Decision fatigue is a real phenomenon. Take the pressure off yourself and relax. As Beekeeperswife said, one of the easiest ways to get inspiration is to find one special thing you really love like a rug or a painting and use that as the basis for your color story. I like to keep the big upholstered pieces fairly neutral because I love to change out pillows, rugs and accessories to keep my decor interesting to me.

Backsplash tile would be another item that I would want to keep fairly neutral. Color and pattern can be added with window treatments, accessories and table linens.

Darling...!

Every one of us knows exactly how you feel. New marriage, new house, new life, no clue what to do.

Perfectly normal.

So here's Sister Heloise Calmyoudown's advice for people just like you. Talk about long....!

Go to the office supply store. Buy a nice fat 3-ring binder, a sheaf of paper (I like 4-to-the-inch grid paper, because you can lay things out to scale on them if you want to), two sets of erasable tab dividers, two packets of 3" square post-it notes in two different colors, and a glue stick.

Go to the bookstore with the biggest magazine department, get a cup of coffee, and start looking through the "shelter books" - that is, the house mags.

Take your time. Think as you look. Turn off the tape in your head that says, "What if I get it wrong?"

Which ones seem to draw you in, and reflect places you can see yourself living in? Don't judge them - just look and imagine.

Buy the three or four that you like best. Even if they aren't alike.

Go home. Hand one to your husband, along with one of the colors of post-its, and take one yourself. Settle in and look through them, and stick a post it on everything you really love. Write a few words on the note if you want to.

Trade magazines. Do it again. Don't worry about liking the same things. Just keep going.

Once you've gone through them, go through them together, and look for similarities and differences in what you like. Try to get the number of times you say "What??? You can't like THAT!!!" down to nearly none.
(This is also very good training for a long, happy marriage - a chance to differ a bit, be gentle about it, and put aside all the natural competitiveness that shows up while you try to make you and me into us...)

After a couple of runs through, you will begin to see some possibilities for inspiration rooms or things. Tear them out and put them in your book. You can sort by room, and add tabs for things like "light fixtures" or "furniture" or "color schemes."

Keep building your book by looking at things on line, but I strongly recommend printing out the best of them and putting them in the book, because this will become a very personal volume into which you can write notes and stick fabric samples and paint chips.

It is much better than working strictly online, although those things are very useful to help as you go, because your book won't expose you to an endless stream of advertising for things you don't want or need.

Then as you get started, remember three things.
First, the floor and the ceiling are the largest surfaces in the room, and have a lot to do with how it looks and feels. Make sure your floors and/or carpets are sparkling clean, and think carefully when you think about rugs.
Second, color can go a long way to furnish bare spaces. Rich, lovely color, and a nice view of the colors in rooms beyond, will make your house feel ready to be lived in, and help you feel at home with just a few things as you build your collection.
Third, and this is a very personal opinion of mine, stay away from the middle. What I mean by that is, save up for one or two really good things, and then choose great, interesting cheaper things (import stores, yard sales, Craigslist, consignment stores) for the other bits you need. In my experience, the middle price ranges (represented by many furniture stores, unfortunately) are where you get the least for your money.

The better you do your homework and begin to understand how you want your house to look and feel, the easier this will be.

It is a long process, furnishing a first home, and the marketing machine is stacked against you! Be patient. Be loving. And trust yourself. So you make a mistake or two. That's how you learn.

And here's another secret. The opinions of anybody who judges your choices based on anything but affection for you do not matter one whit.

as a seasoned, multi homeowner (with funds to spend) I struggle with this ALL THE TIME! It's hard... and it's a process, you just have to learn to enjoy, other-wise - you'll make costly mistakes. I also have make a folder of my favorite rooms, and try and use it as inspiration. Good luck, and post here - as some very helpful suggestions will assist you in your decisions!

As always Bronwynsmom has given excellent advice. I'm probably one of the oldest posters on this forum, have been decorating my homes for over 55 years, and still sometimes suffer the angst of indecision. IMO this is fueled by the concerns that others will criticize my decisions or that I will make costly mistakes. I'm getting much better at realizing the first is a totally invalid concern because (to quote Dr. Seuss) "Those Who Mind Don't Matter and Those Who Matter Don't Mind". We all need to have the courage to do what we like in our own homes. As to making costly mistakes it's something that will occasionally happen because styles change and our likes and dislikes change also. Only a few people will always make home decor decisions they can live with over very long periods of time and I know I'm not one of them. I've come to realize I cannot be right all the time and either live with things I no longer love or, better still, re-home them as soon as possible. I have had 2 large pieces of furniture for over 40 years, a few large case goods pieces for 30-some, and a few smaller decorative items (mostly family heirlooms and gifts), but most things have been replaced over the years. Doesn't mean I've made a lot of mistakes but I've tired of some things and other things have just worn out. So when making decisions it's not necessarily a life-time commitment.

Bronwynsmom's advice to look at lots of pictures to find what one really likes is excellent advice. I did that with magazines for years and filled a book but also filled a box with pictures. When I looked at them decades later I realized I still like the same things and have incorporated many in my house. I now try not to buy too many magazines but save pics found online which gives me ideas on how to arrange things and what new items I may want to find in the marketplace.

Wow, I can always rely on you all for such reassuring sound advice.

I truly love the collected/eclectic look, its just so much easier said than done. Aside from the budget restraints, a big part of my struggle is that I work 6 days a week.. leaving me very little to no time to search all the consignment/antique shops. I see lots of looks that I like in magazines, I just can't replicate any of them with my untrained eye and feel like my space will never live up to my own expectations.

I really agree with the comment about the "middle". The few times I have gone out searching for something it has been to these bigger furniture retailers and I think thats part of the reason why I'm at a standstill. Nothing has caught my eye except for this grossly overpriced RH striped rug, which I can't seem to find anywhere else despite the many many rug shops both online and brick/mortar.

The fact the I'm so afraid of making the wrong decison combined with the fact that I always think there will be something better makes me decide nothing at all. And I've lived this way for a while now. I wonder how much longer till I crack and buy something I'm unhappy with.

Do you like the Rh rug that much? Get it if you can and don't worry that it's over priced. I try not to let price effect what I buy unless I can't afford it! That goes for not being snobby about something that's really cheap too.
The idea that "I can always find it cheaper if I look around" is sometimes true but not always and for some people the hassle and time aren't worth it.

Since you seem paralyzed by indecision, finding one thing you like is a big start and a rug is a good decorating foundation to build on.

Take a breath, take some time and just think about your space as you live in it. We just did a whole house reno and when we moved back in I was so tired of making decisions. We lived in the house for 18 months before I did anything about curtains, area rugs, or accessories for the house. The house was painted in neutral colours and I finally decided that I didn't like a couple of colours and had the walls repainted. But, that happened living in the house and getting a feel for what I wanted.

bronwynsmom has some good ideas and eventually that is what I did. But before doing that I bought a small book with LOTS of pictures on Colour, then I bought a magazine that had little lessons on how high to hang pictures, what size of coffee table, what size of area rug, and although those rules aren't written in stone they gave me a platform from which to leap. Home and Gardens (?) and other magazines often produce a special interest magazine a couple of times a year that might focus on one aspect of decorating - look for those. Good luck with it all- but for now give yourself some time.

My dear, you are capable of choosing something instead of waiting for something better to come along.

You got married.

"My dear, you are capable of choosing something instead of waiting for something better to come along.

You got married."

:::spews water:::
LOL!

The fact the I'm so afraid of making the wrong decison combined with the fact that I always think there will be something better makes me decide nothing at all. And I've lived this way for a while now. I wonder how much longer till I crack and buy something I'm unhappy with.

There may always be something better. Don't look for perfection, look for something that will make you happy. Sometimes "good enough" is, well, good enough.

And... to turn the glass from half-empty to half-full - maybe you will crack and buy something you *do* like and *are* happy with.

If you love the RH rug and it is out of your price range, post a pic of it here and let the shopping wizards find you something nearly identical for less money.

Good luck. I know how hard it can be, but... take a step, move forward. Indecision is it's own decision. And, when and if you do buy something you don't like, then you won't have to worry about that happening anymore! It will have happened and it won't have been the end of the world. Promise.

I almost spit out my lunch at that comment! thank you for the laugh bronwynsmom.

Here is the sofa I have.. notice the low back. I also have low celings, 8ft. Do you think I should also be looking for chairs with a low back?

Here are some sofas similar to yours with both high back and lower back chairs. Not helping your indecision, but maybe you prefer one look over the other.

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[Modern Living Room design[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/modern-living-room-ideas-phbr1-bp~t_718~s_2105) by Los Angeles General Contractor Globus Builder

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[Eclectic Living Room design[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/eclectic-living-room-ideas-phbr1-bp~t_718~s_2104) by Atlanta Interior Designer Niki Papadopoulos

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[Contemporary Living Room design[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/contemporary-living-room-ideas-phbr1-bp~t_718~s_2103) by Atlanta General Contractor Satori Homes & Renovations

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[Eclectic Living Room design[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/eclectic-living-room-ideas-phbr1-bp~t_718~s_2104) by London Architect Emily Chalmers : Caravan

Hope it helps and doesn't make it more confusing.

To break your indecision habit, do SOMETHING. As someone else said, if you love the rug, buy it and start from there.

Some days it might have to be smaller than that. Some days it may start with make the fireplace mantle look pretty. Or accessorize the guest bath. Anything to rock you off center and get you moving. You may not live with the results when you finally get your decorating mojo revving, but the idea is to get you revving.

Trust yourself and your instincts. Keep reading here to refine and define your style, but trust yourself. That couch is gorgeous. If you chose that (and a dandy fella for a husband) you can make decisions! Good ones!

As usual, such great advice here! Like everyone else, it also took me a while to realize my style and I was just like you waaaaay back when.

One of things that helped me focus was determining whether I preferred high contrast, more "dramatic" spaces or low contrast, more "serene" spaces.

Once I realized I was drawn to low contrast, airy interiors that really helped me hone in on the materials that would help me achieve that look. There a still a lot of decisions but it is a shortcut that helps me get closer to a contender a bit faster. :)

And make sure to take lot of pictures, I love looking back through the years of houses and remembering the quirks of each!

This was such a great thread- your post was so heartfelt and you articulated beautifully what many of us still feel after house number three and many years of marriage. Please post that rug- I know the great people on this site will help find something similar or maybe it I'll show up at the RH outlet.

Beekeeperswife and beeps amd bronwynsmom amd BLfenton- you people always renew my faith in good sense and humanity.

Some sellers will let you take home a piece "on approval" and home decor stores have liberal return policies. You might be able to try out a piece without having to commit to it if you're not certain. bronwynsmom and others gave good advice. Take your time, buy what you love, know that your tastes will change over time, and most of all, don't worry about what your friends, family, or neighbors will think about your decorating choices. This gets easier to do as you gain experience and get older. I used to worry what my snootier friends might think, now I'm more like the Honey Badger.

You have all been so helpful. I really hope that someday I can post finished pictures of my home. The few photos I've seen of some of your homes look so well though out and put together.

Olychick, those pictures really helped me see not only that a taller chair will work, but also helped me see how radically different colors and patterns can coexist. If only I had the vision and confidence to buy such eclectic pieces...

Here is the link for the RH rug, I like the cream version. I think it's simplicity is what calls out to me.I'm usually drawn to airy rooms.
At the same time I like print-heavy rugs and saturated colors such as the photo in the second link. (sorry for not posting in the thread, I can't figure out how to save photos from houzz on my new mac).

I can post a few pictures of my kitchen/living room area if need be, but right now I just have a slate fireplace and that brown chesterfield (credit goes to my H for that one.. his one furniture demand). Floors are a dark wood look tile. White ikea cabinets. Custom aluminum hood. We are planning on building floor to ceiling white built-ins flanking the fireplace.

http://www.restorationhardware.com/catalog/product/product.jsp?productId=prod1860812&cm_ps=modal_add_to_cart--none--other_items_you_may_like&categoryId=cat1760138

https://www.houzz.com/photos/vanessa-de-vargas-living-room-los-angeles-phvw-vp~31813

"The fact the I'm so afraid of making the wrong decison combined with the fact that I always think there will be something better makes me decide nothing at all. And I've lived this way for a while now. I wonder how much longer till I crack and buy something I'm unhappy with."

The decor of my home today is nothing even remotely like the decor of my first home. At the beginning, I had budget limitations and I bought the best I could afford and liked at the time. As I've grown up, had more experiences, traveled more etc etc, what I like and don't like has evolved.

Did I make mistakes? Nope. Today would I have bought the same pieces? Some yes but definitely the majority would be a resounding no. Ease up on yourself. I'd suggest starting with either a rug or sofa. Only focus on the one piece. Once you get that in place, the rest will fall in place much more easily.

You might make mistakes.. And if you do, you'll live through it.

here is your rug pic:

src="http://media.restorationhardware.com/is/image/rhis/prod1860812-v?$718w$"; id="default-photo" class="main-photo" alt="Flatweave Pinstripe Wool Rug Ivory/Blue" title="Flatweave Pinstripe Wool Rug Ivory/Blue">

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[Living Room design[(https://www.houzz.com/photos/living-room-ideas-phbr0-bp~t_718) by Los Angeles Interior Designer Vanessa De Vargas