FD
Alcohol and drug abuse hurt so many! It is very hard to leave someone who you love, but cannot help.
I hope for his sake your SO gets the help he needs, and he appreciates your love.

thanks mrsmaddog,
yes, substance abuse is something I hope to recognize and have guts to run away from much sooner than i did this time. if he will get help or not cannot be my problem anymore, when I think of a possibility of recovery, it gives me false hope for us being together. I have to focuis on my life not his, but, boy, is that tough...

fd, I'm so glad you've re-claimed your life.

Disfunction begets disfunction, & there were alreasy so many creepy things in that household...

Alcoholism is both a cause & a symptom;
it's the gift that keeps on giving until everybody dies from old age & frustration.

Good for you for picking better things for your life.

thanks sylvia, and yes it was the cause of a problem and also a symptom of deeper problems of unresolved anger and depression that remained uintreated. and he knows it and I know it. I am not looking forward to be alone right now but it will pay off in a long run. but as about dying of old age if he continues drinking like he did these last 2 weeks he will die way before he reaches old age. as most substance abusers end up.

Sorry FD, that news does suck...You must be very strong to be able to go for your own sanity when you still love him..Lots of folks cant do that..Also awful to be alone( after my divorce, I thought I d always be a spinster LOL)Things change, he may get help, or another companion might be just around the corner, you never know...Trying being your own best friend for a while...The Best, Dotz

thanks dotz. I came back to him after previous break up about 6 months ago, we just could not stay apart for more than a week...I think I had more strength this time because he agreed with me that this is unfair to me, I do not deserve this and I started to become co-dependent and exhibiting typical signs of a partner of alcoholic. I also have to add that i worried that since he cannot drive under the influence I can not rely on him if I need to go to a hospital, my parents need help as they get older, my car breaks down etc whenever he drinks he is not reliable and it is not once a month at a party, plus it is embarassing if DD would see him this way or my little niece or my nephew, who knows who can stop by or need our help, we all live close by. Being my own best friend is the best idea. thanks everyone who expressed their support...Life can be tough...but we'll all get through.

FD, best of luck. You will be fine. And there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.

All the best, FD. Stay strong. You never know, this may be the catalyst he needs x

Good luck, FD. It is probably better to end it now than later.

I hope your daughter's wisdom teeth extraction goes smoothly. It's no fun.

Fine, both sad and pleased to hear that. Sad because it means the end of something you cared about, but pleased that you found the strength to stand up for yourself. Keep that strength about you as the next few weeks will be hard and you will waiver. You know what is best for you - keep that in the forefront of all you do.

I'll be thinking of you.

thank you ladies. the best medicine in cases like this is to keep myself busy, which I am doing. I just wish he had enough strength to let me go without calling me and crying. It is not a picnic for him either but it makes it unbearable for me.

I spent a day at my parents and we recalled that we had two distant relatives who started wiht just minor drinking but ended up laying on the street in their own piss and consantly picked up by police and then dying of a heart attack in young age. Recalling that is enough for me to stay strong. I will not spend my life with anyone who is addicted to anything no matter how much i love them.

thanks again, you have been very supportive.

I am glad to hear that you had the strength to leave a situation like that! It takes a lot of courage to do that and I commend you! Best of luck to you. I am glad your staying on this forum. While I do not always agree with your advice I think that you do have a lot to offer this forum.

thanks mom2emall!

Take care of yourself, Finedreams, and I hope he gets some treatment very soon.

thanks for nice words serenity. I try not to think what he will or will not do because it keeps me on unhealthy path of trying to save others or focus on others' well-being. If he will seek recovery or not, it will not be my business. (Of course it is not what I trully feel, but I have to force myself to disengage- to keep my sanity).

finedreams, sorry to hear it. Good for you though for taking care of yourself, it is not easy to walk away from someone you love, even when you know it's the right thing.

FD, best of luck to you! It must be difficult for you, but you know that it is the right thing. If someone is going through addiction they really have to straighten out their own life and health before they can commit to being a partner for someone else. Kudos to you for having the strength to not drag yourself and your DD through the ups and downs.