I thought you danced to your song!

That's what I thought, too. I can't imagine just standing there for a whole song -- much less in front of an audience. If I were a guest, I would be puzzled.

Maybe you are talking about playing "your" song during the ceremony itself? I've never seen that done. If it is, I can't imagine what you'd do other than just stand there -- I think it would look pretty strange if you danced or something. I would skip it, personally -- what does it add? -- and use it for your first dance at the reception, if there will be dancing.

If this is during the ceremony, it would be a good time to light a unity candle or give both sets of parents a hug. If it is during the reception, dance to the song would be the most obvious. If you want the song at the reception, but not to dance to it, it might be a good time to cut the cake.

The song will be played during the ceremony not the first dance song. We will have another song for our first dance during the reception.

Thank you duckie for your suggestion of hugging the parents. It's something to think about.

The times when I've seen special music during the ceremony (solo vocalist, usually, but sometimes live instrumentalist), the bride and groom just stand and listen along with everybody else.

The point at that spot usually is to 1) listen to the message of the song; and 2) enjoy the artistry of the performer.

You might light a unity candle as someone else mentioned. You might also present the mothers with a rose. Have your coordinator place two long stemmed roses on the altar or behind it before the ceremony, somewhere out of sight where you can easily reach them.

Thank you for everyone's input. I think we have decided what to do during our special song.

and that would be????

I need some ideas for a wedding ceremony, post union. The reason i put it this way is because my husband and I got united as one at the courthouse. I was pregnant at the time and i did not want to have a ceremony in which my dress would have been for someone who was 6 months pregnant. Now that it's been a year since the marriage, I would like to have a ceremony. I have lost my baby weight so I can wear a beautiful dress. As this is somewhat non traditional, I am in desperate need of some ideas on a wedding ceremony, post marriage. Please help!! I definitely want to incorporate my daughter into the wedding by making her the flower girl.

Alicia, I hate to be a wet blanket, and I know you want the traditional wedding that you didn't have due to circumstances. But the effect just isn't going to be the same, because you are already married. You keep calling it "post union" and stuff like that, but the truth is that the ceremony you already had does count as a wedding.

People on boards like this one tend to be really, really down on multiple weddings for the same marriage. I know you don't want your guests to think you are just wanting attention or gifts. Sometimes people are a little more tolerant if the reason for the first hurry-up ceremony were something serious like one of the couple suddenly being deployed overseas with the military or immigration issues. But the only reason you gave was that you "did not want to have a ceremony in which [your] dress would have been for someone who was 6 months pregnant." People might consider that frivolous. The more it seems just like someone wants to be "princess for a day," the less likely people are to approve. Did people already give you wedding gifts? Did anyone give a party or anything? If so, people are more likely to disapprove.

Think about what taking marriage vows again will say about the vows you already took -- you don't want to imply that they were meaningless.

I suggest you have a big, fabulous first anniversary party. You couldn't really do that if you'd had a big wedding, but you didn't, so it won't seem like too much. Wear a terrific dress -- I wouldn't recommend a wedding gown, but actually if it were me, I'd prefer a smashing dress I could wear again anyway. And white if you like -- why not? You can have a big fancy cake to cut, have speeches and toasts, a special dance, and a lot of the trimmings of a wedding.

I know you want to make your daughter a flower girl, but honestly, at age 9 months, I doubt it will mean anything to her. She will have just as much fun and get just as much attention anyway.

You didn't say whether the ceremony you want to have now is a religious one. If that is the case, and if it is important to you to have a religious ceremony, then I do not think it would look funny to have a religious ceremony now even though you are already civilly married. You don't mention anything like that, though, just -- twice -- that now you can wear a pretty dress. But even if you really are doing this for sincere religious reasons, be prepared for many people to think that it should not be a big event.

I absolutely agree with gellchom.

Alicia, think of it this way. You're already married. You missed out on "the wedding" that you'd probably always hoped for because of circumstances (however blessed). You can't get that back. You're already married and a wedding ceremony is for people to get married.

Yes, have a big anniversary party. If you want to wear a wedding dress, have at it! Some might think it a little strange (I probably would), but you could happily tell people that, since you didn't get to wear one when you got married, you're taking the anniversary party as an opportunity to do so.

But please don't consider having "a wedding".