This will be my 5th winter to winter sow and have learned to prep early. I've been prepping milk jugs all spring/summer/and now fall for this coming winter. I have 250+ milk jugs and lots of other types of containers ready/prepped so far and will continue doing right through winter. I got laughed at by John just last week when I said I probably had enough milk jugs ready. Also have learned to have lots of potting mix bought and in the basement before winter sets in. Have been slowing buying large bags through the summer when they've been on sale. First year got caught having to try to find some mid winter when I ran out, so make sure you have more than you think you'll need. Also learned to keep inside so it's not frozen from being in garage. I hate having to wait for the potting mix to unthaw. I do mostly perennials. I grow for my yard (running out of space), the yard at the cabin, cabin neighbors yard, both sisters yards, moms yard, and those I sneek plants into around the neighborhood. I've decided I would rather try to have too much ready, if that's possible, so it doesn't become hectic trying to find containers, soil etc, when it's suppose to be a fun time when winter sowing. Also my family doesn't enjoy it when I run around like a mad women trying to find containers, seeds, soil, etc. Sandy

Hey guys... just reading that poem makes me cry again. I still cry every day. It's really hard when you're by yourself at night. I miss Danny. I made a shrine to him in my room. It's been a few months now and though the pain isn't... as consuming, it's still with me all the time. The time we had together, his youthful eyes and laughter, they haunt me, you know. It's still not right that we are here "enjoying" life and it is over for him, so young, so full of potential. I keep wondering why it has to be this way. And why he couldn't have been pulled out of the water, why those boys who were with him don't care about us, because they never call. I keep wishing I was old enough to start a family, that my ex boyfriend was a good man so I could give into his pressure to go home. But my path is set.... it's so strange but in the aftermath I see clear evidence that we (mom and I) are doing as God intends, that he has plans for us and taking my brothers away are part of the plan. For my mother at least, no clearer evidence could have been presented that God is here and He does care. My mom was devastated to be here, after her head cleared. She quit her well paying corporate job to slave away for my vengeful, tyrannical father. Things were not looking good - on top of the grief she had to suffer his abuse to pay the bills. She was depressed and felt she made a huge mistake in the wake of the grief. I felt bad b/c I insisted that God wanted us here, to help my Dad (before he betrayed us) to be where Dan was, to be in this small town away from the city, away from my ex bf. I prayed and I really thought we were doing the right thing. Even at the worst I encouraged her that somehow, God would come through - I could feel it. And He did. Out of a pool of 462 applicants in a town of 50,000, *my mother* was chosen to be the business manager/instructor for the only scuba diving school in the entire area. Her new job is about as awesome as they come. She not only gets paid to learn a new career, scuba instruction, but will be taking 10 paid vacations a year to take clients to places like Australia, the South Pacific, Hawaii and Florida. That we moved here after Dan drowned, and now she has a new career in *underwater life support* is not lost on me. Praise God - if that isn't direct evidence of his Love than I don't know what is. My beautiful mother has suffered so - this bit of security, adventure and hope for quality of life was exactly what she needed. The owner is so nice he won't ever make her dive in the huge brown river that took my brother, though it is the local attraction for his business. We also got to meet the diver who pulled my brother out of the water (bless him, if his body hadn't been recovered or recovered quickly it would have been even more tormenting) and my mom will get to be a volunteer search and rescue diver herself. I don't know what I'm doing. I was supposed to go back to school to finish 8 credits but I blew it off - until January. For some reason I lost my motivation to go to law school. I want to do something else. I don't know what. I will keep praying and maybe God will show me the path. I'd endure just about anything if I could have him back. Death is so unforgiving. A few minutes of being underwater, unconscious, and you can't come back. I've been re-reading "The Lovely Bones" and I really like the way that novel describes Heaven. The little murdered girl wonders why her dearly beloved grandparents aren't in her heaven. It's because she can't let go of watching people on Earth - her family, the investigation, her school. I like to think that Dan is here sometimes, I can almost feel him. But when he is not, he must be enjoying hot rods, powdered mountains and babes in bikinis. There must be babes in his heaven. I am waiting to find the perfect landscape tattoo artist, and then I will get a memorial tattoo in Dan's honor. It will be a silhouette of a snowboarder popping off an impossible cliff, with a burning, brilliant variegated sunset in the background. Dan Krueger, 1986 - 2004, it will say. He was such a good brother. I'm so grateful God has shown himself to me in the blessings and messages, so I know Dan continues on and I will see him again. I just wish he could "enjoy" life. Maybe heaven has all the good parts of life and none of the bad. But you can still feel things. I mourn the loss of his feeling - he loved to feel. We all do. That Dan's opportunity was taken away makes me feel like I should make the most out of life - but I don't know what to do. I'm just saving all the money I'm earning, and being here for mom. Thanks for caring, Lu, and I hope you all are holding up okay. Oh man, now I'm looking at the pictures to post the link. Pictures hurt so bad. These basic ones I've seen, I can hardly bear to look at them, and trying to look at the hundreds of family photos we have in the closet is like trying to breathe underwater. I just can't do it yet. CRY CRY CRY CRY CRY Man, it hurts.

Congratulations to you! For two reasons, I would not call this party a "reception": (1) the party is much too far after the wedding -- closer to the first anniversary -- and (2) although it was a very small wedding, it wasn't an elopement or a City Hall ceremony with no celebration or guests at all. I would just call it a party in their honor. I would omit any reference to the wedding at all, so as to avoid any appearance of the party being an attempt to get gifts, as if the couple wanted an exotic private wedding at the time, but now feel they missed out on gifts. Of course, people who didn't already send a wedding gift probably will bring them one anyway, but you don't want it to look like you are prompting them. Everyone you are inviting will understand that the party is in honor of their marriage, because you will only (I assume) be inviting people who are close enough that they know that the couple were recently married, and that's why you are doing it. You wrote "food will be served," but I don't know if that means a casual barbecue in your yard, a picnic lunch at the park, a tea dance at a country club, a brunch, snacks, or what. The games make it sound casual, but you also mentioned music and dancing. Once you decide on your plans, that of course will affect the text of your invitation. If it will be a casual evening barbecue in your yard, for example, you might word the invitation like this: Please join us for a cookout, dancing, and swimming in honor of [couple's names, including last name(s)] Sunday, June 34th 5:00 p.m. at our home 123 Sesame Street R.s.v.p. 555-5555 [or email@email.com, or omit if you are including a response card or trust your friends to respond without prompting!] Or, you could leave out "and swimming" and add "Bring your bathing suits for a swim" at the end, depending on what you want to emphasize as the tone of your party. It's not necessary to mention that games will be available. I don't think you need to specify attire, unless you want it black tie, which doesn't sound likely. If you feel you must, IMHO it is better to stick to "casual" or "dressy" or something rather than anything confusing like "festive attire." But I don't think you need to say anything: the style, color, and font of the invitation will get the message to your guests. (We went to 3 weddings this month. One invitation said "black tie optional," one said "cocktail attire," and one said nothing, but it was a rather formal looking invitation to a Saturday night wedding with dinner and dancing. The guests' attire was the same at all three of them! Well, no tuxedos at the last two, but the women at all of them wore dressy evening outfits, some long, some short, some pants.) Have fun.

Gellchom great post. If it was me, I'd probably put the wedding on hold until I knew for sure what was going on. Although it appears they have remained friends after the breakup, it's an uncomfortable situation for the bride. I don't see what the big deal is that she not go to the wedding either. Marriage is about give and take, compromise. This marriage doesn't appear to be starting off too well. The OP will always wonder about them, it's not going to go away. 4. She lives on the other side of the country. But my fiance had to spend about 1 month in her city for work, and would meet up with her a lot during this time. After he came back, he slipped up and called me by her name. That was probably the last straw that made me decide: I really don't like this girl. If it was me, I'd give him a week or 2 to decide who matters in his life. I would feel uncomfortable after that. Who knows if they reconnected, (not necessarily sex) and now wonder about their feelings for each other? Why is it so important she come? 5. To be fair, he doesn't talk with her much anymore, and he has cut back on talking with her a lot (compared to how much he did before we met) How do you know? Could he erase text messages? How about on the computer? IM? What about gaming? I'm not there (obviously) but from your post, I don't see how you 2 will be able to spend the rest of your lives together with her hanging over your relationship. Marriage is very hard and something like this makes it even harder.