My favorite and preferred way to get your soil revivified is to apply LOTS of either composted manure (horse, goat, etc) or straight rabbit manure, composted or not. I achieved a startling change in my front yard from pavement-feeling clayey stuff to an incredibly springy, almost turfy feel by distributing the waste from my 100+ rabbits and then adding redworms. The resulting texture brought in the rest of the native worms, who took care of integrating the top with the old soil, and now I have a yard I could grow pretty much anything in if the dog would quit trampling it. :) My roses and other established plants get frequent doses of fresh rabbit manure and worm castings (rabbit manure won't burn but you do want it away from the stem about an inch for air), and my Queen Elizabeth generally gets pruned down from its habitual 8-10 FEET of height about four times a year. :) BUNNY POWER RULES! :)

Have you had the opportunity to talk with her doctor to explain what happened before, and your fears about what might happen? That would be my first step. There is a chance the surgery could set her back, but living with the mess is not good for her either. What if she slips on a wet spot? My mother had alzheimers, so I understand what a difficult decision this is. She developed lung cancer, and we were told that treatment would very likely make her alzheimers much worse. In some ways, it was not a difficult decision to decide against treatment, given the circumstances, but again, when she first found out about the cancer, she wanted to fight it, like anyone would. That made the decision difficult. None of this exactly relates to what you are going through, other than making decisions for others that can affect their life in such a big way is difficult to say the least, and I feel for you. You might also find a support group, if you haven't already. My sister and I got lots of help from the Alzheimer's Association, and I regularly attended support group meetings. It didn't change anything, but it helped to talk about it, and learn how others cared for their loved ones. Sally

Are you a stay-at-home mom? Yes If so, a) what age was your child(ren) when you began to stay home with them? since birth. I graduated nsg school 6 days before she was born but I've never put it to use YET why do you chose to stay home with your children? I find being at home keeps me very busy & fulfilled. I've never understood SAHM who claim they are bored. I have 1 daughter, 3 dogs, a home & my husband's business I do much of the work for plus I made sure to start involving myself & my daughter in school & plenty of activities. Gosh if I never have to work I would be so happy BUT chances are that when the last of my kids is in fulltme school I'll at last work part-time. are you financially secure enough to be home and not work? Like everyone else we could always use the extra $. We don't have a retirement a/c set up, we have to buy our own very expensive health ins., we havn't been on a great vacation in several yrs, we no longer go to fancy dinners, our home could use allot more remodeling, our cars are old but in good condition & paid for & I am always comparison shopping BUT we have no debt despite every month praising when we've paid the last bills. Our daughter is in private school & already takes 4 sets of lessons at age 3 & when we have our day trips or do happen to go out we truly go all out & enjoy, plus since I have no family help at all I have been lucky enough to be able to pay for a mothers helper or sitter for those times I need to catch up on the home, errands or the business paperwork or go to my many medical appts (I was diagnosed with MS a yr ago). All in all I'm happy, but my husband is self employed & he'd like to make a switch right now & he can't b/c we don't have enough $ in the bank nor another income. I had a stay at home Mom when I grew up & feel there is nothing better. I think that while kids are young I prefer being aorund for safety & to be involved in all the firsts, then they start activities & who else is going to chaperone them everywhere & then later on I want to be around so they have support & hopefully I can prevent them from making some bad choices that they might make had they not had any parent at home during the day after school. what are the ages and gender of your kids? daughter age 3 & working on #2 Michie

Hi everyone, thank you for all of the comments. I do appreciate everything that has been written and all of the suggestions and points brought up. The thing is, my mom and dad have worked hard their whole lives and if this is something they want to do, I am in no position to tell them otherwise and wouldn't dream of doing so. My mom hates the short cabinets (not the cherry) and as this is her dream house otherwise, she is not going to budge on the idea of updating -- especially when she would prefer to stay in this home as long as possible rather than buy new. I guess I don't see it as wasteful if this is something she wants and again, I have to reiterate that when they eventually do go to sell, being a little fresher will not exactly hurt them; on the contrary around here in this particular market. As for the goofy photoshop I posted, none of those things were my suggestions or even set in stone...we were just playing around with ideas and especially wanting to look at the stacked cabinets. So not really trying to be trendy with the marble etc., just grabbed a lighter counter to use for the photo because I know my mom intends to lighten things up on the counters and backsplash. And again, the cabinets in the photos are darker looking than they are in real life so I'm afraid they are not the best representation. I have to admit I am kind of finding it amusing everyone on a decorating/remodeling site is advising against remodeling this kitchen even when the owner wants to, but I do understand your reservations and in many other cases, I would totally agree with you. Real estate wise, I've lived in areas where it didn't matter at all and I've lived in areas where it does and unfortunately (or fortunately if you actually enjoy the process), the latter is the soup of the day around here. I'm in the midst of a master bath remodel right now myself and it's downright addictive so I get why my mom is into the idea, though. Anyway, again, thank you very much! I will answer some comments below: Nosoccermom - "I do like your proposed changes. The only thing that I personally would prefer is a more streamlined (non-wood) hood, but it sounds like your mom likes the one you propose. I'd also put a built-in microwave in that empty fridge spot and perhaps a coffee station rather than the solid wood cabinets/drawers there, maybe even some open shelves for cookbooks." I actually would prefer it if she went with a metal range hood myself and she is actually thinking about going that way. Everything is still very much up in the air...she had just always thought she would like a wood mantle hood but seeing as she wants to mix the traditional with a touch of modern, some more sparkle would be a great idea. As for the microwave, it's actually in a drawer on the island but that spot by the fridge, she's been thinking about tall glass cabinets or open shelves there and some small drawers underneath which are actually not drawers but a flip up area for coffee etc. Hard to describe and my picture wasn't at all what she had in mind. Thank you for your suggestions! Fishymom and Javivwa, the two tone white and cherry is a non-starter not only because of my dad, but my mom is not a fan. I've seen some pretty versions of it though so I know what you're talking about and that's definitely a good option. I do think she was considering a creamy white island possibly but again, just in the talking stage. Thanks again! Sophie, in this particular area, unfortunately this kitchen is considered outdated...especially the short cabinets. Even the new cheap houses here have tall cabs so they're pretty much expected in the price range this home would be at. My mom is not into fads. In fact, she generally goes the opposite direction, so she's not really wanting to remodel to keep up with the latest trend. Again, it's both for her enjoyment while she lives in the home and when she does sell, the updates will not hurt. They never do unless they've gone horribly wrong, generally speaking. :-) Thank you for the suggestion! Kimberly, my mom is about the least wasteful person on the planet and she has done more for people in her lifetime than I will ever be able to do, so if she wants to remodel her kitchen, I don't think she's being wasteful; I think she's finally doing something for herself which I wholeheartedly applaud. She's certainly not doing it to follow a trend, she's doing it because she wants to and I don't see an issue with that. I'm sorry that you do, though. Thank you anyway. Elizard, yes, definitely all new hardware and lights etc. Jewelry is always important to a girl:-) And quartzite has actually been talked about so definitely an option, thank you! Jillius, thank you for the comments! Not sure if you saw up above but the cabinets are not that dark in real life. I understand what you mean about looming though and with the 10 ft ceilings and lighted glass as well as the cabinets that aren't that dark, it won't be quite as dismal as it might appear. I love the idea of mixing up a new material for the hood and I am definitely hoping she trends that way in the end. I really think that would help on a lot of different counts. As for the backsplash, that was just a mock up to use something lighter so definitely not the end choice or anything. I think you bring up a good point with that, however i know my mom is pretty set on keeping it all fairly light so we'll just have to see what kind of counter material she settles on and go from there I suppose. Anyway, thanks again everyone! This is the best place and I really do appreciate the time you've all taken.