Generally speaking, I'll decline the invitation if I don't know the couple well. Of course there are weddings I go to where I don't really know either the bride or groom, but my husband knows one of them well.

I'm also the sort of person who doesn't feel the need to buy a new outfit to go to a wedding, though it is a fantastic excuse if I'm just looking for a reason to buy something new for myself. And my first consideration when buying any gift is my budget, then I start thinking about the recipient.

every shower I go to, I'm glad to go to. Even at the expense of buying two gifts. I've gotten better at declining shower invites.

Some weddings I've gone to, I wish I didn't have to. I know the bride and groom, but the wedding isn't going to be that fun--or doesn't turn out to be that fun.

In my case it's the large extended family that I hardly know, and I sit around making small talk w/ these ultra conventional people--perfectly nice, but really boring conversation. And the music nowadays isn't that enjoyable. Dancing to techno-pop just seems like work.

however, I also know, in the two weddings I'm thinking of, I have great, great affection of the bride and groom. It's not their fault that the family is so big and so boring. And everybody *else* loved the music. My being there was a way to convey my regard.

There are other weddings (and sometimes showers I don't attend but do send a gift to) where family politics distates that I attend. They're cousins, and though I don't consider them close, their parents would be insulted if we didn't show up.

I do only go to the weddings that I want to. DH is very involved with young professionals, and is invited to many weddings. I generally shop for the department shower gift, and add a small something that is more personal to that. As for the weddings, I do enjoy them. I have attended everything from cake and punch receptions to the full blown 60K bash. I guess we are lucky that he works with people we like!

I must add, the year the "sunshine club" decided to assign seats at the Christmas dinner wasn't fun. I got up and moved to an overflow table where a very nice couple was sent, because the woman making the seating charts had "forgotten" them! The people at the company -- well, some are great, others are not so much -- we had barely said hello, when three other couples joined me saying "no one should feel excluded at a company event!"
Susan

I hate showers, even my own! I'm just not into the whole getting together with the girls and playing stupid games thing. I'd rather just have a nice night out with ALL my friends and no gifts. Now that almost everyone I know is married, it's been nice to not have to do those things. But I guess that means soon it will be baby showers, which are worse. Groups of girls playing stupid games talking about giving birth- UGH!

I attend weddings that I want to attend. But as for people I barely know, I have no problem sending my regrets and then a nice card. Friends' weddings have been really fun lately, and most are not doing traditional showers, thankfully.