Hello, I'm a new poster here. This seems like a very close-knit community and I hope I'm not intruding. I just couldn't seem to find anywhere else that fit my situation. I'll try to keep this short but that might be difficult...

I've been with my BF for 1.5 years. He's been divorced for almost 2 years, but they were separated for about almost a year before that. He has two kids; they are 7 and 3, and I adore them.

BF has poor eyesight and as a consequence, cannot drive. That's a large part of the reason, I think, that BM changed her tune about BF seeing his kids w/o supervision. Until he decided to move in with me (two ours away, but she was assured that I did not mind driving so that he could see his children), he was getting them e/o weekend at his place. At the time, she had moved an hour away from him, with her parents. She's there still.

Anyway, part of the problem seems to me to be that she's too lazy to drive, because initially they had agreed to meet eachother half-way and that he would still get the kids e/o weekend. The other reason seems to be resentment, possibly jealousy, and it's grown into a sort of deep-seated hatred.

She doesn't let them come here - she claims she's still waiting to make sure our situation is "safe" for them - and she's got no reason to assume it wouldn't be. It doesn't make sense because she's expressed that she really appreciates how well I treat the kids, and that she likes me. He's been living here almost a year now, and she's never been here - what is she waiting for? Well, nothing. It's just an excuse.

Background is necessary - legally BF only has rights to supervised visitation. When she left him, she claimed that BF had been physically abusing their son, an infant at the time. Of course, this is not an uncommon situation, unfortunately. DHS did interview him, and found no reason to believe that. There were certain stipulations that BF had in his divorce decree in order to not have supervised visitation only - and those were a parenting class, an anger mgmt class (since he's an evil child-beater *rolls eyes*) and of course, child support and keeping them on his health insurance. So far he has met all the requirements and is waiting for the materials in the mail to complete the parenting class. He is doing this online and via mail, because he works full-time, and as mentioned, getting places is a hassle because he can't drive.

The biggest problem he's facing, as a result of not having any custody, is that he's having trouble getting to see his kids. He will call a couple of days in advance (before weekends) to see if we can come up for a visit. Normally, we're there every few weeks for the day and then we go home. But ongoing, off-and-on, during this entire year since he's moved, is the game she plays, claiming that he never calls or visits his kids. But I'm standing there when he calls, most times, and when he calls from work he always makes a note of it. I KNOW he calls. I KNOW he tries to see his kids. But we can't just drive for 2 hours and HOPE that they're home, and she knows it. Meanwhile, she is Mother of the Year, and a martyr, and the world is such a evil place. But only because BF is in it.

It's so hard for him. As much as it hurts me, I KNOW that it must be killing him. Yesterday, he was so distraught at not being able to just go and see his kids that we almost got into a huge argument (till I realized why he was so moody) and he got sick to his stomach and threw up (which always happens when he's upset over his kids).

He has no control over this, and I'm helpless in all of this, myself. He is a WONDERFUL father; I got to see that before she stopped letting him have them on weekends (and why would she do that if she really thought he was abusive, in the first place?).

And yes, in the past week and a half, I admit to reading all about it on the internet. BF is not an "internet person", but BM certainly is. And I was not prepared for the shock. She is saying the most awful things, and they aren't true, and what's worse, she been posting in public places for YEARS, and BF's name, and those of the kids, and all the most intimate details of their lives (true and fictitious) are posted there for all to see (I found them, after all). There are last names, news articles regarding the daughter being molested (!!!) - all of it! She slanders BF constantly, and posts photos of the kids all over the place. I even found a journal post that says exactly how the infant son got the black eye - in other words, NOT FROM HIS DAD HITTING HIM!!! She writes all about witnessing it happen (he bonked his head on the toys on his walker-thingy). It is dated for about 10 days before she left him and took the kids with her. My jaw dropped to the floor. There are quite a few other shocking revelations, but that would be a very, very long post.

I know that many people would say that is it only detrimental and a waste of time to check out what exes are doing on the internet, but I will have to disagree in cases involving children where there is alienation of one of the parents.

We don't know what to do. I'm the woman, and the woman is who normally nurtures the relationships within a family. I can't help myself. The situation is tearing me apart, too. I haven't stayed up this late in... forever. I had to find someone to talk to.

Please, ask questions, and I will fill in the gaps. We need advice, badly.

Thanks for reading - I'm SORRY it's so long!