Boy, where to begin on this.

Ge it seems that this relationship isn't anything that you thought it was going to be and you need to seriously decide if this is what you want for the rest of your life. The guy that you have now, is the guy that he is, and his children are part of him. Have you tried to spend time with them?

You may need a few weeks away from this situation to clear your head about your future choices.

Morning sickness is very real.

"Every Friday right after work his kids are at our house, all saturday, all sunday. B/c of the lack of discipline from his ex, they are up until midnight every night, sometimes later."

I disagree. They may do that at their mother's house, but if he allows it at his house, that's HIS fault, not his ex's. My SD stay up late at her mom's and at our house, she's in bed by 8:30 or 9. It sounds like he is parenting out of guilt. and it sounds like you are jealous of his children. That will probably only get worse once you have his child too, unless you deal with it now.

Colleen is right, he is what he is. He is showing you what his priorities are and that 'lovey dovey' phase of relationships is about over and the rose colored glasses come off... what you see is what you get. He sounds like an insensitive meat head. (but then again, I have limited info on him)

I apologize if this comes off as harsh, but nobody can tell you what to do. You can spend the next five or ten years waiting for the guy from a year ago to come back, but once they show you who they really are, they don't go back to THAT guy. 'That guy' is them putting their best foot forward and now, you have to choose to take him for who he is.... or leave.

Have the two of you ever discussed marriage previously, or having children together? What is his opinion on the pregnancy, and/or your future together? If you sat down and talked to him, and drew a hard line, would he be willing to make some changes and become a little bit more sensitive to your needs?

My husband is that lovey with his children as well. They live with us so this is an everyday thing BUT the difference is he still makes time to love me. It's a really good thing that he is such a loving father but it kindof concerns me that you are now pregnant and need EXTRA attention. I know all about being pregnant and emotional since I myself am pregnant. I mean, it takes one second to say I love you.

Have you told him how you feel at all? I wouldn't hold it in. Don't wait till it builds into a huge fight. He probably just misses his kids during the week and wants to make up for the lost time when he gets them on Friday night. He may be none the wiser of how out you feel.

There are a number of missing details here, and several red flags.

How old are you and your boyfriend? Was he married to the mother of his two kids?

So, he had a two year old and a new baby when you started your relationship with him. Why did his relationship with his wife/girlfriend end so soon after the baby was born?

His children are very young, and it's only natural for him to want to spend a lot of time with them and be affectionate. They have to be a priority in his life.

A 2 year old and a 4 year old should not be staying up until midnight (or sometimes later as you said) at anyone's house. You can't blame the ex for what goes on at your home.

Is this man still in love with you? It doesn't sound like it. He appears to be very immature, at best.

You should seriously think about leaving him, even though you are pregnant. Find a good support group so that you are not so alone.

I wouldn't per se call a guy who is so lovey dovey wiht his children insensitive. he might be missing them the whole week and that's why he is focused on them. DD lived wiht me and although i am a lovey dovey tyope of woman i would not be all over smooching all the time because I saw her every day! But when she went to see her dad he would be all lovey dovey non stop because he did not get to see her every day.

I suggest you tell him how you feel and maybe he can cut in his gym time so he can be with you more on the weekdays. I also suggest maybe you should not sit home on weekdays but join some groups like bookclub maybe or somehting and get out of the house. I know it is tough to find what to on weeknights plus you are probably tired from working, but you can find somehting, even sitting at the library and reading.

FD, I said he is insensitive because of this:

"I got a book to help me figure out this preggo thing, and it made me understand a bit why I feel what I feel. His response is "oh you arent really naseous, you just think you are because the book says it, the mind is a powerful thing"."

That's pretty insensitive... anyone that has had a child knows that morning sickness, mood swings and hormonal changes are not imaginary or influenced by what you read in a book. Maybe his attitude is why things didn't work out with his ex so soon after the second baby was born. Maybe he wasn't very supportive. Maybe he spent too much time at the gym and not enough time being a husband/father. He's not insensitive for spending time with his kids...

Ima I see, sorry, i missed that. I guess i had too many posts to read after my absense so I skimmed this one. yeah sounds pretty insensitive. next time when he is sick with something i would tell him: you are not really sick it is just your mind tells you that you are sick. lol

You need to talk to a lawyer to get support & financial help for the baby.

This "relationship" is over.

He's a father twice over already, so he darned well knows about pregnancy/morning sickness/hormones.

He isn't scoffing at your queasiness because he doesn't believe it exists;
he's scoffing because he doesn't want to hear about it.

Once things start going downhill, they never get better;
they get worse.

You're pregnant with this loser's baby, & he's treating you like dirt;
what do you imagine it's going to be like when you have a newborn?

Get out of there & make a good life for yourself & your baby.

I wish you the best.

I know I left out quite a bit, I didn't want to ramble.

I'm 27, my boyfriend is 28. He was never married to his ex, they were together 1 year and already broken up when she came to him and said she was pregnant. He got back with her, they tried to salvage a relationship for their son's sake, and eventually he proposed to her and they were engaged, and had a daughter. Lived together 5 years and eventually he left her on the basis that she treated him badly, spoke to him with great disrespect and they eventually had nothing left for each other.

With that said, we have discussed our future. We've both talked about marriage, and children, spending out lives together, all the things we would like to be able to hopefully do. He actually approached me on the subject a few months back, saying "I do want to marry you, and I wanted to talk to you about starting a family". & as much as I don't really want to admit it, this pregnancy wasn't entirely an accident, we were almost trying.

Someone mentioned earlier that I sound jealous of his children? Absolutely. When I see the man I want to spend my life with being affectionate, hugging, kissing, saying I Love You, and it being directed toward others and not myself, I am 100% jealous. And why shouldn't I be? Isn't the point of being in a relationship with anyone to be happy with each other, getting a loving comforting feeling from the other person? If you don't have that than what should keep you in the relationship?

I don't dislike his children, they're fun, they like me, we have a good time together. It's just when I see them run his life, how the word NO doesnt mean anything to them, how rules seem to be in one ear and out the other, that I wonder if it's just "young kids" or if this is a trend that will be allowed to continue once they get older.

I live entirely for this man, I love him so much, I work and pay bills and try and make a nice home for us. So with that, when they come over and I ask little (reasonable) things like "everyone has to eat food at the kitchen table" and later that day they're eating (and throwing) grapes and popcorn in my living room, which leads to me laying on the couch the following night after work and they are ants all over my couch. How I get bit (and bruised) by his kids, how things I've had for a decade and took such good care of get broken, things that meant something to me. How they have their own beds, but they take naps in our bed and then they wet the bed. Just so many little annoyances that are so easily avoided, and yet they can do no wrong in his eyes. I guess that's just having kids though, I bet if my own kids did things of that nature I wouldn't care so much, it's just so aggrivating when your things get broken and the ones who did it aren't yours.

The bedtime thing: I have told him repeatedly, this is OUR house, we have rules here. Children 2 and 4 should not be running around at midnight everynight, they should have structure and routine, it's good for them, and for us, we'd have an hour or two to actually spend together on a weekend. He tells me "it's not my fault, 5 days a week they're allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want, I can't change that in two days". We've had this conversation many times, he thinks there is nothing he can do when he doesnt have them "most" of the time, meanwhile I feel that "this is daddy's house, there are rules here". I feel guilty for trying to take charge when they arent mine, but if I don't I feel like he never will. He is like a big kid himself, I think sometimes when he has them he identifies better with them than with me. (in a child vs adult way)

I think the root of the problem mostly is that he makes NO effert to have any time with me. We work all day, he's at the gym everynight, and every weekend its all about him and the kids. I spend (maybe) 4 hours a week with him, and it's usually when sportscenter is on tv. This past 4th of July weekend, we were going to have the kids Friday all day, Saturday all day, and Sunday all day. After work on Thursday there were fireworks in a nearby town that we actually went to last year and had an amazing time. When I asked him if he would like to go to the fireworks with me (seeing as he would have his children the next 3 straight days and be more than likely ignoring me) he replies "i wanted to being the kids". We already had plans to bring the kids to fireworks the following night, and seeing as we havent done anything alone in so long I proposed again. He finally calls me later that night from the gym and says "fine, i'll sacrifice a night with my children to be with you". I lost it. He looks at a night with me as time I am stealing from him and his children, regardless of the fact that we NEVER spend time alone and he would have them for the next 3 days.

This doesnt even touch on the pregancy thing. A few nights ago I left and went to my parents house. I am always sitting home waiting for him, I'm always accounted for, always accessible. I feel like he takes me for granted so I left for two nights to let him know what it feels like for me not to be around. When I came back Sunday he's like "hey, you look kinda tense, why dont you have a beer?" I was like "what? hell no".. & he goes "oh. i forgot your pregnant". How should I take that? You forgot? I spend almost every evening home on my couch about to ralph and he forgot. Is that normal? Something that most men "forget" after you tell them? We've known for 3 weeks.

Maybe I'm overanalyzing, maybe I just have too much time to think about everything. All I know is that I feel sad, a lot, and I have dreamed about having a baby my whole life, I could have never imagined it being better than having it with him, and this is NOTHING like what I expected. I never thought he would "forget", I thought he would be more affectionate and attentive, is this is the least of the two I've ever experienced with him since we've met. I feel scared, and I assumed since he's been through this twice that maybe I'd have his experience to help me through this. He barely speaks to me about it, and when he does he makes me feel like because I read symptoms in a book then I am probably thinking I have them when I dont. SERIOUSLY though, I'm at work right now and I've been fighting the urge to get sick since I got here. Spent $15 between breakfast and lunch and havent been able to stomach either of them yet. Last week I asked him to get me a ginger ale after sitting on the couch unable to move for an hour (BTW- the nausea has only increased in the last three days, and I feel ashamed or like I'm whining if I bring it up) so he says to me "ugh, you're not gonna pull that "im pregnant" excuse on me all the time now are you?"

I am very independant, I ask him for little to nothing normally. And you know what? So what if I ask for a ginger ale? He makes it SO clear that he's over being the boyfriend to a pregnant girlfriend, and his is his third and he's "been there done that". Is it wrong that I feel like being pampered a little isnt a bad thing? I talk to my sister, whose husband had 2 kids before her and she tells me how amazing he was when she was having their first together. backrubs, foot rubs, just general being attentive and extra loving. I kinda thought I would have that too, I think that's why this is all just THAT much harder on me.

I'm really sorry to just go on and on like this, not gonna lie though, feels kinda good to vent. My apologies in advance for this novel though.

Ok, heres the thing with people who have kids. The kids are and should come first. Never confuse that. I know you love this guy, I love my husband too but his children, his two previous and the one I'm carrying, come first. I'd have it no other way. I'd lose respect for him if he shoved his children aside for me.

You say this man is your life...you have a child on the way and soon he/she will be your life (considering you are having this child for the right reasons) and then you'll better understand the parent/child bond.

That being said, my husband makes equal effort to spend time with his kids, me and also us together as a family unit. I NEVER feel completely disregarded.

The coldness towards your pregnancy worries me also. This is another child of HIS. If he is such a loving dad, why the uninterest in your pregnancy? J (hubs) has been fully supportive going to DR. Appt's, letting me sleep in on the weekends, making sure I take my vitamins everyday, making me eat fruits and veggies, exc. exc. The reason is he loves me but also HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE HEALTH OF HIS CHILD! This is his baby just as much as the girls. He is 100% involved for that reason. If this man loves his existing kids as much as you say why the obtuse behavior towards this pregnancy and the resulting baby which will be HIS KID?

Ok, heres the thing with people who have kids. The kids are and should come first. Never confuse that. I know you love this guy, I love my husband too but his children, his two previous and the one I'm carrying, come first. I'd have it no other way. I'd lose respect for him if he shoved his children aside for me.

You say this man is your life...you have a child on the way and soon he/she will be your life (considering you are having this child for the right reasons) and then you'll better understand the parent/child bond.

That being said, my husband makes equal effort to spend time with his kids, me and also us together as a family unit. I NEVER feel completely disregarded.

The coldness towards your pregnancy worries me also. This is another child of HIS. If he is such a loving dad, why the uninterest in your pregnancy? J (hubs) has been fully supportive going to DR. Appt's, letting me sleep in on the weekends, making sure I take my vitamins everyday, making me eat fruits and veggies, exc. exc. The reason is he loves me but also HE IS CONCERNED ABOUT THE HEALTH OF HIS CHILD! This is his baby just as much as the girls. He is 100% involved for that reason. If this man loves his existing kids as much as you say why the obtuse behavior towards this pregnancy and the resulting baby which will be HIS KID?

Computer glitch caused my reply to post twice

he sounds insensitive toward your pregnancy. i would have a serious tlak with him, i wonder how much you want o have children with a man who only seems to care about his other kids. child that you carry deserve his/her father too.

This guy sounds like he has a personality disorder, & there's nothing anybody can do about that.

He's hateful to you, he scoffs at your needs, he's had a complete change of personality since-what?-since you got pregnant?

so he feels like he's got control of you & you don't have any options, you have to put up with whatever he dishes out?

You say you "live entirely for this man", & now you want him to treat you like you matter.

He won't.

He doesn't have to.

He doesn't treat you like you matter right now, & yet you "live entirely for" him.

& he's not just treating your pregnancy badly;
he's treating *you* badly-
cavalierly, rudely, insultingly, abusively.

The pregnancy is just today's weak spot for him to aim at;
there'll always be something.

Right now he claims he doesn't believe that you have discomfort/morning sickness (establishing that he doesn't believe you is an important step toward total control), & he denigrates & scoffs at your requests for simple courtesy & consideration.

Getting somebody a Sprite is not 'pampering', it's just decent manners, whether the person is pregnant or just comfortable on the couch, & making an issue of it sets a very very very bad precedent.

This kind of thing does not get better;
it *always* gets worse.

If Sprite is an issue right now, just wait til that baby screams & has colic & you haven't slept in a week & you ask him to go get the little fella.

Anything you ask for is going to present him an opportunity to deny you what you want & to scoff at you & accuse you of trying to manipulate him into doing something for you.

& I'd check with his ex;
I'd bet the "disrespect" & "abuse" wasn't the way he claims to remembers it;
I'd bet he treated his first partner exactly like he's treating you-
sunshine & roses & romance & plans for the future until she got pregnant, & then he was in a position of power...
& his personality changed.

I'd even hazard a guess that this lovey-dovey stuff he's doing with his children is pure theater;
ask their mother how he treated them when he was living with them.

Can you imagine how confused & messed up they are?

You & your baby are just the next act in the drama of his life.

His ex & their children were Act 1,

You & your baby are Act 2,

...& there'll be more acts to follow, all identical with Acts 1 & 2, only different actresses & babies playing their parts.

You're in a bad situation, but you can still get out & make a good life for yourself & your baby.

Please get some perspective, whether it be from this forum or from a friend/relative/pastor, & get your life back.

You're about to be a mother, & your baby deserves better than this.

No baby deserves to be born into a nightmare like this.

"Someone mentioned earlier that I sound jealous of his children? Absolutely. When I see the man I want to spend my life with being affectionate, hugging, kissing, saying I Love You, and it being directed toward others and not myself, I am 100% jealous. And why shouldn't I be?"

BECAUSE THEY ARE HIS CHILDREN. YOU ARE NOT A CHILD. IF YOU WANT TO BE THE CENTER OF YOUR MAN'S UNIVERSE, FIND A MAN WITH NO CHILDREN AND NEVER HAVE CHILDREN WITH HIM. IF HE ISN'T DIRECTING IT TOWARDS YOU AT ALL, THEN THEREIN LIES YOUR PROBLEM. LISTEN TO SYLVIA.

"Isn't the point of being in a relationship with anyone to be happy with each other, getting a loving comforting feeling from the other person? If you don't have that than what should keep you in the relationship?"

YES, THAT IS THE POINT OF BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP. ONCE AGAIN... LISTEN TO SYLVIA.

"I live entirely for this man"

THAT'S A DANGEROUS STATEMENT. YOU SHOULD LIVE FOR YOURSELF AND NOW YOUR CHILD.

Does anyone else find it odd that he spends several hours a night at the gym, four days a week? And why does he shower BEFORE he goes to the gym?

Those are HUGE red flags, especially when combined with the lack of affection. I would bet my bottom dollar he is having an affair.

good point. it is not odd to go to gym 4 days a week, but shower story sounds odd. people shower after gym not before. i work out at least every other day, and I certainly NEVER took a shower prior to that. what is the point if you sweat all over in 5 minutes?

i remember when I used to go ice skating, i would dress up in raggedy clothes, but some women dress up and put make up on (male hokey practice took place at the same time). ha

does your DH go to coed gym?

Your boyfriend actively practices relationship avoidance, and you have dug a deep hole for yourself.

He is a commitment-phobe. Don't be fooled by his talk of marrying you someday. It's all talk and nothing more. Besides, why would you want to marry him?

He doesn't care about you or your baby. No man forgets that his girfriend/wife is pregnant. His suggestion that you have a beer was intended to hurt you. He obviously doesn't want to have a child with you. He is just using you.

Your self-esteem is obviously suffering, and you need counseling soon. No-one should live entirely for another man or woman. You have to have balance in your life, and you don't have this right now.

Please get away from this man and get professional help right away. Be strong for once. Also, get a lawyer to work on the child support issue.

Don't be surprised if he just lets you walk out without much objection. However, please don't fall for it if he does try to get you to come back to him. It will only get worse from here on out.

Protect yourself and your child by leaving him for good.

Oh honey ... get yourself into a car or a taxi or a bicycle and follow that man to the 'gym'.

about that jealousy thing...

there's a certain kind of person, man or woman, who *provokes* jealousy, who just won't stop fawning on somebody else & ignoring the partner/victim until he/she provokes a jealous response.

& *then* (s)he'll draw himself up to his full height & turn his nose up & look down & declare something like "Jealousy is so selfish", or "How can you be jealous of fill-in-the-blank (my mother, my father, my children, my goldfish)?"

& thereby establishes moral superiority & makes the partner feel like dirt.

I'm not a jealous person by nature, & even I had that done to me once.

but never again.

The terrible terrible thing is that this "father" is fawning over his children in an over-the-top way, & he probably never did it before he embarked on this mission to denigrate OP, & he'll stop doing it when he's reduced her to feeling like dirt.

Poor OP.

Poor kids.

I do like the idea of following him to the 'gym'.

What were you expecting would be said ge? You have been given some excellent advice here, but my sense is you will ignore it all. The guy is a player.

I'm not a jealous person, either, and I definitely was jealous of FSD up until last summer. I have been where OP is (except for the pregnancy part). FDH doted on me a lot for the first few months we were together. Then, after about 6 months, he started not seeing me as much without her. Then it went to him actually choosing her over me. If he had 2 tickets to some sporting event (no matter which one), he would always choose her. He would even ask to borrow MY car to take her while I stayed at my place all alone because all he had was his work vehicle and wasn't allowed to use it for personal use. But when he wasn't with her, he treated me wonderfully. Then it escalated to a point where if she called and begged, he would ask me to break my plans so he could be with her. One night, I had asked him a month in advance to plan on having a romantic dinner with me. I thought he had actually arranged it to where she stayed with her mom that night. I was wrong. I had ordered $150 in fresh lobsters to cook for us. She called and wanted to come over. So he let her! Once DS had a tournament in a town a couple hours away and she didn't want to go so he stayed home with her. My DS was so hurt because he wanted her to see him play. I took 5 vacations by myself in 4 years because he refused to make arrangements for his daughter and take a vacation with me.

Anyway, I guess my point is that, even though I tried to be understanding about it, I had to fight the seed of jealousy. Just last summer, she started going and spending time with friends and doing what 12 year olds do. And I wasn't around because we had taken a break. FDH realized how lonely he was. He understands what he as doing and how it hurt me.

I know you feel alone and hormonal right now, but it will pass. Maybe you could try to engage the kids with your pregnancy. How does he treat you when the kids aren't around? If he treats you like this all the time, maybe that's your cue to bow out gracefully.

BTW, I agree that taking a shower before the gym is abnormal.

After you get away from your boyfriend, part of your recovery will be to do a self analysis of what went wrong. This is important so that you don't make the same mistakes again.

It appears that you rushed into this relationship from the very beginning. Then you moved in with him without really knowing him all that well. Despite his poor treatment of you, both of you took a chance on getting pregnant. Then you stayed with him after he disrespected you and the baby that you carry.

Admitting these mistakes will be a healthy step in breaking the grip he has on you.

You have to be honest with yourself about what happened.

Please have some self respect and don't follow him when he goes out. Why bother? At this point, it doesn't matter what he does when he goes out. He's a loser, and you need to repeat this in your mind at least 100 times until you believe it.

The next time he does go to the gym, pack your bags and leave. Write him a note and tell him that an attorney will be contacting him about child support.

Please do this so that you can leave with some dignity.

This is a woman who needs some proof. Otherwise he will just turn it around, tell her she's imagining everything, overreacting, 'going crazy', blame pregnancy hormones, whatever. He will fawn all over her and make her feel guilty and feel like it is all her fault, until she gives in, comes back, and the cycle will repeat itself again.

If she has proof, he will be less able to manipulate her.

even if he does go to gym I wonder what he goes there for...I bet you it is coed gym.

I never heard of anyone showering before gym. There are too many red flags here. I will likely get flamed, buy honey start preparing for the worst. Make certain you have a place to go, financial records (mail copies to a friend or your mom), etc.

This is what happened with my husband too. His son was 3 and his daugther was 6 when i first moved in with him. THey would also stay up till midnight on weekends cause they mom allowed it.
I just turned around and said ' well this is not your mother house and her rules do not apply here. your father and i have these rules and you will obey. There will be no tv after 9 for children. Until your are older we can put another 30 minutes on it or if there is a special movie for all of us.
My husband use to say this too....they're at their moms all the time. they're use to it. I told him. This is not your ex wife's house. This is mine and yours.. and i wll not stay up or be disturbed by her schedual. Kids have rules in school and they obey. THis is just another place for them to obey. Period.

With your situation though..i worry. Because your husband doesn't spend time with you. Way too many red flags. I know guys also get nervous with new babies coming too..but....i would sit and have a long chat with him. Ask him to be around more. Set dates and keep setting alone time together.
Plus you are pregnant...and when i was pregnant i really did become paranoid. I didn't trust a certain friend. i literally thought she was going to steal my baby in the hospital. It was freaky now that i look back on it.
I'm not saying your are paranoid. But pregnancy hormones do elevate emotions.
STill, your husband should not be saying morning sickness is in your head. He's an *SS for saying that to you. You need to sit down and speak with him because if this behaviour continues you will need to sit yourself down and really think hard whether you want a life with this man.
Now is not the time. Concentrate on your pregnancy. Give birth. Rebalance yourself first and then make the decision with a clear calm mind.

From original post: "I've never been so crazy in love, he's everything I've ever wanted in a man, perfection."

I'm sorry but a relationship where you allow a man to treat you the way he has treated you is no where near perfection. I'd suggest you really take a look at why you have allowed yourself to be "so crazy in love" with someone who won't return the favor.

Yes. I agree with Starr. It almost sounds like you are suggesting that he would be perfect if only he didn't have any kids and could spend more time with you. You probably didn't mean it to sound that way but it does. Is that how you feel? That things would be perfect for you if he didn't have children? If that's the case I can honestly without reservations say you need to move on and not for your benefit but for the childrens.

I know it's hard with your emotions all amped up and the pregnancy worries but there is more than you that will be affected by your realtionship with this man. His children and your unborn child will be affected as well.

>>>I live entirely for this man, I love him so much, I work and pay bills and try and make a nice home for us.He sees this in you and you've become a DOOR MAT. You need to ask yourself why you continue doing this when he doesn't appreciate this effort.

>>>He tells me "it's not my fault, 5 days a week they're allowed to do whatever they want whenever they want, I can't change that in two days". THat's BS. He's making excuses for the fact that he doesn't want to be a disciplinarian.

>>>I think the root of the problem mostly is that he makes NO effert to have any time with me.Again, why are you accepting this from him? So, he tosses you a crumb of affection now and then? He's stringing you along making you starve affection and you're allowing this.
>>>He finally calls me later that night from the gym and says "fine, i'll sacrifice a night with my children to be with you".This is a complete deal breaker. Get out of this situation now before you lose yourself completely. I agree with the one poster who mentioned a Personality disorder. He sounds narcissistic and you'll NEVER get anything from someone like this. They reign you in and once they have you, the mask comes off, and in time they will disgard you, unless you rid yourself of him first. It's a game to him and it's one that you will suffer immensely if you don't get out of this.

>>>>I feel like he takes me for granted He absolutely does and will continue doing so.

>>>When I came back Sunday he's like "hey, you look kinda tense, why dont you have a beer?"Self absorbed. He doesn't give any more thought priority to you as he would pulling down his zipper.

>>>"ugh, you're not gonna pull that "im pregnant" excuse on me all the time now are you?" Abusive. How much more are you going to allow him to abuse you? Get out now!

>>I am very independant,You won't be for long if you continue to allow this mental abuse. Little by little his words will chip away at your self esteem and will erode it to nothing. Mark my words. I was involved with a woman who had borderling personality disorder and it's not much different. By the time she was through with me, I was suicidal and I'm by no means mentally weak either.

Your pregnant and in big trouble here. I hate this for you because honestly, it doesn't just 'sound' like he's an abuser, he really is. Alot of it is disguised in neglect, but make no mistake, he's set this up for you to feel nothing but insecure and jealous in your relationship with him and he will of course blame you for how 'needy' you are, and not at all take responsibility for how badly he treats you. Please, please consult a therapist about this and really do consider getting your own place.

">>I am very independant,You won't be for long if you continue to allow this mental abuse. Little by little his words will chip away at your self esteem and will erode it to nothing."

Already you've lost some perspective, thinking he's wonderful & perfect even in the face of insult & cruelty.