Okay, well, with some details changed just in case ... The one I am still steamed about is that brunch for 70 people I just gave. To make a LONG story a little shorter, the whole point had been to solve a difficult problem for the family having a big event: the parents have recently divorced, and the problem was that the extended families would be holding separate "auxilliary" events during the weekend, and where would the guests of honor go? I offered to give the Sunday brunch for all the out of towners, on the "neutral territory" of our home, and that way they could all come. That was over a year ago. Less than three weeks before the event, I asked the divorced dad about how many kids/adults to expect (I already knew the total of 70). He began, "Well, my kids won't be there. They will be with [ex-wife's] family." ???? "But," I said, "I thought the whole point of our giving the party was so that everyone could be together." "I know, but [ex-wife] and her family said no." (Good thing thing this was on the phone and he couldn't see my astonished face.) Well, I thought, at least it won't be so many people. But he confirmed -- 70. (I.e., he had known all along, before it was too late to make other plans, that it would just be his family and friends. He also clearly was not surprised at my surprise. He knew we were still operating under the original assumption.) At the end of the call, I asked, "Remind me again -- why are we doing this at our house?" "Well, your house is a lot nicer." !!!!!!! The brunch was not hard, not too expensive (although even inexpensive for 70 people adds up to a substantial amount) and it was lots of fun. My kidz and husband and I enjoyed doing it as a family project. The guests were lovely and gracious -- I got nice notes from several. But I feel very much that he took advantage of us. We offered to do this to help them out of a sticky situation, not to take over the work and expense of his entertaining for him. It's as if we'd offered to give a couple a wedding, and then 3 weeks before one of them said, "We eloped, so you'll give me a birthday party instead." I think he had the responsibility to tell us as soon as he knew that the "everybody" brunch idea wouldn't work. I don't by any means think that hospitality and generosity should be equally reciprocal. But you can't just ALWAYS be on the receiving end. No matter how different circumstances are, you can always do SOMETHING nice for someone else. We have done a LOT of nice things for this guy and his family, and he has NEVER reciprocated in any way. This took the cake -- I'm done. Believe it or not, I really do like him. But he has got to learn not to be such a 100% taker! (And he isn't going to learn it from ME.) He didn't even invite us to all the other events of the weekend. By the way, the ex-wife, who we also like a lot, was TERRIFIC about everything -- she invited us to everything she did, she and the children (although not their out of town guests) and she did make the effort to come to our brunch and were delightful, and she even took me shopping at Sam's Club for the food. I think she felt really bad; she hadn't known this was going on. The worst actual guest I've ever had was my friend's wife. They and their (adorable) kidz were here for a few days, and I didn't think I'd survive. She is SO MEAN!!!!! Especially to my pal. We were all on edge all the time. The last evening, we had spent the day at the State Fair. It wasn't easy to please her there, either, but it was fine. As we drove home, I was really, really tired -- so exhausted I just couldn't wait to collapse. What about dinner? I said I'd figured that we were all tired, so we'd just order a pizza or go out somewhere in the neighborhood for something easy and light. "No," she said, "I think we should stay home and make some chicken breasts for the adults and some buttered pasta with fresh broccoli for the kids." I screamed internally -- hadn't I just said I was too tired to shop and cook, let alone two menus? -- but all I said was sorry, that we couldn't have both butter and chicken at the same meal anyway (not kosher), and wouldn't pizza or something be okay? No. Sigh. All right. Whatever. We got home and I found some frozen mixed vegetables, including some broccoli, in the freezer, and some fresh carrots. Would either of those be okay? "No, I had really pictured fresh broccoli." I couldn't believe her gall, and my friend was so mortified, but we all knew better than to argue with her. Anyway, at that point, tired as I was, I actually PREFERRED getting in the car to go get the %^$#!! fresh broccoli, just to get AWAY from her. I was so stressed that the grocer took one look at me and asked me if I was okay. He felt so sorry for me he gave me a can of salmon! Thanks for listening!

jlt37869: The rod I ordered is in ORB; but looks black. I wanted it to coordinate with the black on the task lamps. Glad to hear you like them as I am trying to give the vintage pieces an edginess too it so it doesn't look old-fashioned and frumpy for DS when he is there. fripper/ghostlyvision: Sorry I didn't explain better; RAF=Howard's Restore-A-Finish which I used along with their companion product, Howard's Feed 'n Wax to seal in the restored finish. It's a product that can be used on older furniture where the finish is still intact, but it has some surface scratches, water rings and years of dirt and dust. It cleans and perserves the existing finish and can often be done instead of stripping and refinishing furniture. work_in_progress08: DS was fine with his existing room; though for most part he's more preoccupied these days looking forward to going to college. He did say that the bed is much more comfortable and I think he is happy that I have found a way to display his pottery (or at least the best pieces). There are some of his early attempts from 1st semester that I have boxed up and plan to talk to DS about tossing it or donating it. They seem to have unlimited access to clay and some pieces are BIG! I'm not sure yet what to do about the desk/hutch or when to phase it out; hence why I had been considering if I should gel stain it darker. My younger DD has a kneehole desk and it's great for storage so a similar one should work just fine for summer and laptop use, etc. At some point, I just would box up the trophies, but some of them he won recently up to a few weeks ago; so the time is not yet. Long term though, I feel the artwork has more meaning to have out as it shows his creativity. dlm2000: Thanks for the support for this project. Small spaces are often a challenge to decorate as I've experienced with all my three kid's rooms; but they can still be made to look nice and comfortable. I suppose I should just sell the torchiere on CL at some point as it's more a mission style which I don't have in my house. I have a whole garage full of stuff now I need to sell on CL which I should do next. The headboard is rather low-profile which I knew when I bought it and was one of the things that attracted me to it for when it goes below the window. I even bought a low profile boxspring for this bed, but it still sits up high as the slats start a few inches higher. Bonus is, more room for underbed storage. Which I forgot to add, the more boring part of the room make over is that I added two under bed storage boxes to store both the guest bedding plus his old twin bedding which goes on the aerobed for when he gets displaced from his room. My brother and mom may be visiting this weekend for DS's 18th birthday so I'm anxious to hear what my brother thinks of the new bed as I typically have him sleep in this room and at 6'2" I don't think he found the old twin too comfy.

Robo - I agree the room seems very big to me. One wall is also floor to ceiling glass or red rock, so it limits how much can be done with the room anyway. Do you think 36" will be a better width? Or even wider? The wider it gets, the narrower the closet and counter get, but I think you are right. That bothered me too. Lori, yes arcadia is another word for patio door. I hope I am not making that up? I thought that was the word my grandparents used, who lived in AZ. but were from MN. I think you are right about the powder coated glass. Well, never mind on the white glass. The landscape architect seemed horrified when I suggested moving the plants. I think I will just do a nice long 2 ft. window up high or a large powder coated window. I guess it will depend on the price. Annie, those are really good points. I agree the ma bedroom is in a wierd location. I think the that side of the house was the parents' wing and the other side was the kids wing. There was a sliding door, "A", that separated it (gone when I bought the house). The ma door was originally off the dining room where "B" is (moved before I came along). Ignore the kitchen because the butler's pantry/scullery is proposed. Given that there is another large living room area, do you think that makes the ma br door location any better? I dont know how I could do a vestibule in the ma br. I have thought about combining two back bedrooms to make one ma bedroom, but I dont think there is enough space. Then I thought of building a master addition off the casual room (C). I have three sets of plans from three different architects for this. The addition would have views of the mtn out one side and the city out the other side, be in front of the pool and hot tub, and should be quieter than the current ma br. If I did the addition, then I would do a quick cheap fix for the current ma bath and put the money towards the addition instead. But I just cant validate it. The house is 3900 sq. ft as is and I just dont need the extra square footage.

More random ranting: LOL Robo about the WASP weddings. There's a bit of WASP vs ethnic and also introvert vs extrovert going in my relationship with SO. I am however, half WASP, really waspy WASP, (as in Anglo Saxon protestant, not Teutonic protestant) so I am used to some of the restraint, to say the least . . . :) I also found out that the color for the wedding is not "red" per se, rather it is crimson, so the shirt/tie combo I liked will have to go back regardless. On the plus side, with a light grey shirt, the suit and shirt will also pass for our wedding, so that will save us some money from having to buy two shirts. I only suggested the red shirt combo because it was on super sale. Here's a photo so you can see what I was envisioning with SO's dark coloring. Surprisingly, SO liked the flouncy floral dresses, particularly the one with the grey background. He thought they would be flattering for my figure. He opined, not without merit, that an a-line dress might be too form-fitting and emphasize my less-than-perfectly-proportional hips. Possibly not, but only trying on will tell. I think I will order all three dresses.