Is SS also telling you things that his BM supposedly does? sometimes kids that age make an attempt to play parents against each other. I think it would be worth it, next time, to say to BM that SS seems to be telling a lot of exaggerated stories lately, and I will agree to check out any unbelievable story with you before accepting it at face value, if you will do the same for me.

Thats how my ex and I stopped it, when it happened with one of our kids. We both agreed to keep calm, and check the story out before reacting in a negative way. That way the reward of stirring the pot isnt there for SS.

Your husband needs to be slapped upside the head. What the hell is he thinking? its BEYOND the wrong way to handle it , to threaten to remove the other parent from the childs life.

The next call you get may very well be BM pissed off because SS told her "daddy says he is taking us away and you will never see us again"

Well its complicated by BM being an extreme alcoholic (DH has full custody) so when SS11 does this and she's drinking....things get crazy really quick.

No he tells us no stories about his BM, its all one sided :(

"This is just two examples but it keeps happening with SS11. I don't know if he does it for the attention, or to try to make us fight or what."

My STBSS does the same thing. We (fiance and myself) believe it is because he gets a huge reaction from his mom. He tells her "bad" things that happened at our house, but the problem is--they are never true. He will do what your SS does, which is take a kernel of truth and then completely exaggerate it to get his BM riled up. It's not just us he does this with, he does it about his teachers/school, too.

Last year, he would constantly tell his mom that his teacher was "mean" or "rude" to him and she would flip out and call the school, call the teacher, call my fiance and b*tch about it, etc. A lot of this was in front of her son.

She actually told him at one point that she was going to "kick his teacher's ass."

If he complains to BM about something over here, then inevitably BM will call either me or my fiance, often while STBSS is right there, in the car with her or whatever--and holler and yell and make threats.

I truly believe these kids learn to do this because of the reaction they get.

STBSS has complained only a handful of times to us about stuff at his mom's, and I think the reason is--we do not react to it. We simply say "oh, well, that's a problem for your mom's house."

The counselor he has been seeing has said that's how we (and BM) should handle it. Now, obviously, if it were some BIG issue, some sort of allegation where STBSS's safety were at stake, then, of course, my fiance could talk to BM or vice versa. But if it's just simple stuff then we are to tell him that it needs to be taken up with his BM--and she is to tell him the same thing when he complains to her.

This is supposed to minimize the playing parents against one another as much as possible.

Problem is--BM doesn't DO this, she gives him a big old reaction and I think that's why he continues to do it.

Stepson is probably doing this because he gets a reaction from his mom. If she's an alcoholic or absent parent, he wants HER attention. He might even feel sorry for her so he isn't going to tell you anything she does wrong and risk getting her in trouble. (or making her look bad) This is what my SD did this last year when she started telling her mom that I hit her. She started with telling her I was mean to her and when that wasn't enough, she said that whenever her dad leaves, I hit her.

Meanwhile, when SD 'reports' stuff about mom to DH, we ignore it. We tell her 'that's nice' or 'that may be how it's done at your mom's but here, we do this'. She usually tells him that mom lets her do this or that. I don't think she's trying to get mom in trouble, but she wants dad to let her do those things and if he thinks mom lets her, then maybe he will too.

We finally resolved some of the problem by having a sit down with BM where SD admitted she lied. Whether BM believes it or not is up to her (she tends to want to believe the worse about me) but now, at least SD knows that I will talk to her mom, even if her mom is telling her how much she doesn't like me. (BM won't say that to my face, but she tells her daughter)

I won't know how successful the talk was, until she comes back to start school, but I'm hopeful. [and that talk may be why SD has had an attitude with me??]

SD would do that quite a bit - a lot with her mom and a bit with me - usually to get a reaction from her mom. It could be sympathy, it could be anger, but it was calculated. She knew if she went to her mom and said "JNM won't let me have a bikini" that her mom would go get her one so she would be the "good mom." If she couldn't have a sleepover because of an offense mom would make sure she had one the following weekend on her visitation. You get the picture? Conversely, she would (and still tries to) come to me to complain about how selfish or self centered her mom is, I think in hopes I'll validate her feelings. That one is a fine line to walk!
What we found worked best if she gave us a story about how mean mom was or some crazy thing mom said was to reply "wow - that's pretty wild. Let's call mom right now and see if we can't work this out. 8 out of 10 times she would start to revise her story real quick, and the other 2 we knew she was likely being truthful and we'd address it from there.

I see that you are the one to have to make the calls to mom . . . is there any chance she would make the calls to you when this happens, or does she like the drama and the fact you are so 'horrible' to him?

Your DH totally handled that the wrong way. That is not ever a threat to make, and one that could get him in trouble.

I agree with posters when they say ss is trying to get moms attention. Maybe he is hoping that if he makes the situation sound so bad she will want to get him out of it and see him more. And I agree that dh handled it wrong by threatening to take kids away from bm completely. What did that threat really solve? IMO it created another problem instead.

Well I decided to try a 'call him out' approach last night, got all three of us together and asked him to explain to both of us what happened on some of these occasions...

He was NOT expecting that (BM and I usually do NOT get along at all, but it was nice to have a united front on this one).

Oh man, did he squirm and try to tell new versions of the stories.. then she lectured him on lying and I lectured him on blaming his younger brother.. I hope this makes him realize he can't do this for attention... but like you all said as long as she initially reacts to it, he'll do it. I'm hoping it being pointed out to her how fabricated his stories can be will make her stop and think before freaking out. I guess it will depend on her mental state on any given evening.

The three of you getting together and "calling him out" was the best solution. BM is aware now. She saw his reaction first hand and could obviously tell he has been lying. It probably nipped it in the bud now that the truth has surfaced.

He'll have no reason to think his lies will get a reaction anymore and he sees that you guys (all 3) will collaborate on issues involving the children making it hard for him to play the manipulate the parents game.....which it appears teens LOOOOVE to do:)

Unless he is like my SD who will keep telling different people different stories to see what kind of reaction she can get out of people.....

He might even continue the behaviors to get all of you to give him the attention he is craving ... even negative attention is better than no attention at all.

Thats what I'm worried about pseudo..when we had him in counseling even his counselor said he 'will say whatever he thinks you want to hear or helps his situation'. We notice he even does this with kids his own age. He is always the 'victim' with his friends, he's been doing it so much lately that none of the kids in our neighborhood want to play with him. He'll start a fight or be a jerk to someone, then come home crying that everyone picks on him. I've even talked to the other kids and their parents a few times thinking he was telling me the truth..boy was I embarrassed when 7 other people (including his brother SS7) told a completely different story.

"He is always the 'victim' with his friends, he's been doing it so much lately that none of the kids in our neighborhood want to play with him. He'll start a fight or be a jerk to someone, then come home crying that everyone picks on him."

That sums up my STBSS to a tee!

My fiance and I have commented, and even his own mother has, that he seems to have this attitude that everyone is "out to get him." And the person/people he feels are out to get him changes depending on his mood. One day it's his dad, one day it's me, one day it's his teacher, or it's the kids at school, then it's his mom's BF's daughter....

It is very disturbing and sad, too. Any time he gets reprimanded, it becomes a "poor little me" syndrome. He got a red stoplight (green, yellow, red) at school yesterday and he must have spent about 15 minutes crying last night because 'it wasn't his fault, it was his crabby teacher's fault."

My fiance and I are kind of at a loss as to how to handle that, and how to help him have a more positive attitude.

Does your SS have any kind of diagnosis? I have read up on a lot of STBSS's "symptoms" and keep coming across Oppositional Defiant Disorder.

AS dumb as this sounds ... use KKNY's advice ratio 7:1 catch him being good ... I know tough at times reward the little things ... it helped with my SS's my SD well thats a whole other story ... but the boys liked rewards ... I would keep gum in my pocket they love gum but are not "allowed" to have it because they leave it everywhere I have even found it in the ice bin in the freezer but anyway .... when I saw them doing something nice they got a piece of gum so the others responded by doing nice things too to get gum... (hubby used to call them dog treats) ...

My SD is on the same train as your SS ... tunnel up ahead!!

Oppositional Defiant Disorder:

* frequent temper tantrums
* excessive arguing with adults
* active defiance and refusal to comply with adult requests and rules
* deliberate attempts to annoy or upset people
* blaming others for his or her mistakes or misbehavior
* often being touchy or easily annoyed by others
* frequent anger and resentment
* mean and hateful talking when upset
* seeking revenge

Yep...unfortunately every one of those accept the revenge one.

The thing that worries me is the anger and resentment and the mean and hateful talking when upset is ALWAYS directed at SS7. He'll tell him he wishes he was never born, he'll say everything is his fault and he gets away with it, all sorts of stuff. Some of it really made me mad - like he told him he hoped he would never have children because he would kill them. Of course, SS7 was crying so hard he was shaking when he told him that and SS11 claimed innocence..but he's dropped the 'kill' word at his brother many times previously as reported by other kids (never infront of me or his father) so I'm more likely to believe it happened. DH swears up and down he's a 'good' kid at heart...I have my doubts. He treats my three boys, his half brothers, wonderfully. Its just his bio brother and myself and his mother that he is mean to.

Yep, that is the list. I can relate so many of those things to my STBSS, as well. The only one he doesn't really do is number 1--he doesn't seem to have temper tantrums much at all, occasionally, he will, but nothing that seems out of the ordinary to me.

But--he has a real problem with authority. He just cannot stand for anyone to "tell him what to do." This causes a huge problem with everything, even simple things like homework. He just does not want to hear anyone--me, fiance, teacher, mom, etc.--tell him how or what to do.

He is very resentful, especially of me and my DD, but this may be situational. I know he dislikes the fact that she lives at our house all the time, and I know he feels "threatened" by her role in the family.

He is extraordinarily mean and hateful when he's angry. He tells his dad that he wants his mother's BF to be his new dad, he always uses the word hate to me, my DD, his dad, his teachers, etc. Tells people he wishes they were dead or had never been born.

It is all very disturbing.

One of the things he said that just broke my heart....last year, his class went to a farm on a field trip, and the kids got to feed the baby goats. He LOVED this, and he told his teacher "I wish my mom and dad loved me as much as those cute little goats love me." :( The teacher called his mom and dad to discuss the comment.

I don't know why he feels that they don't love him...but that was so troubling to hear, and I believe it is at the root of a lot of his issues.

"Its just his bio brother and myself and his mother that he is mean to."

sometimes, I think, people seem to lash out THE MOST at the people they are closet to. (((HUGS)))

i suspect your SS thinks that if his parents would really love him, they would stay together and he could just live in one house with both of them.

when my DD's father left his long time girlfriend, his son said to DD: my dad does not love me. when DD asked what made him think so he said: because if my dad would love me he would live with me all the time and I would not have to go back and forth between mom's and dad's houses.

it could be the case with your SS.

"i suspect your SS thinks that if his parents would really love him, they would stay together and he could just live in one house with both of them."

I think this is probably true. He has said a few times that he wishes all of us---BM, dad, me, my DD, his mom's boyfriend, their baby--could live together.

I am just surprised he has these issues given the fact that they've been split up since before he was 1--he has never known any different.

But I do think you are right....not sure how that can be addressed? I know both his parents have assured him they both love him very much, and "are still a family, even though they don't all three live together"...but HA, what a bunch of crap! Kids are smart and I know he knows that's not true.

"He has said a few times that he wishes all of us---BM, dad, me, my DD, his mom's boyfriend, their baby--could live together."

I have gotten that as well with the girls. They are just to young to understand the dynamics of adult relationships and how complicated they can be.

""i suspect your SS thinks that if his parents would really love him, they would stay together and he could just live in one house with both of them."

He's got a point.

I m sure thats what my SSs think, great point, why cant we all be together....,.Uh........ mom should have thought of that before she started an affair with the guy across the street.......

Ditto Dotz....if we all lived in Mr. Rodgers neighborhood it might work but HELLO! Marriages end for a reason and it sometimes is because the couple can no longer live together.

doddle, we adults might know why marriages don't work, but not the kids. can't expect kids to understand why mommy and daddy are no longer together.

dotz, not to say there is anything wrong with your DH but I am strongly convinced that women do not cheat when their needs are met. women cheat out of desperation and loneliness. it is not an excuse, cheating is never right. but i doubt any woman would cheat on wonderful husband. why would she?

"I am strongly convinced that women do not cheat when their needs are met"

Same for men, in my humble opinion.

Was Mr Rogers married in his neighbourhood? I always thought of him as a creepy old man :)

Apology Sieryn for change of topic, but will answer on this thread to avoid confusion, maybe new cheating thread warranted(again..... groan)While I agree in threory with needs not being met may cause cheating...In DHs case I think the problem with her needs was they were unreasonable(and mentally unstable)...Ex has been described to me as a battler...Her and her mother fought with all the people on the block over percieved injustices to them, to the point of wanting DH to ASSAULT the neighbors when he came home after 12 hour days, 6 days weeks to provide the material benefits Ex wanted, but didnt care to contribute toward providing...Ex and mother went to the point of purchasing a gun..OMG, they have both been arrested for intimidation and assault of a police officer, no less..Still DH didnt want the marriage to end, just the crazy behavior..But she told him to leave and went to the guy across the street who immediately dumped her(because she wasnt married anymore, she was safe to mess around with only when she was married, he didnt want after that....So, he did every thing right, he grieved the end of the marriage, didnt date for years until he was ready, and when I was the first one to date him, she wanted him back......In the six years I ve been with him, he s shown himself to be a man of immpeccable character, and I dont worry one bit about her junky needs being met...He meets and exceeds MY expectations every day.....

dotz -- sounds just like my DH. Bm was also very unstable and refused to work, so DH would work two jobs to support the family, then have to come home and do all the housework because she couldn't 'find the time' to do any of it, THEN have to put the kids to bed because they 'only listen to Dad and stress her out'...

"But she told him to leave and went to the guy across the street who immediately dumped her(because she wasnt married anymore, she was safe to mess around with only when she was married, he didnt want after that....So, he did every thing right, he grieved the end of the marriage, didnt date for years until he was ready, and when I was the first one to date him, she wanted him back....."

Sounds JUST LIKE what happened to DH...except it wasn't some guy across the street, it was a mcdonalds fry cook who was about 12 years younger than she was.

On the subject of everyone living together in a 'nice big happy family' the kids have never really asked for that. My younger SS has been with us only so long that everytime he has a visitation with his mom he whines that he 'misses home' and is really kind of indiffrent to his biomom.

Older SS doesn't want us all together because he doesn't want us on the same page. He HATES any event where DH and BM are both there (because he can't play sides) and does his best to try to limit their conversations regarding him.

LOL on the Fry cook sieryn, we ve moved on to a jobless homeless fat biker man LOL...The problem with the older step S is I feel he just think his dad up and left angel mom...Geez he was forced out...In the time I ve known my SS he is just, I dunno, seething with resentment...Can it be he doesnt know the TRUTH about Trampolina? That if I wasnt standing in the way,they COULD get back? Younger one is fine, I think he actually LIKES me..He visits, talks, seems OK with me....

Finedreams-

I know the kids can't understand. I was semi-replying to TOS's "He's got a point statement".

This is a tough one for me. FDH's X cheated, left him, moved back in and forced HIM out of the house, divorced him and then almost immediately married ANOTHER man (who wasn't the one she cheated with) and got pregnant. So it's hard for me to believe that she did all of this because she wasn't getting her "needs" met. Give me a break.......it acted like a mercenary intent on wrecking his life.

She did all of this well before FDH and I met. Their divorce was final a year before he and I started dating. After we started dating, she turned everything around to make it look like it was all my fault and that I was the reason they didn't get back together. FSD actually told FDH that if I wasn't around that they could be a family again. He told her "WHAT? Your mom is MARRIED and has baby with him." So, it was evident that FSD had the idea that I was keeping her parents from getting back together. Who gave her that idea or led her to believe that it was true? Could've only been BM. Who knows what lies that woman has told her about us........

Okay I missed that one..
TOS --
""i suspect your SS thinks that if his parents would really love him, they would stay together and he could just live in one house with both of them."

He's got a point.

You know what? My DH was DONE with BM - moving out - had it with her craziness - and THEN she turns up pregnant. He at that point decided 'you know I didn't have a father so regardless about how I feel I'm going to do whats best for my son' so he marries her, supports her and he put up with her crap for close to a decade.

His father DOES love him and he KNOWS it. If his father didn't love him he wouldn't have fought so hard to get full custody, put him in good schools, coach his sports or help him with his homework.

DH did try to make it work 'for the sake of the kids' but there comes a point where you have to draw a line. After she cheated and ran off, was he just supposed to accept her back so they could be a family again?

I know it caused my DH extreme pain to leave his children, for her un met needs, and causes me even more to be seen as an interloper causing all the pain for poor mom after all these years..Like I said, I think one kid gets it, one doesnt......

""i suspect your SS thinks that if his parents would really love him, they would stay together and he could just live in one house with both of them."

He's got a point.

If both parents really love their children, neither one would cheat and neither one would leave.

Oh I m SO glad you finally got it TOS!!!! MOM cheated, making me a SM.....Guess she doesnt love her children....And I m off the hook.....

Active addicts are incapable of loving anyone, including themselves.

"If both parents really love their children, neither one would cheat and neither one would leave."

But what if the Parents don't love each other, fight constantly and are generally miserable? Are they just supposed to stick it out regardless for the sake of the children? Wouldn't raising them in a home without love be more damaging in the long run TOS?

Parents who love their children put effort into improving their marriage, into sustaining their love for each other, and into improving their skills so disagreements don't turn into fights.

ladies, I was talking about what KIDS think not what we adults think. kids wish their parents were together. we might know that mom is cheated or daddy was selfish, but kids do not understand that. we can think whatever we want, that's not what kids think (young kids).

it seems to me that no men admit that they are the ones to ruin the marriage or at least that they contributed to it. sounds like evryone here says that their DH's X was a cheating witch. in my expereince too almsot every man says his X was awful and cheated and left. i bet you it is not what their wives think. not like men are lying, no, but it is a matter of perspective. If we ask all these women, they would tell us very different stories.

it just occured to me that we don't have to look very far for proof of a different perspective of who did what in marriage. I just remembered that KKNY said her X's SO claims that KKNY cheated on DH(or maybe her exDH says that too). Here you go. marriage failed because KKNY cheated. lol we all know it is not the case.

all we know it is what our BFs or DHs tell about what their exes did or didn't do. that's how they see it. does not mean it is ultimate truth.

Fine, agreed, Ex would tell different story than DH FOR SURE, on marriage failure but lets now look at how the 2 people have conducted their lives for the past, lets just say 5 years.....Who would be more credible, in your eyes, the guy that paid his bills, went to work everyday, had lots of nice , supportive friends and no substance abuse problems,didnt date, or fool around with numerous woman, paid his CS faithfully,.......OR trainwreck, vindictive substance abusing, living off CS, serial dater(putting that nicely)leaving SS alone for weekend jaunts with new beaus,phone call screamin, Email nasty sending sweetheart of an Ex........Gonna have to put my faith in my DH being the one telling the truth from what I ve seen.....And believe me, I m not a naive person.....

Actually...I heard 'the story' from the BM - she knows she cheated and 'ruined EVERYTHING' to quote one of her drunken rants.

I know you were referring to the kids fine, I was responding to TOS's comments on everyone should 'suck it up' for the good of their children. You say parents who love their children put effort into their marriage - I've seen many couples where each parent loves their children dearly - but are just so different from each other that they clash on almost everything.

You are right that they wouldn't cheat if they considered their children TOS...I agree 100%.

Once it's happened and the trust is gone and the love turns to resentment and then hate though, it's better for the parents to seperate. SOmetimes the seperation halps parents to be better parents. When Jonathan divorced his Ex he got clean, got a job at home and started spending more time with his kids. He stayed gone to avoid her because it got to the point all they did was fight and sometimes it got physical.

Jonathan and his Ex should of never of happened in the first place. They were awful as a couple...completely horrible to each other and miserable. If I can offer any advice to any young pregnant girl it would be do not get married just because you are pregnant. It is the worst thing you could do. You will end up divorced ON TOP of being a single parent.

"Active addicts are incapable of loving anyone, including themselves."

This is VERY VERY true. At the time they were married they were BOTH addicts. Jonathan tried to go clean but if you know anything about addiction you can't be around it if you're trying to quit. His Ex stayed trashed. When the fighting would start it would be a downward spiral for him back to the bottom of the ladder. He couldn't stop untill he left her.

He doesn't even drink anymore. It's been two years. He HAD to get away from her to be a good father....Oh, and she was a serial cheater as well. She hasn't changed a bit unfortunatly. It is a good thing that daddy got his priorities straight or the girls would be in big trouble.

Believe me I sure as hell wouldn't be with him if he was the way he use to be!

I dont believe that two people should stay together for their kids sake. THey will hate and resent one another if they are both not mature enough to get over one another.
BUt there are people i know who have done it and they are happy.
My best friends parents are a perfect example.
His father owned a restaurant business and he cheated with one of the waitresses. Well his mother new about it and stayed for the sake oftheir son. BUT she told her husband, now thatyouve slept with another you are not coming in my bed any longer. Divorce is not an option. We have achild and we will raise it as friends.
THey live till this day under that same roof. BUt in separate bedrooms as she demanded. She will cook and clean for him and take care of her son, my bestfriend. And she stayed with him for better or for worse. BUt both their characters allowed this to happen. And this is rare. I understand why TOS would say this. THere are situations where the parents do stay togehter but its rare! And its very difficult to put aside feelings of betrayal and hate for the sake of their kids. And to keep those feelings from spilling into the household as well.
I commend my friends parents for that alone. But my friend knew his parents were not 'together' and it still makes him sad, He even said he would have rather see them split. And he is now 36 years old.

"all we know it is what our BFs or DHs tell about what their exes did or didn't do. that's how they see it. does not mean it is ultimate truth."

I agree, that is why before I got serious with ANY guy, I'd go down to the courthouse and pull his divorce file (and any other files with his name on it) and see what was said on paper BEFORE he met me. Sure, it could be lies flung at each other but it gave me an idea for red flags to look out for. I saw a file on a guy I was dating where his ex said he got drunk and was abusive. He seemed like such a sweet guy and sure enough, I started to notice he DID have a drinking problem and if I had stayed, he might have gotten abusive with me too.

and I agree dotz, stories of the past are just stories and both can embellish them. But, when you watch with your own two eyes, year after year, it becomes clear who is doing what.

IMA, Right on the checking up too... I dont care what anybody says about invasion of privacy, I m checking to get what info I can about someone I m bringing into my life or home...Scorecard on internet check of DH ...... traffic ticket ten years ago...EX DUI and 2 felonies......I despise Dr Phil, but I like.... Past behavior is indicative of future behavior...I m wondering why if Ex s needs were being unmet and she cheated, why would she want him back..I think its because he was a good faithful husband...I m not wearing blinders, thats all I can see knowing him(and OF) her for the last 6 years...

how do you get stuff at a court house? just wonder in case I need to get info on anyone.

Fine, most things on the court docket are a matter of public record, anyone can ask to see file if they have correct name spelling, dates, county occured would be good to have..My state would do no good to look up divorce records,all irrec diff, no fault state..... these two decided they cant reconcile blah blah, no reason needed to put dirt in there, reason most people do this is so kids dont have to see this someday..I ve seen Dhs papers , he s seen mine, there is no fault or dirt in them, LOL would be useless to try to judge him(or Me) LOL on them...His X however lives in a state where you can look up cases of crimes people have committed..Public record and there forever!!! Behave everybody

The reason I found out about Ex criminal past was checking docket for any new contempt of court or papers to be served on DH , comes up all lumped together..Since we ve been together, there have been 26 dockets dragged to court...So I pop in so I can schedule my work around the dates so I dont have to wait to be slammed with papers at the last minute and miss work..LOL I doubt she knows this tech exists...She bought SS a new pair of shoes...That means court papers coming too LOL

Dotz... is this in the bitter ex-wives handbook??

"...She bought SS a new pair of shoes...That means court papers coming too LOL"

BM does this too along with taking the kids to drs... then when they get to court she whips out the receipts... judge will say did you send him an invoice?? then he is not responsible for those bills ... but she does it every time ...

Hubby and ex were going to court every 3 months to 6 months ... its been 6 months they have a court date the end of this month MOTY hasn't paid her CS since April but she will have receipts for all that she "has done" for her kids. She's in for a shock I retained a lawyer ... no more playing games !! She's not going to drag my name through the mud without getting a little dirty herself.

aaarrrggghhh..Receipts!!! That is what only a person who has been thru this would catch onto, realizing shoes/court would be kinda cyrtic....Exactly...I know a game is coming because the ss told me his new shoes cost 80.00!!!!!She hasnt spent 80 bucks on him in 5 years!!!!Not on his entire wardrobe!!!And last night he called DS asking for his Stimulis check!!!(he s in High school)Do you think mom put him up to that? We dont get a check for him, but I m sure it will cost 1,000(her atty and ours) to go to court and say that, with the look what all I ve done fresh receipts in hand..The games afoot...

She called here last week flipping out because "hubby hasn't bought SS10 any clothes recently and he doesn't fit in anything ... well he has gained 30LBS this summer. He is 4"9" and weighs 135lbs. Hubby says I just went out and bought him 5 pairs of shorts. So she says to child daddys says he bought you 5 pairs of shorts... kids says yeah but I can't find them.

She called yesterday to tell us that the neighborhood kids mom is smoking pot and we shouldn't let SS13 go over to his house anymore ... I said to hubby where has she been???? he hasn't played with that kid since the end of school 2 months ago. Should I warn my neighbor BM's probably going to call DSS on her too.

I am not advocating pot smoking by any means ... but the neighbor is 27 years old ... was in an horrific accident 3 years ago lucky to be alive has no short term memory cannot remember a year prior to the accident at all. Suffers from severe brain damage and is in constant pain. So if she smokes pot I really don't care rather have her doing that than driving her car where she cannot remember how to get home half the time. SS13 is not allowed in her car because she got lost with him in the car... ended up in Connecticut.

BM's gathering "intel" so when we get to court she is MOTY and we are the bad guys.