyway, I put the biggest Chinese horse in there all by himself, with the blue Chinese box you see in the cookbook photo underneath him, with only one very low shelf. He looks great, and carries on the living room feeling into the dining area. Only questions I have are that there's not much contrast between him and the oak bookcase, and also it might look a little stark. I'll post a pic on a new thread when I can get one. I'm thinking the cookbooks (I keep them neatly) will transfer their "junkiness" to the top of the cabs if I put them there, and they're also not tall enough. Don't think we can afford to put an extra row of cabs up there though. Thanks for your ideas. The Chinese horse looks very much at home. summiebee, you're right about the view. I wanted the house to have as little demarcation between the inside and outside as possible, with a glass wall. Didn't turn out that way -- builder convinced us that with our high winds we'd never be comfortable -- but he also put the windows higher than we wanted, and one expense we're going to undertake is to find a way to make the view windows bigger. They're 8x5 now, but we're going to put in non-operating glass doors or something instead. Thanks again, all.
...See More
Maybe I just need to vent about vents, but help is welcome too
Q
Comments (10)
I am looking strongly at Kobe, Electrolux, and also some others such as Zephyr, Faber, and Windster. The Windster is quite affordable. The Faber and Zephyr brands have some ones that have some 'rounded' design elements on the pipe area and front of the vent that look sort of nice. Gives a bit of personality to the hood, but not too much. Lots of my hem hawing has to to with what 'style' but the spec thing adds to the confusion. I look at them and try to imagine them over my stove and in conjunction with the other elements in the kitchen and after a while I am so addled that I shrink away from them all! I think that when you are in a remodel, all the decisions that you have to make begin to wiegh on you after a while and even little things can make you 'tilt'. I love my E-lux gas range - it was a find - a small scratch made it very affordable. Love my micro - an LG that looks like it was made to go with the range. Fridge is 'panel ready" - a challenge in my design where stainless would have made it easy. We will probably do something over the top like making leather or cowhide panels for it. We train horses for a living and as the saying goes, if you dont know what to do with it, cover it with cowhide. :) That is a challenge for another post and another day. Using rough slate on the floors - a natural and easy choice for us since we have a slate porch and lots of leftover tiles. Very interesting stuff and very tough. For now, however, the decision is about the range hood. It is gonna be focal, so has to be pretty. Cirone - you mentioned here that a 36 inch hood was put over a 30 inch range. How does that look? I have heard that it is recommended that the hood extend three inches out to give better capture area, but am not sure I would need to worry about that since I am not a major cook. I have ordered from Overstock and they were easy to deal with - made it right when my sink came dented. Ironically, Dianalo, I just talked to a sales rep at a Sears outlet yesterday and they have one chimney style Kenmore there with a scratch that makes it affordable. Long drive for me to check it out since I am in the middle of the woods but may have to go look. Would like to order online to make it quick and easy. Sparklekitty - Havent heard of Eurostoves so will have to look at them. Sounds as if they were good to work with. Artemis - which Kobe did you get? When it comes in, you will have to post about how you like it! Happy that you got your decision on that behind you as I know how hard the choosing can be! I am glad to see that I am not the only one that has gone round and round over this - thanks for all the feedback. Makes it 'feel all better'! :)
...See More
Need advice about an invitation to my DH that did not include me.
Q
Comments (145)
It sounds to me like someone checked off the names they wanted in Outlook or a similar contact manager and paid no attention at all to how the names were said or if there would be a question as to whether it meant plus spouses, plus children, etc. Not so much lacking in etiquette as utterly clueless about how to make a guest list in the first place. Anne, good for you for sticking with the notion that these are good friends even when feelings were being hurt. There are a heck of a lot of clueless people in the world and it would be a lonely place if we dumped all of them just for one thoughtless gaff. As to gifts, thinking along the lines of Littlebug's joke, how about a home organizer kit? If they're combining two households, plus wedding gifts, they probably have a lot of stuff, some of it valuable. A home organizer kit, with one of those engraving pens for marking electronics, ledgers (spreadsheets) for insureables, pouches for receipts, a binder for insurance policies, bank documents, trust papers, etc., a file box for instruction manuals, plus things like note paper to write the stories of heirlooms on, colorful stickers, maybe even a garage sale kit, could also help them learn to be organized. :) Or you can get them something as random as the invitation. Go to a china shop or department store with a good return policy for bridal and get the most interesting looking random thing in your price range. Maybe a glass and silver pickle jar or a strange art glass vase.
...See More
mom2emall
Original Author
17 years ago
Dh did squack in front of ss which added fuel to my fire!

I tried talking to him about this again after things calmed down and he still didn't see the problem with ss complaining to him about his punishment. He says the kids have the right to express their feelings. Whatever! Then he can deal with ss crying about everything and enjoy it. I think there is a fine line between expressing feelings and complaining. I really think he wanted to complain to daddy and try to put on the tears to see if daddy would give him video games back.

I love the no video games till a certain time thing. I am starting that tomorrow!!

For today ss is forced to find toys to play with since he is grounded. Poor kid is building with legos right now because he just came in from bike riding because it was getting hot outside (GASP)!
ceph
17 years ago
"For today ss is forced to find toys to play with since he is grounded. Poor kid is building with legos right now because he just came in from bike riding because it was getting hot outside (GASP)!"

You're a truly evil person!! A monster and a dictator!
LOL!

Be prepared for some backlash to the "no video games until 10, and you have to be ready for the day" thing... There were buckets of tears when we did it, but it's great now.

need to vent about dh

Comments (4)

ceph

finedreams

Related Discussions

mom2emall
Original Author

ceph

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

need to vent about dh

Comments (4)

ceph

finedreams

Related Discussions

mom2emallOriginal Author

ceph

COMPANY

BUSINESS SERVICES

GET HELP

CONNECT WITH US

mom2emall
Original Author