Hi,I had to respond because of the irony of my screen name and your problem.(I just joined,but I'am not a troll)
I understand how you feel,and it can be a hard problem to deal with.A few things though:
1) I know you've had this problem with her for a while,but nine year old girls are just about that age where they start going through puberty and having growth spurts.So there will times they are ravenous creatures who shovel down anything sight.
2)When she is hungry at your house,and has already had a meal,let her eat so long as it's something healthy like fruit or a salad.
3)She likes dance,so maybe get her into it at home before signing her up and see how that goes.There are alot of kids exercise videos out nowadays that are fun and easy for kids to do.Off the top of my head Denise Austin has one called fit kids.Or try anything else that she may enjoy doing that's active (roller skating,bike riding,swimming)
4)Try not to focus on it so much.Chances are,if her peers say stuff to her in school about her weight, that will motivate her far more then you and your husband could.

5)You mentioned she saw a counselor.Talking to them about it couldnt hurt.
Best of luck to you,sounds like you really want the best for your SD.

I'm not a regular either (just another mom concerned about my overweight child). If your sd loves dance class, then I'd at least try to find one for her, but call around and talk to the instructors first. In my (very limited) experience, there tends to be a lot of emphasis on weight for girls on cheer teams and ballet classes, but less for those in jazz and hip-hop. If you can find a good class, she'll be likely to practice at home, too. We have some dance videos, but my girls have only done them a couple of times, not on a regular basis.

What does your sd do when outside? My dd doesn't really play outside much, but she'll stay outside if I play volleyball with her, or if the neighbor kids get a game of capture the flag going, or if we're doing yardwork, etc. She has a decent imagination for inside games, but seems to need an activity to keep her interested in being out.

My dh is constantly buying chips, cookies and doughnuts - this drives me insane. He has never tried to eat healthy or do portion control (just works out more if he gains weight), and hasn't bought into the idea that healthier food affects your energy level. It is frustrating, and while I agree that kids should make healthy food choices, it's a lot harder when there are more convenient options (easier to grab a bag of chips than peel an orange).

Good that she is seeing a counselor. I think that my ds started to pick up extra weight when he started having trouble with some boys at school. Hard to say, though, because he is 11 and lots of boys seem to get a little chunky right before a growth spurt. At least we can be glad that our kids are still growing, because they can grow out of their chunky stage without cutting back their food intake too much, and we can say "we're eating healthier" rather than "we're trying to help you lose weight". So many girls have food issues - I always think it's important to use words like "healthy, fit, strong", etc, rather than "diet, losing weight, burning calories", etc.

Good luck, and I hope that dancing helps!

You have gotten some great advice!

I definitely second the idea that you should use words like "strong" and "healthy," and try to avoid words like "dieting" etc. It really is about a lifestyle change for your DSD.

I would let keep a drawer in the fridge stocked with veggies/low-fat dip, fruits. Let SD know those are ANYTIME foods, she can have them whenever she wants, as many times a day as she wants.

I am sure you're already doing this, but try not to have chips/cookies, etc. in the house--too tempting!

Is there any kind of workout thing you and SD (or SD and her dad?) could do to together? Does she like to bike? run? walk? hike? See if you can think of some activity you could do together a few times a week....make it fun.

The kids dance videos sound great!

I do want to add--I hit puberty at about 9, and I know my body changed quite a bit. I don't know numbers, but looking back at pics, I would guess I probably put on 5-10 lbs and my whole "shape" just kind of changed. I became flabbier, and had excess weight around my middle--but still no real hips or definition to my body, kwim?
Awkward time!

I started swimming competitively 5 nights/week when I was about 10 or 11, and I got really toned that way, and i LOVED it. If your SD is interested, look into a swim team--great confidence builder, and it's GREAT exercise, too! (She doesn't have to do so many practices a week, either, most year-round teams have different levels and options.)

Anyway, I do think some of your SD's issues might just be hitting puberty, and she will slim down naturally a bit on her own when her body's ready---but you can definitely help that along.

It sounds like you are already doing great with her, keep it up! Good luck...

Thanks for such positive feedback. I'm a little frustrated because her counselor moved out of state during summer, so she hasn't had a counselor. Before her counselor left, she told us she's not sure SD even 'needs' counseling anymore. I was feeling like it was a waste of money. SD would tell the counselor what everyone wants to hear and keep doing the same things. I think she was actually getting worse with some stuff. (She's been with her mom during the week all summer, so we haven't decided if she is going to find a counselor when she comes back next week) I also think that she was going to counseling expecting the counselor to 'fix' her problems but doesn't quite understand that SHE needs do anything differently.

As for dance, she's never taken dance classes. She was excited that I was going to let her. The only kind of dance she does at (her mom's) home is sexy stripper type bump & grind dancing and her mom taught her and dances with her like that. I wanted to get her into tap or jazz. [she really wants to do cheer and be a 'popular' girl] The one time I know of her dancing, she was in her room 'practicing' stripping in her underwear last year.

She is allowed to have healthy snacks, but we don't let her help herself whenever she wants. We were finding apple cores in her dresser drawers and wrappers under her bed. She sneaked a top ramen noodles and told DH that she ate it raw. She also ate salt & pepper packets and splenda packets. Our rule is that there is no eating in the bedrooms. But, she is sneaking food and that was the concern before. We don't have junk food but she'll take whatever bread products, bagels- tortillas- bread, because she loves bread.

and exercise? She used to like riding bike, skateboarding, and now she acts like telling her to ride her bike is a punishment. Dad told her 'why don't you go ride your bike' and she says 'do I have to?'. She has to be outside when we are working on the yard so she'll get her skateboard, find a shady place in the driveway and sit on her skateboard drinking her water. We give her a bottle of water when she goes out because she'll come in the house every five minutes to get water. But, she drinks the whole bottle in five minutes and comes to tell us she is hot and wants to go inside and watch a movie. [she is not allowed to be in the house unsupervised because of the food sneaking, plus DH doesn't want her just lying around all day] But, she doesn't want to do anything fun anymore because she gets tired so easily. He took her to the park and she just sat on the bench under a tree, watching the others (my daughter & niece). When he takes her for a bike ride together, she ends up complaining the whole time and it's miserable. I won't go with them, partly because it becomes miserable, but also I want to give them time alone together.

I like the idea of swimming though. I know she goes to the pool with her mom a lot but I think they 'lay out' in bikini's to get a tan more than they swim. But, it would be good for her to join a team.

Part of the goal, besides exercise, is for social reasons. I've mentioned before, SD has been prematurely 'sexualized' and possibly molested. She did tell her counselor that she saw mom having sex, but as for anyone touching her or doing anything to her, we aren't sure. SD is obsessed with boys and being popular. If her self esteem plummets because of her weight or anything else, then we worry she'll be an easy target for sleazy guys. Last year, she was the aggressor in two incidents with boys at school. Luckily, the older boy (in 7th grade) told on her. The younger boy (same age as her) said he wanted to 'mate' with her and she had written a note saying she wanted to have sex with him. Her counselor was talking to her about all this and again, she says what she thinks we want to hear. We've talked to her about the danger she could put herself into and she says she knows, but we aren't sure anyone is getting through to her. She is always telling us about all the guys that flirt with her mom when she's with her mom. When we are out somewhere, she will tell me how all these guys (grown men sometimes) are 'checking her out'. So, part of this is figuring out how to get her interested in other things. It feels like a losing battle. She wants to be like mom, but mom doesn't have a weight problem. When mom wants to lose weight, she starts smoking more and doesn't eat. And I know that it's not just about her weight. It's about her self esteem, body image and self image. It's also about her values and goals in life.

I just never had this much of a problem with my own daughter. Of course, she modeled after me. So, there is also a part of me that feels like I'm wasting my time worrying about SD since she wants to be like her mom and her mom is modeling this behavior for her. That is very upsetting to her dad, but he doesn't know what he can do.

Wow. Sounds like there is lots going on.

Obviously, as you already said, the fact that she is sneaking food and eating everything from salt/pepper to splenda packets means the food issue is a symptom of an underlying emotional issue.

What about Overeaters Anonymous for kids?

I really worry that your SD could be at risk for an eating disorder. Compulsive overeating actually IS recognized as an eating disorder, in addition to anorexia and bulimia.

Combine her weight issue with her emotional issues, dependency on food, and then factor in her mom's influenece, and it sounds like a recipe for disaster.

I would look around for a counselor that is geared towards eating disorders/food issues in young pre-teen girls. Maybe talk to her pediatrician and ask him/her for some recommendations.

I would just try as much as possible to plan active family activities. Don't even mention to her that it's for exercise or anything. Just set up a family afternoon in a park--maybe bring a picnic lunch, and a soccer ball, and spend the afternoon kicking it around. Or play tag in the backyard after dinner-invite some of the other kids in the neighborhood over, set up a slip n'slide, and watch them run around and have fun. I think you probably need to "trick" her into getting exercise.

You definitely are right about needing to get her self-esteem back on track. Girls, especially at this age, are so at risk if they don't feel good about themselves.

How do you like her friends?

"How do you like her friends?"

That's part of her problem. She has a hard time making/keeping them. She had one 'best friend' that she was excited about (because she is on cheer team) and a couple of weeks after school started last year, I got a call from her mom. She called to ask me to keep SD away from her daughter for a while. (my heart sank when I heard that because I was hoping she was calling to set up a play date) She said her daughter is no angel, but since SD was around her, she's been getting into trouble more and the combination of the two was that they play off each other and both were getting in trouble. So, that was a blow to SD and over the year, she was able to be friends with her again. But, she got in trouble for making a club against another girl that wanted to be friends with her best friend, but not her. She is very possessive of her friendship with that one girl but when it comes to other girls, she is always telling us that they are mean to her. The teacher had to move SD several times last year because she couldn't get along with anyone and just wanted to talk to her best friend. She was always getting in trouble for talking in class and her biggest problem was not paying attention and she never knew what she was supposed to be doing because she didn't listen to the instructions (because she was talking).

I had her in girl scouts and karate this last year. I'm also thinking about baseball, her counselor suggested that since throws really well.

If she was my stepdaughter, I would try to find 2 different types of exercise - a "fun" type of exercise like softball, dance, tennis, etc., and an intense, stamina-building exercise program like swim team, running, or even walking.

A year round swim team, like lovehadley mentioned, is fabulous for building stamina, toning, etc. If your stepdaughter is obese, swimming will not be as hard on her joints or ankles.

My second suggestion is for either you or her dad to to a sustained exercise program with her yourself. When I was just a year or two older than your stepdaughter, my dad decided to lose a lot of weight and get fit. Every single day he went to the track to run, and he took up tennis. Although I had never ran much before, or played tennis, I ran a lot with him and learned to play tennis with him. I was amazed at how much better I got at running. I was a terrible, terrible athlete and always chosen last for any team. I was absolutely, totally, terribly miserable at every P.E. class and activity - kickball, dodgeball, volleyball, basketball, gymnastics, dance, etc. My P.E. teacher was stunned when we got to the last two units of the year - running and tennis. Anyway, not only did I become more physically fit, but those were times I cherish with my father.

My son was a year round swimmer, and it was so very good for him. It's just my opinion, but I believe intense, regular exercise like swimming or running keeps kids' hormones more in balance, releases endorphins that help them feel better about themselves, keeps them less moody, more happy, more confident, and gives them a sense of accomplishment. Plus they just get too exhausted to whine.

I hope you find something that works well for your stepdaughter.

"It's just my opinion, but I believe intense, regular exercise like swimming or running keeps kids' hormones more in balance, releases endorphins that help them feel better about themselves, keeps them less moody, more happy, more confident, and gives them a sense of accomplishment."

I couldn't agree more. I LOVED swimming competitively for a USS team. I had always been on local summer leagues, but it wasn't until 5th grade that I started year-round. I really enjoyed the friendships I made on the team--loved the coaches--and enjoyed achieving goals. I swam w/this team until I was 15. When I got to highschool, my highschool had a 2 seasons/out of 3 sports requirement. Basically, two out of 3 seasons, we HAD to do a school-sponsored sport. I couldn't do swimming year-round AND two other teams, AND keep up with academics. So I dropped the year-round team, but continued the highschool team for my spring sport.

I would totally recommend it for your SD. Does she like to swim?

I ran cross country in HS, too....not my fave, though! I still run to this day--3 miles 5x a week....but NOT because I love it. I actually hate it! LOL. It just gives me the best results physically....but I am not one of those people that gets a "runner's high."

I do think if you found something that you (and/or your DH) could do with her, that would be great...who knows, maybe she would like to run? Or if you joined a gym, do you think she would enjoy going with you to work out? I often see girls (and boys) around that age w/their moms or dads at the gym....

The friend issue is tough. Is there anyone in the neighborhood you like that you could set her up w/for playdates? How did Girl Scouts go?

Going to the gym together is a great idea, especially to do an aerobics class, yoga class, maybe do the bike or the treadmill.

I know some parents of some serious young athletes who won't let their children lift weights yet, because they say it's easy for kids to injure themselves if they don't know what they're doing, or if the trainer isn't familiar with weight lifting for kids.

The friend issue must be tough for your daughter.

IMA- Holy Smokes! 105 at nine is a little heavey. I was 108 pounds when I was 16.

We took the girls to the local water park a few days ago and J and I both noticed that there was an alarming amount of over weight, very young children, running around. I mean some of these poor babies looked more pregnant in their swimsuits than I did!

You got some really good advice above. ALL kids love the water and swimming is excellent excercise without getting overly hot. It's a sneaky excercise too because the kids FORGET it's actually excercise....hahaha.

Also, If you have any kindof Gaming System (Nintendo,Game Cube,X-Box) in the house....GET RID OF IT. I have personally decided they are the devil! They destroy personal/social skills and contribute greatly to the child obesity epidemic IMHO. Limiting TV time helps also.

The healthy food can be hard when the child is living in two seperate households because one parent inforces the healthy eating habits while the other may not jump on the band wagon for what ever reason. All you can do is instill good choices on your end and hope they stick.

This may sound harsh but my mom used to boot us outside and tell us to "go play" when we got home. We didn't do a whole lot of sitting around the house leisurely. It was either chores, homework or outside play. We were skinny kids:) Kids don't play outside enough anymore.

My SD is 135 lbs, she is 5'4, and thirteen years old. She has been heavy for as long as I can remember. She is wearing a womans medium petite in clothing already.

Some of it is genetic. Her father, my husband is 6'4 and weighs about 230 lbs. He has a large bone frame. My SD closely resembles him in structure.

Some of it is lifestyle. SD is not very active. She doesnt do sports because they arent girly enough for her. SHe rarely goes outside because its "too hot". Her mother, and her stepfather, are both over 200 lbs and no more than 5'6. Tv watching is encouraged because it keeps the kids quiet. SD wont drink anything except soda, and eats junk non stop.

She had an absolute snit on me in the store once because I said she could get a drink, as long as it wasnt soda. She chose to do without, and made everyone aware of the fact taht she was thirsty because I wouldnt let her buy a coke. She could live on chocolate bars and coke.

The other kids make fun of her for being tall for her age, and for being on the heavy side. I wouldnt say she is fat, but she is certainly overweight for her age. If she doesnt change her habits, she will end up having weight problems and social problems her whole life.

But I keep my mouth shut, because her mother, and her dad, both indulge her eating and activity choices. Mom eats a lot of junk, and dad doesnt want to say anything to hurt his little girl. I just zip my mouth and say nothing.

I am fairly slender, 5'8, 135 lbs, and always have been. I am an avid hiker, biker, and outdoor person. I have a small ballerina bone frame. I hate being inside for any reason. I dont watch tv at all. I dont buy potato chips or soda, and I eat a diet heavy in fruits and veggies. All four of my birth children have the same genetic makeup that I do, and they are all thin. Part of the reason I am thin is genetic. ANother is lifestyle.

My SD's mom hates me, and says so, because I am thin. She struggles with weight, and has struggled for years, but wont make the lifestyle changes to enable her to keep weight off. Their diet is heavy in fast food and takeout meals, probably cuz mom works her arse off at a job all day, and does all the housework and childcare for four kids. Her husband does nothing to help out, but expects spotless perfection and total obedience from the wife and kids. I get tired just thinking about her workload.

I think the most important thing you can do for your child, via weight control, is model proper choices for them. If you dont buy junk , you dont eat out all the time, and you dont sit around and watch tv yourself while expecting the kids to go out and play, then you have a pretty good chance of at least teaching them what is good for them. Even if they choose not to follow your example, the example is planted so that when they finally get fed up with people teasing them for being fat, or shunning them, they will know what to do to get back on track.

Its a shame , we cant change them. We can only help them want to change for themselves. The world is cruel to fat people, especially young women who are fat. It causes horrible self esteem issues.

She was here with us this weekend and we were working on the property. I was off planting trees and DH was putting in a sprinkler system. So, she wasn't allowed to stay in the house which is what she asked DH. So, he felt bad because she started whining that she didn't want to be outside and instead of having her ride her bike or skateboard, he let her bring her DS outside and she sat in the shade playing video games all day. Then, because he was tired from working outside all day, he sat with her to watch a movie after he was done (both days) so she got absolutely no exercise at all this weekend.

She hasn't been allowed to play any video games in the house since she's been living here. Well, occasionally if her dad has time, he'll play a game with her, but she is not allowed to hang out in her room playing video games like she wants. I think she complains about that to her mom, who overcompensates by letting her play as much as she wants there. (at least that is what SD tells us) and there are a few things her mom does that with. SD complains we don't go out to eat very much, so mom takes her to nothing but fast food. SD complains that she has to play outside, mom doesn't make her. SD complains we don't give her dessert or candy, so mom does. (same goes for watching certain TV shows, cartoons, movies, etc. If SD complains we don't let her do something, mom lets her) The good news is that she is coming back next week and will be here during the week. There is also a good chance that her mom will begin to cancel her weekends again. She has only done ONE pick up in the last five or six months. She sends her mom to get her and when she's only getting her for the weekend, if BM has plans, she'll cancel with SD because it's too much of an inconvenience to drive six hours for a day and a half with SD when BM wants to go out with her BF and not deal with SD.

I'm looking into the swim team idea today. I have no idea where to look. We live in a rural area and the high school has a pool but I don't know if they offer anything for her age group. She's going into fourth grade.

This weekend, instead of potato chips, I gave her baby carrots with her sandwich and if looks could kill.... I wouldn't be writing this. (she likes carrots and ate them, but she'd prefer chips of course) She ate everything on her plate before I could finish half my sandwich, which is another problem. But, she eats just like her dad, so I am constantly telling him to slow down and chew his food too. (because he tells her to do the same, but he's eating just like her so he's teaching her how to eat) I guess he doesn't realize how much kids copy.

Your SD is slightly overweight. The healthy weight range for a girl her age and height, is 89-132, so 135 is not that bad at all. Of course, I'd agree that if she has poor eating & exercise habits, she could become overweight or obese. You can (and should) voice some opinion to your DH from a female perspective, regarding self esteem and how cruel girls can be to each other (or how cruel guys can be to an overweight girl) and how it could affect his daughter. If he has never thought about it (because lots of guys don't think like that) then it might change his attitude. But, you are right, if the parents don't care, it's hard to do anything as a step parent. But, my SD lives with me full time and I am responsible for the meals in the house. That is why I get the brunt of her attitude when she isn't allowed to eat junk food or as much as she wants. (I'll take the dirty looks she gives, because I know the pain of being teased [I was 110 in 4th grade] and maybe someday she will appreciate it or understand that I am doing his for her good) But then, someone else said this is a thankless job. So, I won't hold my breath.

Here is a link that might be useful: BMI calculator for children & teens

Imamommy, has she had blood tests done? Drinking a lot, increased hunger and lack of energy are symptoms of diabetes, and weight gain can be too. Since it sounds like she's had a pretty bad diet at her mom's with lots of sugar and carbs, it could be that she is developing blood sugar problems.

What about video games that encourage activity, like DDR? My kids think it is fun and it also gets them off the couch.

TOS- That might work but we just said no game stations allowed. It's easier than policing what they play and how often.

What's DDR?

We have a Wii and DH just got me the Wii Fit. It is great! We're all doing it and DH has actually lost 2 pounds. :-) It's no substitute for true exercise, but the kids get their game fix on it and I'm cool with that. But, we are also an active family so the kids like this kind of thing. The regular Wii Sports is another good one to get them up and moving - we have family bowling nights that can go for hours . . . betcha didn't know you can have a sore rear end from playing a video game, and it's not from sitting on it!!

She has one with a dance mat but I've never seen her use it. She doesn't want to use it, she would rather play one where she is laying down on her bed (she won't even sit up to play) and DH noticed (before he ever moved in with me) that she would act out with more aggression when she was playing video games. He just didn't connect it to the video games, but one evening while he was dealing with a tantrum and later told me he has no idea why she gets like that, I noticed that she had been playing a racing game that she kept messing up on and couldn't get to the next level. She was getting very frustrated and when I mentioned it, he sort of dismissed that. He likes video games so he didn't think it could change her behavior. But, after that, he started to pay closer attention and he finally 'got it'.

I agree doodle, no video games allowed. I don't even like the DS but he lets her take it when we have to drive places. It's just that the world is so different than when I was a kid. Now, it seems that kids aren't allowed to think or have an imagination. They always have to have something to entertain them. We used to play the license plate game on trips. Now, they sit and watch a DVD or play video games. It does make for a quieter trip, I agree. But, then some kids don't know how to entertain themselves.

I think the only solution for kids not to play videogames is not to buy them.

DD weren't allowed video games, she did not have any. She had couple of very innocent computer games but only when she was already a teenager. No other stuff. And certainly not when she was 9-10-11. She is also not very athletic and rather not move much, but she spent A LOT of her time reading. I'd rather they read than play games. DD got Nintendo for her 20th birthday LOL. she commutes to college and work a lot and it is at times difficult to read on a bus or a train. I know it was funny when she asked for Nintendo at 20.

I just thought of horse backriding. DD did that for years. There were some heavy girls there.

justnotmartha,

DDR is Dance Dance Revolution.

I lived in the country for awhile, and where I lived it was more challenging for me to find ways to exercise in the country than in the city. I lived on a busy highway, dense woods all around. So all of our suburban solutions - swim team, tennis team, etc. may not work for you.

I have a friend who still lives in the country near where I lived, and she and her daughter get aerobic dvds and work out together with those. I think they really liked Tae Bo(sp?).

I think the big key to getting your stepdaughter more active may be to do things with her. They don't have to always be fun things. If you are planting trees or digging for a sprinkler system, perhaps she can help with that. When my kids were 9 years old, they were enormous help when we did heavy yardwork. I am a big fan of plenty of chores for kids - it helps keep them active, busy, and over the long haul I think it improves their confidence because they learn to be so capable.

If you have enough room on the property, perhaps her dad and she could build a little mountain bike path together. Horseback riding is a great suggestion. If there's a river, lake, or pond nearby perhaps she might be able to kayak or canoe. Or perhaps get her an inexpensive digital camera, go hiking and take pictures.

My son was very, very small - he had a significant growth delay. My husband was adamant about keeping him active, because he wanted my son to be able to run around and play with the other boys and be able to keep up with all their games. My son tried a lot of sports, but he never sustained interest in any particular one (until swimming). So much of the time our fitness plan for him was just to keep the family moving. We went hiking, kayaking, biking, did a lot of camping. My son did a lot of yard work (dragging limbs and brush, etc.). Our efforts did pay off - my son had trouble when he was younger, but as the other kids' bad habits caught up with them, my son did well in the boys' games simply because he had more stamina and was more fit.

I hope you find something that works for your daughter and your family. Sometimes it's hard to keep kids moving, I know.

at the same time I would worry about pushing too hard. My X is very ahtletic and does a lot of various sport activities. he always pushed DD very hard, complaining an nagging that she does not move enough, pushing her so hard that she resisted even harder. he would argue with me that i am not pushing her enough. she got into some thing that she likes only after he stopped pushing. so i would be careful about pushing kids too hard to do sports or dieting or whatever. I never wanted to do any sports when i was young. i love working out now. for some people it comes later.

I've seen some very good advice on this thread. I'm very impressed.

I'd like to second this one: "I would look around for a counselor that is geared towards eating disorders/food issues in young pre-teen girls."

I'd also like to second many of Daisy's suggestions. I hate sports. I loathe and despise them. When I was a kid, my mom put me in all sorts of sports, looking for one I liked, and I was miserable with all of them. The only one I ever enjoyed was badminton, and I didn't discover it until grade 7. A large part of it was that I am not a competitive person, so didn't fit into the win/lose mentality. Another part was that I was short, scrawny and not very coordinated, so wasn't very good at the athletics part.
Anyhow, I was always active, just not in traditional athletic ways. Even now, I'm in very good shape, but to quote a friend of mine "you're the most active inactive person I know". I'm always on the go, and hate just sitting around, but I don't do things that most people consider active.

Canoing is a great idea! So is the digital camera hiking (that one could combine into editing the photos on the computer, to give her extra motivation to get out more). Even little things like parking in the boonies of the parking lot and walking, instead of the closest spot to the door will make a difference for her.

LMAO ceph,

One of the first things I noticed when moving to the south, was the number of people at the store that will circle the lot for several minutes, in order to get a parking spot close to the door.

My husband and I, and now my children, always park in the farthest possible spot on the lot. We call it "East Jesus". Our family always knows where the car is, because we park it in east jesus, and so it is always easy to find.

Another idea for those who prefer hiking to baseball, is geocaching. Our family does a lot of it. You use an inexpensive GPS , download coordinates for caches on the internet, and then locate them using your gps. Kids love it because the caches have small "treasure" in them, that you trade when you find the cache. People of all ages do it, its a great way to become familiar with technology, and to have some good outdoor fun at the same time.

When my husband and I lived in Saskatoon a few years back, we got our introduction to the local police, after we had parked our truck ( which had Arkansas plates) on a back round just east of central ave off of attridge. We were following coordinates over a field and into some forest area. When we came back, an hour later, there were police surrounding our vehicle, wondering where the strange americans had gone . Back then, geocaching was new, and we had a WONDERFUL time trying to explain to Saskatoon police, exactly what we were doing prowling around the countryside.

LOL Kath, that area is now a big box mall and a bunch of cookiecutter houses.
I have friends who live there and used to run their dogs in that exact place... They're mad about the new developments in "their" field. Maybe they called the cops on you because they felt you were trespassing! Hahaha.

at the same time I would worry about pushing too hard. My X is very ahtletic and does a lot of various sport activities. he always pushed DD very hard, complaining an nagging that she does not move enough, pushing her so hard that she resisted even harder. he would argue with me that i am not pushing her enough.

I think that would be enough to turn anybody against sports.

My husband never pushed my son to do sports, never told him he wasn't moving enough. He just kept planning family activities for us to do. When he found a cool place to mountain bike, we went mountain biking. When he saw someone advertising their used canoes for sale, he bought canoes and we went canoeing. Staying home wasn't an option (our kids were young like OP's), we all went.

Same with yard work. When my husband had a big outdoor project, we all helped. He made it clear from the beginning that being part of a family means we all pitch in. It always ended on a happy note - we finished with a trip to the pool, or we rented a special movie and watched together, or went out for pizza.

My husband also planned carefully for our kids' levels of ability. For example, when we started biking, he found trails suitable for training wheels. He bought sidebags for his bike and a bike cooler, so he could carry snacks. There were plenty of stops, so the kids could climb trees, balance on fallen logs, and just play.

My husband also bought a very active breed of dog (Australian Cattle dog). We always had to be biking, hiking, or swimming the dog, because that breed requires a lot of activity and something to do.

I don't know, my husband just made it intrinsically motivating for my kids to keep moving. They loved the dog and understood that he needed to be exercised. They knew we had to make it on our bikes all the way to the restaurant if we were going to eat. They knew whining and complaining would not get them out of shoveling the mulch, but getting their work done would get them praise and something fun at the end. He always praised the kids and encouraged them, and understood when they got (legitimately) tired. He is a laughing, playful guy, and when they were tired he made a game of pushing them up the hill.

I guess what I'm saying is that the OP is probably struggling to help her daughter find not just a way to exercise, but a lifestyle, an attitude toward life. It's not easy for some people (like me), we need to be creative and adjust our attitudes, and actively look for ways to make it work for our kids and ourselves. Fortunately for me my husband is good at that, and I learned a lot from him. If not for that I would have been a dismal failure at keeping my kids active.

I guess that's why I've responded so much to this post. I saw how successful my husband was at helping my son, and indeed the whole family. For some people it is effortless - their kids love, love, love soccer and it keeps the whole family moving. But for other families, it takes some creativity and an attitude that encompasses the whole family. There were a lot of times I wanted to just go shopping on Saturday and let the kids watch movies, but my husband kept on smiling, laughing, and saying, "Let's go to the river instead". It made a difference for us.

When my son started swim team, it was a lot easier - just drop him off for his 2+ hours of swimming every day while I got my grocery shopping and errands ran.

Anyway, I just want to encourage the OP in her efforts. I know it is hard when you have a kid firmly entrenched with poor health habits, a shifting set of rules and expectations, and possibly health issues.

Well, SD had gone back to her mom last Sunday (August 3) and came back this Sunday (DH let BM keep her since it was the last weekend of Summer). So, we got home on Sunday and SD weighed 109.0

She was 104.5 when she got here last weekend and 102 when she went back to her mom on last Sunday, so she gained 7 lbs. in 7 days. Today, she wanted to lay on her bed all day and play her DS but I told her to go play outside for a while. She got upset and asked me how long does she HAVE to? I told her she needs to get some fresh air and exercise. She was out there about half an hour, and during that time, she came in three times to get water and ask me if she was out there long enough. I feel terrible because she should not feel like playing is a chore. I'd feel guilty if I just let her lay around all day getting heavier. She's been sneaking food again (still) and she's already being fed healthy balanced meals and snacks. Then, she was crying because she couldn't have ice cream after dinner.

How are you tracking DS weight fluctuations? Does DS object to getting on the scale? It sounds like you are doing this on a regular basis.

Kathline-

"One of the first things I noticed when moving to the south, was the number of people at the store that will circle the lot for several minutes, in order to get a parking spot close to the door."

Jonathan does this and it drives me NUTS! I always fuss at hime to just park the dang car. That little bit of excercise adds up and god knows it won't kill ANYONE to get a little excercise.

I also get a chuckle at the morbidly obese people riding the electric scooters around the stores. The only reason they are on the scooter is because they are overweight and the only way to lose the weight is to walk! When my mom was at her heaviest she tried to get her doctor to recommend her for handicap parking. The doctor told her no because excercise is what she needed and all that handicap parking would do for her is enable her further...that was a good doctor IMHO.

My SS10 just went to the drs. last week ... he now weighs 135lbs... when he went to the drs in april he weighed 105lbs. (He's only 4'9")

SS 10 said ... "well its because of my medication" I said ...you actually have to take the medication in order to blame the meds for your weight gain. (steroids for asthma)

He's a snacker ... and craves sugary foods... will eat everyones leftovers I think he uses it for comfort rather than nutrition. He is nervous about entering middle school.

Last year my SC went swimming just about everyday ... this year I can't even get them to put on bathing suits.

iamommy SD eats because she substitutes food for something what she is missing in life. Eating makes her feel better about life in general and herself in particular. If she is put on a scale regularly, she knows she has weight problem, it makes her feel worse that causes her eating more not less. When she feels bad about herself she eats more. So every weight checking causes her eating more not less. I would focus on her emotional well being first and overeating second.

yes like pseudo says they eat for comfort. SD needs more comfort in her life.

Good gravy Ima! Your SD weighs the same as I do this week!
First, weight flux is normal - I can go up or down 5 lbs in a given week, so I float between ~105 and ~115. I had about a 2 or 3 pound flux when I was your SD's age and apparently that's perfectly normal.
I'm with FD on that your SD is a comfort eater, eating to fill voids in her life. But I don't know if frequent weighings cause more voids. My guess is that she eats more at BMs for a couple reasons, including that BM couldn't be bothered to make sure she's eating properly, but also that she probably feels quite abandoned at BM's place. It sounds like BM doesn't pay much attention to her, so she eats because food is great company (I eat more when FDH is on evening shifts, because I graze all evening to keep myself company.)
When she's at your place, at least people are keeping an eye on what she's eating and paying attention to her. She's still lonely and feels bad about herself, but at least she's not second-fiddle to everyone and everything else.

I'm not sure, but I think that there may be a difference in the definition that BM and DH have for 'healthy'. When SD left here on Friday, she weighed 103.5 (down from 109 when she got here last Friday) and today, when we picked her up, her mom tells DH that SD told her she needs to bring three pair of pants to our house. DH tells BM that she doesn't fit in any of her clothes (we didn't buy school clothes because she got a bunch of new clothes for her birthday, so we saved them for school because at the time, she was wearing 12's and most of them were 14's so we figured since they were shorts and school starts in August, we'd use them and then buy her winter clothes in September or October). So, DH corrects SD and tells BM that what he actually said was that he told SD that she needs to choose healthier foods and watch her portions, he told her that she is responsible for what she eats and if she is going to keep eating anything she wants (because her mom lets her) and gaining weight, she isn't going to have anything to wear until we get her winter clothes. So, SD was going to get bigger clothes from her mom's house I guess, instead of trying to eat right. So, when he tells BM this, she says "well she ate really healthy this weekend!" and we left. On the way home, we ask what she ate for lunch...Pizza. DH says, 'that doesn't sound healthy.' and then asks about breakfast... SD thinks and says, 'ummm cereal' 'oh yea, cherios' and I look at her and she says 'I mean cocoa puffs' and I tell her that she doesn't sound convincing or sure. Then she says "okay, I had pancakes with chocolate syrup and bacon" and adds on "what??? I like it!!!"

Then she added that all she ate on Saturday was apples. Pretty sure that's not true. So, unless BM lied when she said SD ate healthy all weekend, she must just have a different definition of healthy than most people that might think fresh fruits, vegetables, whole grains and lean meats are healthy. Don't get me wrong, pizza and pancakes are yummy, but why lie about it. How can a mother ignore that her kid went from a size 12 to a size 16 in two months and pretend she is feeding her healthy and give her junk food? I guess the question really is, why lie? We don't tell her what to feed her, nor does DH say anything to her except that her clothes here don't fit. He didn't tell BM what to do, he told SD that she is responsible for what she eats, he didn't even tell her she can't eat like that.. just that there is a consequence to it.

Lying is one of my pet peeves and teaching your kid to lie is the epitome of poor parenting. I understand a little why SD lied about cherrios since dad told her pizza wasn't healthy so maybe she thought he would be disappointed in her, but it's more disappointing that she lied. But, at least she couldn't lie convincingly and with a straight face and she fessed up. I was glad she did and sees that nobody got upset with her over what she ate at her moms and there was no reason to lie.

There really are very few foods that are "unhealthy" (except certain mushrooms, off course). If I were her father I would emphasize the importance of eating a variety of foods, rather than condemning certain ones.

Pizza actually is quite high in nutrients. A pizza with vegetable topping covers most of the food groups.

I believe that I have read that when people who are dieting skip breakfast, they are less successful at losing weight. Pancakes are a good start to the day (and blueberry ones even better). Chocolate syrup is a little weird, perhaps, but maple syrup probably has just as many calories, and I imagine people in your part of the country are less likely to use the real thing anyway.

Is there anyway she can walk to school rather than taking the bus? (Not alone, though). That would save $195, and give her consistent exercise.

I still think that her emotional needs have to be addressed first. Her diet second. I don't think questioning her what she ate or putting her on a scale is going to fix much. It just makes her more anxious.

as about foods, I think it is OK to eat any kind of foods, problem is in portion size. Pizza is OK-one piece. 5 pieces not OK. pancakes are fine-1. 5 are bad. Syrup is fine, a bit of it. The whole puddle is bad.

it is all not to say that SD is not overweight. she sure is. She weighs like DD. DD is 5'6" or something around that and she is 20. I also used to weigh about that much up until I was in my mid 30s. 9-year-old should not be that heavy even if she is a tall girl. It is way too much weight to carry around.

TOS is right that it's not a good attitude to consider some foods as forbidden... But IMO, it's OK to consider some foods as "healthy" and some as "unhealthy" to make sure you're getting a decent balance.

For example: My breakfast was an orange, fat-free yogurt and a piece of whole wheat toast, with a glass of water and a cup of coffee. That's quite healthy - so it's OK that I'm going to snack on a cinnamon bun later.
However, if I had gone for breakfast with a friend and had greasy breakfast fries and a cheese-drenched omelet, I'd skip that cinnamon bun in favour of a piece of fruit.

When A__ is with us, he is allowed one can of pop (or equivalent - such as iced tea) and one junk food item each day, because we focus on healthy foods. He isn't allowed the treats before lunch or within about two hours of bedtime, but in the afternoon of early evening is fine. Lots of times he doesn't even ask for those treats anymore!
I often say things like "We're going to need something green with supper. A__, what sort of green should we have?" to get him thinking about what kind if healthy foods he can add to a meal. It's been working - BM told us that he asked for "Kraft Dinner, but we'd need something green too, so how about peas?" for supper - LOL how cute is that?!

So, anyhow, I think it's OK to think of some foods as healthy and some as unhealthy, provided no foods are considered forbidden, because that just sets people up for failure.
If SD was older, I'd suggest the 80-20 system of eating - eat what you should eat 80% of the time and eat what you want to eat 20% of the time. I think that's a great way to balance healthy food and unhealthy food, without putting too much negative spin on junky foods, but she's not old enough to understand that yet.

"Is there anyway she can walk to school rather than taking the bus? (Not alone, though). That would save $195, and give her consistent exercise."

I think that's a great idea, but we live about 4 1/2 miles from the school (in the foothills/mountain type area where lots of uphill/downhill and winding roads) Her bus stop is about a football field's length away and she complains about having to walk that far. Part of the problem with gaining as much as she has in such a short time, is that she is not used to the added weight so she gets tired and worn out so easily. I grew up in this area and used to walk a mile to my bus stop in the morning and after school. It was good exercise. I've always liked walking because of it. (especially in fall when there are leaves on the ground) But, SD complains about any physical activity. She said she wants to play baseball but her mom hasn't told DH whether she would agree to it or not. The practices would be during the week, games on weekends so it would affect her mom's time.

As for her eating habits, one of the problems is that DH does not like fruit or veggies. SD likes them but he doesn't. Last night, I made hamburgers for dinner. I gave SD some grapes and baby carrots with her hamburger and DH eats fries. My daughter had salad with hers. I didn't have anything except half a burger. SD ate it but made it obvious she was upset she didn't get fries. She always wants to eat what DH is eating (and the same amount) and that is a problem. He doesn't eat a lot of junk but he does put lots of cheese, mayo, thousand island sauce, salt, gravy, butter, etc. on his foods. I've gained some weight too because I don't normally cook lots of heavy foods that he likes. I've been cooking less of it lately and trying to slim down myself. (he's been stuck with lots of grilled chicken but I make him gravy to put on it... yuck) I know it's not just the food choices... if her mom wants to feed her pizza and pancakes, that's her business. The only reason we asked is because BM said she ate healthy. Either she was lying or that's her idea of healthy, which is fine. I agree with FD that it's not bad, just should be in moderation, just like anything. If she said she ate a box of Twinkies or cupcakes, then I'd say it's unhealthy, but one is not a big deal. I don't necessarily agree with DH when he told her pizza is not healthy, but if she ate a lot of it, that's not good. He didn't ask her how much she ate but she gained almost 3 lbs in two days.

As for weighing her, she asks to go weigh herself. I told her what Ceph said about fluctuating a couple of pounds and that everyone does. She will go ride her bike for ten or fifteen minutes and want to come inside and weigh herself to see if she's lost any weight. I have a problem with her feeling like it's punishment to go ride her bike and that she thinks the way she does, that she is only riding to lose weight. I want it to be fun for her and enjoy activities and not have it all tied to her weight. But, it's hard to avoid connecting it altogether. She can't do the things she does enjoy because she gets exhausted because of her weight, so she's making the connection that way.

I know the major issue has less to do with food and more to do with her feelings and she's eating to fill a void or for comfort. She was in counseling for a year and only got worse. Her mom won't participate and lies to her (which is making the situation worse as well). Instead of dealing with her feelings of abandonment, her counselor wanted her to discuss with her mom how she feels and when she did, her mom tells her that she can come live over there with her, which is a lie because she never even discussed it with DH. So, SD was thinking mom really wants her over there but we won't let her because that is what her mom is telling her. The counselor wanted BM to come to a session but the only thing BM wanted to talk to the counselor about was to try and find out if we are talking about her and what we are saying. The only things I ever told the counselor is that SD might be upset because her mom canceled or broke a promise so SD could talk to the counselor, but most of the time, SD would tell the counselor about things her mom had promised her and then later when it didn't happen, she'd make excuses for her mom, it was never her mom's fault that the promises got broken. The counselor tried to get her mom involved but no luck. Now, the counselor has moved out of state and if we get another counselor, BM would have to approve and that's not likely. I paid for it last year and this year, I've decided that I'm not wasting my money if BM is not going to participate and if she is going to undermine the process. I want SD to get help, but I am not her mother and I don't have the influence on her that her mother has so all that is achieved, is BM tells SD what she wants to hear and we end up being the bad guys while BM ends up as the victim. So, unless BM thinks she needs counseling, for now it's not going to happen.

I'd like to see her get into some activities and make friends and stay busy. I don't think ignoring the problem is going to make it go away, but I think that if we don't focus on what BM is doing, eventually SD is going to realize that her mom is lying to her (sure, she knows it now, but she protects her so she won't admit it... she's in denial) and when SD shows that she wants to deal with it, then she'd probably have more success in counseling. I don't think SD was really participating in the counseling much either, she was usually more interested in what snack the counselor was going to give her. So, I haven't given up that counseling will help her, but I think she needs to mature a little bit to realize she needs to participate in the process, even if her mom won't. If her parents decide to put her in counseling, I'll drive her, but I'm not paying for it.

LOL, Ima. It's funny to me that you make gravy for DH's grilled chicken...

I do the cooking at our house. FDH's version of "cooking" is spaghetti with canned sauce), so he does the dishes.

Since I do the cooking, everyone else eats what I eat. I am mostly vegetarian (I eat fish/seafood about once a week) so that means FDH and A__ are too. I'm a good cook, it took A__ months to notice that we never ate meat at home, and FDH said that he rarely thinks "This meal is missing meat" because I use lots of beans, mushrooms, cheese, heavy grains, etc - things that substitute the protein, fat, volume, or texture of meat.

It's funny how much flak I get for "not cooking meat for him (gasp)" so it makes me chuckle to think of making gravy so that he'd eat grilled chicken.
I have actually had people tell me "You should make a main meat dish for him and then he can eat your meal as a side." I tell them exactly what I think of that "No. I'm already making one delicious meal that he is perfectly able to eat. If he wants another, he can make it himself. It's ridiculous for me to do twice the work. If he wants some chicken in a stirfry, and he wants to cut it up, then I'll poke it around the pan for him, but I'm not going to make two separate meals."

If it was some sort of dietary restriction, I'd accommodate it as best I could, but he's unrestricted.

I'm not sure if it's a diagnosed medical condition, but DH has a narrow esophagus and has occasionally gotten food stuck and it ends up where it blocks food from going down. (he can still breath so he's not choking but he can't even get a sip of water down until the food either comes up or goes down) He has to drink a lot of liquid when eating and I think the gravy thing helps it go down easier too, although he loves the taste too. He cuts his meat up really tiny and chews well, but every onec in while, something gets stuck. I have done the heimlich maneuver on him many times in restaurants because he forgets to chew well or it's too dry. (lol, happened just yesterday) but he does eat fast too. One of my biggest arguments with him over food is that I love mushrooms and zuccinni in my spaghetti sauce and he likes it plain. I have made two kinds but usually, I make his and then add my stuff to it. SD likes the veggies added too. I don't mind doing a little extra work to accommodate his food preferences because he cleans the kitchen every night, even when he helps cook. I worry the most about his salt intake because it may cause health problems later. Right now, he's very active, very thin and very healthy. I wish I had his metabolism. (and DH's version of cooking is hamburger helper) lol

"One of my biggest arguments with him over food is that I love mushrooms and zuccinni in my spaghetti sauce and he likes it plain."

LOL - this is my house as well - your DH and mine could be brothers, only mine doesn't like gravy. I have the same problem of getting the kids to eat different veggies and try new things because DH is a very meat and potatoes type of guy who doesn't like ethnic foods, spices or many fruits/veggies. It's hard to make them eat something daddy doesn't. We'll let the kids have a few fries, but a big helping of corn has to go with it. Cheese and mayo are DH's two favoroite garnishes, so I buy them low fat which he grumbles about but eats.

Mainly DH does the cooking as I got tired of him picking through the things I made and taking out all the good stuff. Finally I told him if he was going to be so picky he could do the cooking, but there has to be a veggie. He would do just the meat and call it good were it up to him! Now he will make two sauce versions - one with the good stuff and one without. He sautes me mushrooms to go on pretty much everything (my favorite food!) so I keep him around. :-)

I am not surprised that your SD wanted fries when she saw her father eating them. It is great, and fairly unusual, for a nine year old to like a lot of vegetables. I think if he really wants her not to gain weight, the least he can do is set a good example by eating only the foods he thinks she should be eating, especially when she is around.

Zucchini in spaghetti sauce? I wouldn't mind mushrooms too much, but none of the kids nor their father can stand them.

I agree TOS, but he simply won't eat veggies and until he met me, he never fed her veggies or fruit either, he fed her what he ate and she was grossly overweight. At five years old, her face was so round, her eyes looked like dots. She really looked like she was in pain when she tried to do any physical activity and I felt bad for her. I think at 5, she weighed 60-65 lbs. (I can't remember now, but I know that last school year, she was wearing a capri pair of pants that barely fit her like long pants when she was 5, and they fit her just right at 9) I couldn't believe how much he fed her, the same size portion he ate. He had no idea about nutrition or how to feed kids, but then neither does her mom.

He even told me that she doesn't like vegetables but when I would make them for me, she wanted some too. He was surprised she likes them. I give her stuff she likes, but she wants greasy, salty foods that he eats and it may be a good idea for him to eat after she goes to bed. But, then we usually eat at the same time because it's the only time we all get to sit down together and well, it was one of my (and DH's) favorite childhood memories.. the family sitting down at dinnertime. It seems rare today that families sit down for dinner so we make it a point to do that everyday. In all honesty, her plate looked better than his. I'd rather have a bowl of fruit than fries... it's sweeter, and yeah I love fries, but they make me feel a little sluggish after eating them (well any greasy foods). At lunch time is a better time for that kind of food since you have the rest of the day to burn it off, but right before bed, I think it's better to eat lighter. (especially since it was Sunday and after the long drive from her mom's, it was already 9pm and she was going straight to bed after dinner) Usually, we eat around 6:30 or 7 and she goes to bed at 8:30-9. Maybe because I'm female and females tend to diet or watch what we eat more than guys, it's always something I think about and he doesn't. He'd feed her a heavy meal and send her off to bed without thinking that it's going to be stored calories and convert to fat.

Any way daddy-o will change his eating habits for the health and safety of his kid? I agree the examples need to start at the top, and it's something we wrestle with here. I stick to tamer veggies and such, and ask DH to do the 2 bite try just like the kids.

Hubby has changed somewhat, he eats what I make and I cook more lean meats and don't fry anything. It's more that he can't or won't give up the extra sauces and fatty condiments. He will eat corn or green beans, but that's about it, but it doesn't matter because if I make other veggies, SD will eat them. The two bite try won't work with him. lol, he has quirks about textures of foods and he has a few strange habits. (he'll eat pickles with his burger but it can't be on the burger, he will take them out. The crunchiness bothers him.) Yes, I know it's weird. lol but for my own sanity, I accepted that I cannot change him well before I married him.

It's just when he has something she can't, she gets upset. She loves carbs (bread, rice, potatoes, etc.) and we try to limit her carbs because she doesn't burn calories. She will usually get a small serving but she wants a lot. We don't eat sweets much and if he is going to eat sweets (Ice cream, etc.) he will wait until she is asleep.

While I agree hubby could give up those things or not eat them in front of her, the bigger problem is that her mom doesn't limit anything she eats. Last night, she asked if she can weigh herself. DH told her no and to stop stressing on her weight. We talked to her again about making choices and I told her that her that eating stuff just because she can or wants to, there is a consequence. I told her daddy burns up all the food he eats at work and working outside, while I don't burn up nearly as much as he does, so I can't eat like him. I told her that if I eat because I'm bored or sad, then I will gain weight unless I exercise more to burn it off. I also told her that if someone puts a plate of pancakes with chocolate syrup in front of her, she doesn't have to eat the whole thing. She grinned and said she put the chocolate syrup on it. DH told her that she can ask for something else or make a choice not to eat that or not eat a lot of it, but she gets to make that choice. He didn't tell her that she should or shouldn't, or that anyone did anything wrong, but just told her she has to learn how to make choices for herself.

"he has quirks about textures of foods and he has a few strange habits. (he'll eat pickles with his burger but it can't be on the burger, he will take them out. The crunchiness bothers him.)"

Oh my God. They are brothers. And I thought my DH was the only weirdo like this!

LMAO... I thought I married the ONLY ONE!!!!! too funny!!!

Now I don't feel so alone!

"While I agree hubby could give up those things or not eat them in front of her, the bigger problem is that her mom doesn't limit anything she eats."

I think the bigger problem is that she is going to base her eating habits on what she sees her parents doing, not on what anyone tells her.

I have never limited anything my children eat, unless it is because they have to share - eg you only get 2 doughnuts because 12/6 kids=2. My kids vary considerably in weight and build, and it seems to have little to do with their activity level or food consumption. Some of them seem to burn as many calories while sleeping as others do while at swim team practice.