Heah, that better than what I have. X takes DD for about one weekend every 6 months. If I dont like it, I can take him court. we have joint custody. he knows I cant bear to sue him to make him see his daughter.

well exactly your time or your money ... you get the money we get the time... time is more important than money.

that is completely ludacris... I would have laughed ... that is the only thing I could have done.... it is completely obscene

Cawfe, Even if she's unemployed shouldn't something be coming out of her unemployment to DH?
Isn't the DOR all over her?

They are but because she got a severance package no unemployment yet. They handed her the severance package (check) so no money came out of that either. She deposited it into the BF's account. Her account is locked anything deposited over $500 DOR takes other than a paycheck.

Atleast thats what she tells me... I don't know if it comes out of unemployment or if she has to pay it ... if she has to pay it won't get paid. Took a year and half to get DOR to track her down and recoup some of the money. She was supposed to pay on her own but never did. Finally went back in October to get it directly from her paycheck they didn't take anything from her until January 15.

We did get her tax return ... 2 weeks ago.

When she asked to be paid the $35 a week ... I wanted to say ... "why do we have to pay you to be their mommy!" Just like she said to the kids over and over again on the CS issue... "Why do I have to pay him to be your daddy!"

I bite my tongue and do not say alot to her. She has been doing the calendar thing as to what days and times she will take them ... "I don't want them to get used to being with me ... when I go back to work they will resent me.. they will resent you more if you don't spend time with them while you have the time. But I don't have any money... You don't need money to be a good parent."

She's a real piece of work. I feel for you.
The kids are lucky to have you and their Dad, at least they see someone who cares enough to be there for them and care for them.

No. I can't imagine this weirdo even exists! What a disgrace she is to women and mothers everywhere!

BTW, even if you didn't cook or know what the kids wanted, wouldn't any normal person be too embarrassed to admit that? Sheesh!

You're right on, though. The time is priceless. Let her keep her stupid money, hiding it from the courts and putting in the bf's account is just the lowest...

Dana

She likes to play the "poor me card" .... I have taught the 11 yr. old how to cook basics foods so he can make something to eat when they go to her house.

Vista she's not normal (smiles) I think we established that a long time ago. The only "real meal" she has ever made them was tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches. How sad is that. Has never even made spaghetti.

Hubby and I talked about this last night .... Its better to buy her food for the week and give her the rest in cash. Rather than all of it in cash. So I have to call her today and tell her I'll be going to the market and then giving her what is left over. Its not the point of the money its that she is still making excuses not to spend any time with her children.

Could someone please explain to me why step mother's are going to battle with her husband's ex, instead of the husband doing it. I think a judge would tell you to stay out of it. I was a step mom for 33 years and I never had a conversation with the ex regarding my step kids, their Dad took care of that.

jonesy: I am in the same situation as you. My DH and I have been married 3 years and I seriously have never even spoken to his ex wife. No hi, no nothing. She pretends I don't exist and I am fine with that. As for others on this board, they say they deal with the ex because they get along better with them then their husbands. That is the case with my best friend and her DH's ex wife as well. So I guess it works for some people.

I also think that Cawfe has to deal w/ the ex because Cawfe is in most respects, the mother. Cawfe's husband works, Cawfe is a homemaker for her steps and their dad. The BM here heavily relies on Cawfe, so I think they have to deal w/ one another, esp. since the BM doesn't know what HER kids like to eat and Cawfe does! In most cases, it's the "mother" who knows all the ins and outs of the children, so the father isn't always the one to ask about food preferences and so on.

Dana

I wish more than anything that I did not to have to speak to her. But if I do not she uses the kids as messengers .... or she will call hubby at work 10 times a day. Because she is not consistent in anything she does. I would get the message 3rd or 4th hand that she was unable to get them.... for instance the bus driver would call and say ... the mom isn't here what do you want me to do with the kids I would have to go meet the bus at a different stop. They take a different bus home when mom picks them up on thursdays. She tells the kids she will pick them up at 3 at 2:30 she is calling hubby at work to tell him she can't make it. So then he has to call me and I have to rearrange my schedule to get the kids... I know big schedule after all I am a SAHSM. So she knows I am available for her to be inconsistent. She arranges drop off and pick up times when hubby is at work so yes they are left in my care. I have said over and over the times need to be adjusted to not include me ... she doesn't want to hear it ... her "whatever" is more immportant than being consistent with her children.

She picks them up on sundays and thursdays ... and figures out ways to get out of those days .. I don't have any money, I don't have any food, I don't have any gas, pick an excuse as to why you can't do something and I bet she has used it.

Its just easier for me to speak with her directly ... the conversations are short and not sweet. She tries to make excuses to me as to why she can't be with her children and I call her on it. When she does have a "legitimate" excuse to not be with them I tell her immediately well then you can pick them up later, or tomorrow or another time instantly. Hubby would just let it go and not ask her to pick a different time. He would wait for her to call back and change the schedule again. I am quicker on my feet than hubby he is usually under a generator when she calls so he cannot concentrate on what she is saying. Miscommunication between parties has almost stopped. And I do not make any instant decisions I tell her I have to check with hubby first and then get back to her.

To me their BM is a glorified babysitter. We have to pay her to be with her children ... what do you call someone you have to pay to be with children? the babysitter.

Well I gave this some thought..... why I deal with BM ... its easier to stop the knife from stabbing you in the back when you are looking her in the face.

I wish the bm would communicate with me ... instead of calling hubby at work to call me to tell me she is on her way... it's a little ridiculous.
Plus hubby has probably the worst memory in the world (everyone has their little quirks) so giving him a message to take care of something or find something out is a very difficult process...

We dont have to like each other ... we just need to communicate