I see the problem you were solving, iluvcats, but I think I would do something a little different. I would bring along a peanut butter sandwich and some little carrots (or whatever the child likes to eat) and keep it in the car or my purse or the diaper bag, so if the child didn't like the party food, s/he wouldn't go hungry. If you anticipate more kids, bring a little more. That would solve the problem without insulting your hosts or interfering with their plans. A platter of cookies is a little hard to pass off as a meal so your child won't go hungry; it looks like you are trying to supplement or improve upon the menu. I hope you do care if your MIL was insulted or put out; wouldn't you want her to care about your feelings if you were the host? I would feel very bad if my DIL, or any other guest, came into the kitchen and ridiculed my menu to the servers. Sometimes you need to be very careful, whatever your intentions, in bringing food when told not to. In addition to the questions of consideration we've been discussing, what if you innocently brought something containing an ingredient to which someone was seriously allergic? There are other issues, too. We keep a kosher home, and one time some guests brought some crab dip. (Crab is absolutely not kosher, and if it got on our dishes or silverware, they would be rendered unkosher, too -- it is a real hassle). But I knew she (my colleague's wife) had worked hard on it and meant it for a real treat. What to do? Fortunately, we were all out on the patio, and we were using paper plates -- it was a very casual gathering. My husband and I thanked her and put the plate she'd brought out on the table. Then we discreetly as possible (I mean, we weren't invisible, but we didn't say what we were doing or why) removed EVERYTHING that wasn't disposable and replaced it with disposables. And we were VERY careful that that dip never came indoors. It was all we could think of without embarrassing our guests. If someone brought a big platter of cookies to my home, I would have to ask whether they had animal shortening or, if I were serving meat, any dairy ingredients (either of which would be a nightmare in terms of kashrut) before putting them out. Then the poor guest would feel bad if there were a problem. So I guess when people say "please don't bring anything" -- DON'T -- at least not food (or wine or flowers), unless you KNOW it will be appreciated. Bring a little gift instead or send a donation to charity or something. The last few dinner guests I had brought, respectively, a box of notecards, some pretty soaps, some homemade cookies (for later, she said, but I served some anyway), and some bakery cookies (the guests asked if she could bring those -- this was just a hey-come-over-for-dinner night), and nothing. All were fine with me! I liked the stationery best.

My sister does her Christmas cookie baking starting in November and stores them in my extra freezer. Most cookies freeze well. I make mini walnut tarts that freeze and are a real crowd pleaser. You could also consider making a Vacherin which is very impressive and freezable. Pies and unfrosted sheet cakes freeze well, also. Try Googling on 'frozen desserts' or 'make ahead desserts' and see what comes up. A platter of fresh fruit and cheese is good for people on diets. Or cut up fresh fruit with a dip of 1/2 marshmallow Fluff and 1/2 cream cheese mixed together. Sounds like fun!

I actually think it is very regional. I live in NY and attended many very elaborate weddings where I had to shell out a $300 gift ($600 for close family) for a gift. I think the idea is that you have to cover your plate and then some. My DH's friend is a wedding photographer and he charges a minimum of $12K for a wedding and he is booked solid. Around here, giving money is a norm. The registry is for the bridal shower and I have seen many registeries that include plasma's and $400 place settings. I have several girls at my job getting married and they are spending between $25-$40K. It's outrageous if you ask me and quite stressful because you want to attend these events but they become very unaffordable! In addition, for the amount of money you spend on a wedding, you can put a down payment on a house! When I got married 7 years ago, my parents offered m $20K to pay for the wedding. We looked at several places that cost $150/person and it just didn't feel right sending all that money on one day. We opted to have our wedding a restaurant instead of a reception hall and invited 75 people (much to the chagrin of my parents who wanted me to invite 200 people). My bouquet and cake were from Costco. I had one maid of honor and advertised at a local college to get cheap photographer/videographer. My dress was off the rack of a bridal store and I drove myself to the church. I ended up spending about $7K and the other 13K was part of the down payment for our home. I will admit that my friends and family were generous despite the simple nature of our wedding which I was extremely grateful for.

Italian Beef Sandwiches. Very juicy, (read sloppy!) but so easy and delish. It's cheap, too, if you buy chuck roasts on sale. You braise the beef with garlic and onions, bay leaves, salt and pepper for several hours until the meat shreds, serve it hot with all its juices on Italian rolls or other hearty rolls. I'll be more precise with the recipe if you'd like, but that's about it. I guarantee a hit!